Questions Are Powerful
Anyone ever told you there are no stupid questions? Mining for Gold may challenge that idea. Tom Camacho claims “There are great questions, OK questions, and terrible questions.” (Camacho, 70) At least when it comes to coaching.
The journey that introduced Tom to coaching was raw and inspiring. It involved some real pain and I appreciated his honesty. Tom slowly lost his dream church, which I imagine, involved feelings of shame, grief, and discouragement. This led him to own some shortcomings which seems to be the case in most of our life stories. (Camacho, 50)
Suffering is a great motivator to change. (I know after speaking with several of you at Cape Town, the majority of our NPO’s are aimed at releasing some kind of personal or societal pain point.)
Ok, back to the book…
Camacho says, “Coaching leaders don’t just look at our symptoms. They get to the core issues that need a touch from God.” (Camacho, 69-71). Effective coaches and teachers ask penetrating questions that bypass our facade and even make us a little uncomfortable. Asking good, deeper level questions is an art.
Camacho says, “When you’ve never faced your shadow, it’s like a door you don’t want to open for fear of what you’ll find inside.” (Camacho, 51) Ain’t that the truth. Sorry, my Tennessee accent is shining through. Questions make us think, which may lead us to reevaluate, reframe, or even unlearn foundational beliefs or behaviors.
A great question our staff has asked from time to time is, “Why are we doing this?” Because we always have? People expect it? Habit? Familiarity? Fear of some sort? We usually realize, once again, that we are channeling time and energy into things that don’t serve us best or have run their course.
I need these type of questions thrown at my personal and professional life. I’ve been a coach for others and have had others coach me. Most were productive experiences. For example, I drug my feet for months before pursuing my masters, even though I knew it was time. What led to me finally calling the school? ONE coaching session. She simply asked me, “What do you need to do next to get the ball rolling?” Then she scheduled a follow up. That’s all it took, a simple question and a little accountability… it’s almost embarrassing.
I worked at Anytime Fitness for about four years and the letters A.S.G. have been branded into my brain. Accountability. Support. Guidance. These were the three things our clients needed to be successful in their health and these were the things we all needed to be successful in our company.
Accountability is a fascinating thing that I learned the most about during my time in the fitness world. We had clients who stayed with us for years. However, I noticed that people eventually learned most of the exercises, repetitions, and routines, but needed our presence to remain consistent. There was something about knowing we were waiting on them each week and would follow up with their goals that kept them moving in the right direction. Knowing what to do became less important than the accountability and support they needed to maintain what they already knew to do.
The word cooperating pops up everywhere in this book which signals to me that the author is saying “pay attention here!”. He gives a picture of a seagull soaring effortlessly in the sky that he connects to people who cooperate with their God-given design. (Camacho, 124) I’ve spent countless hours attempting to swim, climb, and jump while all the while covered with feathers. There are times when I am out of tune with myself and even seem oblivious to the fact that certain things are draining me or I am not cooperating with my specific design and purpose.
As uncomfortable as it can be, we need someone asking us, “Where has your time and energy been going lately?” Tom says, “Tying together our design with the way we spend our time is explosive.” (Camacho, 133) This reiterates that good coaches give us permission to do what’s most natural for our temperament, talents, and wiring through penetrating questions.
Questions are powerful.
This book does a great job of inspiring and supporting the necessity for a coach to take people to new levels in their personal, spiritual, and professional lives. Even more importantly, he reminds us that good questions are essential to cultivate the gold in ourselves and others.
Tom Camacho, Mining for Gold: Developing Kingdom Leaders through Coaching London: InterVarsity Press, 2019.
About the Author
Adam Harris
I am currently the Associate Pastor at a church called Godwhy in Hendersonville, TN near Nashville. We love questions and love people even more. Our faith community embraces God and education wholeheartedly. I graduated from Oral Roberts University for undergrad and Vanderbilt for my masters. I teach historical critical Biblical studies at my church to help our community through their questions and ultimately deepen their faith. I love research, writing, learning, and teaching. I oversee our staff and leadership development. Before being at Godwhy I worked as a regional sales coach and director for Anytime Fitness. I've been married for over 13 years to my best friend and we have two amazing boys that keep us busy.9 responses to “Questions Are Powerful”
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Over the years I have been collecting “good questions.” Literally. I have them stored in a file on my computer and I refer to them often. I use them primarily with staff and key leaders. Here are a few of them:
• What are you wrestling with and how can I assist you?
• If you were in my shoes, what would you be doing differently than what you see us doing today?
• What’s the most important thing our organization has to gain with whatever direction we take together?”
• What makes this decision so difficult for you?
• What more could we be doing to impact the Kingdom of God?
• What does the Bible say about this?
• How can I pray for you?
Adam, I’m sure you have some questions like this floating around on your hard drive or in your head. Any you would be willing to share? Asking for a friend.
Thanks for sharing those questions John! Some questions that have been powerful for me personally and others have been:
1. Hypothetically, if I were wrong about (insert whatever here) what would that mean for me? This has been a question that helps me break through fear and pride more than anything.
