What Was I Doing There?
“During Hurricane Katrina in the US, two photographs in particular made news amid the wide-spread havoc and destruction. In one photo, a dark-skinned young man is shown in New Orleans flood-waters, a 12-pack of Pepsi under his right arm, holding a garbage bag with his left hand. A caption read: ‘A young man walks through chest-deep flood water after looting a grocery store in New Orleans’. In the second photo, a light skinned woman, packages floating in tow, also navigates through New Orleans waters, a man trailing her. The caption: ‘Two residents wade through chest deep water after finding bread and soda at the local grocery store.’[1]
Unconscious Bias
In the Spring of 2022, I was traveling with a group to Greece and Turkey for fifteen days. We visited Athens, Phillipi, Corinth, Ephesus, Patmos, Mykonos, Santorini, Crete, Thessaloniki, Meteora (three Monasteries- Saint Stephen, Holy Trinity and Varlaam), and Delphi. It was the trip of a lifetime for me and the other twenty-five women with which I was traveling. On our return, we had an extended layover in Istanbul which afforded us an opportunity to do some additional shopping- the airport is incredible. We met an American couple from the great State of Alabama as we waited to board our flight. The seating area was cozy and lots of chattering about our trip and this couple’s trip filled the small space. The “good” Southern, mature “gentleman” from the great State of Alabama could not quite make peace with me being with this group of women that looked more like him than me. He was visibly unsettled. He asked a series of probing questions to a few of the ladies trying to make sense of my presence in this group. He was fascinated by our adventure but absolutely confused by me being on this trip with these good Christian Woman. He finally tired of beating around the bush and addressed me directly, he said in the thickest southern accent imaginable, “I’m trying to figure out what are you doing here.” I responded, without hesitation, “I’m trying to figure out the same about you.” The chattered quickly quieted and there were very few words spoken after that. It was a little tense. He had made up his mind about me the moment he saw me sitting with my group. He decided that I did not belong in any place outside of where he thought I belonged. In his mind, I was either someone’s paid assistant or a teacher on a school sponsored trip (he asked my travel companions all of these questions within ear shot of me). He thought that a Black woman with these women had to be a mistake or on a free trip. I had many stories about unconscious bias that I could have chosen to share, unfortunately I have been on the receiving end more times than I can count. Sway Unravelling Unconscious Bias helped me see that I have been guilty of it more times than I have admitted. I will admit that the moment I heard the “good” Southern, mature “gentleman” from the great State of Alabama’s voice, my guard immediately went up. Remnants remain from growing up in a divided South, and my unconscious biases rose to the top.
Sway Unravelling Unconscious Bias is the most important book for my research that I have read this year. I quickly added it to my Working Bibliography. It is well written, well researched, insightful, challenging and appropriately anecdotal. I was so interested in Dr. Pragya Agarwal work that I researched her other published works, spent some time on her website, and listened to her podcast. Dr. Agarwal’s podcast, Outside the Boxes How to Talk to Children about Race[2]-Episode 5 offers the opportunity to hear her explain, in her own words with personal examples, the importance of talking to children about race early and teaching them appreciate differences while also discussing some of the topics that she introduces in the book. If you are interested in hearing a different perspective on race from someone that is not American, I recommend you listen to Outside the Boxes podcast. As it is not possible to highlight all of topics discussed, here are some of the important topics that standout from both the podcast and the book:
- Discussing race is not promoting racism.
- Racism is not the creation of a an evil few but a systematic and structure problem.
- Children are not colorblind.
- Discussing race with children will make them feel more comfortable with their own uniqueness.
- Avoiding discussions about race can cause children to essentialize it.
- Children taught about discrimination have higher opinions of Black and Brown people than the children that only read about it.
- Race matters but it’s not the only thing that matters.
