DLGP

Doctor of Leadership in Global Perspectives: Crafting Ministry in an Interconnected World

The Metallurgy of Leadership

Written by: on October 13, 2022

How is a leader formed? More specifically, how is the characteristic and practice of resilience formed in a leader? This is the question taken up by Tod Bolsinger in “Tempered Resilience: How Leaders are Formed in the Crucible of Change.”[1] In an introduction, eight chapters, epilogue, and notes, Bolsinger establishes his primary metaphor and then unpacks what it means for the leadership journey. In his introduction he writes: “…I want to talk about the processes and practices that develop tempered, resilient change leaders who will be able to avoid what Edwin Friedman calls a ‘failure of nerve’ as well as what I call a ‘failure of heart.’”[2]

Bolsinger uses the metaphor of iron being worked into steel on the anvil and in the hot forge to describe the process through which a leader must pass in order to develop “tempered resilience” in their character and skills.[3] “Tempering a leader is a process of reflection, relationships, and practices during the act of leading that form resilience to continue leading when the resistance is highest.”[4] He is seeking to address the holistic spiritual work that a leader is invited to undertake when faced with challenge, resistance, and even suffering. His book is complementary to Eve Poole’s book, “Leadersmithing: Revealing the Trade Secrets of Leadership.”[5] Poole also uses the metaphor of the forge, but focuses on the opportunity an apprentice has to learn the skills of the master blacksmith. Using this metaphor of the apprentice at the forge, her book zeroes in on the different skill sets a leader can develop if they are willing to practice like an apprentice. In contrast, Bolsinger focuses on the process undergone by the metal to become tempered, to become resilient and uses this metaphor to describe the processes and spiritual/relational practices a leader must undergo to also develop tempered resilience. In essence, Bolsinger provides his version of the hero’s journey; a version specifically focused on leadership.[6]

In Bolsinger’s telling of the leader’s hero’s journey, he shares significant parts of his own story.[7] This gives his book the flavor of an autobiography. At the same time he draws heavily from others like Edwin Friedman (referencing him at least 12 times), Ronald Heifetz, and Βrené Brown (among many others) who have written on leadership, offering a thoughtful guidebook or map to navigate the challenging landscape of leadership and emerge more resilient and wise.

Bolsinger explicates what we read of Nelson Mandela’s and Desmond Tutu’s stories and then experienced on the ground in South Africa. I found Bolsinger’s chapter on “Heating: Strength is Forged in Self-Reflection” of particular relevance. Both Mandela and Tutu spent considerable time in self-reflection, and did so in the presence of God. I am still marveling at Tutu’s commitment to spend three hours a day in listening prayer—asking the Lord for guidance, insight, and direction. He didn’t even allow this time to be interrupted by calls from world leaders. Bolsinger tells the story of Mark Roberts when he was hired as the new executive director for Fuller’s Max De Pree Center for Leadership. Roberts also spent dedicated time in listening prayer every morning where he examined before God his actions, emotions, motivations, and desires for the Center.[8] It is this type of vulnerable self-reflection that turns up the heat of the forge and allows a leader to be more deeply shaped and formed in the way God has in mind for that leader. As I return to Lebanon from my extended time in South Africa and Malawi ten days from now and enter into this year where Scott is working in Ohio and I am in the Middle East, as we continue to listen for God’s timing and sorting of the logistics for the ministry transition we are in, as I finish my Project Portfolio and our Leadership courses, I am making a fresh commitment to daily time in contemplative, self-examining, listening prayer before the Triune God. I need to have the heat turned up in this way to be prepared for the season that lies ahead and to develop further tempered resilience.

[1] Bolsinger, Tod E. 2020. Tempered Resilience: How Leaders Are Formed in the Crucible of Change. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.

[2] Ibid., 5.

[3] Ibid., 6.

[4] Ibid., 5.

[5] Poole, Eve. 2017. Leadersmithing: Revealing the Trade Secrets of Leadership. London ; New York, NY: Bloomsbury Business, an imprint of Bloomsbury Publishing Plc.

[6] Campbell, Joseph. 2008. The Hero with a Thousand Faces. 3rd ed. Bollingen Series XVII. Novato, Calif: New World Library.

[7] Bolsinger, 75-77 for example.

[8] Ibid., 88.

About the Author

Elmarie Parker

17 responses to “The Metallurgy of Leadership”

  1. mm Troy Rappold says:

    Ms. Elmarie:
    Returning to Lebanon is an exciting change and one that would make me turn up the heat in prayer, too. I pray for God’s blessings for you and your husband. I would think all the books we have been reading would provide great insight for discerning God’s next move for you.

