Under Pressure: Well boundried, structured and dispassionate
This week is an amazing in having all the most frustrating parts of myself exposed on the page. Except, it wasn’t exposed on a page for me…it was burrowed into my ear. Let me explain. I have been managing the books for this class as I go, and my “procrastination” had always worked out. Either Amazon came through, or George Fox Library where I happen to show up to every Monday at 5 for my son’s saxophone lessons, or my public library…which I am not locked out of because I can’t remember my password! Well, all of this scramble and pressure filled searches finally found me out this week. Perhaps I was focused on the huge spring break trip I took with my husband and 3 whining sons, or perhaps, I had all of my prefrontal cortex energy on my other class in this Doctorate finishing my other responsibilities. I could not find the book in time…procrastination found me and then perhaps it was the universe giving me a little slap awake. The answer for me finally came in using my husband’s library card and finding this book on audio. It was a refreshing way to hear information this semester, but now I had a new problem, how was I going to find quotes and even more troubling is how would I cite these words?
In my listening, I found the chapter that really gave me insight and drew connections of this semester. It was chapter 6, or scene 6, “Getting Past a Roadblock”. There seems to be 2 lessons I have learned specifically from this chapter that will help me move forward into the coming years in my learning as well as in my career. In the audio book, the narrator tells the story through the eyes and experiences of Emily and Tom. In Scene 6, “getting past a roadblock”, the scene starts with Emily being confronted at work with hundreds of emails and presentation proposals due by end of day. The author did a great job walking through what was going through her mind as the anxiety and pressure of the day filled her first minutes in the office and her mis-prioritizing her emails and getting lost in responding to these. As a mom, supervisor and Chaplain and leader, I often feel as if I start my days the same way…lost in what seems to be calling me to the present moment. I love the present moment, it’s what we have all have, period. I preach this daily to my dying patients and their families, but this book has opened my eyes to the growth edge of this strength and truth, being lost in the present moment is what it is, but I have control over how I establish my present moments in a productive way and with intention. Rock has given me 2 gifts: how to organize and use my brain to my advantage, and how to extend grace to myself, and the secret gift is that I can utilize both to address suffering and to find Joy.
In scene 6, I learned that procrastination isn’t bad, but I can structure procrastination to my advantage, as I have always found writing or doing tasks, especially one’s I’m not as excited over can be best done when I’ve waiting to the last moment. “Emily can bring ideas to her stage with less effort if she writes when a deadline is close and her writing seems to expand to fill the time available”.[1] I have always done my best work when I am up against a deadline, and this doctorate is no different, however, I now have the maturity to know that this style has consequences beyond me when it comes to others. No one writes alone I guess I would say? I have a lot of confidence in my intelligence and even as a critical thinker and student, but I struggle with writing in general. This semester has been a great revealing at how rusty I truly am and how procrastination is not always a gift. In my syntopical essay thus far I have good content and still very happy with my chosen topic, but I am a horrible writer with grammar, with Turabian and with academic voice. I write like I speak and that is not going to work for me, and it means my poor project faculty member has a lot of work, and I owe him a coffee or more in Oxford! Whew!
Scene 6 gave me a great guideline as I head into years 2 and 3. “Schedule work, clear mind, 1 idea at a time, reduce external distractions and veto internal distractions”.[2] It is the work in the last guideline, veto internal distractions, that I find a close connection to what we have learned in previous books as well as in my work. As I continue to research suffering, hope and death I have embraced a concept I plan to use to help healthcare workers sit present to suffering and have the courage to talk about it, even when our culture says or our internal voice says don’t. Rock speaks to being aware of our own internal voice and veto when it is sabotaging ourselves. I have read an exerpt from How can I Help? Stories and Reflections on Service by Ram Dass and Paul Gorman. In the chapter labeled Suffering, Dass and Gorman write about the “Dispassionate Witness: It is a self-witnessing that notices how our reactions might be perpetuating denial or fear or tension in the situation, the very qualities we would like to alleviate in others. The Witness catches us in the act, but gently, without reproach, so we can simply acknowledge our reactivity and begin to let it fall away, allowing our natural compassion to come more into play”.[3]
I am unsure of where this is in the book, but I leave you with this blessing moving forward with compassion and respect for our brains. “May your cortisol levels stay low, your dopamine levels high, your oxytocin run thick and rich, your serotonin build to a lovely plateau, and your ability to watch your brain at work keep you fascinated until your last breath. I wish you well on your journey.” [4]
[1] Rock, David. Your Brain at Work: Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long. NY: HarperCollins, 2020. (audio book Scene 6).
[2] Rock, David. Your Brain at Work: Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long. NY: HarperCollins, 2020. (audio book Scene 6).
