To Die is Gain
In his book, Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman talks about two different thinking “systems” of the brain, which he labels “System 1” and “System 2.”[1] I like to think of “System 1” as the gut and emotional reactive part of the brain. It functions on learned behavior, instinct and is subconscious.[2] “System 2” is what we may consider the cerebral part of the brain. This system uses deliberate learning and multifaceted processing to attain facts and information.[3] Under normal circumstances, I would be much more interested in this topic and Kahneman’s cognitive theories and studies. This week, I have been coasting through life on “System 1” as my “System 2” is taking it easy. Life is currently happening through routine and instinct with minimal conscious decision-making. I have moments where “System 2” comes to full life and other times where she is taking a nap. This is the beauty of these two systems. They play different roles and functions and yet are interconnected.[4] So, what is happening within my two thinking systems?
“System 1” is picking up overtime this week because my emotions are engaged at a significantly higher level than normal. This weekend I lost a dear friend to a tragic vehicle accident.[5] Sunday morning, I woke up to a text message about a massive collision in Tanzania. My friend, Lordienne, was vising Tanzania at the time. It was known that she was at the site of the accident, but her status at that time was unknown. On reading this news, my “System 2” kicked into gear. I started searching the news, reading articles, and listening to reports about the accident that had occurred the evening before. As I gained more information and statistics, I mentally calculated the number of casualties, the nationalities, and the probabilities. Statistically, it did not look good for the survival of my friend. A few minutes later I received confirmation that she was one of the victims who died in the accident. As my emotions soared, “System 2” stopped logically thinking and “System 1” took over.
I spent Sunday going through the motions and allowing my emotions to express themselves. Lordienne was a precious friend. She had spent her adult life investing in people for the sake of Christ. She desired for others to experience the freedom and the hope she had found in Jesus. She was a leader, a pioneer, a coach, a mentor, a teacher, an optimist, and a friend. We worked together for several years in the capital city until she decided to move five hours north. In this little city in the middle of the Sahara, she started a training program desiring to equip young local leaders. In the meantime, she continued her own personal development by pursuing a masters in global leadership. She was, of course, was thrilled when I started my Doctor of Leadership in Global Perspectives.
She and I had the kind of friendship where we would stay in touch through textin
g. Once or twice a year we would have face-to-face times to deeply connect. Our last face-to-face was on Saturday, December 23, 2023. She was in the capital for Christmas. We decided to try a new coffee shop which was supposed to have been opening that day. As is often the case in Africa, unbeknownst to us, the opening date was changed. The owners were having a few private tours that day and invited us to stay, look around the gift shop, and have a cup of coffee. Neither of us are shy, so we laughed and said, “Why not?!” We were given a private explanation of the local products sold there, offered a lovely espresso, and were even served some local delicacies. We had the seating area to ourselves as we caught up on life. We exchanged stories of our experiences on leadership development in our host country. Before we parted ways, I pulled out my phone to snap a “Christmas selfie.” My intuition told me to take that picture. My heart now has a treasured photo (above) of the last time I saw my precious friend.
Kahneman’s words on optimists are as if he knew Lordienne personally. “Optimistic individuals play a disproportionate role in shaping our lives… This reasoning leads to a hypothesis: the people who have the greatest influence on the lives of others are likely to be optimistic and overconfident, and to take more risks than they realize.”[6] Indeed, this is true of my friend. I believe that even in her death she will continue to make a deep impact on the lives of others because she believed the words of Paul in Philippians 1:12, “For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain (ESV).”
Even when faced with death, I have hope because of Christ AND it has still been a hard week. As I read Thinking, Fast and Slow, I can appreciate how my thinking shifted due to emotions. There are times like these where our learned behaviors and instincts of “System 1” need to take over.[7] There are other times where “System 2” brings the best results. God has equipped us with remarkable brains. Time is short. What will you do with your thinking to impact your world?
[1] Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow, First paperback edition, Psychology/Economics (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2013), Chapter 1.
[2] Ibid.
[3] Ibid.
[4] Ibid, Chapter 5.
[5] This accident made world news: see https://www.thecitizen.co.tz/tanzania/news/national/nationals-of-7-countries-among-25-killed-in-arusha-road-smash-4536740
[6] Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow, Chapter 24.
[7] Ibid, chapter 1.
