What is your Identity?
Identity is defined as “the distinguishing character or personality of an individual”(1) I read it a couple of times so that I could let it sink in. I then tried to find a single, only one, distinguishing character that makes me ‘me”! I could not. I am so many things, a beautiful and complex combination of many imperfect things. I could not find “the (one) distinguishing character.” I have been asked many times, “How do you Identify’? I am never quite sure how to answer that. Do I respond with my pronoun? Do I share my sexual orientation? Do I share my racial composition? Do I share my marital status? Do I share my Religious Beliefs? Do I share my Political Party? Do I share them all? If so, it would go a little something like this- I identify as an African- American Married, Christian, Sis-Gender, Liberal Mother that uses She/Her Pronouns (and for added entertainment) …my favorite color is yellow, I’m a Taurus, I am a Non-Smoker, I am a Dog Mom, and I am a Tacoholic. The challenge is deciding what to include, there are so many things that make me “me “and they are not all positive. In case you did not notice that I conveniently left those out. I believe we all want to be seen as interesting, so we naturally lean towards words that support this perception. Beyond how we self-identify, there are affiliations both personal and professional that connect us to others. These affiliations also impact how others identify us. Economics, race, and class are significant factors when these affiliations are political.
Fukuyama addresses the behavior and motivation associated with Identity Politics. “Before we can understand contemporary identity politics, we need to step back and develop a deeper and richer understanding of human motivation and behavior.”(2) It is the motivation, the reason we choose certain affiliations that is worth exploring. He continues, “Contemporary identity politics is driven by the quest for equal recognition by groups that have been marginalized by their societies.”(3) Identity politics while it unifies in one sense it also is the great separator in today’s society. Politics is the great divider. When the motivation is money, power and position, there is always a danger of separation based on race and class.
I was recently watching a movie and the character was complaining about society’s need to reward everyone. His claim was that not everyone deserves everything. That there are some things that are reserved for people that earn it or deserve it. He believed that not everyone is equal so they should not be treated the same way or rewarded the same. It was also his belief that that this has been perpetuated by youth sport leagues and elementary schools that support rewarding effort alone and not high achievement. And he is not alone in this belief. I have watched parents be very vocal about the “everyone gets a trophy” sports leagues. It can get ugly when you believe that you deserve something and some else is equally rewarded or rewarded over you. Fukuyama writes, “Recognition of everyone’s equal worth means a failure to recognize the worth of people who are actually superior in some sense.”(4) For those that seek superiority and recognition, affiliation with organizations (political and personal) will be based on supporting this mindset. “While a certain group of humans always want to be seen as superior, a powerful feeling of resentment arises when one is disrespected.”(5) This idea of being superior means that a person or people will be seen as inferior. You cannot have superiority with without inferiority. So where does that leave those that do not have power, privilege, and position?
I thought that it was interesting that Fukuyama included a section of the Declaration of Independence. The question of who is included in “all men” has been debated and has often been an issue for me. Honestly, I always felt that it excluded women, people of color and most assuredly women of color. What I had not realized is that it also excluded white men that were not landowners. Fukuyama writes, “In democratic societies we assert`, with the American Declaration of Independence, that “all men are created equal.” Yet historically, we have disagreed on who qualifies as “all men.”(6) At the time of the declaration was signed, this circle did not include white men without property, black slaves, indigenous Americans, or women.” Race and class continue to be dividing factors which have roots at the very origin of the United States governing documents. This leaves me longing for a world where we are all seen as equal. I know that sounds naïve but what would it look like if we all saw each other as children of God, if we saw our neighbors the way God sees them. What if, when asked how we identify ourselves, we all responded one way. I identify as a Child of God! How different would our world be?
1.https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/identity, accessed 10/7/23
2.Francis Fukuyama, Identity: The Demand For Dignity And The Politics Of Resentment (New York, N.Y: Picador, 2019), 11.
3.Ibid., 22.
4.Ibid., 23.
5.Ibid., 21.
6.Ibid., 23.
About the Author
Jonita Fair-Payton
12 responses to “What is your Identity?”
