The Black Hole…
“As you shuffle through hundreds of notes and a dozen lines of thought, you start feeling that you’re…spiraling down into a black hole of confusion, paralyzed by what seems to be an increasingly complex and ultimately unmanageable task.”[1]
[2]
Ah, yes. The black hole.
I am there.
If I am honest, the black hole brings about the question: “Why?” Why have years of reading not served me better to confidently embrace doctoral-level research? Perhaps it stems from believing that reading and writing on a critical and more disciplined level was always for the serious student, not something the average person would see to better themselves with. As I question my own history of these disciplines, I realize I have usually read to better myself through information. The exception is when I engage in scripture. In reading Scripture, whether in my daily quiet time or in preparation for a sermon or Bible study, I see myself engaging with the Holy Spirit so as to see if it needs to transform my thinking, questioning how it pertains to life, and often engaging other sources synoptically. However, the continual “meeting of the minds through language”[3] requires an ongoing sense of discipline so that there is a continual conversation of life in all one takes in and gives out through a given source.
How one reads then obviously transfers to how one writes. As Ahrens attests, it is the natural medium of reading and learning.[4]
I consider myself a decent writer when I am passionate about a matter. However, when the passion leaves, the “blank page” plagues me. Ahrens gives hope that the “blank page” is a myth.[5] The truth, in his opinion, is that daily writing with good note-taking will eliminate the “blank page” for life.[6] Furthermore, good note-taking transcends planning. Good notetaking demands my undistracted attention,[7] as well as a structure that connects the present learning to other learning. In this way, my thoughts can dance with not only an author’s thoughts but create a large group dance that produces discovery on uncharted levels.
As I commit to daily writing and intentionally applying an attitude of focused notetaking throughout this program, I am hopeful that Ahrens is correct. I desire to not only end up with an impactful dissertation but also a greater love for reading and research that will evolve to greater heights of discovery, engaging itself in my writing with developing ease.
For now, I am still in the black hole. However, now I have hope and by completing this first assignment, I have moved an inch closer to the top of the hole.
.
[1] Kate L. Turabian et al., A Manual for Writers of Research Papers, Theses, and Dissertations, Eighth Edition: Chicago Style for Students and Researchers, Eighth edition (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2013), 48.
[2] francescoch, Climbing out of a Hole, accessed January 11, 2022, https://www.google.com/search?q=climbing+out+of+a+black+hole+free&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwjX
k72j5r78AhXgEmIAHWPLCIAQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=climbing+out+of+a+black+hole+free&gs_lcp=CgNpbW
cQAzoECCMQJ1DFBVidC2CuDGgAcAB4AIABUIgB0gKSAQE2mAEAoAEB
qgELZ3dzLXdpei1pbWfAAQE&sclient=img&ei=CEu-Y9fvMeCliLMP45ajgAg&bih=707&biw=1440&rlz=1C5
CHFA_enUS807US808&hl=en#imgrc=yHXklxAuGCQl6M.
[3] Adler, Mortimer J. and Charles Van Doren, How to Read a Book (New York City, NY: Touchstone, 1972), 99.
[4] Sönke Ahrens, How to Take Smart Notes: One Simple Technique to Boost Writing, Learning and Thinking, 2nd edition, revised and expanded edition (Hamburg, Germany: Sönke Ahrens, 2022), 2.
[5] Ahrens, 3.
[6] Ahrens, 3.
[7] Ahrens, 55.
About the Author
Esther Edwards
Esther has served in ministry leadership for over 35 years. She is an ordained minister, an ICF and CCLC certified coach, and licensed coach trainer. Her and her husband have launched their own coaching practice, Enjoy the Journey Leadership Coaching and seek to train ministry leaders in the powerful skill of coaching. Esther loves hiking, reading, and experiencing new coffee shops with friends and family. She enjoys the journey with her husband, Keith, their four daughters, sons-in-law, and their five beautiful grandchildren.17 responses to “The Black Hole…”
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Thank you for your open and honest reflections about where you are in the process. I look forward to journeying together. The journey seems quite uphill and difficult, but I am trusting and relying on the One who made this opportunity possible.
I look forward to the journey together as well, Cathy. I am holding on to Phillippians 1:6 and know that He will form and shape us through the process.
Amen!!
Esther, the ‘black hole’ of writing plagues me, too, and I love that we’re being given tools to address that. I want to commend you for being first to post as there is something so right about working the process that helps to overcome ‘the overwhelm’. Thanks for modeling boldness for the rest of us!
