The Table We Sit At
Over the weekend I hosted my workshop as I continue work on my project and my NPO. The problem I am working on is the lack of welcoming hospitality offered by Evangelical Christians to Somali Muslims. Thanks to Bebbington I have a better descriptor now for Evangelicals. I presented the group with a word picture and a question. I described having a lavish feast at the huge conference table we were sitting at. I helped them envision multiple courses of food all set out with extravagant display. As Evangelical Christians we were sitting on one side of the table and offering Somali Muslims to join us at the table for a feast. Yet, they are not coming to the table. We might have a beautiful feast set out but the Somalis in our city do not feel the hospitable welcome to come and join us at our table. My question is this: How might I encourage and equip Christians to offer welcoming hospitality so that Somalis might begin to sit down at the table?
This week I read a book called Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara. Published in 2022, Guidara is best known for his restaurant called Eleven Madison Park, in New York City, which ultimately landed in the number one spot of top restaurants throughout the world. He claims that what helped distinguish their restaurant from all the other top tier restaurants was their unique focus on hospitality. He declares hospitality is “making other people feel seen.”[1]
Guidara’s book is certainly not a book that will still be in print in thirty years (much less 300!), but he does offer plenty of great leadership advice with a focus on hospitality. His idea of unreasonable hospitality is something that will carry over long after the book fades from the shelves. He details acts that he and his staff would take such as buying sleds for a family who were seeing snow for the first time, or different gift bags he would send home with guests. With an eye for detail, he trained his staff to listen to the customer and treat that as family, serving them more than mere food but rather serving them an experience they will never forget.
Throughout the book he has plenty of good one-liners. Here are a few:
Service is black and white; hospitality is color.[2]
The Rule of 95/5 where you manage 95 percent of your business down to the penny; spend the last 5 percent ‘foolishly.’[3]
Run toward what you want, as opposed to away from what you don’t want.[4]
You’re not always going to agree with everything you hear, but you’ve got to start by listening.[5]
The first time someone comes to you with an idea, listen closely, because how you handle it will dictate how they choose to contribute in the future.[6]
Hospitality is a dialogue, not a monologue.[7]
Far too many Evangelical Christians have narrowed down our view of hospitality. It has simply become a church team that greets people at our doors or the act of welcoming a bible study into our homes. Instead, Christian hospitality should be done for the stranger as well. Biblical hospitality includes welcoming the alien or the immigrant. Divisions caused by immigration rhetoric have highlighted this biblical misunderstanding in our communities. We have lost the art of hospitality. N.T. Wright highlighted the inward ethnic focus and interracial “tensions especially when Christianity is aligned with ‘whiteness.'”[8]
A Pentecostal perspective on a reading of Luke and Acts highlights the role of hospitality as children of God. The author writes, “To serve and share the hospitality of God is therefore an act out of identity.”[9] Our identity is that we are children of God. We have been given a place at his table because he has welcomed us with open arms. His table has unending courses of food. His food is extravagant and unreasonable. The more we eat, the more he can offer. So, there is no need for a scarcity mindset. Nor do we have reason to be selfish. Instead, we can offer up seats at the table to anyone and everyone as our Father is the benevolent host. This brings me back to my first question given to my workshop attendees. How might I encourage and equip Christians to offer welcoming hospitality so that Somalis might begin to sit down at the table?
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[1] Will Guidara, “Plenary Session – Unreasonable Hospitality.” GLS24. Aug. 2024.
[2] Will Guidara, Unreasonable Hospitality: The Remarkable Power of Giving People More than They Expect (New York: Optimism Press, 2022), 4.
[3] Guidara, 46.
[4] Guidara, 54.
[5] Guidara, 64.
[6] Guidara, 116.
[7] Guidara, 191.
[8] N. T. Wright and Michael F. Bird, Jesus and the Powers: Christian Political Witness in an Age of Totalitarian Terror and Dysfunctional Democracies (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2024), 135.
[9] Karl Inge Tangen, “Leadership as Participation in the Hospitality of God – A Reading of Luke-Acts,” Journal of Pentecostal Theology 27 (2018): 304.
About the Author
Adam Cheney
I grew up in California, spent five years living along the beautiful coast of Kenya and now find myself working with refugees in the snow crusted tundra of Minnesota. My wife and I have seven children, four of whom have been adopted. I spend my time drinking lots of coffee, working in my garden, and baking sourdough bread.13 responses to “The Table We Sit At”
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Hey Adam, I always enjoy reading more about your NPO. In my experience hosting, I have learned that there is the art of hospitality, which comes from the heart (and some people have it as a gift), and the skill of entertaining, which comes from performing for others. I appreciate the relational aspect of hospitality that this book seems to bring out.
