The Rules of the playground – “You are commanded not to enjoy yourselves!”
“Standing on a whale fishing for minnows”[1] is an apt description for many critics of the modern-day church. Many years ago, one of my best friends and I were working together in a church. We were involved in youth ministry and evangelism together. They were exciting times and were foundational to the type of leader I am today. In those days, I remember my friend’s language started to become critical of the church and Christians in it, and I had a decision to make. Do I stay close to him or disconnect and allow him to walk his journey? I’m glad our friendship separated. Critics of the modern church observe that no institution involving human participation can achieve perfection. While this is true in essence, the notion of entirely dismissing the church in favour of establishing a supposedly “perfect” alternative is fundamentally flawed and paradoxically reinforces the wisdom of the opening Polynesian proverb.
It is notable that an atheist and social psychologist, Jonathan Haidt, inadvertently highlights the significant benefits the church offers to today’s anxious generation. This observation serves as both an encouraging acknowledgement and a compelling rebuttal to some of the most vocal critics of the church, whether they arise from within or outside its community.
Before addressing the author’s unintentional support for the church, Haidt’s call for four foundational reforms to provide a healthier childhood is worthy of note. The idea of No smartphones before high school, no social media before sixteen, phone-free schools and far more unsupervised play and childhood independence[2] have their merit, and the author’s research and supporting arguments make logical sense. Enforcing each of the reforms, however, appears tricky. While phone-free schools seem the easiest reform to actuate, the very idea of enforcing the other three is akin to the overreaches of Liberal governments today.[3] Clearly, governments are already aware of the damaging implications of “phone-based childhood”[4] attempting reform. Recently, in the news, Australia has passed a bill banning under 16’s from accessing social media. [5] Is it the government’s job to enforce this, and how will they do so? Penalise the parents? Perhaps Haidt’s reforms are better seen as ideals worth implementing in each family unit, rather than Government enforced policy. Prioritising the education of parents and communities is a more effective approach than attempting to place governments in the untenable position of policing children’s interactions with phone-based technology.
An example of parental and community leader education is found in Haidt’s core premise for writing the book, which is expressly stated on numerous occasions. His belief is that “overprotection in the real world and underprotection in the virtual world – are the major reasons why children born after 1995 became the anxious generation.”[6] That this has led to children being in permanent defence mode[7] is both enlightening and alarming. The world changes with each generation, and while older generations often lament the nostalgic “good times” of their childhood,[8] it is crucial to critically examine the profound impact of digital media, smartphones, and social media on the developmental trajectory of childhood. According to Haidt, these technological shifts are significantly contributing to an epidemic of mental illness among Generation Z, partly due to the generation’s tendency to operate in a constant state of defence. Haidt’s damming statement that “Social media is a disease of the mind”[9] is not merely an old man’s lament of nostalgia but research-based.
In writing about the opportunity cost of a phone-based childhood, Haidt identifies Four foundational harms to children. These include social deprivation, sleep deprivation, attention fragmentation and addiction.[10] The church is active in combatting each of these harms. Firstly, the church provides ample opportunity for interaction for children with people of all ages in the church community. Whether it be through small group programs or age-based ministries within the church, the opportunity for children to interact with others at all stages and ages of development is evident. Second, attention fragmentation: any child who has learnt to sit through sermons in the church has ample opportunity to overcome this apparent harm. I’ve never been a fan of those who say, “Preaching should be 10 to 20 minutes or less.” In highly subjective terms, I have found proponents of this type of idea to be “too mature for earthly good in the church” or members of churches where the preaching is boring. For example, “The Joe Rogan Experience” is the world’s #1 podcast, drawing an impressive average of 11 million listeners per episode. Its widespread appeal spans various demographics, with a strong presence among listeners aged 12 to 34. Episodes typically run between 2 to 3 hours.[11] Perhaps the issue is not that preachers speak shorter but that preachers work harder to “tickle the oyster”[12] and, in doing so counter the harm of attention fragmentation. Third and fourthly, addiction and sleep deprivation are actively countered in the church through preaching series, discipleship courses and small group conversations.
The Polynesian Proverb is a testament to missing the point. Haidt has effectively revealed that phone-based childhoods have rewired Gen Z because, in part, children have missed part of the point of being a child. That is, play. In a small town near where my mum and sister live in Australia, there is a playground for children. I took my children (who are now 24 and 21) to it many times over the years. Even now, on our annual trip to Australia, we stop at the playground and take a picture of them standing next to the same sign which is attached to the gate. We laughed then, and we laugh now.
The sign is pictured and dates to the year 2000. It is still there. Truly, those born after 1995[13] are an anxious generation. I’m happy to say that God has been good to my children. In part because their mother (my wife) is amazing and because the church has countered the four harmful aspects of a phone-based childhood
[1] Haidt, Jonathan. 2025. The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness. 1st edition. Penguin. 247.
[2] Ibid, 15 & 290.
[3] [3] Deneen, Patrick J. 2019. Why Liberalism Failed: Politics and Culture Series. Reprint edition. New Haven ; London: Yale University Press.
[4] Haidt, 7.
[5] “Australia approves social media ban on under-16s.” BBC News. Accessed December 2, December 2024. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c89vjj0lxx9o
[6] Ibid. 9, 15, 17.
