The Power of Undefended Leadership
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“In order to become myself I must cease to be what I always thought I wanted to be, and in order to find myself I must go out of myself, and in order to live, I must die.” — Thomas Merton[1]
The concept of undefended leadership is new to me. I appreciated how Simon Walker, in his book Leading Out of Who You Are: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership creates a persona of the undefended leader as one who is aware of their vulnerabilities, shares their mistakes, and is unguarded in their approach to their team and the world.
The Undefenders vs. The Defenders
I had an image of a leader who entered a room packed full of teammates wearing heavy armor. They look around the room, remove the armor, and plop down into a seat next to the least likely teammate as if to say, I’m just like you but with a different role. “The idea of undefended leadership is that we are secured not by our skills and resources but by our attachment to another—one who is big enough not to be overwhelmed by our failures and weaknesses.” [2]
This person operates from a posture of trust and authenticity, leading by example, showing their team that it’s safe to be vulnerable, risks are worth taking, and failure is okay. “The soulful leader pays attention to such inner realities and the questions that they raise rather than ignoring them and continuing the charade or judging himself or herself harshly and thus cutting off the possibility of deeper awareness.”[3] It’s not about who they are as much as it is that they recognize their own humanity.
On the opposite spectrum, the Defender tends to operate out of anger, which has a ripple effect on everything they do and everyone they meet, leaving a wake after each lashing. This leader has lost their sense of worth. What lies behind their role has turned dark. In fact, knowing your worth is “not optional but imperative.”[4]
What are Your Defense Mechanisms?
Since leadership is often symbolic of control, rooted in a fear of losing grip on power, it’s important to foster an environment of trust instead of building walls to shield themselves because that wall is a façade for what lurks in the leader’s inner world.
“It is not power that corrupts but fear. Fear of losing power corrupts those who wield it and fear of the scourge of power corrupts those who are subject to it.”[5]
The goal is to dismantle this ideology—to redefine success. Instead, taking responsibility and holding oneself accountable is the more mature stance. The next step is to pay it forward—to help others become more responsible and mature. This “is the primary task of leadership.” [6]
What Are the Roots of the Defenders and How Deep Do They Go?
They are multifaceted, stemming from past experiences, societal expectations, and competition. Understanding the origins doesn’t absolve a person’s responsibility to rectify their existence. One of the identifiers that Walker mentions is powerlessness.
That one struck home for me. I have been working on this through Spiritual Direction and therapy. It has been a long journey of undoing and unlearning. Just as Walker describes the Defender’s goal of dividing everyone into a category of safe vs. unsafe, why not nurture my own inner world?[7] That was my aha moment.
The Freedom to Fail
You’re allowed to fail? Why, yes. Walker writes about the freedom to fail because society’s view of success sets you up to fail and becomes an emotional trap. He shares a parable of a leader attending a party in their honor, and at the end, when everyone has left, and they are left alone, a voice reassures them that they are not only special but precious. This goes beyond any human relationship. It is Divine and is with you always, nudging you to be courageous—always nurturing the self-sacrifice of the Shaping Ego.[8]
How Does This Happen?
By becoming more childlike! Not exactly. Walker’s concept of leading as a child challenges the stereotypes of leadership that are synonymous with adult-like control and dominance. Child-like leaders possess an inquisitive mind, an openness to explore, and the candidness to express themselves, unencumbered by the typical adult constraint of defending their image.
What about morals? Moral authority does not arise from imposing one’s will but from leading by example. Moral authority is about the consistency between what one says and what one does. This breeds trust and is a catalyst for cultivating relationships based on integrity, and it comes from a leader’s “personal struggle and loss.”[9]
Takeaways
At first, I thought this was going to be a book about servant leadership, but after giving it more thought, it seems that Walker is coining a new term for leadership that evokes vulnerability through trust, strength through leading by example and letting one’s ego take a back seat. The focus is on the community, not the leader.
With a creative community, the concept of undefended leadership is fundamental. It allows the leader to look like a superhero wearing a cape of kindness, trustworthiness, and humility, and that can breed the magic of collaboration where creativity can be sparked and inspired.
[1] Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation (New York: New Directions Publishing House, 1972), 47.
[2] Simon P. Walker, Leading Out of Who You Are: Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership, Book 1 of THE UNDEFENDED LEADER Trilogy (Carlisle, UK: Piquant Editions), 132. Kindle Edition.
[3] Ruth Haley Barton. Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership: Seeking God in the Crucible of Ministry (Downers Grove, IL: IVP Press, 2008), Location 201. Kindle Edition.
[4] Simon P. Walker, Leading Out of Who You Are, 190.
[5] Aung San Suu Kyi, Freedom from Fear (London: Penguin Books, 1995), a quote from Goodreads, https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/102486-freedom-from-fear-and-other-writings.
[6] Simon P. Walker, Leading Out of Who You Are, 195.
[7] Ibid., 119.
[8] Ibid., 133.
[9] Ibid., 20.
About the Author
Nancy Blackman
12 responses to “The Power of Undefended Leadership”
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Nancy,
There was so much in this book, I found this to be one of the most difficult posts to write, There were so many different things I wanted to address. I’m curious about your thoughts on Walker’s statement “The goal of the leader, therefore, must be not only to develop skills in others but to enable others to be willing to lay down their skills. Often this involves the leader inviting people to periodically to step down from their leadership roles in order to renew their experience of freedom.” (p 153). Walker suggests that a leader step down every 5 years or so. Defended Leaders fear losing their power, how many leaders can we convince to actually periodically step down from it?
