“The Scandal of Leadership”
“If the light inside you is not greater than the light upon you, the light upon you will destroy you.” – Scott Dickie’s mentor.
The above quote is an excellent summarization of the book, The Scandal of Leadership by JR Woodward. I will soon tell you why the quote resonates with the book, but first, reading this book was painful for two reasons. It hurt deeply to read about my brothers in the faith who became a scandal to those who followed them. Whenever I hear, see, or read about a leader who resigned or was fired due to their wrongdoing, I always think, “Who are the people who will reach out to him, his parents, his wife, his children, his church or ministry? Who are the people that will help all of them heal through a tsunami of complex deep issues?
The second reason it hurt to read this book is because it mentioned Bill Hybels. This meant I had to finally face what I was ignoring. As a youth pastor for 20 years, I had spent much time at Willow Creek, speaking to their youth and staff. Bill was a man I had adored and enjoyed learning from and being challenged by him. When allegations came out about him, I did not ask, “Who will be there for him and his family?” I simply ignored the allegations and said, “Say, it ain’t so, Bill.” After years of not looking into it, Woodward’s book brought it to the forefront…again. This time, I decided to accept the truth and grieve for myself, Bill, Lynne, Shauna, Todd and all those women and men who were deeply wounded by Bill.
In my line of work some of the people I counsel are pedophiles, narcissists, sex offenders, emotional, physical, and/or mental abusers. Unfortunately, some have been Christian leaders. So far, I have not counseled any pastor who has denied all allegations, but I do know of pastors and church leaders like Bill Hybels and Mark Driscoll who have either denied all allegations or denied some allegations. This is why I also enjoyed reading this painful book because it gave me more understanding of the shadow side of leaders.
Beerel wrote in Rethinking Leadership, “Many leadership texts and training and development programs do not address the shadow and its impact on the ethical behavior of leaders. Alas, too many leaders are not aware of their shadows or that such a concept even exists.”1 Woodward’s book is about helping “leaders better identify the fingerprints of the devil in our own lives.”2 Could our shadow be the devil’s fingerprints? Peter Scazzero comments on “the shadow.” “Your shadow is the accumulation of untamed emotions, less-than-pure motives and thoughts that, while largely unconscious, strongly influence and shape your behaviors.”4 JR Woodward continues about leaders going astray by writing, it “occurs when leaders forsake the mission of God in the way of Christ through the Spirit and instead move (knowingly or unknowingly) toward imitation of the Powers to achieve the leader’s agenda.”3 JR Woodward does an excellent job communicating that understanding how the enemy works enables the leader to actually imitate Jesus Christ while resisting Satan’s temptations. Thus, the leader will also develop a life worth imitating.
Now back to, Scott Dickie’s mentor’s wise words, “If the light inside you is not greater than the light upon you, the light upon you will destroy you.”
The light inside you
Woodward believes a question all leaders must ask is, “Have I become possessed by my image instead of fully possessing the identity I receive from my triune God.”5 He uses Philippians 2 as the basis for identifying with Christ by emptying ourselves of our own image. From verses 2-6 he tells leaders to follow the way of Jesus involves:
- Refusing to exploit our status;
- Regularly emptying ourselves; and
- Revolutionary humble obedience.6
When a leader does not exploit her status, seeks to empty herself of self, and humbles herself under the mighty hand of God, she allows the light inside her to shine brightly. Her deep sense of being comes from being with the Father in honest sacred moments, especially when she struggles with ministry or even with her own self-worth. Friedman says, “The acceptance and even cherishing of uncertainty is critical to keeping the human mind from voyaging into the delusion of omniscience.”7 When the leader cherishes those uncertain moments, she is pulling strength from the One who is within her. This is humility.
The light upon you
The light upon you most likely refers to the people we are ministering with and to. When we seek to please them, we can become people pleasers or simply lord it over them…or we can in the words of Woodward, dominate them. “I want to explain how leaders who uncritically imitate patterns of power seen in the fallen world are liable to fall into patterns of domination.”8 The leader is liable to imitate patterns of power when the light is upon them to simply impress others, which most likely goes deeper than they realize. “The biggest temptation we face as leaders is to build our own kingdoms, by our own power, for our own glory.”9 When we use our own power for our own glory, it leads us to eventually dominate people because we just cannot give up this control that comes from not being aware of the Powers influence upon us. The result is the leader’s destruction due to his own dominance.
