Where Do I Find My Identity?
The Church has potential to be a breeding ground for domineering leadership. Open up your news app and you’re sure to see yet another story of a church leader’s downfall. But this is not just a current problem. According to J.R. Woodard, in his book, The Scandal of Leadership, it is a historical issue, as old as the church itself and will require more than just a psychological and sociological analysis. We will need to see it from a cosmic viewpoint.[1]
By “cosmic viewpoint” Woodard says we need to be able to unmask and engage the principalities and powers, that are always unhelpfully influencing and shaping us. Without examining these powers and principalities and how they influence us, deep transformation in individual leaders and in the culture of leadership in the church is impossible.[2]
Woodard looks to Jesus to show us how we might unmask the principalities and powers. Drawing on the story of Jesus’ baptism and the work of Henri Nouwen, Woodard writes, “At the start of Jesus’ ministry at his baptism he heard a voice from heaven saying, ‘This is my beloved. In him I am well-pleased.’ These words revealed the true identity of Jesus as the beloved. Jesus heard that voice and all his thoughts, words, actions came from his deep knowledge that he was infinitely loved by God. Jesus lived his life from that inner place of belovedness.”[3] Woodard continues saying, “Identifying as the beloved is an integral concept for leaders to absorb and embody so that our lives and leadership flow from a secure identity found in Christ.”[4]
To combat the principalities and powers Woodard looks to Philippians 2. In Philippian culture honor was of utmost importance. Some honor was just ascribed at birth and could not be taken away and some was earned honor.[5] Roman rulers claimed divine status and used their status to enhance their glory and honor. The Philippian social elites imitated Rome’s values in their own social world.[6] On the other hand, Jesus, who had true divine status, did not do this. Instead, he emptied himself becoming not just human but a slave, the lowest status in the Roman and Philippian world.[7] He was able to do this not just because he was God, but because his identity was “beloved.”
Identity
Where we find our identity is a core theme in this course. Simon Walker would have us become undefended, secured not by our skills and resources but by our attachment to Christ.[8] In her book Leadersmithing, Eve Poole stresses the need for character because it’s the very thing that will save us when everything else is stripped away.[9] And in Jules Glanzer’s book, The Sound of Leadership, he writes, “Who you are determines how you lead. How you lead flows from who you are.”[10]
Whiteness as Identity
Lately I’ve been wrestling with how as a person who wears white skin I have been taught and conditioned to put my identity in my whiteness. In his book, Not So Black and White, Kenan Malik writes, “race did not give birth to racism. Racism gave birth to race.”[11] He then goes on to explain the history of how this came to be, namely that the intellectuals and elites “began dividing the world into distinct races to explain and justify the differential treatment of certain peoples.”[12] In other words, it wasn’t skin color that divided people, it was one’s social class.[13]
In an article in the Guardian, author, Robert Baird writes, “Before the 17th century, people did not think of themselves as belonging to something called the white race. But once the idea was invented, it quickly began to reshape the modern world.”[14] Baird then gives an historical account of how if one was a Christian she could not be kept as a slave indefinitely but as Africans started getting baptized, slave owners changed the laws so that Christianity could not be grounds for seeking freedom. Baird continues, “No longer could religious identity separate the elites and their servants from enslaved Africans so they needed a screen of racial contempt. They would need to start thinking of themselves as white.”[15]
To use the language of the Philippians, “white” became the identity of honor. Americans (and others in our world) put their identity in their whiteness.
What to do about Whiteness
While Woodard was writing about leadership in the Church, I am using his wisdom to reflect on how I might steward my white privilege like Christ stewarded his privilege. I am curious about how my identity is wrapped up in my whiteness and how I might disentangle whiteness so that I can rely wholeheartedly on my identity as beloved in Christ. What does this look like in word and deed? How do I embody an identity in Christ rather than an identity in my whiteness?
Woodard suggests we practice emptying ourselves as Christ emptied himself.[16] This involves not just knowing the power of his resurrection but experiencing his sufferings. We must “die daily” as Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 15. We must die to the old ways of constructing our identity and live into our identity in Christ, or as Woodard says in a podcast, “We have to become a nobody in this system in order for God to make us a somebody in God’s system.”
As I think about dismantling my white privilege, I think it must become a daily practice of dying to the systems of this world that tell me that my whiteness should privilege me and make me superior trying to instead embrace humility and vulnerability. I’m still working on what this looks like in my daily life. Does it mean continuing to educate myself and others about racism? Does it mean lifting up voices of people of color? Does it mean making reparations? How do I experience Christ’s sufferings so that I might die daily to my white privilege and in doing so, become a more compassionate leader?
[1] J.R. Woodard, The Scandal of Leadership, 100 Movements Publishing, 2023, 55, (Scribd).
[2] Ibid, 59.
[3] Ibid, 155.
