Truth Matters and So Does Love
“Why do I need to wear those?” I protested to my dad. I was about six years old, and he insisted I wear white tights before church. His reasoning? “They’ll help keep you warm in the subzero temperatures,” I remember scoffing—did he really think that thin layer of nylon would make a difference? Even then, his answer didn’t satisfy me. It was not a good enough answer to my “why.”
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been driven to understand the “why” behind what I do or believe. When it comes to modern ideologies, I find myself asking: What is the “why” behind this belief? Does it align with the Truth of Scripture? What are the implications for others’ perspectives? What is the most loving and fruitful way to pursue this goal?
Each ideology and belief must be carefully filtered through Scripture. I deeply value the dignity of marginalized groups, human rights, equity, and environmental stewardship. Personal experiences of discrimination shape these convictions due to my gender, race, or nationality. Perhaps more impactful has been observing and defending against injustice toward others. I also have learned to appreciate the depth and wisdom of traditional, community-centered cultures. This has been influenced by my conservative upbringing and living among a traditionally nomadic, Islamic society.
My convictions are rooted in a Biblical worldview. All ideologies, social, political, spiritual, or cultural, must be filtered through Scripture. What does the Bible say about the principle at hand? What about the methods used to pursue it? How do my beliefs and convictions affect the people on the “other” who may disagree or experience it differently?
It often feels like society demands that we choose sides: progressive or traditionalist, feminist or patriarchal, liberal or conservative. I believe we are each on a journey that is shaped by culture, growth, experience, and, for Christians, the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Through dialogue, feedback, and Scripture-centered reflection, I often find elements of truth on both “sides.” I want to remain a lifelong learner, engage in dialogue, and be willing to learn from people on all sides.
Beliefs Confirmed: Emotional Reaction Over Truth and Reason
In The Parasitic Mind: How Infectious Ideas Are Killing Common Sense, Dr. Gad Saad confirmed my beliefs that society has increasingly prioritized reactive emotions over critical thinking and reason. In his introduction, Saad describes “parasitic pathogens of the human mind” as belief systems and attitudes that “parasitize one’s ability to think properly.”[1]He argues that modern universities, once committed to cultivating critical thought, now “coddle” students’ emotions.[2] In postmodernism, objective truth is rejected, and self-identity takes precedence over logic or shared facts. Saad believes that intellectual diversity is being replaced by political correctness.[3] He calls on readers to use reason, speak out, and defend core values. I agree we need to think critically, pursue truth, and protect our ability to reason.
As a Christian, I believe this ultimately points to the Truth that sets people free—Jesus Christ, who called himself the Way, the Truth, and the Life.[4] In Ephesians, Paul exhorts believers to grow in maturity, resist deceptive teachings, and “speak the truth in love.”[5] This is where Saad and I disagree. While we may agree on the importance of truth and reason, I believe truth must be communicated with love. Christians are called to engage minds and hearts—to think deeply, speak boldly, and love unconditionally.
Beliefs Challenged: Truth Without Love
What challenged me in Saad’s book was not what he said, but how he said it. His strong, often harsh language left little room for nuance or compassion. Paul Leslie, in a review of the book, notes that Saad encourages the “unfettered use of our intelligence and reason to reveal or get closer to the truth.”[6] Saad urges readers to believe in the power of their voice[7] and not to be concerned if judging or offending others.[8] This approach seems to prioritize intellectual victory over human connection. While this bold position may empower some to share their voices, it risks putting others on the defensive instead of fostering open dialogue. When truth lacks kindness, it can alienate rather than invite.
In contrast, Christians are called to communicate Truth in a courageous and loving way. In War of Words: Getting to the Heart of Your Communication, Dr. Paul Tripp reminds believers that the goal of speech is not to win arguments but to reflect Christ and pursue restoration. Tripp writes:
The middle way of love is not about being nice or benignly tolerant of those we see doing wrong. Love is active! God wants us to be his agents of rescue when we see another’s sin. He calls us to judge our neighbor fairly and to rebuke each other in a way that is frank and clear.[9]
As followers of Jesus, we’re called to speak truth in a way that points to Christ, not just our convictions and beliefs. By God’s grace, may we “[speak] as gentle, humble agents of restoration, as burden-bearers committed to live by Christ’s rule of love.”[10]
[1] Gad Saad, The Parasitic Mind: How Infectious Ideas Are Killing Common Sense (Washington, D.C: Regnery Publishing, 2020), 17.
[2] Ibid, 27.
[3] Ibid, 92.
[4] John 14:6.
[5] See Ephesians 4:9-14.
[6] Paul Leslie, “‘The Parasitic Mind: How Infectious Ideas Are Killing Common Sense’ by Gad Saad — The Book Review,” The Paul Leslie Hour (blog), November 20, 2021, https://www.thepaulleslie.com/the-parasitic-mind-how-infectious-ideas-are-killing-common-sense-by-gad-saad-the-book-review/.
[7] Saad, The Parasitic Mind, 173.
[8] Ibid, 174.
[9] Paul David Tripp, War of Words: Getting to the Heart of Your Communication Struggles, Resources for Changing Lives (Phillipsburg, N.J: P&R Pub, 2000), Chapter 10.
[10] Ibid, Chapter 12.
