What would be a balance work-life?
About three years ago, I had an uncle (I will call him Steve) that I knew very well that had a stroke. Since then, he decided to confine himself to his home even though he could be mobile with the aid of his wheelchair. His wife is now staying home taking care of him full-time.
I could remember those days when he was one of the most active and the go to person in our Micronesian community. During those days, we just started a first ‘Chuukese church’ in Portland area called, Island Community Church (ICC). All of our leaders were part-timers in the church while working full-time in the industries. Most of them try to find jobs that would make them available for the weekends so they could be working at our church during the weekends while others would work a night-shift job. So, my uncle Steve was one of those that worked a night-shift job to be available on the weekends. Steve worked a, 10-7 Sunday to Thursday shift as a security guard, at a school. This freed up his time for church work on the weekends. However, as he was resting during his off time, other people from our community called him up and asking him to help them with miscellaneous tasks. The problem was that most of the time went and assist them. He did this for so many years thinking that it was part of his working for the church, even thought it was hard on himself.
When Poole [1] told the story about the ‘The Happy Prince,’ unfortunately, it reminds of Steve. Especially when the mayor ordered the statue to be pulled down and thrown away because it too ugly for the town. This part (17. The Work-life balance) of the book really resonates with me because of Steve and others in our church that seem to be having this issue of Work-life balance. But how should a leader deal with this? I mean sometimes you would feel that you are obligated to help. How should one draw the line?
Personally, I felt that I am in in this situation every day during this doctoral journey. I work 9 to 5 from Monday to Friday; however, because of the nature of the work, I sometimes work from home on the weekends. Every week I have to struggle to allocate and prioritize time between family. work, schooling and even time for myself (for resting). Moreover, when something unplanned or emergency occurs, it has drastic effects.
In the ‘Fables of Aesop about The Farmer and the Snake,’ [2] a farmer saw a frozen snake in the field, he felt that he had to help the snake, so he put the frozen snake in his shirt to thawed it out. But when the snake was thawed out and became conscious, it bit him. As leaders, we are to care for our people just as much as we are also to be careful that our caring doesn’t bite us. The question here is, how do we find balance in what we do? Or how do you balance your work-life?
[1] Poole, Eve. Leadersmithing: Revealing the Trade Secrets of Leadership (pp. 30-31). Bloomsbury Publishing. Kindle Edition.
[2]Daboss. http://www.fablesofaesop.com/the-farmer-and-the-snake.html (accessed February 17, 2024).
About the Author
Noel Liemam
6 responses to “What would be a balance work-life?”
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Noel, I commend you for recognizing the importance of a work-life balance. As a pastor’s kid and now someone in the ministry, I have witnessed many people spread themselves too thin and burn out. It’s not a pretty picture.
What do you think is one thing you can get rid of in your schedule this semester to create a better work-life balance? This is something I am still navigating in my own life.
Hi Elysse, well, I got work, family, school, part-time work for a small non-profit organization. I believe I will have to cut back time with the non-profit organization.
Thank you for your input.
Noel, I will be praying for you as you make important decisions to give yourself the best work-life balance. Christy Liner gave a really impactful response to Glyn in her “Power Pose” post. She mentioned the things we do can be viewed through the lens of being worship to God. What kind of life can be lead that is most worshipful to God? I don’t think it’s the stressful, chaotic one we are so prone to creating for ourselves.
Noel, thanks your openness in sharing this struggle of work-life balance. I too feel the strain right now as I work to adjust to a new rhythm this semester. Something that has helped me is to remind myself that I don’t always have the same capacity and that’s okay.
Instead of trying to do the best all the time I say what’s the best I can do today, recognizing that some days I just don’t have the capacity to function at the same level as I did a year, week or day before. Letting that be okay isnt always easy, especially as a recovering perfectionist, but it’s been such a gift mainly because it’s shown me all the meaning I’ve assigned to things and helped me surrender those insecurities to God.
Elysse asked what you might drop this semester. I’m curious to know what fears come up when you think about dropping that one thing and what insight it has to offer you regarding an even more unshakeable sense of worth 🙂
Noel,
I relate to the feeling you describe regarding work-life balance. I have a demanding job, three kids, and a priority to spend time with my wife. Finding space for doctoral work is a squeeze. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. Thank you for your post.
Thank you Akwese, for your comment. My main fear is the balance-act. As I have stated earlier that it is hard because sometimes unexpected things happen, and it just push the rest out of order. This happened to me twice last year. The first incident was that I missed the trip to Cape Town Africa because I could not receive my visa from the African Consulate in time. Second, I was recalled home to update my visa. And the third one was that our home got flooded and needed a major renovation, I am praying and hoping that this year is a good year. Thanks for your question,