About the Author
Kari
Kari is a passionate follower of Jesus. Her journey with Him currently has her living in the Sahara in North Africa. With over a decade of experience as a family nurse practitioner and living cross-culturally, she enjoys being a champion for others. She combines her cross-cultural experience, her health care profession, and her skills in coaching to encourage holistic health and growth. She desires to see each person she encounters walk in fullness of joy, fulfilling their God-designed purpose. “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” Romans 12:12 ESV18 responses to “To Die is Gain”
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Wow Kari thank you for this courageous post. I am sure it was not easy to write as you grieve and mourn, but you have honored your friend and her life so well.
I think that you offer a really helpful model for how grief impacts our brains, connecting Kahneman’s work to an important aspect of leadership; walking with people through grief and loss.
I am praying for you this week and thankful for the hope that Christ brings to the middle of our grief and loss.
Thank you for your kind words and prayers, Ryan! The hope I have going through this is a huge contrast to the hopelessness of our mutual friends who do not know Christ.
Kari,
I am so sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing. I’ll allow System 2 to continue to rest and not ask you any questions. It is amazing how quickly System 1 thinking takes over, which is really needed for ultimate survival My son called last evening worried about a couple friends of his. They had been having a conversation via text and the friend went silent, so my son starting thinking the worst and reached out to us asking for prayer. Fortunately, as we were talking the friend responded that everything was okay and they would talk in the morning.
Kari,
I pray that the God of peace will comfort you and everyone who knew Lordienne. May your memories of her always be a treasure.
Thank you for your kind words, Jeff. This accident certainly has me thinking (and trying not to worry!) about some future travel I have in some more mountainous areas in Africa. It is easy to let our thoughts think the worse.
What a rich post, Kari. God be with you as you grieve, and continue to serve as you do. May you experience the grace and peace of Jesus in your whole being, inclusive of both systems.
Joel, thank you for your kindness and care. I am finding writing (this post, journaling, etc) is allowing me a safe, easy space to engage and heal in both Systems.
Kari, thank you for sharing the gift of friendship you had with Lordienne. My heart breaks for you and for all who knew her. May God give you peace in your grief, which will go on for a while, I’m sure. God bless…
Thank you, Debbie. I have noticed that there has been amazing peace even in the grief. It’s been hard but also beautiful to see how God is using this tragedy for His glory.
Oh Kari, I’m so sorry for your loss. I had heard about this devastating accident.
I’m curious – as you are grieving the loss of Lordienne, do you have any healthy system 1 thinking that you are grateful for the automatic response, and alternatively, is there any unhealthy system 1 thinking that you want to shed?
Hi Christy, yes, this accident hit world news, especially in our world. I did not really identify any unhealthy System 1 thinking this past week. I was very thankful for previously mastered ways to grieve and function at the same time through System 1.
Kari,
Your story about losing your friend in a tragic accident shows how our brains have two ways of thinking: one fast and emotional (System 1) and one slower and logical (System 2). When you heard about the accident, your logical side kicked in, searching for information and trying to make sense of what happened. But when you found out your friend didn’t make it, your emotions took over, and you operated more on instinct than careful thought. Such a sad but beautiful way to expound on the book’s teachings.
Your friend Lordienne sounds like an amazing person who greatly impacted your life and others. Her positivity and faith shine through your words. Despite the sadness of losing her, I pray her memory continues to inspire hope.
I don’t have a question for you, but I will pray for you and whoever else is affected by the loss.
Thank you for your kind words, Chris. Lordienne was a life-long learner and I think she would have loved that the blog was some grief therapy for me.
Hi Kari, I am sorry for your loss. What a beautiful friendship! This is a difficult time for you. Take care of yourself.
Thank you, Shela! She was a friend to many.
Dear Kari, I am so sorry for your loss. The way you wove it into the book was powerful statement how you said she was mentor and friend. My guess is that she would have probably been pleased with that even in death you are learning. I pray God’s peace and that warm memories that continue to enrich your life. No question today, just prayers.
Thank you, Diane. I believe you are right about Lordienne endorsing learning through grief. The bus was coming back from a leadership field trip, so she died learning!
Kari, I enjoyed your approach to Kahneman’s work. The way you brought attention to the dynamic impact of optimism was something I hadn’t really thought much about. Great insight! You mentioned at the end of your post the need for system 1 at times and system 2 at other times. How do you hope to develop an increased awareness of identifying which system is best suited for a situation?
Thank you for your comment, Chad. Personally, a way I am trying to more awareness of which system works well is to evaluate situations already past. What worked or did not work with the way I responded and thought during that situation? What would I want to repeat, improve, or change?