Concluding remarks
Someday, I will do a study on why Christian pastors and leaders “deny all allegations” when all evidence points against them. Why is it so hard for them to admit or confess their sin against another person even if that person willingly said yes to participating in a sexual relationship or embezzling money. This topic comes up quite often in my mind especially when I have clients who will not admit to smaller issues in their lives.
I do have a few ideas about why leaders “deny all allegations” and The Scandal of Leadership has been a good resource to help me see, “when we imitate the Powers, our desires become misshaped, and we incarnate our leadership in a domineering fashion.”10 A few of my questions are:
- What are the factors that lead to imitating the Powers?
- How much does past trauma or unhealed wounds play a part in imitating the Powers?
- How and why does one reach “the point of no return” where they are literally “incapable” of confessing their sin?
- How much of this is part of a mental health diagnosis?
- What contributes to a “seared conscious” of living in sin every week, while preaching the gospel every week?
- What part does shame play in shaping our brain, helping us to imitate the Powers, and being silent about our secret sins?
- How is it possible to be a pastor and not be aware of your shadow side?
- Annabel Beerel. Rethinking Leadership. 303.
- JR Woodward. The Scandal of Leadership. xviii
- Ibid. xxxiv.
- Peter Scazzero. The Emotionally Healthy Leader. 55.
- JR Woodward. The Scandal of Leadership. 264.
- Ibid. 263.
- Edwin Friedman. A Failure of Nerve. 52.
- JR Woodward. The Scandal of Leadership. xxviii.
- Ibid. 285.
- Ibid. 221.
About the Author
Todd E Henley
Todd is an avid cyclist who loves watching NASCAR, photography, and playing Madden football. He is addicted to reading, eating fruits and vegetables, and drinking H2O. His passion is talking about trauma, epigenetics, chromosomes, and the brain. He has been blessed with a sensationally sweet wife and four fun creative children (one of which resides in heaven). In his free time he teaches at Fresno Pacific Biblical Seminary and is the Founder/Executive Director of Restore Counseling Center.19 responses to ““The Scandal of Leadership””
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Hi Todd!
I am always amazed by the work you do in counseling services. You are always ready to be a “container” for all things, including even the worst. I, myself, am not necessarily as strong as you in hearing and managing the various problems told by your clients.
My simple question is, to what extent do you think Girard’s theory regarding “mimetic” tendencies in humans finds a correlation with your clients? Thank you.
What? Simple question? Now that’s funny, Dinka. But I will try to answer your deep question. Girard’s theory regarding “mimetic” tendencies in humans finds a correlation with my clients in a couple of areas.
1. Many of my clients mimic the patterns and behaviors of their parents and/or grandparents. This is called epigenetics. Parents not only pass down their looks and mannerisms but also their struggles, issues, strong points, addictions, etc.
2. Mimetic desire occurs in people on a daily basis. One way this might be harnessed is through advertisements. Celebrities are often displayed in ads, claiming how much they love a product. Girard’s theory shows that people want what others desire, and these ads exercise the theory for profit. Now, a person who has been deeply wounded or traumatized tends to have too much dopamine and cortisol in the brain, which makes them anxious, stressed, depressed, etc. It can be difficult for this person to move forward in life with all their pain. Therefore, they will emotionally and cognitively mimic unhealthy patterns they have seen or learned from others without even knowing it. Thus this person will actually lose his true identity “in stuff, addictions, or in JR Woodward’s case, in dominance”
This is not all the answer because the answer can most likely be written in a book. Dinka, I hope this is helpful. Please let me know if you have any questions?
Todd, What a brilliant answer! I appreciate how you linked mimetic desire to identity, trauma and addiction, and domination. The advertisement culture certainly contributes to unhealthy and malformed desire.