    • Elmarie Parker says:

      Thank you, Troy. I very much appreciate your prayers. And I have so much appreciated hearing more from you about your own discipline commitments–very encouraging to my commitments. Your very practical and concrete practices help me develop similar concrete steps. Thank you.

  2. Elmarie, you summarize and organize Bolsinger’s thoughts and intensions so well. Thank you! Reading your post, I’m picking up on his aim to elevate both the outter (hero’s) journey and the inner (heroine’s) journey. I see it in the quote you use, “Tempering a leader is a process of reflection, relationships, and practices during the act of leading that form resilience to continue leading when the resistance is highest.”

    How do you practically engage these as leader in contexts of resistance?

    • Elmarie Parker says:

      Hi Michael. Thank you for your feedback on my post. I especially found helpful your reflection that connected my thoughts with both the inner and outer hero’s journey. I still would value receiving the book title of the heroine’s journey (or the author you have found most helpful with this).

      You ask in relation to this quote: “Tempering a leader is a process of reflection, relationships, and practices during the act of leading that form resilience to continue leading when the resistance is highest.” How do you practically engage these as a leader in contexts of resistance?

      With deliberate attention and intention.

      For reflection, I find talking with a trusted friend or colleague outside of the situation very helpful…someone who will ask me the hard questions and push me to look at my own contribution to the emotional processes that are unfolding so that I can keep on keeping on with the work of appropriate differentiation and courageous/discerning actions implemented with as much wisdom as I have available at the time. I also find contemplative prayer in the tradition of Ignatius very helpful. His questions also push me to honesty with myself and with the Spirit.

      Regarding relationships–I’ve made it a practice over the years to invest in a mutual accountability group every place God has called me to minister…as well as remain invested in long-term relationships with those who have known me over the decades and have a long view of how God has worked in and through me (and can ask the hard questions/give the feedback I need to keep growing). This also helps me stay focused on how I am relating to those who may be part of demonstrating resistance and listen with a more open spirit and hand to their concerns and how their insights can contribute to a more holistic way forward through the adaptive challenges we are jointly facing. Any bridge I can build, I seek to build. Sometimes that just isn’t possible, but often it is.

      Regarding practices beyond the above…this is the place I feel I need to continue to stretch and grow in. I am very intuitive, so concrete practices are a challenge for me to maintain as they often end up feeling restrictive. At the same time, I can look back and see how they have been helpful. So…I am continuing to work at this in order to further strengthen and discipline that intuitive part of myself…otherwise it is too easy to become lazy and not do the work of putting into words what I sense is the direction to go. I need to do this in order to become a more effective leader.

  3. mm Jonathan Lee says:

    Thank you for your thoughts Elmarie. I hear about many chaos that is taking place in Lebanon right now. I am sure returning to Lebanon is exciting and fearful at the same time for you. I will be praying for your safety and ministry there. What would it mean to bring a presence of comforting and peaceful leadership into a country that is facing collapse and uncertainty?

    • Elmarie Parker says:

      Hi Jonathan. Thank you for your kind reply to my post, and for your prayers…much needed!

      Thank you also for your question: What would it mean to bring a presence of comforting and peaceful leadership into a country that is facing collapse and uncertainty? This is something I pay a lot of attention to. The main practice I utilize is attending to my own anxiety levels and bringing those anxieties into conversation with the Spirit. I regularly pray for grace enough for the day and wisdom enough for the day. If my anxiety spills over into the lives of those around me, I ask for their forgiveness. My aim is to be present in a non-anxious way, to listen, to pray with those who cross my path and whose path I cross, and to keep voicing the sparks of hope, resilience, grace, and human dignity I observe so as to encourage those around me to notice God’s activity in their midst when they are feeling discouraged or tired.

  4. mm Roy Gruber says:

    Elmarie, thanks for the connections you made between this week’s reading and previous ones. I also appreciate the challenge you have taken on to spend more time with God. You have challenged me do that as well. You wrote: “It is this type of vulnerable self-reflection that turns up the heat of the forge and allows a leader to be more deeply shaped and formed in the way God has in mind for that leader.” What would suggest as a way for the self-reflection to truly become “vulnerable,” especially for someone who struggles with facing their own weaknesses? (Asking for a friend)

    • Elmarie Parker says:

      Hi Roy…thank you so very much for your generous reflection on my post. We’ll have to encourage each other in our follow-through as we seek to spend more time with God in listening prayer.

      You ask: What would suggest as a way for the self-reflection to truly become “vulnerable,” especially for someone who struggles with facing their own weaknesses? (Asking for a friend)…is this last piece in parenthesis a tongue-in-check statement or literal :)?

