By: Kari on February 22, 2024
“They are stuck in their own manure pile, and they want everyone else to join them. They’re not even trying to get out; they just want to fling their poop around and pull people in!” I was figuratively talking about people who were playing the victim role (again). This was not the most articulate or…
By: Elysse Burns on February 22, 2024
Reading A Failure of Nerve felt like crossing a threshold. It feels for some time I have been trying to find the best paths to navigate the anxieties that go hand in hand with life. A Failure of Nerve provided me that “Aha!” I couldn’t help but nod when reading the brief interaction between Steinke…
By: Debbie Owen on February 22, 2024
What does a “with-God life” look like? What makes it different and attractive? Do we need to have a perfect with-God life to invite others to join us on the journey? These are questions I had been praying about so I could discern how to talk about discipleship and disciple-making for my doctoral project. I…
By: Diane Tuttle on February 21, 2024
I had a hard time getting started on this blog. It is not that I didn’t read or like Failure of Nerve by Edwin Freidman. On the contrary, it was one of the most thought provoking and compelling books that I have read in a long time. My problem was winnowing everything into what were…
By: Jennifer Eckert on February 21, 2024
Introduction Courageous leadership requires grit, humility, and perseverance. It isn’t for the faint of heart and is one of my favorite leadership qualities to study, perhaps because my own courage ebbs and flows sometimes. In his book, Failure of Nerve, author Edwin Friedman utilizes the tried-and-true Bowen Family Systems Model and applies it to organizations.…
By: Erica Briggs on February 21, 2024
It’s been over ten years now since I served at Metanoia Community Development Corporation. I started as Director of Elementary Leadership program just after coming back to the United States from South Korea. I’d spent a year teaching at a Christian school in Incheon, and wanted to continue working in a faith based environment. The…
By: Chris Blackman on February 21, 2024
Thirty years ago, I was promoted to be the CEO of a seafood distribution company based out of Reno, Nevada. It was a big promotion and one I was ready to take on. There was a corporate umbrella over it, which owned 3 other branches over two states. There was one man who owned the…
By: Ryan Thorson on February 21, 2024
Hi. My name is Ryan and I’m a people pleaser. Its been less than one day since I tried to please someone else without evaluating my own values, needs or limits. I’ve been in recovery for some time now, constantly attempting to regulate my desire to help others (introducing me, a “2” on the enneagram)…
By: Chad Warren on February 21, 2024
The interim pastor told me they behaved similarly to emotionally abused victims he had counseled many times before. Most of the staff and many in the congregation acted like families he had seen where dad had a bad anger problem; when he lost his temper, he became emotionally and verbally abusive. Abused by whom? Their…
By: Graham English on February 21, 2024
When I read A Failure of Nerve, by Edwin Friedman, I thought I was only going to write on pastoral leadership. However, the book struck a more personal nerve for me. Two and a half years ago Wendy and I made a decision that would alter our lives significantly. We moved my mom and…
By: Shela Sullivan on February 21, 2024
In my reading this week, I learned that the author criticizes the dominant leadership models that rely on data, empathy, and quick fixes. He argues that these models are based on a fallacy of empathy that mixes up feeling and thinking, and reactivity and responsibility. He proposes a different leadership approach that is based on…
By: Nancy Blackman on February 20, 2024
December 23, 1888 Was he too emotional, trying too hard, not asking the right questions, or living in an either/or mindset? In my research of creative communities, I’m learning how artists and writers from the past have shaped creativity for the present. Vincent van Gogh is an artist I stumbled upon, or maybe…
By: Adam Cheney on February 20, 2024
We were stuck on a treadmill that just kept gaining in speed and increasing in incline. I do not even know how long my wife and I were on that treadmill, months, years, a decade probably. We knew adopting kids would be hard. Yet, we had no idea what we were really getting into. We…
By: Glyn Barrett on February 20, 2024
“A Failure of Nerve Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix” by Edwin H Friedman is compelling, especially the comparisons between the old and new world orientations, summarised at the end of chapter one[1]. The author’s juxtaposition of the two worlds provides an accurate analogy for the goal of a leader when guiding an…
By: Jeff Styer on February 19, 2024
Life is all about perspective, how each person sees and understands something. Have you read or heard the Indian parable about the six blind men and the elephant? James Baldwin retells the story, The Blind Men and the Elephant. In the short story he describes six blind men’s encounter with an elephant. As each blind…
By: Noel Liemam on February 18, 2024
About three years ago, I had an uncle (I will call him Steve) that I knew very well that had a stroke. Since then, he decided to confine himself to his home even though he could be mobile with the aid of his wheelchair. His wife is now staying home taking care of him full-time.…
By: Joel Zantingh on February 16, 2024
Two years ago, I started consulting with churches and mission organizations. The one church asked me to become their Interim Pastor, but my gut instinct told me I could simply offer to be their Transitional Coach for 10 hours a week, and rely on the gifted staff team they had, and get them just as…
By: Akwese on February 16, 2024
There are many ways to view leadership, and various types, models, methods, and frameworks have been created to help us explore our understanding of it. When it comes to developing a theology of leadership, it seems as though what’s often being explored is the model of servant leadership or some variation of it. Jesus…
By: Julie O'Hara on February 15, 2024
We began the dive just in time to catch some slack water between the tides. It wasn’t very long before my buddy approached and knelt right in front of me in the cold, green water. Behind him, the kelp leaned and swayed in the increasing current. He looked me in the eye and made a…
By: Erica Briggs on February 15, 2024
On Thursday, February 8th, 2024 a mother called the crisis line to report that her 12-year-old son was destroying personal property and exhibiting aggressive behavior towards members of the household. The operator told her to call the police. When officers arrived, the child walked off the property and away from the scene. Since he was…