In answer to your question, I’ll go back to my medical training: see one, do one, teach one. Perhaps Christians could benefit from participating in your hospitality of Somalis (see one), then doing an activity themselves with direct help, support, or encouragement from those more experienced (do one), and then continuing to bring others alongside them (teach one). In my opinion, hospitality is best experienced in the community.
Kari, Great advice.
Adam,
I watched Will Guidara’s Ted Talk, I shared it with a nephew of mine who is going into Culinary.
Your description of the table actually made me think of C. S. Lewis book The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. In the book they come to an island with a table with an immaculate feast set up, but at the table sits people are in a deep sleep. The crew of the Dawn Treader refuse to eat the meal that is in front of them because they don’t understand the situation and are fearful of the food. Brilliant question, what can we do as Christians so that our Somalian neighbors see the love our Christ in us and our authentic care/concern for them as persons created in the image of God.
Here is my question, knowing that in the Arab culture, sharing a meal with someone is essentially an intimate event, what would it take for a Somalia immigrant to invite you to share a meal with them?
When it comes to hospitality, are we speaking the same language? Are the acts that I consider to be hospitable interpreted that way by the person(s) I am offering my hospitality?
Jeff,
Yeah, Somalis are hospitable people for sure. But, there is a divide in our community and we tend not to cross it. I just came home from having a cup of tea with a family. .I showed up and they invited me to sit and have tea. For most Africans there is an expectation that it is okay to show up and be present. This goes against our overly busy, need to pre-plan American culture.
Adam, thanks for your blog. You have inspired me to be more hospitable. I often think of doing hospitality when we have time for it. In the busyness of a week, it’s often pushed to the margins. Perhaps this is one of the issues for evangelicals.
It seems that hospitality is more of a way of life than an optional practice once a week, if we have time for it.
What are you finding to be the major roadblocks to accomplishing your NPO?
Graham,
Christians and Somalis are the biggest roadblocks.
For real, many Somali in our community are happy to remain isolated and distinct. Many Christians in our community would be happy to show Somalis the way to Wisconsin. The biggest roadblock are the people themselves.
Beautiful Adam! Thanks for the last paragraph especially. Preach it.
“There is no scarcity mindset here” is a great reminder. How can we work against this mindset in world that is tribal and fear based in its responses?
Ryan,
We really have to fight the scarcity mindset in our own lives don’t we? I think it begins in ourselves and reminding ourselves that God has provided plenty and he cares about all our needs. Then, out of the overflow of our own heart and lives this also might be shared.
Great posting Adam!
I have noticed how Muslims are treated by the Evangelicals here. It is never this way in Malaysia. We want our Muslim friends to experience God’s love. How else can we share salvation? I have prayed with my Muslim friends and sat at the same table during Ramadan and Christmas dinners. It is disappointing because I grew up in the evangelical environment.
My question for your is which one of Guidara’s one-liners resonates with you most and how would you apply it?
Shela,
I really like, “hospitality is a dialogue, not a monologue.”
We can easily get caught up in what we think is good hospitality without realizing that we are not being a good host. We want others to feel the hospitality, not just for us to feel like we are offering it.
Hi Adam,
I enjoyed your post very much. Thank you. I particularly appreciated this one-liner, “The first time someone comes to you with an idea, listen closely, because how you handle it will dictate how they choose to contribute in the future.” To your question about equipping Christians to offer hospitality I attended a workshop with a woman whose thesis about hospitality is that we need to flip it upside down. Instead of inviting people into “our” spaces and do all we can to make others comfortable within them, we allow ourselves to be uncomfortable on behalf of the other. For example in the context of your NPO that might mean the Christians go into the spaces where Somalis are gathering and get to know them there. I don’t know if this is feasible, but the idea has always stayed with me.
Adam, great blog! The points made in Guidara’s book could be applied in so many areas. At the root, it seems to be gaining trust and somehow finding basic connections. I have often thought about the similarities between the new immigrant and someone returning to society after being incarcerated for a long time. Both experience foreign worlds and looks of distrust from strangers, the local language and meal customs are different, and so on. A similar pattern of vulnerability is felt by the new person or the returner.
What traditions typically occur in Somalia when an outsider is welcomed, and have you noticed whether those same customs are applied in the MN Somali community? Just curious about patterns and how they translate from Africa to America.
Adam! I really enjoyed this post and love that you looked at hospitality. Hospitality is a huge disciple-making opportunity. I’m sorry to hear of the resistance you encounter, but this is a real issue. In light of this, what would you say is the strongest takeaway Guidara gave you for future consideration?