[7] Ibid, 93.
[8] Skoda, Hannah. 2023. ‘Nostalgia and (Pre-)Modernity’. History and Theory 62, no. 2: 251–71. https://doi.org/10.1111/hith.12297.
[9] Haidt, 208.
[10] Ibid, 113.
[11] ‘Joe Rogan Podcast Numbers: Unveiling the Staggering Reach of JRE’. n.d. Mount Bonnell. Accessed 28 December 2024. https://www.mountbonnell.info/joes-austin/joe-rogans-podcast-numbers-exposed-the-shocking-truth-behind-his-billion-dollar-empire.
[12] Spurgeon, C. H. 2017. The Soul-Winner : Or How to Lead Sinners to the Saviour (1895). Illustrated edition. CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform. 64.
[13] Haidt, 5.
About the Author
Glyn Barrett
I am the founding & lead Pastor of !Audacious Church in Manchester, England. I was born in Manchester, but moved to Australia at the age of two. My wife and I were married in Australia and began married and ministry life in England 29 years ago. After serving as youth pastors for 12 years, we moved to Manchester to pioneer !Audacious Church. As a church we now have 7 locations. 3 in Manchester, Chester, Cardiff (Wales), Sheffield, and Geneva (Switzerland). In 2019 I became the National Leader of Assemblies of God in Great Britain. We have over 650 churches in our movement and have planted 98 new churches since May 2022 with a goal of planting 400 new churches between May 2022 and May 2028. I am the Global Chair for Church planting for Assemblies of God which currently has 420,000 churches and also chair Empowered21 Europe. I'm happily married to Sophia, with two children, one dog and two motorbikes. I love Golf, coffee and spending time with friends. I love to laugh, make friends and create memories!8 responses to “The Rules of the playground – “You are commanded not to enjoy yourselves!””
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Hi Glyn, You did a nice job pairing Haidt’s four foundational harms with antidotes found in the church. I’m wondering what role the church could have in implementing and enforcing the four foundational reforms?
Great question Kari. The church can play a role in implementing Haidt’s four foundational reforms, though perhaps not in an “enforcement” capacity, instead, the church can lead through influence, education, and example. Here’s how:
1. No Smartphones Before High School:
The church can provide age-appropriate environments where smartphones are unnecessary. Youth ministries can promote phone-free gatherings and teach digital wisdom, framing the delay of smartphone use as beneficial for spiritual, emotional, and relational development.
2. No Social Media Before Sixteen:
The church can help parents navigate these decisions by offering workshops and seminars exploring social media’s impact on mental health and spiritual well-being. Testimonies and mentorship from older youth who have chosen to delay social media use can also be powerful.
3. Phone-Free Schools:
Churches can support families and schools by creating spaces where phone-free engagement is the norm—youth camps, retreats, and events that intentionally disconnect to reconnect.
4. More Unsupervised Play and Independence:
The church can champion this by hosting community events that encourage free play and creative interaction among children. By offering safe environments where young people can explore leadership opportunities, problem-solving, and independence, the church helps counter overprotection in the real world.
Glyn,
It really was a shocking time to see all those signs begin to pop up on every play area. It seems that our whole world became afraid of lawsuits at the same time and all of a sudden safety was the key focus. I appreciate that you tackle the four different paths forward and while I do not think or pretend that these will be easy I do want to question you a bit on it. You said that some of them might be a bit of a government over-reach and should not be legislated by the government. Years ago, the same was said about making seatbelts in cars mandatory and surely this has proved to be an effective use of government regulations. Since the government supports and allows for the technology to be developed, often times without much oversight, does the government have any role in protecting it’s citizens?
Hi Adam. The government does have a role in protecting citizens, especially when public health risks are evident. However, regulating digital spaces is more complex than enforcing seatbelt laws. Instead of direct enforcement, governments could focus on age verification for social media, educational campaigns on digital health, and holding tech companies accountable. The church and local communities are best positioned to implement these values. A balanced approach, where the government guides and communities model healthy habits, seems the most effective path forward.
Hi Glyn,
What are your thoughts on the practicality of enforcing Haidt’s foundational reforms, such as no smartphones before high school and no social media before sixteen, and do you think these should be government-enforced or family-implemented ideals?
Hi Shela
Enforcing Haidt’s reforms is challenging. While “phone-free schools” seem practical, restricting smartphones before high school and social media before sixteen is, I think, harder to regulate. Government enforcement risks privacy concerns and practical limitations and, I believe, an overreach. Instead, these reforms work best as family-implemented ideals supported by community education and cultural shifts. Governments can assist through age verification requirements, public awareness campaigns, and regulating tech companies. Ultimately, lasting change comes from families and communities modelling healthy digital habits, with governments supporting rather than enforcing.
Thanks for this cogent analysis Glyn. I’m wondering, given the rapid technological advancements and changing societal norms, how do you envision the role of the church evolving in the next decade to better serve younger generations?
Glyn! Hey brother, I appreciate your mention of Haidt’s correlation between atheism and the church. I noticed it as well. In an earlier reply, you spoke about how the church can help address the crisis. Are you planning to implement any of these ideas in your own context? If so, do you fear facing significant pushback?