Unrelenting yet so Familiar!
I am terrified at the moral apathy, the death of the heart, which is happening in my country. These people have deluded themselves for so long that they really don’t think I’m human. And I base this on their conduct, not on what they say. And this means that they have become moral monsters in themselves.
~James Baldwin, 1963
This Election
Perhaps writing this blog before Tuesday (Election Day 2024) would have yielded a different type of post. But that did not happen, and I am delivering what is at the forefront of my heart. To attempt to do anything other than that would be futile and would not produce anything of substance. It would also be disingenuous. My heart is broken by the vote cast by most Americans voted in this election. My perception of what it all means is a devastating reality about how this country feels about Black women. My perception is that the fear that the majority of White America has of becoming a minority has determined their choice. This, for me, is not about any one single issue. For me, this is about, racism and capitalism. Like it has always been. So, the thought of reading another book, or listening to another podcast, or having another conversation/debate is about as appealing to me as pulling off my fingernails, one by one. I am tired, really tired of hoping, working, praying for something to change, for love and goodness to prevail and being disappointed by the outcome.
Jame Baldwin speaks of moral apathy which I define as is a lack of motivation to act in important situations. What is so disturbing is that there is such a disconnect in this country regarding what the critical issues are. We are living in times where money, wealth, power, control are seen by many as the most critical issues and have been proven motivating factors in the decisions made. But what about the needy, the poor, the disenfranchised, the voiceless, the powerless, the minority…aren’t their issues, our issues important. This great disconnect has, in the words of James Baldwin, created moral monsters. The most frightening reality is that these “moral monsters” hide behind the flag and the Bible to justify their moral decay.
Racism
Honestly, it is difficult for me to write about something that I experience so often. I grew up in the South and I have learned to navigate racist systems and attitudes. It is a learned skill that we (Larry and I) have taught our children. Racism and Racist acts are heightened in this political climate. To put it in perspective, the children of three of my friends received this text the day after the election
Yes, they were all Black children that received this and they do not know each other. They attend different schools and live in different states. This is the America that we live in.
Colonialism
I watched a reel yesterday where someone (a prominent white businessman) was explaining (to an Asian male podcaster) why they voted the way that they did, and his response was that the shrinking of the white race was his sole reason. He went on to say that “we (white people) are only trying to protect the country we built”. The podcaster responded by reminding him that Black, Native American, and Asian people actually built this country. To that, the white businessman responded, “Do you think they could have done that without our direction? This is our (white people’s) country and we have to protect it!”
I can’t think of a better explanation of colonialism. Occupying a land and gaining full control politically and economically, exploiting the people and the resources is colonialism. Colonizers hold a belief that they have the right to take, destroy, and exploit whenever and wherever they see fit. I do not believe that it is possible to do this without feeling that you are superior to others and entitled to do as you please. Colonializes do not fear consequences because they have not had to face them.
My Heart
I weep for us. I weep for who we have become. I weep for the world that our children and grandchildren are inheriting. I weep for my sisters that are still fighting so hard, every day. I weep for those that refuse to see. I weep for those of us that still believe that there is hope. I weep for how we will navigate this divided space that we live in. I weep for us as we desperately reach for safe spaces.
I try to end all my posts with a message of hope, a passage or sentiment that will keep us lifted. I don’t have that for you today. Today I feel wounded and disappointed, feelings that are unrelenting and so familiar. America made a heartbreaking choice that it may take 40 years to rectify. That choice may have been motivated by greed, economics, power, fear of replacement, racism, sexism, stupidity, religion, or all of thee above. We may never understand how and why this happened. America chose a man with 34 felony counts, 1 conviction, 2 pending cases, 2 impeachment, 6 bankruptcies over an educated, Black woman that has dedicated her life to justice. As a Black woman I cannot help but see this as a clear message about how this country feels about me, my daughters, my sisters, all Black women. And I am pissed but not surprised.
The most disrespected person in America is the Black Woman. The most unprotected person in America is the Black Woman. The most neglected person in America is the Black Woman.
~Malcolm X 1962
About the Author
Jonita Fair-Payton
4 responses to “Unrelenting yet so Familiar!”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Dearest Jonita,
I hear you. I see you. I weep with you and I feel your disappointment. I wish I was there to give you a hug!
Thank you, Jenny. I appreciate your willingness to see and hear me.
Jonita,
I am truly horrified as I read the text and so sad for how this still exists today. I can feel your pain and lament throughout this post but I know I will never understand the depths of the hurt. Praying for you as you grieve. Praying for our nation.
Esther,
Thank you for your prayers. I appreciate you.