Just another good, sad story?
Kaffir Boy is Mark Mathabane’s autobiographical story of his growing up and coming of age under Apartheid in
Alexandra, South Africa. It doesn’t quite feel right to say this was a ‘good’ book or that I enjoyed reading it (in a similar way, that I didn’t enjoy watching Schindler’s list). But it is certainly a powerful story and a well written book.
And yet, I did struggle to make it through the book and I found it equally hard to know just what to do with the knowledge and information I gained as I read the book. One of the benefits of a great story is that it can teach us something about ourselves, about others and/or about the world. This is true even if the story isn’t.
But when the story we are learning from is true, the lessons learned can be both harder and more important. And there can be no doubt the the personal and cultural/societal lessons that Kaffir Boy has to teach us are critically important.
Even in our increasingly interconnected world, many of us live our lives almost completely in a sort of cultural bubble where, often, we are surrounded by people that are very homogenous to us. We work with and live next to and our kids go to school with people that look like us. We are often unaware of the harsh conditions that are the stark realities of life for children like Mathabane as they grow up. As we all know, knowledge is power, so in a very real way, this book is an important first step. Kaffir Boy, most certainly draws attention to the realities of what life under Apartheid was like – and through that lens, what systemic racism, oppression and injustice look like and how they affect people – especially young people. So, from that perspective, this book is incredibly helpful.
At the same time, I have come to believe that developing relationships with people in different social and cultural settings – and with different levels of power and influence is a critical step in engaging those with power and influence to address injustice and equality. And while we can often build ‘relationships’ of a sort with stories and the characters (or real people) in them, the relationships only rarely rise to the level of provoking action.
In Kaffir Boy, I was particularly struck by the brief section at the beginning of chapter 27 about Mark’s 10th birthday. He says this about his tenth birthday:
My tenth birthday came and went away, like all the other nine, uncelebrated. having never had a normal childhood, I didn’t miss birthdays; to me they were simply like other days; to be survived. Strangely, however, on each birthday I somehow got the feeling that I had aged more than a year. Suffering seemed to age me more than birthdays. Though I was only ten, black life seemed to have, all along, been teaching me the same lessons of survival, and making the same demands upon me for that survival, as it was doing to grown-ups. Thus, emotionally, I had aged far beyond my ten years. (Mathabane, 162)
Part of why this passage hit me so hard and was so difficult for me was, of course, that I have a 10 year old boy. And to compound that, I have spend a fair part of my week planning a birthday party (nothing fancy by our community standards – but of course exorbitant in another context) for our youngest. As we have gotten close to Henry’s party, he has grown more and more excited. The week has been spent with questions: ‘How many days till my party?; ‘Who is coming to my party?’; etc.
This stark contrast has hit me hard this week and I have been struck by deep feelings of guilt and privilege. But, Henry is still having his party on Saturday, I haven’t made any changes to my daily life or attempted to alter the daily life of those in this world who are currently suffering under similar injustices and oppression as that I have just read about.
All too often we mistake or we allow ourselves to mistake our feeling bad for the conviction towards action that we should be living into if we are truly following in the footsteps of Jesus Christ. As I leave this this book (and this semester) this is what I am struggling with – and what I ask you wrestle with as well: How can we lead in such a way that our stories lead to relationships that draw us into Holy action in Christ’s name: not content to simply feel bad about the injustice in the world or recognize our privilege but live out lives actively seeking justice, peace and freedom.
About the Author
Chip Stapleton
Follower of Jesus Christ. Husband to Traci. Dad to Charlie, Jack, Ian and Henry. Preacher of Sermons, eater of ice cream, supporter of Arsenal. I love to talk about what God is doing in the world & in and through us & create space and opportunity for others to use their gifts to serve God and God's people.6 responses to “Just another good, sad story?”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Chip,
The life you and your wife are sharing with your sons is an intervention that God provided. Mark didn’t have that as a child but in his latter youth, he did.
He focused on the pain that prepared him for his presence. We as parents need to help our children understand that there are many children who need someone to care about them. How? Take them to a shelter to volunteer. Serve the homeless on special holidays. We need to served in our community and also other communities to have an impact
You are a great and passionate father.
” As we all know, knowledge is power, so in a very real way, this book is an important first step.”
Thank you, Chip. It is hard for us spoiled Americans to know how to react when we hear sad stories.
I like what Lynda said about how we are in the place God has us. If He has blessed us then we can find ways to bless others.
We homeschooled our kids and they all had volunteer jobs at church and in a local nursing home. They also bought (with their own allowance) presents for the toy drive that the fire department put on at Christmas. It doesn’t seem like enough now, but if every Christian family did even one thing I wonder what a difference it would make?
Chip!!! What a powerful challenge you posed to us leaders. “All too often we mistake or we allow ourselves to mistake our feeling bad for the conviction towards action that we should be living into if we are truly following in the footsteps of Jesus Christ. As I leave this this book (and this semester) this is what I am struggling with – and what I ask you wrestle with as well: How can we lead in such a way that our stories lead to relationships that draw us into Holy action in Christ’s name: not content to simply feel bad about the injustice in the world or recognize our privilege but live out lives actively seeking justice, peace and freedom.”
This is so key! How do we move beyond just feeling something to doing something!!! Great post and challenge! I pray all of us take it on!
Hope you all had a great birthday party Chip! You pose some good questions on the back of reading the book, not dissimilar to the prophet Micah when he saw injustice and the abuse of power in his society:
What does the Lord require of us? To act justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with our God!
“How can we lead in such a way that our stories lead to relationships that draw us into Holy action in Christ’s name: not content to simply feel bad about the injustice in the world or recognize our privilege but live out lives actively seeking justice, peace and freedom.”
Oh gosh yes. This is the question I am wrestling with as well – what good does all of my learning do if I do not change and inspire change? Thank you for the challenge!
“How can we lead in such a way that our stories lead to relationships that draw us into Holy action in Christ’s name: not content to simply feel bad about the injustice in the world or recognize our privilege but live out lives actively seeking justice, peace and freedom.”
What a great (and uncomfortable) challenge, Chip. I’m going to need to chew on it for awhile. But I’d love to continue the conversation that you raise, in South Africa, and talk about some of the lifestyle decisions and actions we have (and haven’t) made to live lives of transformation in our neighborhoods.