      For me, I have found the Ignatius Prayer Exercises the most effective for inviting/pushing/pulling me into a deeper vulnerability with myself, with others, and with the Spirit. Are you familiar with this? I’m going to dig out my binder and notes when I get home in a week’s time.

      What have you found helpful?

  5. mm Andy Hale says:

    Elmarie,

    After experiencing the contextualization of Tutu and Mandela’s leadership, I wonder how our privilege as American Christian leaders prevents us from being willing to facedown similar trials.

    While people are complicated and there is a myriad of difficult circumstances facing many Christian leaders today, especially those leading the local church through whatever the church will look like in the coming decades, there are countless societal ailments that church leaders often ignore, such as systemic racism, gender inequality, sexual-orientation discrimination, and immigration.

    Are we willing to face the challenges, hammering, hewing, and heating that come when leaders actually lead their congregations to wrestle with these complex issues?

    • Elmarie Parker says:

      Hi Andy…thank you so very much for your thoughtful interaction with my post. I really appreciate the wonderings and question you share…they are ones I hold as well.

      You write: “I wonder how our privilege as American Christian leaders prevents us from being willing to facedown similar trials.” I think our privilege especially as white American Christian leaders is a barrier we must further address…challenging though that may be. I’ve been grateful for the ways in my denomination’s national offices we’ve been walking more deeply into this over the past 2.5 years. I’ve learned a lot as I’ve listened to my colleagues of color and their experiences in our very white culture church. We still have a ways to go, but we are at least started.

      How is your national office tackling this challenge?

      You also ask: “Are we willing to face the challenges, hammering, hewing, and heating that come when leaders actually lead their congregations to wrestle with these complex issues?” I pray so…I definitely see a gap between the conversations we have among national staff and what is happening at a local congregational setting. So many of the local pastors I speak with are exhausted by all that the pandemic held, and they are very cautious about walking into the polarizing political landscape the issues you mention often raise. So, this is part of what I am hoping will be an outcome of my NPO project…in walking with young people to equip them with the skills to navigate and lead this work in their congregational and community settings. The only way forward I know of is at the practical grassroots level. High level conversation is needed in many ways, but it can’t be the only thing we do (and we Presbyterians are very good at the high level conversations, but often do not effectively equip local pastors and elders with the skills to navigate and lead this challenging work in a transformational way at the grass roots).

  6. mm Eric Basye says:

    Very well done. I love the connections. I am excited for you and this next season. You speak of the season as having the heat crank up to prepare you for the season ahead. From my perspective, your being in this season is the heat being cranked up! I look forward to what He will do. If you had to take a stab at it, is there a “theme” which the Lord is communicating to you in this current season and as you look ahead?

    • Elmarie Parker says:

      Hi Eric…thank you for your interaction with my post. You have such an encouraging spirit about you!

      You ask: “If you had to take a stab at it, is there a “theme” which the Lord is communicating to you in this current season and as you look ahead?” Great question! What I feel I’ve been hearing is two-fold: patience/trust (I the Lord will lead and guide you both step-by-step, day-by-day…attend to the invitation of the day) AND grassroots (I’ve called you to work with the grassroots and be a bridge between the grassroots and 30,000/40,000 foot level conversations going on in the ecumenical/theological/missiological/interfaith/political/economic/science world).

  7. Kayli Hillebrand says:

    Elmarie: I love the connection you made specifically between Bolsinger and Poole. The metaphor certainly has multiple applications depending on what subject within we are focused on. In this season, do you feel like to resonate more with the apprentice, the blacksmith, or the metal?

    • Elmarie Parker says:

      Hi Kayli…thank you for your thoughtful question: “In this season, do you feel like to resonate more with the apprentice, the blacksmith, or the metal?” I think at this point in my journey and in this season of this journey, I feel a deep invitation to being the metal and apprentice–the continuing internal/soul-scape formation work as a leader and the external/tangible skills development in the areas of working with conflictual and/or hard/challenging conversations/interactions and implications for community identity development AND curriculum/journey development for those participating in leadership experience I am developing through my NPO.

  8. mm Denise Johnson says:

    Elmaire,
    You did a nice job tying in so many other references. I also saw the refinement connection with Mandela & Nelson. As a fellow sojourner with Jesus who is waiting the hall for his next assignment, I can relate to a new commitment to pressing into contemplative prayer.

    • Elmarie Parker says:

      Thank you, Denise, for your interaction with my post. I’m so glad to have a companion on the way of pressing more deeply into contemplative prayer. Let’s connect further on this!

  9. mm Nicole Richardson says:

    Elmarie, As you live into the heat of this coming season and the stressors you may endure, in what ways may the philosophy of umbuntu inform the way/s you lead?

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