[4] Ibid.
[5] Ibid, 442.
[6] Ibid, 471.
[7] Ibid, 475.
[8] Simon Walker., Leading Out of Who You Are: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership, Carlisle: Piquant Editions, 200, 154.
[9] Eve Poole, Leadersmithing, Revealing the Trade Secrets of Leadership (London ; New York, NY: Bloomsbury Business, an imprint of Bloomsbury Publishing Plc, 2017), 55.
[10] Jules Glazner, The Sound of Leadership, Invite Press (2023), page 29 (Scribd).
[11] Kenan Malik, Not So Black and White; : A History of Race From White Supremacy to Identity Politics. London, Hurst, 2023, 14.
[12] Ibid, 8.
[13] Ibid, 9, 10.
[14] Robert Baird, The invention of whiteness: the long history of a dangerous idea, https://www.theguardian.com/news/2021/apr/20/the-invention-of-whiteness-long-history-dangerous-idea (accessed April 9, 2024).
[15] Ibid.
[16] J.R. Woodard, The Scandal of Leadership, 100 Movements Publishing, 2023, 475, (Scribd).
About the Author
Kally Elliott
Mom of four. Wanna-be Broadway star. PC(USA) pastor. Wife. Friend. Sometimes a hot mess. Sometimes somewhat together. Is this supposed to be a professional bio?9 responses to “Where Do I Find My Identity?”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
I love the direction you took this Kally. What an engaging post.
You concluded in a similar place I did with my post, and yet on such a different route…humility and vulnerability.
Humility is the key to just about everything, in my, um, humble, opinion. 🙂
You had some great ties to our previous readings that I had not thought of. I really liked this quote: “ …how I might disentangle whiteness so that I can rely wholeheartedly on my identity as beloved in Christ. What does this look like in word and deed? How do I embody an identity in Christ rather than an identity in my whiteness?” And I appreciate the questions you are using to challenge yourself in new ways. It’s an ongoing journey that we are all on.
I’ll just chime in to agree with what Jen said. I didn’t make the connection between Woodward and Malik, but I’m so glad you did, Kally. Thanks for taking us all a little farther down that path. Well done!
If you haven’t already, check out Adam Harris’ blog post. He widens the lens further to talk about how Christians in Germany used domineering leadership to justify their extermination of Jews in the holocaust. I find it interesting that Woodard’s book has implications for leadership on a micro level as well as leadership on a macro level.
Hi Kally,
You wrote, “I’m still working on what this looks like in my daily life. Does it mean continuing to educate myself and others about racism? Does it mean lifting up voices of people of color? Does it mean making reparations? How do I experience Christ’s sufferings so that I might die daily to my white privilege and in doing so, become a more compassionate leader?”
Wow, I so appreciate your thoughts here and yet a part of me wants to say…give yourself a break. Be sensitive to the questions, advocate for justice, but more importantly educate your flock on the biblical teachings of Christ. I think we have to let the Holy Spirit convict folk of their sin. You, in turn, do what you are called to do – Preach it!
Selah
Russ, I was asked to preach on dismantling white privilege this Sunday. I am using Woodard’s exegesis of Philippians 2. Dying to our identity in my whiteness, walking the path of love to the cross, letting God resurrect my identity to be in Christ. Dying daily as Woodard and Paul write. Or at least trying to die daily. Easier said than done.
Historical sins, historical wounds…at what point do we let go. When do the Germans get to stop being the “Auschwitz perpetrators.” I lived in Germany for about 15 years and the 30 somethings don’t connect with Nazism at all.
I know America has moved on from the only nuclear blasts on earth in Hiroshima and Nagasaki. But have the Japanese moved on? A friend of mine was visiting the Hiroshima memorial and an elderly woman spit on her.
Grandparents of my brother in law were in the Japanese concentration camps in California.
Armenia remembers the Turkish Genocide.
The list goes on.
Living over seas for 30 plus years I hear the about the historical wounds.
No forgiveness? Only revenge?
Come Lord Jesus, we have goofed up the world.
Selah.
Great posts Kally, first, way to weave that many of our readings into your posts! I appreciate the questions at the end, and the fact that you are asking them is a sign that you are already stewarding your privilege well. I think we all have some type of privilege in some form or fashion, but I like what you said about using it to serve others like Christ did as a Jewish male (patriarchy) Rabbi (education) with a mass following (political influence).
Fantastic post Kally,
wrestling with your white identity and finding daily practices to keep this something to continue to wrestle with is such a great idea. and hard!
I love when you quoted “Jesus heard that voice and all his thoughts, words, actions came from his deep knowledge that he was infinitely loved by God. Jesus lived his life from that inner place of belovedness.” If we are to be like Jesus, how great would our world be if we all entered each day with a deep knowing and understanding of ourselves as beloved!