Jeff,
I think all leaders need to take sabbaticals, and not just for a few months. I have seen leaders respond as the Defended Leader, concerned of losing their power and control. And yet, if you think about it, if you have the trust of your people, they will miss you but encourage you to step away and refresh your soul so you can keep going. After all, leadership is a marathon not a sprint.
And, as for the quote you mentioned, I resonate with that because of a time when I was leading a group of women to Russia for a retreat. I decided I would not operate as a controlling leader, so I told the team that we would make decisions together. If I was asking the team to do something that seemed off, I gave them permission to speak up. After that trip, I realized how much freedom I had in not feeling so responsible for every little detail because we (as a team) made decisions together.
Hi Nancy, Thank you for your insightful writing.
How might nuturing your own inner world impact your leadership and NPO as you create the safe place for the creative community?
Hi Diane,
I am a person who believes that things are better done through collaboration and teamwork, but in doing so, I have to make sure I am showing up with my best possible self, which means I have to nurture my inner self. I already practice a daily rhythm of spiritual practices and get away for either one-day, three-day or even longer retreats. They are mandatory for me because I know how the drama of life can cause me to tumble into unhealthy spaces.
Nancy, thanks for the way you interacted with Walker’s book. There’s a lot here! Thank you as well for your own vulnerability about your own journey. How does nurturing your inner world help one to not label people as “safe” or “unsafe”? How might this change the way leaders interact with those they lead?
Graham,
There is a lot to ingest in this book!
What a great question. As a leader, I have been working on being more vulnerable with my team. At some point you would hear me say, “I am human and I will make mistakes, and so will you. The key to this is that we work together on moving through the mistakes and not move into postures of blame.”
That being said, I still struggle with trusting humanity. I will preface this with the fact that my Strengthfinders revealed that I am a person who can sense right away the pulse of a room and of people. I wish God had not gifted me with this, but I do admit that I can tell right away when someone is not safe. The only way I can work through that is to make sure my inner world is as strong as it can be. I have to keep my daily spiritual practices intact and ensure I get away on solo retreats. A few years back, we figured out a way for me to get away for a month. That was bliss. It was hard at first, but once I got the monkeys in my brain to settle down, it was magical. I highly recommend it to every leader.
Without time in solitude, I think people, especially leaders are constantly caught up in the noise. You can’t help it, and the only way you can counter it is to create times of solitude.
Since you asked, how would you answer that question?
Thank you, Nancy, for your post.
In your experience, how does the concept of the Defender differ from that of the Undefender in leadership?
Thanks for your question, Shela.
I grew up in a house where one parent led from the posture of Defender and the other parent was the Undefender.
The Defender always blamed (and still does), constantly made life about themselves, and was angry at the world. The Undefender led from a posture of example that taught me what patience, unconditional love, and empowerment looked like.
Nancy, thanks so much for sharing your voice so beautifully. This book was so full and you did a great job at capturing many things it presented. That said, I want to bring this back to your NPO which I know is focused on crafting a safe space for BIPOC writers to come together.
You mentioned that “with a creative community, the concept of undefended leadership is fundamental” — how do you see yourself weaving this into your NPO?
Especially when working with communities of color I couldn’t help but pause on your words of “safe” vs “unsafe,” as I know trust is a common theme that can present a challenge when exploring the design of courageous spaces for people of color to flourish. I’m sure you’ve got lots of great thoughts on this!
Thanks Akwese,
I think learning more how to lead from a posture of the undefended leader with a group of writers who are already isolated and wanting community for a variety of reasons, it seems imperative that I need to be vulnerable so my beloved community knows I empathize with the pains that come from birthing words onto a blank page. I also hope to raise up other leaders and the concept of safe vs. unsafe is something I will need to navigate as I keep moving forward. Obviously, trust is a big part of this, as Walker mentioned. I have learned this from my years as a missionary and leader within a diverse socioeconomic church group. People need to know that they can trust you so they can believe that you aren’t trying to pull one over on them.
To be clear, I hope this community will be for everyone, not just BIPOC. The only way we can learn from each other is to be within a safe, inclusive, welcoming community.
You reminded me of a couple of times working with marginalized groups in the past and how I needed to be patient, consistent in showing up and present so that the community would eventually trust me. In one situation, it took a person four years (!!) before she even spoke to me, and when she finally cross the threshold, she never turned back.
Hi Nancy – I always enjoy your posts.
I see Jesus as an undefended leader as his (rightful) ego took a backseat as he entered humanity with humility.
How do you see Jesus as an undefended leader?
Hi Christy!
Thanks for your kind words :-).
I keep thinking of Jesus meeting the woman at the well and his posture of hospitality. He was so genuine in his approach. There was no power hierarchy. He was just thirsty and wanted a drink of water and she happened to be there at the same time.
I also think being undefended means you stand up for the Truth, which reminds me of Jesus as He turned the tables in the Temple. It wasn’t as much an issue of power or control. He was making a point.
And, in the end, when He’s hanging on the Cross, He knew that was His destiny and yet just before He dies, He cries out to God, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachtani?”
Why have You forsaken me? It reminds me that Jesus was incarnate and I can trust that He knows my struggles intimately.