The advertisement culture? I didn’t even think of that one. Thank you Jenny! This is why we need one another because we learn and grow from one another. Thank you for that and I will keep it in mind. Blessings to ya my friend. 😊
Wow Todd…so many good thoughts and so many good questions at the end! You should do a Doctorate on that! 🙂 I certainly don’t have most of the answers to those great questions….but I couldn’t help linking my upcoming sermon (we’ve just started a series on ‘modern idols’ in our lives) on the idol of success. I wonder if at least one of the reasons it’s hard for any public leader to admit wrong is that they (unknowingly) have been worshiping the idol of success for so long. Of course, the ‘need’ success meets is our identity–I make something of myself instead of receiving my identity from God (I know you know all this!). So…if I have, for years or decades, ‘become’ my success…then to admit failure is not simply saying, “I did something wrong” (ok….that can still be hard at the best of times) but it involves a crisis of identity–a person’s very sense of self–and that is something we protect at all costs, for to lose that is to lose everything. In summary, I’m wondering how big of a piece ‘identity’ plays in a leader’s refusal to admit wrong. What do you think?
Man, you went off on your answer! First of all, the most important part is I can’t wait to listen to your sermon series.
“I make something of myself instead of receiving my identity from God.” WOW! What goes into that “making something?” How much do we actually make and how much do we allow others to influence who we are out of pride or people pleasing? What causes us to actually worship success and not notice it? Would worshipping success also mean we are worshipping ourselves? How much of our shadow selves contributes to all of this?
I like the crisis of identity concept. So what is it that’s in us that feels that crisis of identity coming on but we push back so we won’t face it. I like your thought process. To confess to wrongdoing, we actually think we are losing everything. In a way we are losing everything BUT not what we actually think we are losing. Therefore, identity most likely plays a big part in a leader’s refusal to admit wrong because he has built up his own kingdom for so long. When we build our own kingdom and we see it actually about to be exposed, there is nothing left to stand on…yes we can stand on Christ but we have trained ourselves to stand on our own success AND WE ACTUALLY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO STAND ON THE ROCK, EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE BEEN PREACHING THIS TO OTHERS FOR YEARS. To make matters worse, we feel judgment and shame will follow and that’s just too hard to absorb in the soul. So maybe a false identity does not have a context…for grace.
Hi Todd,
Thank you for writing on the topic of the fallen leader. It is a tender spot as I too have sat with those who were deeply wounded, both the one who has fallen and those hurt by their behaviors. Your questions, “Who are the people who will reach out to him, his parents, his wife, his children, his church or ministry? Who are the people that will help all of them heal through a tsunami of complex deep issues?” are mine as well. This whole topic is informing my NPO in a way. All leaders are susceptible and without supportive and safe people around them leaders(male and female) will struggle. Thank you also for your 7 additional questions which are so important to consider, particularly the ones regarding shame and mental health. May I ask about your thoughts regarding the shame the fallen leader’s spouse and children face? How would you address and help them move through their shame and trauma?
Hey Jenny! Excellent question. I also do so much work in helping the spouse and children. In fact, hopefully my PhD will specifically address the spouses trauma. I will keep this short and therefore not do it justice.
1. First I help the spouse understand how the betrayal has impacted them neurologically, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. The first year involves a lot of psychoneuroimmunological healing. We also discuss their PTSD or complex PTSD due to their spouses betrayal trauma.
2. Along with the above we discuss the impact of shame and how to work through it.
3. When they are ready we discuss their childhood trauma/shame, if applicable.
4. Along with the above we discuss triggers, boundaries, healing in relationships vs. in isolation.
5. Understanding the husbands past, addiction, unhealthy coping patterns, etc.
6. Along with the above I would use equine assisted therapy, message therapy, EMDR, play therapy, and/or somatic healing therapy.
I keep all of the above in mind while I am intentionally looking to go off on important rabbit holes. Most of these rabbit holes are simply ways of coping with triggers, anxiety, and shame.
I apply many of the above to children to help them heal. I use lots of play therapy, equine assisted therapy, and somatic healing with children. Please let me know if you have another question because I know this answer is so short and nearly academic.
Thank you for all of this, Todd! My certification is as Partner Trauma Therapist, it seems only recently there have been more resources and techniques for wives, but not much for the children. I am really curious about the “psychoneuroimmunological healing” you mentioned. We should talk again in DC! Are you doing a PH.D. after this?
