The Agreeable Ruth
Daniel Nettle’s book Personality: What Makes You The Way You Are describes personality as something internal, stable, inherent to the person. [1] It is something which stands in a casual relationship to their specific choices, motivations, reactions and obstacles when faced with the stream of events. [2] Nettle explains that there is a five-factor model for personalities that is popularly accepted today. He covers these five with a chapter for each in his book. They are extroversion in chapter three, neuroticism in chapter four, conscientiousness in chapter five, agreeableness in chapter six, and openness in chapter seven. [3]
There was a small test at the end of the book that the reader could take to see which category he or she fell into for themself. [4] My major personality trait was agreeableness, which surprised me. My secondary trait was conscientiousness, which I thought perhaps would be my foremost trait. For the purpose of this blog I would like to look at this trait of Agreeableness a bit closer.
Agreeableness
According to the author, agreeableness is paying attention to the mental states of others, and to factor these states into one’s behavioral choices. [5] People with this trait are quick to forgive and slow to get angry, even with those who are in fact blameworthy. [6] They derive moral pleasure in doing things to improve the lot of others. [7]
Ruth
When I think of the trait of agreeableness, the biblical character of Ruth comes to my mind for several reasons. When Naomi implored her daughters-in-law to return to their families, Orpah eventually turned back. However, Ruth was loyal to her mother-in-law. She was keenly aware of Naomi’s mental state at that time. She knew Naomi was a widow and had recently lost both of her sons. She was all alone, and had no one to care for her. These facts went into her decision making to stay by Naomi’s side.
When they returned to Bethlehem, Ruth gleaned in the field of Boaz. When Naomi realized that Ruth had found favor in Boaz’s eyes, she advised Ruth to continue going with his young women to graze in his fields. At the end of the harvest, she told Ruth exactly what to do so that Boaz would know that she wanted him to redeem her as her closest relative. It was a bold move. Other foreign women might have refused. But Ruth knew that marrying Boaz would improve not only her own lot, but also her mother-in-law’s. It would be good for them both. She obeyed Naomi’s every word. And Boaz ended up marrying Ruth as her kinsman redeemer in a beautiful picture of how Christ redeems us. Ruth, though a Moabitess, was grafted in to the genealogy of Jesus Christ. They have a son named Obed, who becomes the grandfather of King David.
So did Ruth have this personality trait of agreeableness? There’s no proof that she did. But I think so. She was loyal, and obedient. She paid attention to the needs of Naomi, and acted on those needs. In fact, all of her actions were based entirely on the needs of her mother-in-law. Even before she knew this God of Naomi’s, she derived pleasure from making her mother-in-law’s life more bearable. Did she have other personality traits as well? Probably. But was agreeableness one of them? My opinion is yes, it was.
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About the Author
Tonette Kellett
Missionary, teacher, Bible student, traveler ... Having lived in Kenya and Korea, I now live in Mississippi and work with the Mississippi Band of Choctaw Indians.13 responses to “The Agreeable Ruth”
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Tonette, my partner’s favorite book is Ruth! I think she would love how you’ve highlighted what an amazing, selfless, life Ruth lived. Your point about improving the lot of her mother-in-law, Naomi, I think is proven in Ruth4:17 when they name the boy Obed, because “a son had been born to Naomi”.
Whenever I read your blog posts, I think I see something similar in you. The care you have for your community comes out in your writing. I’m sure that God will continue to work wonderful things through your care for others just as God did through Ruth.
Caleb,
Thank you for the blessing of your words. They always mean so much to me.
Great post, Tonette. I love the comparison here and the mapping of your own personality through Ruth. To answer your own question in your blog, I think she did have a personality of agreeableness. She was certainly loyal and I think there is a lot of her in you. She is certainly a biblical hero and someone that I believe had the Spirit of God moving her in her decision to stay with Naomi. Thank you for the great post. Nice work on the hot seat!
Thank you Michael – the hot seat always makes me extremely nervous! Even when I am confident going in to it!
Tonette, I love your post! What a great idea to draw Ruth into this conversations, specifically about agreeableness. It is fascinating, isn’t it, that she is mentioned in the genealogy of Jesus. She was courageous in the way she thought and acted and is such an inspiration to those of us who are “agreeable.” I suppose she is an inspiration to everyone of all personality types.
You mentioned today in our zoom chat that one weakness of being agreeable, is that sometimes you’re too agreeable. I see that in myself, as well. Are there things you are doing to address that weakness? I’d love to have this conversation with you someday, as I’m working on this, as well.
Jenny,
About being too agreeable, at times I feel other personality types are pushing me hard to have their way, and not letting my voice be heard because they depend on my to be the agreeable one. If that makes sense? I have the tendency to get walked on at times.
What do I do about it? As I have gotten older and wiser, I see it for what it is. I have begun to take a stand where it matters most. That has been difficult for me, but helpful.
Thanks, Tonette, for your reply. That makes complete sense. I am working on some of the same issues.
Tonette,
I love hearing what everyone thinks of your post! I agree with them all!
I look forward to hearing your response to Jenny’s question.
Thank you Kristy.
Tonette,
I loved your post and how you identified how you can relate and then tied in the story of Ruth and how you could see this play out in a historical figure.
I also can relate to how you felt you might test as one thing and then found out you were something different. This has always been my struggle with personality tests. Can you see how you still carry a part of these traits in your personality?
Sara,
I definitely think we can be more than one personality trait. I like to think we are mostly one thing, and parts of another. Thus, I sometimes see parts of other traits in myself, yes. Don’t you?
Tonette,
I loved your post as well as our discussion over your blog… Was there something that you forgot or wish you could have said to everyone whole group about your post?
Amazing job as always!
Great post. How has being agreeable made you a better servant leader?