[3] Dass, Ram and Gorman, Paul. How Can I Help?: Stories and Reflections on Service. (NY:Alfred A. Knopf, 2010) pg.68.
[4] Rock, David. Your Brain at Work: Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long. NY: HarperCollins, 2020.
About the Author
Jana Dluehosh
Jana serves as a Spiritual Care Supervisor for Signature Hospice in Portland, OR. She chairs the corporate Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Belonging committee as well as presents and consults with chronically ill patients on addressing Quality of Life versus and alongside Medical treatment. She has trained as a World Religions and Enneagram Spiritual Director through an Anam Cara apprenticeship through the Sacred Art of Living center in Bend, OR. Jana utilizes a Celtic Spirituality approach toward life as a way to find common ground with diverse populations and faith traditions. She has mentored nursing students for several years at the University of Portland in a class called Theological Perspectives on Suffering and Death, and has taught in the Graduate Counseling program at Portland Seminary in the Trauma Certificate program on Grief.8 responses to “Under Pressure: Well boundried, structured and dispassionate”
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You wrote… I am a horrible writer with grammar, with Turabian and with academic voice. I write like I speak.
I am with you in all these things. I have purposefully moved away from writing like an academic so that I can communicate! However, that may not work for these classes. It is only here in the blogposts that I believe we can get away with “I.”
Or so I thought. I was very surprised to see that Dr. Clark gave us permission to speak from the “I” point of view – pages 46-48 of his dissertation.
Hip Hip Hooray.
You wrote…Scene 6 gave me a great guideline as I head into years 2 and 3. “Schedule work, clear mind, 1 idea at a time, reduce external distractions and veto internal distractions”.
Today, I tried making prioritizing a priority. It did keep me focused and bam, the sun came up, the birds were singing and I was outside gardening. Sigh so much focus.
Good post…Shalom…Russ (p.s. no one should have no responses).
Russ, thanks for your response. I wrote my blog late so I didn’t take not getting responses personally, but I agree, even the late ones need to know someone read them. Thanks Russ.
I’m no good at all that Turabialn stuff either. In fact, the referencing and footnoting and syntax, etc. takes me longer than the actual study and writing.
Nevertheless, you have important things to contribute. Be yourself. Fix whatever is necessary for “academics” as you go, but don’t pull back from the contribution to the world that you make as Jana. it’s more important than you can ever imagine.
I hope your break was awesome. Glad you got to see my little part of the world!
Tim, thank you for your encouragement as always. I am actually feeling beyond the “imposter syndrome”piece of all this, though I am sure it will rear its ugly head again. I just want to keep myself in check with what it is I need to “prioritize” thank you very much David Rock:). I work so well underpressure, example me responding to blogs on a Sunday evening:). What I am very aware of with my area’s of weakness or growth is that it affects other people. I hate feeling like our faculty mentor has to do so much tedious work editing my papers!
We’ll get it, right? 2 more years to work on it?
I too, write like I speak. I am finding my Topical Expertise Essay, which, yes, I am still working on, is so so so boring because I am trying not to write as I speak – not that my speaking is all that exciting – it’s just that my non-speaking writing voice is deathly boring.
I have found that with writing I cannot wait until the last minute to get it done. If I do wait until the last minute either I have a major mental block and/or my writing is terrible. I need to write a “shitty first draft” as Anne Lamont says and then write several more shitty drafts before the mediocre finished product. This takes tons of time that right now, I just don’t have.
I have taken some of what Rock has suggested in the book and turned my phone mostly off when I am doing research. This has helped with some of my distraction. Like you, I often find myself overwhelmed as I sit down to my computer – lost to all the present needs coming at me.
I have a lot of growing to do.
I agree with you Kally, I just have to work through several “shitty” first drafts. I think realizing that this is something we will continue to edit and finesse releases me of all the worry of the writing. I’ll get there, and in the end, I’m not really going to be a “writer” with the things I want to do. So just one of those necessary steps of growing up and getting advance degrees…right?
“As I continue to research suffering, hope and death I have embraced a concept I plan to use to help healthcare workers sit present to suffering and have the courage to talk about it, even when our culture says or our internal voice says don’t.”
Jana, would you mind sharing a little of that concept with me please?
Todd! This is my whole NPO actually. I encounter so many people who are facing a terminal illness not prepared and confused and lost in our healthcare system. It seems to me that if a doctor can courageously ask questions about each patients Goals of care and do it as slowly and with as much individual attention as necessary. Most people only hear a portion of what is said. What if the nurse could come in and continue that courageous conversation, and then the CNA, and so forth. I think everyone hopes someone else will do the tough conversation, or they are more comfortable in dealing with only what is in front of them such as symptoms, treatment and so forth. Which is necessary, but we also need the bigger picture of our goals of care, because that makes a difference in what decisions we make now. Does the make sense?