Partner Trauma Therapist! YESSS! Is there anything you don’t do?! Anyway, I’m so excited for you Jenny! You are a wealth of knowledge, experience, and wisdom.
Yes, I would like to work on my PhD after this program. I like the program at Evangelical School of Theology (Kairos University).
Yes, you are correct, not many resources for children. Play Therapy, Equine assisted Therapy, and even Art Therapy work well for kids. Yes, we will have to talk a lot in D.C.
Wow buddy, such a great posts! I’m sure this reading does hit hard in light of your profession. The shadow self is something that I have been really intrigued by since reading Annabel Beerel’s book as well. I know that has been on your radar for quite some time, but its new for me and makes so much sense to grow as a leader and person. Thanks for your honest post.
Hey Adam. What was it about Beerel’s book that intrigued you about the shadow self? And I’m glad to hear that, man.
Todd,
This is a great post. You wrote,” Someday, I will do a study on why Christian pastors and leaders “deny all allegations” when all evidence points against them. Why is it so hard for them to admit or confess their sin against another person even if that person willingly said yes to participating in a sexual relationship or embezzling money. This topic comes up quite often in my mind especially when I have clients who will not admit to smaller issues in their lives.” Please do this study…it is needed.
Yes I will and I’ll let you know when I start. thank you my dear friend.
Todd, your seven questions at the end are the first 7 chapters of that book! They are fantastic questions. I am such a fan of your’s and the work you do! Thank you for helping other’s find their shadow side and how you walk with them through the shadow of death. That is the work you do, it’s not death but the shadow of what brings death to these men, to their flocks, to the others involved in their deception. You hit the two areas of concern, it’s very crude, but when a leader falls the questions is “wallet or Weiner?” crude, and I apologize but it usually true. Do you ever work with the others involved with the scandal? I can’t help but to think of the wake of destruction of others involved. Especially when it’s young women. What have you learned about what happens to them?
Hey Jana. I actually like that phrase, “shadow of death” I’ll have to sit with that and develop it some more. Thank you!
Yeah, you are correct, it’s usually wallet or Weiner. Your question about the others involved is so huge because so many times it’s more than one woman, or it’s a teenager, or a young girl in her twenties, or a wife’s sister, etc. It get’s so complex. So this is what happens.
As soon as I start counseling the husband or his betrayed wife, I know whoever is the other woman is off limits for our practice to counsel.
When the other woman is married, she tends to get counseling. Not all but many do in order to heal and save their marriage. Their shame is so deep, complex, and emotionally paralyzing. But their healing tends to be phenomenal because they throw themselves into it 100%. A huge reason for this is because a woman’s brain tends to be a little more wholistic than men. In other words compartmentalizing does not come easy for most women. Trauma impacts their home life, work, hobbies, friends, etc. Men can be great at compartmentalizing. This is why they can be in counseling hurting from being exposed but be “just fine” at work or playing golf.
I say all of this to say, ironically my counseling center has only counseled a few ladies who have been a part of the scandal. The ones we counsel are the ones who confess. When a man breaks it off with a mistress, she may never tell her husband and therefore does not get counseling.
If you have any more questions, please ask. 😊
Todd,
This shows your heart:
“Who are the people that will help all of them heal through a tsunami of complex deep issues?”
I dont remember Friedman saying this:
“The acceptance and even cherishing of uncertainty is critical to keeping the human mind from voyaging into the delusion of omniscience.”7
I absolutely love all the questions at the end of this blog post. Your therapist skill comes shining through!
Excellent blog post! I enjoyed reading it!
I see that inner light and it is strong!
Todd,
This shows your heart:
“Who are the people that will help all of them heal through a tsunami of complex deep issues?”
I dont remember Friedman saying this:
“The acceptance and even cherishing of uncertainty is critical to keeping the human mind from voyaging into the delusion of omniscience.”7
I absolutely love all the questions at the end of this blog post. Your therapist skill comes shining through!
Excellent blog post! I enjoyed reading it!
I see that inner light and it is strong!
Thanks again, Kristy for the encouragement and graciousness. You are a true leader. I’ll be watching as they call your name next week. Congratulations. 😊