You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know
Life is full of idioms! Phrases that aren’t intended to be taken literally but do have a specific meaning for the hearer. I highly doubt that any of us stop in mid-sentence or mid-thought to realize that we just used or heard an idiom that expresses ourselves. Comments like: “It’s time to go back to the drawing board”, “This is the straw the broke the camel’s back”, “Why are you so bent out of shape” or “Better late than never” are all idioms and each one conveys a specific message and are commonly understood. I find it interesting why we embrace the need to use idioms when there are often clearer ways of communicating the message. Instead of expressing the difficulty of something, we may say that we just made it by the skin of our teeth. This particular idiom finds its origin in Job 19:20 “My bones stick to my skin and to my flesh, and I have escaped by the skin of my teeth.” We have adopted many idioms from scripture that convey a clear message to the hearer, such as; going the extra mile, being a good Samaritan, or a fly in the ointment.[1] We seldom, if ever question where a particular idiom came from or how it got started. None the less, idioms are part of our daily communication.
Saturday, I did my NPO brain storming session around the question, “How do we get Christians past the dichotomy of secular and sacred into an understanding of embracing work as ministry?” As in my previous brain storming session, I chose a diverse group of individuals, spread across a spectrum of careers, ministry experience, cultures and Christian backgrounds. One of the exercises I used toward the end of the day – “The Blind Side” – is an exploration using idioms. The exercise process basically looks at blind spots by discussing what you know you know, what you know you don’t know, what you don’t know that you know, and what you don’t know that you don’t know.[2] As we worked through the process, I could sense a slight tension building within the participants. Many of my stakeholders had never taken the time to look at things through this type of lens. It became uncomfortable to dive into one’s blind spots; into areas about not knowing. As we drew the exercise to a close a young millennial entrepreneur spoke up and stated, “I guess the biggest thing we don’t know that we don’t know is how our lives and choices will truly impact those around us.” You could have heard a pin drop. Genius entered the room.
In Not Knowing by Steven D’Souza and Diana Renner they explain that today’s executives find themselves in a place where their experience is no longer useful. At this point they tend to turn inward toward their senses rather than knowledge. According to D’Souza and Renner, starting from a place of not knowing can lead to unlimited possibilities.[3] When it comes to the end game, we all want to measure the impact of our efforts. The idea of not truly knowing what impact we ‘ve had, is concerning. Can we ever have a full grasp of the impact of anything? Certain things may have a limited life span but influence lasts forever. Think of any influencer, famous or not, a family member, a friend, a mentor, the apostle Paul, Martin Luther, John Wesley, Einstein, Hitler, Martin Luther King, or Donald Trump; will the full impact of their influence, positive or negative, ever really be known? Maybe if leaders spent more time considering what they don’t know that they don’t know, we wouldn’t have to spend so much time mitigating the influential consequences of some of their bad choices. How have you, as a leader, considered not knowing what you don’t know when it comes to how it may influence others? Is it time to go back to the drawing board?
[1] https://improving-your-english.com/biblical-idioms/
[2] Dave Gray, Sunni Brown and James Macanufo, Game Storming: A Playbook for Innovators, Rulebreakers, and Changemakers, (Sebastopol: O’Reilly, 2010), 149
[3] Steven D’Souza and Diana Renner, Not Knowing: The Art of Turning Uncertainty into Opportunity, (London: LID Publishing, 2018), 156-57
About the Author
Greg Reich
Entrepreneur, Visiting Adjunct Professor, Arm Chair Theologian, Leadership/Life Coach, husband, father and grandfather. Jesus follower, part time preacher! Handy man, wood carver, carpenter and master of none. Outdoor enthusiast, fly fisherman, hunter and all around gun nut.8 responses to “You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know”
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That space of not knowing what we don’t know is such a hard space, because how can we know what we don’t know? Even writing that is perplexing to me. How do leaders move into that space, so we can know? Self-awareness? Learning all the things all the time? Constantly having people around us that are telling us what it is we don’t know that we don’t know?
In my parenting, I have learned so many things along the way. The consequences of me simply not knowing what I didn’t know are great. We are paying for that damage done to this day. But until we know, then we just don’t know. What role does God play in that process? We pray for wisdom and ask for discernment, yet still we can’t have all the wisdom or know all the things. Thus, I have learned to maintain a deep sense of humility and ask for forgiveness for not knowing better earlier. Maybe that is the lesson? A lesson in our finiteness, our limited capacity to know, and a willingness to be humble and seek forgiveness from others? I wonder what our nation would look like if those character traits were modeled on the national stage?
Darcy,
I agree! I personally think spending a ton of time trying to know what we don’t know can be counter productive. As I grow older I find myself looking at what I know and asking myself “How can I be more faithful with what I already know?” Though I have an unquenchable desire to learn I also find myself wondering how valuable knowledge is without it being applied to something.
I helped create an experiential learning evening for young men around Johari’s window. I can’t remember each activity, but we did a paper airplane distance competition (known to all), created a book safe (known to you; hidden to others), something to do with a blindfold (known to you; hidden to others), and I can’t remember the last one. How do you help others make the blind spot quadrant smaller?
Shawn,
Blind spots are an interesting thing. With new perspectives come new blind spots. In the coaching world the issue isn’t blindspots and much as it is seeing possibilities and choices. Each one of us is writing our own story. The questions we ask, the choices we make and our responses dictate the pages of that story. I actually spend very little time thinking about blind spots and a lot more time thinking about the legacy of my story that I leave behind in the lives of those I touch.
I’m having trouble wrapping my mind around what it is that I don’t know, that I don’t know. What sort of unknowing is eluding me? I don’t know what the point would be to pursue things that I don’t know, that I don’t know. Is that not a futile pursuit?
The other night a few of us were having a little time of prayer together in the sanctuary at the Mustard Seed. We each had the opportunity to share a little of our respective pains. What it is (or, that we perceive it is) that is causing us pain.
There was a meeting that I chose to miss on Monday for the reason that I knew being there would cause my body (the heart and mind parts) pain. When my body (heart and mind) feel uncomfortable in ‘the story’ as it may be playing out, at any given point in time, there’s a place within me (my soul) that yearns for relief. Whether that be for anguish, for the story, or in desiring for a scene change, our souls (I believe) are intended for life and to know life more abundantly (the intention and hope of our Saviour, Jesus).
Anyways, long story short, someone at your NPO brainstorming session mentioned “that we don’t know how our lives and choices will truly impact those around us.” I was thinking at our prayer meeting about something along that line. I hope, that if my presence causes another’s soul to anguish (as I have known mine to be with some kind of unbearable ferocity) or to be very uncomfortable for any reason, that we can talk about it. Because, we don’t know. The difference-maker is, do we ‘really’ care?
Chris,
I wonder at times if all the pursuit of intellectual knowledge will change anything. I have also considered whether a pursuit of knowledge will at the end of the day make a difference. At the end of the day all we have is what people remember about us. You are correct, the things people will remember is the compassion and love we show them.
I think there’s an adaptability that comes into play when we realize we don’t know what we don’t know. It opens an avenue for exploring new possibilities as we address our blind spots. There’s a sense of freedom that also accompanies it; the pressure of measuring up to a standard we thought was there dissipates. With that freedom to explore comes a freedom to be wrong, to be right, to be on the right track, to be on the wrong track, and to discover something we never imagined.
I can think of times when I was very intentional about decisions based on what kind of precedent I might be setting for a future successor. There have been other times when I know we made a choice that would be questioned in the future, but was absolutely right for that moment. You’re right, we will never know the full impact of our leadership, but that can’t stop us from doing the right thing for the time and circumstances we’re in.