This Is Us. . . The DLGP02
“What makes embracing vulnerability feel the most terrifying is how taking off the armor and exploding our hearts can open us up to experiencing shame. Our egos are willing to keep our hearts encased in armor, no matter the cost if we can avoid feeling “less than” or unworthy of love and belonging. What the ego doesn’t understand is that stunting our emotional growth and shutting down our vulnerability doesn’t protect us from shame, disconnection, and isolation, it guarantees them. [1]
Our cohort has become a part of my “square squad”. [2] This semester we have shared stories of choosing courage over comfort and I would imagine if we laid it all out there, many of us would say that our doctoral journey has been a process of choosing courage, often sacrificing comfort. I love the time that we share each week in our weekly chats and our interactions through the blog posts and WhatsApp. I often come “screeching” into our Zoom chats from all sorts of locations within the school building (because of contractual time constraints) wishing I could get there earlier to enjoy more of the pregame chatter.
THE DLGP02 is a group of leaders who dare greatly by being vulnerable each week through interactions, blog posts, and messages. It is our strength. We authentically share our questions, struggles, and areas of personal growth. Simon Walker highlighted the significance of letting go of ego-driven desires for control and recognition advocating for leaders to embrace their vulnerability, recognizing that it is through authenticity and a willingness to risk their own status and security that they can make a lasting impact on their organizations and communities. [3] Our vulnerability has been our strength.
In my opinion, we function similarly to what Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder refer to in the book Rare Leadership, when they write, “If you are committed to building the fast-track habits you need in order to become a rare leader, it is important to identify which skills you are lacking, which requires a measure of humility, and find people in your circle who have those skills. [4]
Well, as I wrap up year two of this journey, the DLGP02 has dispelled several of the myths about vulnerability as outlined in Brene Brown’s book, Dare to Lead. Has anyone ever watched MythBusters? The show’s original hosts, special effects experts Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman, used elements of the scientific method to test the validity of rumors, myths, movie scenes, adages, Internet videos, and news stories. [5] When they were “in season”, I caught several episodes. I enjoyed watching the two of them use the scientific method to attempt and “bust” existing myths. Does that hat Jamie is wearing remind you of anyone in our group? Brown shared several myths about vulnerability that our group has simply “BUSTED”.
MythBuster#1: Vulnerability has been a strength. Each week the group shows up, sacrificing numerous other commitments to engage in dialogue to sharpen each other.
MythBuster #2: We DO vulnerability. Have you heard the stories of frustration, confusion, and discouragement shared?
MythBuster #3: We CAN’T go it alone. We reach out to one another outside of our “assigned” class times.
MythBuster #4: Vulnerability is uncomfortable and can’t be engineered out. Again, it is a strength.
MythBuster #5: How many marbles have been put in your jar? (Building trust before vulnerability; through listening, paying attention, and showing genuine care to each other) [5]
MythBuster #6: Safe containers exist with boundaries.
Dare to Lead by Brené Brown is a transformative book that delves into the essential qualities of effective leadership in today’s complex world. In the book, she outlines four leadership qualities that she proposes are crucial for daring leadership: rumbling with vulnerability, living into one’s values, BRAVING trust (Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault (keeping confidences), Integrity, Non-judgment, and Generosity), and learning to rise (cultivating resilience).
Brown, a renowned researcher on vulnerability, courage, and empathy, argues that true leadership is not about titles or power but about the courage to show up, be seen, and dare to lead with authenticity. As I was reading the book, flashbacks of our cohort chats and Advance Meetups in South Africa and London came to mind specifically when reading Part One: Rumbling with Vulnerability. Several years ago I attended a Catalyst conference in Atlanta, Georgia, where I first heard Brene Brown speak on the concept of vulnerability and the myths (which were four back then).
Could the shared vulnerability that exists in the DLGP02 be a part of what J.R. Woodward refers to when he stated in his book, The Scandal of Leadership,
“If we want to move from the domain of death to the domain of life, we must adopt a new mindset, which will require us first realizing that if we try to construct our identity in competition with others, we will lose it. We will live as fragmented, anxious people. However, if we die to this way of constructing a sense of self and give ourselves to God and others, we will find that our sense of self becomes integrated, we can become our true selves in God.” [7]
This is us. . . the DLGP02, an empathetic group of leaders taking off the armor and embracing vulnerability as we head into Year 3.
[1] Brown, Brené. Dare to Lead, (New York: Random House, 2018), 119.
[2] Ibid, 22.