About the Author
Kari
Kari is a passionate follower of Jesus. Her journey with Him currently has her living in the Sahara in North Africa. With over a decade of experience as a family nurse practitioner and living cross-culturally, she enjoys being a champion for others. She combines her cross-cultural experience, her health care profession, and her skills in coaching to encourage holistic health and growth. She desires to see each person she encounters walk in fullness of joy, fulfilling their God-designed purpose. “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” Romans 12:12 ESV16 responses to “Truth Matters and So Does Love”
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Kari,
Thanks for the post. There may be some who are called to speak loudly and not care about offending others. But I believe most of us have been called to develop relationships with others. Only after we have demonstrated love and concern for the person(s) will what we say matter and not make a person immediately get defensive.
What do you see in the way of parasitic ideas in your current cultural context?
What actual parasites do you see in your context as a healthcare professional?
Thanks, Jeff, for your questions! I’ll try to answer these as directly as possible without offending or grossing out the audience 😉. Parasitic ideas in my context include extremism of the majority religion, universalism in faith beliefs (no absolute way to God), neo-colonialism, patriarchy, and social stratification, to name a few.
My first sighting of parasites was within my first two months of living here. A father brought his daughter AND her parasites (a long tapeworm wrapped in a paper towel) to the clinic. Intestinal worms, scabies, amebas, giardia, schistosomiasis, and cutaneous larva migrans are some of the most common ones I see. Of course, food poisoning is just a part of life here (and sometimes parasitic). I take antiparasitics prophylactically every six months (or sooner if necessary)!
Hi Kari, Thank you for introducing Dr. Paul Tripp’s book. I am adding it to my must read list. I too diverged from Dr. Saad was in his delivery that I saw as immediately closing doors to dialogue. Your discription about how to engage pointing to Christ would seem on first read to be possible to do in your current setting. Do you find it difficult to not be able to openly speak of Jesus?
Diane, “War of Words” is an excellent book, but be prepared to be convicted! I have to read it in small increments and then pray and process my heart.
Your question about engaging people in conversation to point them towards Christ is excellent. In my context, I do this as openly and directly as I feel the Holy Spirit is leading me. It is incredible how many doors of opportunity I have to do so directly and with love. Often, these conversations are with people I already trust and have a relationship with.
Hi Kari, You are a master at asking good questions. I agree with your thoughts on Saad’s tone—I felt similarly. I recently read a quote by Jonathan Haidt: “You can’t change people’s minds by utterly refuting their arguments.” That really stuck with me.
I know you’ve shared before about your approach to people who only want to debate, but I’m curious—how do you decide when to engage in a loving way, even when someone’s beliefs are strongly opposed to yours?
Great question, Elysse. I decide to engage with people with strong beliefs that differ from mine based on their willingness to dialogue. I try to step away quickly from one-sided debates. A good indicator of whether someone wants to dialogue or debate is if I can complete a sentence before it is refuted. Another clue is if they ask questions and genuinely seem curious. We have have polar opposite beliefs and still dialogue civally.
Thanks for your post, Kari. I think this is a good statement, “I often find elements of truth on both ‘sides’. I want to remain a lifelong learner, engage in dialogue, and be willing to learn from people on all sides.”
This is an important posture to keep dialogue open.
At what point do you think it’s appropriate to confront parasitic thinking?
Graham, I would be very interested in hearing your answer to your question! I think when to confront parasitic thinking depends on the situation and those involved. It is most effective to address parasitic ideology when it will be well-received. Two examples would be in a situation where you already have a relationship with the person/group, or in a situation where you have a platform as an “expert” voice.
Hi Kari, The idea of an intellectual “win” is not very appealing to me. I also think it is easy to slide over into permissive agreement when we utterly avoid speaking truth. As you say, truth IN love is the way. When you converse with other westerners, which topics are you finding most difficult to maintain this balance and why?
Julie, Politics is definitely the “parasitic ideology” du jour that I am struggling to find a balance with when talking to Westerns (especially family in the US). The challenge is that the subtopics (immigration, refugees, social justice, finances, etc.) are things where I see and experience the repercussions. I am very passionate about giving a voice to the voiceless. I am very passionate about these topics and people, and it is hard to tame the emotions!
Kari,
Yes, the idea of love is necessary to accompany truth. Often, we neglect this and as a non-Christian I did not expect it of the author. But, certainly, it might have been more welcoming had he presented things with a more lovingly tone. What might be one thing you agreed with Saad on but found his tone unbearable?
Adam, I fully agree with Saad about Universities coddling emotions over teaching critical thinking.
Hello Kari! I appreciate your take on Saad’s sarcastic demeanor. What was one thing that stood out to you with regards to our emotional reaction to truth and reason?
Thanks, Daren. Saad talks about how people now feel “unsafe” or “harmed” simply by being exposed to ideas they disagree with. This makes me reflect on how quickly my emotions can rise up in defense of my beliefs, even before we’ve stopped to think critically through the argument being made.
Kari, similar to Daren’s blog, you capture the challenge of holding fast to truth while remaining committed to love, especially in a world that often demands we choose one at the expense of the other. You mentioned being shaped by both a conservative upbringing and cross-cultural experiences in a traditionally Islamic society. How have those contrasting influences specifically helped you grow in your ability to speak truth in love, particularly when engaging with people who see the world differently than you do?
Thanks for the insightful question, Chad. My upbringing taught me to value truth, especially grounded in Scripture. Living in an Islamic society has taught me the importance of honoring relationships and communicating with gentleness. I’ve seen firsthand how truth shared without love can push people away, but truth spoken with humility and respect can open hearts, even across deep differences.