For example: If I were wrong about x, y, or z I would have to apologize, validate another person’s perspective, admit I was wrong, rethink, restructure, etc. which can involve several negative emotions and feelings! My wife has taught me a lot about this one. lol
2. What inner issues could be behind this person’s outer behavior? Trauma, fear, insecurity, pain… I had such an eye opening moment when we had a psychiatrist speak at our church who claimed that fear (of some sort) is behind most peoples anger.
3. What is God trying to develop in me through this? I usually ask this when I’m praying for God to change everyone and everything else around me or when I want to avoid something difficult.
4. Is this still the right approach for us? How could this have served them well then, but not us now?
Good ol’ John Maxwell says there are times to move the fence posts, but not until you understand why they were there in the first place.
These are just a couple that came to mind! Thanks again for the comments and for sharing those questions my friend!
How can I pray for you? It is my favorite question. There was a vibrant Youth Pastor that would post that question on his feed at least once a week and I was always moved by it. It is such a beautiful way to invite someone into a space of intentional conversation and share open dialogue. He would always get numerous requests and very rarely did someone ask him, “how can I pray for you?” I think I may begin to develop a set of questions of my own and this one is at the top of the list. John, how can I pray for you?
That quote “tying together our design with the way we spend our time is explosive” blew my mind (pun intended). I KNOW that, I’ve been TAUGHT that. I’ve READ it 1,000 times, but I have not PRACTICED that well.
How have you found ways of making that reality work in your life? I’d love to maybe pick up something from you that I can add to my patterns.
Thanks for sharing!
Definitely don’t have this mastered! Practically, one of the best things I’ve done in this area was hiring. I had to make a power point presentation case to our trustees to hire someone who was wired to do the things that were draining me. It helped painting a picture of how this hire would help us move forward as an organization.
Funny enough, I was just thinking today how thankful I was for Beth (who we did in fact hire) who was doing all the things that would have driven me crazy, and was just fine with it!
I think Kally mentioned in her recents posts, that Pastors, especially in smaller to mid-size churches, can easily become a catch all.
For instance, there are times when I do some of the graphic design at our church. I feel kind of neutral on it, but it can take hours away from areas that need more of my attention. Last Sunday we had a person mention they had a passion for graphic design and they want to plug in, so you better believe we are asking them questions!
I’m sure I’m not telling you anything you don’t know, but that’s what I have.
Anything you’ve picked up over the years? Would love to hear about some of your current patterns.
I’m with you on hiring. Recently we invited a co-pastor to join the team who would focus on structure and strategy while I focused on vision and voice (preaching). It’s been an amazing release for my passions, wiring, and gifts.
But not many can just hire someone to solve their problems. I have discovered when I can’t solve the challenge with money (hiring) I ask some questions…
1. I ask if the thing really needs to be done at all.
2. I ask if it needs the kind of effort I’m giving it (maybe, like reading a book, it can be done in 1 hour when I’m giving it 20).
3. I ask if there is anyone else who would love to do it, instead? (your graphic design example).
4. I ask how much oversight I’d have to give it if I hand it off (many times much less than I assume, especially if I am clear about expectations from the beginning)
5. I ask what empowerment would be best strategically (am I asking for someone to do a task or looking for someone to oversee and disciple a group of others who can all engage that task?)
Those are just some top-line thoughts. I love the engagement on these blogs and appreciate your clear processing of the material and your connection to ministry life.
Adam, thank you for the speaking to the power of good coaching. I loved that you highlighted “When you’ve never faced your shadow, it’s like a door you don’t want to open for fear of what you’ll find inside.” from Camacho’s book. Our Shadow, very scary and nerve-wracking place to visit and be present to. Your reflection made me think about the “long haul” when you spoke about your coaching at the fitness center, that what your customers needed after they “learned the movements and repetitions” from you all was your continued presence. I didn’t see it in Camacho’s book, but I wonder what relationship looks like after coaching. I’ve always cringed when I see the evangelizing on the street corner, Yes, maybe you saved them in this moment, but did you help connect them to the vine? How can we as leaders help create healthy leaders for the long haul when our coaching and mentoring is done? Where is our boundary when if this is a professional relationship? What is a vine leadership can cling to that keeps us connected to God and each other?
“Tying together our design with the way we spend our time is explosive.”
I love this quote by Camacho! I recently read in Chad McSwain’s post (which I would highly recommend). In his post he highlights Camacho’s principle of operating within your sweet 80% of the time. What would you say is your sweet spot Adam? Also, permission to steal the questions you listed in the comments above?
Great job my friend!
Hey David, great to hear from you buddy! I appreciate the response. That’s a great question. I may have answered that questions differently a week ago but after listening to Patrick Lencioni’s, 6 Types of Working Genius, I think I have new categories!
1. Wonder – (I wonder if there is another way to do this? I wonder if we could try that? These people are the dreamers)
2. Inventor – (They creative innovative ways to meet a need)
3. Discerner – (They are able to determine if or how something will work. They analyze a lot of data to make sure the “idea” or “theory” will work in practice)
4. Galvanizer- (They like to inspire people or rally the troops to hit a goal or keep the vision)
5. Enabler – (These people empower and help others to get the job done, helpers)
6. Tenacity – (They are people who HAVE to finish a job, they make sure things get finished and have great follow thru)
In these categories I think I am a Wonderer and Discerner, but I need to take the test. On a practical level, when I am reading, prepping, creating, designing, teaching, or writing I am in my zone.
What about you?