[3] Walker, Simon, Leading Out of Who You Are: Discovering the Secrets of Undefended Leadership, (Carlisle, CA3 9GR, UK: Piquant Editions Ltd., 2007), 2.
[4] Warner, Marcus, and Jim Wilder. Rare Leadership: 4 Uncommon Habits for Increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement in the People You Lead, (Chicago, IL: Moody Publishers), 111.
[5] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MythBusters
[6] Brown, 32.
[7] Woodward, J. R., David Fitch, and Amos Yong. The Scandal of Leadership: Unmasking the Powers of Domination in the Church. Cody, WY: 100 Movements Publishing, 2023, 260.
About the Author
Cathy Glei
Cathy Glei serves as an instructional leader and pastor with over 27 years in education and ministry. She is dedicated to discipling others as they grow in their relationship with God, others and the world. Cathy has facilitated numerous professional development sessions, trainings, and workshops in both education and ministry. Passionate about supporting others in uncovering the Creator's design within them, Cathy lives in Michigan with her husband, Steve, and their eight-year-old Springer Spaniel, Otis. Cathy is a mother of three daughters and "Gooma" (grandma) to two adorable grandsons (emphasis on adorable 😊). She enjoys listening and exchanging laughter and stories with others, hanging out with friends, both old and new, as well as being outdoors, enjoying activities such as cycling, camping, hiking, and kayaking.8 responses to “This Is Us. . . The DLGP02”
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Hi Cathy….thanks for your encouraging thoughts. As I was working on my final paper for Jason, I highlighted a similar, thought slightly different nuance, reflection about our group of quite diverse people: we’re doing it! As we look at the fragmentation, fear, lack of listening, shouting, othering, etc… that is taking place in our culture….our cohort is embodying a different way of being–vulnerability, authenticity, curiosity, respect, honesty, kindness. It’s not only a great thing to personally experience, it’s a witness to the world that it can be done….and perhaps more important, a witness to the world that God’s people can do it and it’s part of the beauty of His Kingdom that we can invite others into. Thanks for being a part of that…
This is us… I loved that show!!!
You are so right Cathy. I think this cohort is pretty special and I appreciate the vulnerability and trust we all seem to share.
You are a big part of that. Your posts and verbal contributions are incredibly pastoral, in the sense that, though they are incredibly intellectually sound and doctoral level work, they always seem to point us back to Jesus. They also bring something to the table that draws us out.
I’ve said before, I really won the lottery with my cohort (AND peer group). God knew I needed that blessing in my life in this season. Thanks for being a part of that blessing.
See you in DC.
Cathy~
I loved This Is Us! Every episode made me cry! Hands down you win for most creative post! Thank you for the encouragement. I appreciate you viewpoint, thoughts and pastoral heart. Looking forward to seeing you in D.C.!
This is us. . . the DLGP02, an empathetic group of leaders taking off the armor and embracing vulnerability as we head into Year 3.
Yes… thank you Cathy, I think you nailed it. Perhaps this is the greatest gift of leadership doctoral work, is to do the hard part of it with other leaders committed to the same thing, authenticity! Thank you Cathy.
Wonderful posts Cathy, I’ve never seen the show, but I see what you do with our cohort. I really do love our group and the vulnerability everyone shows. As excited I am that we are moving into our third year I am also feeling a little grief that we will be “disbanded” soon. Not that we can’t keep in touch, but I’ve really enjoyed the interactions and learning from our peers. I never get the feeling of competition, but support and openness. Thanks for highlighting and articulating what we all feel!
“This is us. . . the DLGP02, an empathetic group of leaders taking off the armor and embracing vulnerability as we head into Year 3.” Hey Cathy! Your post was so heart-warming and encouraging. That last line gave me something to think about. Empathetic, no armor, embracing vulnerability. That is a good slogan to practice and live by. I will work toward that goal. Please pray this will be real in my life. Thank you friend. 😊
Great post Cathy! I love this statement, “This semester we have shared stories of choosing courage over comfort and I would imagine if we laid it all out there, many of us would say that our doctoral journey has been a process of choosing courage, often sacrificing comfort.” I agree, it has been quite a journey thus far and we seem in lock step with one another courageously moving together.
Hi Cathy!
Your post is brilliant and enlightening!
I resonate with your thoughts!
After describing our cohort’s struggle very well in your writing. I feel very strengthened by your writing.
You wrote, “Our vulnerability has become our strength.” I very much agree with this. I am grateful that we are in the same cohort.
In your opinion, what is the most fundamental thing that can change our perspective on our vulnerabilities so that we can use them as our strengths?
Blessings!