That’s what I like about you: Appreciation
In Rare Leadership: 4 Uncommon Habits for Increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement in the People You Lead by Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, they share how fast track thinking impacts leaders and building RARE leadership practices. In chapter 10 the authors propose different practices which will help a leader endure hardship well, one being the “practice of appreciation for fifteen minutes every day.” [1] This habit requires finding a peaceful space to process thoughts. The authors emphasize the importance of “practicing these things when you are not overwhelmed in order to build a foundation to which you can return.”[2] Most interestingly they make the connection between practicing appreciation “in order to suffer well.”[3] Discovering this practice of appreciation did not sound new, as I have come across this practice in other readings. I read through various resources to see if I might confirm this notion of being appreciative or grateful as a means of weathering hardship or growing as a leader. The results of my search confirm Warner and Wilders promotion of appreciation. In addition to sharing various texts in this blog, I will share highlights from what I heard from the leaders in my cohort while in Oxford. It was a privilege to hear from those in the DLGP program and where they are in their current leadership positions; many reflected on how grateful they are for where God has them.
Celebrate
Tom Camacho, in his book Mining for Gold underscores the importance of asking leaders in the early stages of coaching to find “what they can celebrate about their current situation.”[4] This helps provide a basis for talking about what God is doing and promotes having faith for what God might do in a leader’s future. Finding what we can celebrate is another way of appreciating what we have.
Oxford highlight: Deron shared how he stepped down from his pastoral role this past April and is trusting God for his future in ministry. One of the things he celebrated was his wife’s excitement in making this step. I was surprised to hear that she had been praying for Deron to take this step. I admire Deron for his obedient faith and how he is celebrating his wife’s support.
Optimism
Roy M. Oswald and Arland Jacobson in their book The Emotional Intelligence of Jesus emphasizes the need to exercise “parts of the brain that deal with positive emotions,” and “the more positive emotion becomes the default way in which the brain functions-that is, the more it establishes a mode of optimism.”[5] Having a practice of appreciation increases an optimistic outlook overall.
Oxford highlight: Greg McMullen shared how he has made alterations to his food ministry in Washington and how this has allowed him to get more sleep and time with his family. I know this has been a loss of ministry but a positive gain for himself and his family. I appreciate Greg’s outlook on this adjustment in his leadership.
Gratitude Journal
Jules Glanzer in his book The Sound of Leadership proposes that gratitude is “central to effective leadership.”[6] He encourages a daily practice in keeping a “gratitude journal” where the emphasis is on “what you have rather than what you do not have.” [7]
Oxford highlight: Becca has needed special medication for months and Caleb offered to have this medication mailed to him and agreed to bring them to the Advance. Becca was very grateful for Caleb’s generous offer. Becca, in her appreciation, focused on how the meds were coming instead of the frustration in not having them in her possession.
Mental Health Benefits
Shawn Achor, in The Happiness Advantage reports psychologist Rober Emmons finding: “studies have shown that consistently grateful people are more energetic, emotionally intelligent, forgiving, and less likely to be depressed, anxious, or lonely.” [8] The mental health benefits of being grateful are significant.
Oxford highlight: Chad McSwain shared how he is progressing in his research, and I was surprised to find out that he had made a big change in the direction of his NPO. Despite this big shift, Chad has successfully recorded multiple podcasts. I was impressed with Chad’s upbeat perspective on the work he was pursuing and what kind of stride he had taken even with the shift he had made in his research.
I am impacted by the many books that reveal the great benefits of being grateful and I am impressed with the leaders in my cohort who demonstrated appreciation while in Oxford. I hope to put this Rare Leadership discipline into practice by starting a gratitude journal. I
[1] Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, Rare Leadership: 4 Uncommon Habits for Increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement in the People You Lead, p.184
[2] Ibid. p.184
[3] Ibid. p.185
[4] Tom Camacho, Mining for Gold, p.62
[5] Roy M. Oswald & Arland Jacobson, The Emotional Intelligence of Jesus, p.63
[6] Jules Glanzer, The Sound of Leadership, p.61
[7] Ibid. p.61
[8] Shawn Achor, The Happiness Advantage, p.98
About the Author
Kristy Newport
8 responses to “That’s what I like about you: Appreciation”
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Outstanding, Kristy! This post was seriously a joy to read. This is what it is all about. We can read a thousand books but if we do not apply it or recognize it in real life, what good is it? I love how you interweaved the readings with our group and recent advance.
Appreciation and gratitude are huge. I feel like as I’m maturing in years, wisdom, and leadership, I am starting to appreciate things I never would have in the past. Everything used to be fast and in a rush. I still live a pretty packed life but I think I am doing better at stopping and recognizing a moment when it is there and I enjoyed hearing the author’s perspective on this. They discussed it in chapter 10 and I believe they touched on taking a few minutes a day in chapter 5 of the workplace book. I think as Christian leaders we can learn a lot from this book and grow in our maturity. Reflection is a great discipline and bringing God into it is even wiser. I look forward to incorporating a lot of the acronyms and good habits into my workplace. Thanks for the great lesson on appreciation and reminder of how amazing this group is.
Kristy, I love this post! Honestly, it is not always easy to focus on the gratitude side. It took a bit for me to get there, but I have learned that it makes a huge difference. When it comes to my health issues, I can choose to be upset, mad, and focus on the negative, but what good does that do for me? When I choose to focus on the positive, I worry less and trust God more. I love that you are starting a gratitude journal. How will you integrate this into your everyday life?
Kristy,
Great Post, I really resonated with Camacho’s book and focusing on the positive.
Kristy,
Great application of the exercise in the book. It was a joy to read the “shout outs” and the connections you made to other books. I love how deeply you listen to those around you. This is a fantastic and life-changing leadership quality that you offer to those in your orbit. Thank you for sharing this.
Kristy, grateful for your reflection on gratitude and for the way you are caring for, listening to, and praying for those around you.
Kristy,
I loved how you listened so attentively to those around you while we were in Oxford. You have a caring and sensitive spirit. Your love for others is just so evident in this post!
Kristy, I love your post! Wow, what a great job you did weaving in an abundance of authors, in addition to Warner and Wilder. The way you added insights from our cohort colleagues was brilliant. You are an amazing listener and so good at organizing your thoughts to include the practical and theoretical. Does the topic of this blog post intersect with your project?
Kristy, Great read!
You are always a highlight of any trip! I enjoy learning from you and reading through the lens of you!
Thank you for challenging all of us!