Lead with Love
“She’s a pastor? But she is too nice to be a pastor.” That is what the receptionist at the kennel said to my husband. He was dropping off our kitties before heading out of town with me for a conference. The receptionist asked where we were going this time and he told her he was my plus one at a pastor’s conference. My instant reaction to hearing this was, “oh, how sweet.” The more I thought about it, however, the more it made me sad. Wait a minute. What is her experience with pastors if someone who just shows common courtesy is “too nice to be a pastor?” The more I think about it, the more it breaks my heart. Sadly, this is not a rare occurrence where we live. The Church does not have a positive reputation here. One of my goals is to change that image.
This is the story that comes to mind when looking through JR Woodward’s book, The Scandal of Leadership. He writes, “When we become Christians, our identity is not only as a son or daughter of God but also as a brother or sister to other believers. Our identity is therefore inextricably linked with other Christ-followers.” [i]We are linked not only in the ways we thrive, but in the ways we tarnish Jesus’ reputation. Woodward uses the passage in Philippians 2:5-11 to illustrate “The Scandal of imitating Christ.”[ii] This passage is one of my favorite passages in the Bible. I strive to be an imitator of Christ.
Why is it scandalous to imitate Christ? Woodward writes:
Suffering love and the positive use of power is reflected when our identity is formed by and compelled by God’s love, and when we identify with the poor and oppressed. The key to a faithful praxis of power is when our lives are characterized by a love affair with God and when his kingdom becomes a reality, especially for those the current system oppresses.[iii]
Jesus called us to love the poor and oppressed, to stand for them, to help them. The poor and oppressed in our modern age are not just those who live in poverty, they are the outcasts of society. I live in an area with a large LGBTQ+ population. Guerneville, just fifteen minutes from my house and the closest place with a grocery store, is known for this community. The local pub is the Rainbow Cattle Company.
I do not have an answer to the question of whether homosexuality is a sin. I believe it is, but I struggle with it. I know many who are devout followers of Christ who do not believe it is sin. I have not yet studied the topic in depth, though it is on my list. What I do know is that a person’s sexual orientation does not change God’s love for that person. So, it does not change my love. I choose to love my community, to imitate Christ as best as I can. I do not lead with “I am a pastor.” Instead, I lead with love.
[i] JR Woodward, The Scandal of Leadership: Unmasking the Powers of Domination in the Church. (Cody, WY: 100 Movements Publishing, 2023), 259.
[ii] Woodward, table of contents
[iii] JR Woodward, The Scandal of Leadership: Unmasking the Powers of Domination in the Church. (Cody, WY: 100 Movements Publishing, 2023), 286.
About the Author
Becca Hald
Becca is an ordained Foursquare minister, serving as the Online Community Pastor at Shepherd's House Church. She has over twenty-five years of leadership experience both inside and outside the church. Becca has served her community in many capacities ranging from Administrative Assistant and Children’s Ministry Director to Secretary and President of multiple school organizations. She and her husband, Andrew have been married for over 25 years. They have two adult children, Drew and Evelyn. Her great passion is to equip others, to raise awareness about mental health, and to help reduce the negative stigma surrounding mental health issues. In her free time, she loves going to Disneyland, reading, sewing, and making cards.5 responses to “Lead with Love”
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Hi Becca
Thank you for being a nice pastor. I think it communicates a lot when we are kind to people we have casual interactions. I think it is right and challenging to identify with those who are oppressed. It is a challenge for me to identify with lots of different people (I wish that wasn’t the case), yet I think that is the point of the Kingdom at work in my life. I find it challenging when people ask me, as a pastor, to have opinions on people as a whole (like LGBTQAI+). The scandal of leadership gives me more courage to say the things that I really feel in my heart, which is I have thoughts of love that only become meaningful when I am in an authentic relationship with someone that is different from myself. Until I’m willing to sit with someone different and hear their story, my opinions do not matter. All it takes is having a posture of being nice. Thank you for reminding me of that.
Thank you Chad. “Until I’m willing to sit with someone different and hear their story, my opinions do not matter.” This is so true. People do not care what you know until they know that you care.
Becca,
Ouch!: ” We are linked not only in the ways we thrive, but in the ways we tarnish Jesus’ reputation.”
I pray you continue to be a great witness of Christ’s love in your community.
Thank you Kristy. It grieves me when I see the Church tarnishing Jesus’ reputation. I hope to always be a positive influence for people.
Becca – I believe that since you have experienced suffering, you are uniquely equipped to understand and empathize with those who also suffer in our culture. Since your church body allows female pastors, have you ever encountered a female leader who was domineering? I am curious since Woodward focuses on men and didn’t seem to think there was much research on women leaders who struggle this way.