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Jonita,
It is interesting how we identify more equally when we think of each other as children of God. Last year, I went through a coach training program with Dr. Shirzad Charmine. When training on empathy, he had each of us find a picture of ourselves as a child and we took time to truly reflect on ourselves as a child, looking into the eyes of the little girl in the picture…a girl with wonder, innocence, and a future yet untapped. For some, it was traumatic. For me, it caused me to see myself differently and realized that God views me in that innocent state and desires health and wholeness for me. He is in it with me for the long haul. I also starting viewing others differently. In one case, I was very frustrated with someone but as I thought of them as a child, it changed my perception. What circumstances had they faced that shaped and formed them to this point? How does God see them? How can I understand and yet not enable?
Esther,
I love this statement, “he is in it with me for the long haul’! What a beautiful realization! It so true, God was with us in the beginning of life and has never and will never leave us. Praise God!
Hi Jonita,
Well said! Our identity as a child of God changes everything. We can identify ourselves in so many ways but the most important identifier is the one we forget the easiest. What helps you hold onto that image of being God’s child for yourself and others? See you soon!
Jenny,
I agree, it’s a gamechanger when we see each other as siblings, children of God. It is not always easy to see things through this lens, situations and people can make it difficult at times. What I continue to say to myself is, “I will never look into the eyes of someone that God does not love!” It is powerful and true.
Your whole post is excellent, but the first paragraph is the part that brought out a surprising, visceral reaction in me. I loved your self-description (tacoholic – yes!), but the very fact that we are asked to put all these labels on ourselves seems so wrong to me. So here I am, sitting with my resistance to this idea and trying to dig into what makes me uncomfortable. This line of thought took me back to something Erin Meyer said in The Culture Map, describing the cultural difference between direct and indirect communication. In a direct culture, the onus of understanding rests with the speaker. However in an indirect culture, good communication is, at least in part, measured by how well the listener “catches” the message. As someone who was raised in a direct culture and now lives in an indirect culture, I can testify that indirect communication is hard work!
Here’s the connection to your identity question: When someone asks me to reduce myself to these labels, it almost feels like they aren’t willing to do the hard work of getting to know me. They’re asking me to provide all the labels directly and upfront instead of walking with me and being part of my story. I think you’re hinting at a similar feeling when you talk about being a beautiful and complex combination of imperfect things. And so I echo the conclusion of your post: What if we stopped identifying people by all the labels and saw them (and ourselves) through God’s eyes?
I love this line of thinking…what if we started from a place of assuming everyone’s status as image bearers, AND our responsibility was not to tell others about ourselves, but to learn more about “the other”?
What a contagious movement! Thanks for the dialogue!
Jennifer,
Whoa!!! What if we were all seekers, looking for true connection points as children of God. What a powerful movement that would be!
Kim,
Oh I love this, “When someone asks me to reduce myself to these labels, it almost feels like they aren’t willing to do the hard work of getting to know me. They’re asking me to provide all the labels directly and upfront instead of walking with me and being part of my story. ” You put it so well. It’s true, they are asking to be let off the hook from taking the time to get to know us. Thank you for your thoughtful response.
I was talking with Todd and sadly he and I (and you) were not included in the “We the People” sentence of the Declaration of Independence. Praise God that Abraham Lincoln used, “that all men are created equal” in his arguments leading up to the civil war. Sadly I don’t think he considered me (Chinese) human.
The legislative act comes to mind….
The Chinese Exclusion Act was a United States federal law signed by President Chester A. Arthur on May 6, 1882, prohibiting all immigration of Chinese laborers for 10 years. The law made exceptions for merchants, teachers, students, travelers, and diplomats.[1] The Chinese Exclusion Act was the first and only major U.S. law ever implemented to prevent all members of a specific national group from immigrating to the United States.
Happy by 1959, I was considered a human and could actually be a U.S. Citizen (although my birth certificate says Territory of Hawaii).
My identity has changed…husband…father…missionary…(reformed workaholic)…gardener…U.S. Vet….the list goes on.
How do I identify, today I am “Husband and Father.” In America I can be something else tomorrow.
Shalom…
I love the that you acknowledge how our identities change or expand over time. We are not just one thing!
I am grateful to have the opportunity to share this time with you in this season.
Tacoholic. . . what is your favorite kind of taco? Fish taco? El Pastor? Yummy!
I too long for the day when every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, identifying as a Child of the King.
I love all types tacos…I haven’t met a taco that I didn’t love.
I pray that we both see the day where we can meet as brothers and sisters without any other labels.