Hindsight Bias
“Hindsight bias affects our ability to learn from our experiences. When we believe that we already knew what was going to happen, we are likely to overestimate our abilities. We all tend to selectively recall information consistent with what we now know to be true as we try and impose, meaning on our knowledge”[3]
Returning to my story, I have thought a great deal about my own biases. One of my greatest fears is my own inability to recognize the areas in which I need to change and grow. Reading about hindsight bias sent me back to re-examine my interaction with the “good” Southern, mature “gentleman” from the great State of Alabama. I held certain unconscious biases before I was able to acknowledge why I tensed up when he first spoke, why I never turned my back on him and why I listened closely to his words. I did not want to be caught off guard. I remained ready for what he may send my way. In a foreign land, I was more anxious about this man’s presence than the armed police walking throughout Istanbul International Airport. Although he confirmed some of the biases that I held, what if he had been different? What if he had truly been kind and interested in my journey? I ask myself would I have been capable of seeing him differently? Could I have kept my unconscious biases at bay? I don’t really know the answer, but I do know that I am committed to being more aware, more honest with myself, and trying to do better. For now, that feels like progress.
[1] Pragya Agarwal, Sway: Unravelling Unconscious Bias (London, England: Bloomsbury Sigma, 2021), 39.
[2] I am providing a link to the podcast I mention above. There are five in total, I have not listed to the other four. https://www.podbean.com/ew/dir-rcgvu-6b05b63
[3] Pragya Agarwal, Sway: Unravelling Unconscious Bias (London, England: Bloomsbury Sigma, 2021), 195.
About the Author
Jonita Fair-Payton
14 responses to “What Was I Doing There?”
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Great post, you do a great job of weaving together your personal experience and the reading material. And thanks for pointing out Argawal’s podcast. I’m going to check it out.
Thank you, Kim. I think that the podcast will be insightful. I’d love to discuss it after you’ve had an opportunity to listen to it.
Hi Jonita,
You wrote,” Although he confirmed some of the biases that I held, what if he had been different? What if he had truly been kind and interested in my journey? I ask myself would I have been capable of seeing him differently? Could I have kept my unconscious biases at bay? I don’t really know the answer, but I do know that I am committed to being more aware, more honest with myself, and trying to do better. For now, that feels like progress.”
Ahh progress. You are a shaker and mover in “change.”
Watermark Community Church in Dallas, Texas is working on its Version three of their Re-engage program for couples.
In their section Introduction to Peacemaking, I share their three topics that may elude non believers.
Forgiveness, Making Amends and Reconciliation.
Stage 1 – Forgiveness – to give up all claim on account of a debt or obligation (between me and God), “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you” C.S. Lewis.
Stage 2 – Making Amends – reparation for payment for a loss, damage, or injury of any kind: to pay back (from me to you). “If possible, so far as depends on you, live peaceable with all” (Romans 12:18), “There are three dimensions to the peace that God offers to us through Christ; peace with God, peace with another, and peace within ourselves” Keven Sande, The Peacemaker.
Stage 3- Reconciliation – settle, resolve, bring to agreement (us together). “All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation…” (2Corinthians5:18) “Christian faith is…basically about love and being loved and reconciliation. These things are so important, they’re foundational and they can transform individuals and families” Philip Yancey.
While this is part of a couples study. I found some intersects that may help me in my unconscious biases.
Shalom….
Russell,
Thank you for sharing the three topics to promote peacemaking. I think that you are right. They are applicable to more than couples. Forgiveness, Making Amends and Reconciliation are important in any situation where there is a difference of opinion that escalates to the level of disagreement.
Jonita….thanks for this post. What I appreciate about it is both your honesty and humility. It is easy for me to envision the ways you have been on the receiving end of implicit and explicit bias…and I am sorry that you have had to experience those things. Naming them is honest. But you also have the humility to recognize that you can be a perpetrator of bias yourself. As such, you demonstrate a healthy balance that, at times, I feel is missing in these sorts of conversations–including conversations about intersectionality, which often categorizes people overly-simplistically as ‘perpetrator’ or ‘victim’. The truth is, at least from my perspective, is that we are all both….of course to varying (and sometimes radically varying) degrees. That’s not a statement to diminish the discrepancy of bias that some experience (“we all experience bias so we’re all the same”)….but what that statement does (and it’s what you did in your post, at least from my perspective), is create a space for others to feel safe enough to dialogue with you. While you may have experienced much more bias and prejudice than some, you do not take the position of the ‘morally right’ who is unable to see how they also contribute to the brokenness of our world. Not sure I’m articulating myself particularly well…but I guess what I am trying to say is: you don’t diminish your experience of bias nor do you diminish your participation in the problem….and that invites connection, which hopefully leads to better mutual understanding. It’s a hospitable posture that isn’t always communicated by others who are on the margins or experience bias/prejudice in real ways. Thank you.
