Friedman… Take 2: Focusing on Take Five Within My Project
Have you ever wondered what makes that leader different? Why did they stand out among the world? What risks were they able to take than others around them and why? When reading his book for the second time I couldn’t help but compare everything my husband and I have gone through within starting our own ministry project within our home town. The theme throughout the entire process for the last two years has been if its going to have a catastrophic event, complete rejection, unexplainable madness, or anything else that wouldn’t work out in our favor… its going to happen in this project. Sometimes it may be one a day, and sometimes you may face them all within a few hours. Something that I have told my husband time and time again is that, “God must be doing something really big, because there is no way the enemy would attack us this much daily otherwise.” 
Friedman would tell you that there are 5 aspects of self-differentiation as a leader that would produce the results the those questions:
1. A Capacity to get outside the emotional climate of the day:
According to Friedman it’s an emotional phenomenon to be able to perceive things differently as well as impact it has on one’s functioning in art, science, and exploration. Knowing your own limits and those of the people around you is essential. The entire idea of the project we are working on came to me in a dream. I had the mechanics and aesthetics of the project completely worked out by the time I awoke. This dream though wouldn’t come to fruition if my husband was not on board with me every step of the way. Luckily after I entailed the entirety of the project has was just as excited as I was.
2. A Willingness to be exposed and vulnerable.
Insecurity about being unique is a fundamental factor that prevents the imagination from bearing fruit. That goes beyond simple insecurity. It’s the fear of being in a situation where you have to rely solely on your own resources to deal with whatever challenges arise, and when you have little to no support from others. Leaders need to not just be comfortable with, but even embrace, their authority. The project that we are working on not only has not been done before but our little town doesn’t have a restaurant, a coffee shop, or even a grocery store. What gives me the authority or audacity to think that what I create is actually going to work?
3. Persistence in the face of resistance and downright rejection.
It takes grit and determination to see a new endeavor through to fruition. But, no one has ever made meaningful progress toward your goal by simply working a forty-hour week, and no one has ever accomplished anything worthwhile while hiding behind negativity. The internal voice that says, “How can you have it right and everyone else be crazy?” is another challenge that leaders must overcome. My husband and I both have full time jobs, I run a 6 figure non-profit that I created, I am completing a doctoral degree like all of you, adding a new project on top of our four little kids seems just plain stupid if I am being honest. Grit and determination has been at the key… also we are living, eating and breathing productivity 24/7. Getting little sleep and managing tasks on a IS IT BLOWING UP YET list… A favorite question that I ask Ben, my husband is… “Are we dumb for doing this? We are really dumb right… This is Crazy!” He generally follows it by stating, “We are not crazy… we are just doing something no one has done before in our area and its hard Alana. It’s really hard.”
4. Stamina in the face of sabotage along the way.
Consistency while encountering obstructions… No good act goes unpunished; as the saying goes. The fact that those who initially share your passion for your purpose may eventually lose heart is a significant barrier to success. Colleagues whose spirit was destroyed by unanticipated challenges along the road were responsible for the mutiny and sabotage, not enemies who opposed the initial idea. To me this is about all about burnout. Both emotional and physical- It will be key towards this project that we are pouring into ourselves just as much as we are pouring into others so that we can continue to cycle of loving others as hard as we possibly can.
5. Being Headstrong and Ruthless
The quality of being viewed as “bold” and “ruthless” by those around you… can be taken multiple ways. If you are a male typically its the quality of leadership. I have found that by being bold as a woman I am sometimes defined as picky, hard to deal with, a jerk, or even too high of expectations. Within the job site that I have been talking about my husband can express the very same thing with the contractors and it’s simply taken as law. “Yes sir! Of course- we completely agree sir!” Insert an internal eye roll from me. These leaders that Friedman discusses did not let personal ties cloud their judgment.They didn’t take advantage of or manipulate people, but when cornered into a situation where they had to pick between continuing a relationship and giving up their ambitions, they chose the latter. When I say that some CRAZY things have happened… I really mean crazy. To name a few:
- Our building is from 1946 – and there are not anything on file within our city on commercial specifications and we had to create whole variances to make it happen.
- I drove over 48 hours in the car to all of the land owners (family trust) to make the purchase of the property. On the first 20 plus hour trip I got all the way home and the last individual refused to sign. We then had to change the contract and sign again.
- The first plan was to restore the current building that was there… turns out it was a floating building and it had to be torn down completely.
- Because it was an old building – we had to go through rigorous testing to make sure we wouldn’t harm ourselves. Even though we personally didn’t care and took a lot of precautions the state had other plans.
- I managed the project for 4.5 weeks overseas. That in itself was a huge undertaking.
- The new building was put up in the entire wrong color. I didn’t want to lose any traction so I left it as is.
- Even easy jobs like fence posts turned out to be a headache as we found an old abandoned septic system and had to rig a way for them to hold up to our wind without digging them into the ground like we usually do.
- The electricians “forgot” to pull all of the wires and ended up tearing out a lot of our ceiling that we had just paid to complete.
- Our countertops caught FIRE the day they were supposed to ship out. How. How does that happen?
Bold. Ruthless. Tenacious. Persistence. Stamina. These are all words that I would use to describe my husband and I starting something new…
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About the Author
Alana Hayes
Alana is a mother to four beautiful children and wife to a farmer in Texas. She is an avid world traveler with a heart for both the world and education. She is the president of the nonprofit Against the Grain Texas where they focus on providing education to children overseas and at risk adults in the states. To date the nonprofit has given almost $100,000 to individuals around the world. In her free time she loves spending meaningful time with people and reading to further her personal education.2 responses to “Friedman… Take 2: Focusing on Take Five Within My Project”
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Wow…so much to reflect on, shake my head, and cheer for! I love this quote: “A favorite question that I ask Ben, my husband is… “Are we dumb for doing this? We are really dumb right… This is Crazy!” He generally follows it by stating, “We are not crazy… we are just doing something no one has done before in our area and its hard Alana. It’s really hard.”’
You all are blazing a trail and believing something is possible for your community. It is difficult when you are thinking big and moving on a big dream and those around you are dreaming and thinking small. I love how you are supporting and encouraging each other. At the end of the day, that’s what it takes. You need each other more than ever to make this dream a reality. It is the kind of thing that transforms a community and, most importantly, your hearts because you know you can do hard things. Thank you for sharing the journey with us.
Alana,
Yes to this!! So key:
“Knowing your own limits and those of the people around you is essential.”
I need to go to my research after reading this:
“That goes beyond simple insecurity. It’s the fear of being in a situation where you have to rely solely on your own resources to deal with whatever challenges arise, and when you have little to no support from others.”
Thank you for sharing this (following quote) I have been told that I am “intense”…shoot (I am trying to learn but not apologize for who I am)
” I have found that by being bold as a woman I am sometimes defined as picky, hard to deal with, a jerk, or even too high of expectations.”
What a list of adversities you had to overcome! Thank you for sharing how tenacious you ‘all have been! I KNOW that your community will be blessed. I KNOW that this is your heart, your pounding heart! I pray that you and Ben continue to lean into Jesus and see how God will continue to make this BIG project HAPPEN in your precious little TOWN!!
I know that you have had to differentiate yourself along the way. I am glad you were able to read Friedman and get this insight from your reading.