What a year to say the least. What has surprised me the most is that with all that has been going on I have been able to stay up with the program. I have taken on a lot more responsibility and some times I wonder if that is the right idea at this time. But I feel like it’s my job to take on this extra responsibility. It kind of adds spice to the whole thing.
I feel this year I have become more confident because of our course readings. I feel that our readings have been pushing us to a state of mind to function in excellence. I really loved our last book and how it talked about resilience. That word alone seems to reflect my life so much. I have so much to thank God for and I think that this last year I have grown even more in this area.
I feel that because of the resilience that God has been growing in me I am more relaxed in leading. Even though I am not seeing the growth in numbers in my church, I am patient and able to notice the growth in our members. I feel leading is a mind set now more. I don’t look at the results as much now. I know I have to be faithful and to me leading this year reflects my understanding of leading differently. I feel I am more settled to lead and more opened minded.
I am still a little in the blue about my dissertation but the lead mentor’s readings and our interactions on our chat is opening me up to continue to pursue my topic. I have changed quite a bit since I began this program. I think I was looking at my denomination the wrong way because of how the denomination has hurt people and how church people have personally hurt me. All in all I love my church deeply and my denomination. I think this program this year has given me more of a love for my denomination and I want to be blessing to it. I am going to be going under a new Bishop because the Bishop we had stepped down. But this Bishop has bee open and he has some of the same ideas that I have for ministry in the Church of God in Christ. I like being in fellowship and under a covering. And I have been able to talk personally with this Bishop and I have expressed my concerns about how our church has operated over the past. And he is leading with the goal to change many of the issues that has plagued our church. So this is really important to me now.
I enjoyed our advance to Hong Kong but hated the food. The food just was not anywhere near Cape Town. But going to China and learning from our trips are just mind-boggling for me. I always wanted to go to Africa and China was just a plus. I think this program has made me into a whole different person and I am grateful for it.
The PLDP has been helpful to me in getting my ideas in line. I hope that I can glean from it this summer and get closer to my thesis. I think that I can almost see my way through to my dissertation but truthfully I feel a bit challenged by it. I am going to give it a closer look, read through my other work, pray, study, and give the last year my best shot.