Scott, thank you for this response. I am trying to take an honest look at myself and my areas of growth. I can’t ask anyone else to do something that I am not willing to do. I started this program committed to finding a way to reach White Religious Leaders and help them see areas of growth through an honest lens. I am learning so much from the reading and the discussions. What I know for sure is the journey forward will only work if both sides are taking an honest look at themselves and making a true commitment to do better. I am still idealist enough to believe that it can happen.
Jonita,
I must say, I felt anger as I read your interaction so I can’t imagine what you felt. It again shows how much blatant racism still abides all around us. However, what impressed me was how you ended your post by bringing it back to your own self-awareness around biases.
Many years ago, before the world had become as global as it is now, a missionary stood on stage before our General Council of churches (about 10,000 pastoral leaders in attendance) in a black burka and asked what thoughts ran through our minds when we saw her. She asked, “Did you see me as a woman?” “As a wife and mom with children?” “Or did you see me as a terrorist?” “As one of ‘them’?”
I had to admit that I had seen her as ‘one of them’. There was much repentance that followed in the room.
Thanks again for sharing from your own experience.
Esther,
Thank you for sharing your story. It is not easy to take a look at ourselves and be honest about what we see. I appreciate that you were able to admit your unconscious biases. I know how difficult that is. I am doing the same thing, and it is hard.
Oh that darn “turning the other cheek” concept. How hard it is to recognize our own implicit bias when it get’s confirmed over and over again. I think Pragya mentions in the book how important it is to encounter each one we meet as a person and not a “group”. I wonder if this is the key? We assume the best in the other human but I think there is also wisdom in “being on guard”. I often talk to my colleagues on how important it is to be an explorer and not a detective. If we think we know what is going on we tend to find evidence to support our thinking, instead of observing and exploring what may be different?
Yes…I love that part! Meeting each other as a person and not a group will change the world. I am also really moved by your approach of being an explorer and not a detective. Brilliant!!! I shared it with my kids.
Jonita, Your experience in the Istanbul airport is truly mind-boggling to me. I appreciate how you thoughtfully unpacked that situation. I have heard some pretty outrageously biased words spoken aloud by guests to the countries I lived in and wanted to ask them the same question you did. How could I or any of your friends been an ally to you in that situation?
It’s so hard to know what to say in situations like that. I know how delicate it is to insert yourself in a situation like that. My friends chose to ignore him and talk exclusively to me. It was their way to showing support to me. It was the best that they could do. What they did not do is ask me if I was okay. They did not circle back and ask if I felt safe. I think, as a friend/ally you need to make sure the person is okay and feels safe. I think had he continued they may have spoken up but they felt like I had handled him well. I am usually prepared to stand up for myself but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want my friends to stand with me. So…ask the questions:
Are you okay?
Do you feel safe?
How can I support you?
Jenny…Thank you for asking!
Hi Jonita!
I like your posts which contain balanced stories and analysis. The story you tell is very interesting. You wrote, “I asked myself would I have been capable of seeing him differently? Could I have kept my unconscious biases at bay?”
What should we do as Christians to be aware of our unconscious biases and see others more clearly? Does eliminating bias from within us mean leaving ourselves open to all the possibilities that people can do to us?
Hi Dinka,
I think we have to listen to other people’s story and their journey. When listening, truly listening we can become aware of their struggles without placing our own beliefs on them or trying to interpret what they are sharing to fit our own beliefs. I don’t know that we will ever truly eliminate biases but the key is to be aware of them and name them and be open to doing a better job at understanding them.