Thanks, Tim. Although it did take me a few hours to finally hit the “submit” tab.
You are so right about simply overcoming “the overwhelm” with forward motion. Martin Luther King, Jr. once stated, “You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the next step.”
The majority of my writing over the years has been for sermons. I have discovered that I can “sit and stare” (although now I’m at a standing desk, because they say ‘sitting is the new smoking’) at a blank page/black hole for a long time until inspiration strikes. When it does I am often able to write a sermon in very little time. When I’m asked how long it takes for me to write a sermon I respond with “Well, about an hour of writing, and about six hours of just sitting there, thinking, waiting for something to happen!” So, I resonate with the “black hole” – let’s dive into it together this year!
It will be quite the deep dive together! Looking forward to the journey.
Thank you for your reflection, Esther. I resonated with how you described the way you read the Bible. We naturally engage with the Holy Spirit when reading Scripture as well as other spiritual books. I am inspired and wondering how I can be more aware of the Holy Spirit as I engage with our doctoral readings. Do you have any thoughts on that?
My desire is to be more aware of how God wants to transform me through the readings,assignments, lectures, etc. I am starting to daily ask the Holy Spirit the simple question of “What are you inviting me to through this?”
I also desire to pay attention to how I want to show up. I often show up fearful and overwhelmed instead of grateful and dependent on His confidence and strength. So much to learn in this area!
Oh boy. I feel the black hole deeply. In fact, I feel that each time I sit down to write. Period. The paralyzation is real and requires me to do what I call, “butt in seat” until I have at least two thirds of a rough draft. Usually, this “butt in seat” method moves me out of paralyzation and into pretty awful writing but at least there is something on the page. I too am hopeful that “daily notetaking” will eliminate the blank page for me though I doubt my organizational skills to be able to manage my notes in a productive way. Thank you for your honesty and for going first on our blogging journey!
That is a great technique! I have a feeling I’ll be using any and every mental approach out there to get beyond the paralyzation. It is so good to know we are all in this together and will climb out of the big black hole together.
You questioned how years of reading have seemingly not prepared you for doctoral-level research. I read that and felt the same way. How is it that I have a graduate degree, have a resume that includes leadership roles, and yet feel under-equipped to read, think, and write in a way that will get me to the other side of this program? I believe this current “disorientation” is the sort of thing that will yield in me, God-willing, a greater humility as I approach complex problems. And speaking of solving problems, Paul and Elder have a great template for problem-solving on page 31 of their little book. I would love to know if / how you might include these in your coaching toolbox, since you serve as a coach.
Travis –
I am praying the same…a greater humility and yes, a greater understanding in complex problem-solving.
You asked about Paul and Elder’s template for problem-solving (p. 31) and I definitely see how it could not only be a coaching tool, but a coaching model for many areas since problem-solving is so needed in leadership, team development, personal growth, etc. However, one distinct area could be what we are facing right now as doctoral students. The whole doctoral process is, in a sense, an extremely complex problem and utterly overwhelming.
Last year I coached a doctoral student for an extended amount of time around her doctoral work and as I read through this template, I see we were continually moving in and out of these steps to bring clarity to goals, addressing problems, establishing doable steps of action, eliminating hindrances, etc. Through the coaching process, that student came away with a renewed sense of her goals and purpose, greater clarity around her doctoral thesis, a deeper self-awareness, and was able to remove motivational roadblocks and develop strategies to take steps forward with increased confidence. Because of the success I saw that our coaching sessions had in her process, I have personally hired a coach myself for this doctoral journey. As a coach trainer once told me “a coach should always have a coach!”
Esther, thank you for being the first one in our cohort to post! I know that took courage and it grounded me to my own writing. I relate to the blank page comment and had ruminated my own blog post in my mind long before I wrote it, but see one finally put to the paper (so to speak) helped me just get started! Thank you.
Thanks, Jana.
I was motivated to post early due to my upcoming trip, but I am glad it helped you get started. Looking forward to growing together through all this!
“I realize I have usually read to better myself through information.” Esther, what a beautiful comment that communicates humility! I see so much passion and discipline in your blog, which will be part of the reason for your success! I will take your phrase with me as I move forward in order to better myself, which means those who follow me will become better. Thank you!
This doctoral journey is already proving to be rich in challenging me on so many levels. However, it is also proving to be rich in relationship. When I think back to South Africa and remember you continually taking pics without partiality to capture moments of community, I realized you were truly a gift to this cohort. Thank you for who you are and what you bring to the table, Todd.