Th3 C0nn3c7i0n B37w33n Adren4l Gl4nd In5uffic13ncy & Sy5t3m 1 7h!nk1ng
Created in Canva by Nancy Blackman
As soon as I began reading Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman, I felt my body tense with anxiety. I had to stop because the triggers were firing. The reason for the triggers is that I was, once again, recognizing the limits of my brain. For most of my life, I thought my brain was normal. Yes, I comprehend and view the world a bit differently than others, but I thought it was because I was an artist.
“…we not only tend to compare things with one another but also tend to focus on comparing things that are easily comparable—and avoid comparing things that cannot be compared easily.”[1] Dan Ariely discusses this theory of relativity and how it influences our understanding. In this case, my perception of self was being confronted by a new perspective.
Digging a Little Deeper
A few years ago, during therapy, I was preparing for my first EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing) session. I thought we would begin at my remembered point of trauma when I was five years old, but my therapist suggested I begin in the womb. I thought it was odd but trusted her.
When Kahneman suggests an exercise of “beating a steady rhythm,” I was reminded of the EMDR vibration paddles that are held, one in each hand.[2] Before diving in, my therapist told me to think of my safe place, all while my palms felt the gentle back-and-forth vibration. Then she asked a question. My brain froze as it was attempting to enter System 2 thinking while feeling the vibrating paddles. I needed to let my brain get comfortable with the vibration before thinking about the question, also known as dual processing. Eventually, my body relaxed as I allowed the paddles to become second nature, and System 2 then engaged.
I imagined I was in the womb. It was dark and warm. Occasionally I felt the closed walls around me contract, squeezing in, forcing me to hold my breath. I tried to stretch out but couldn’t. This image would later become a symbol of me always trying to break through the rigid box of my nuclear family. For now, I was in the womb of a woman who gave birth to my existence.
Suddenly, my body stopped. Everything went into slow motion. I gasped and said, “She didn’t want me!” as the vibrating paddles continued to buzz in the silence of her office. My eyes popped open, and I stared at my therapist for what seemed like minutes. All of this was confirmed when I was 19 years old and my mother, in a state of rage, shouted, “I wish you were never born!”
My therapist knew of my adrenal exhaustion and wondered if I had been in this state all my life, not just since I was diagnosed in 2013 when I was bedridden for six months. In a matter of five minutes of EMDR, my whole life began to make sense—the brain fog, memory issues, and the difficulty shedding weight, even when I was logging in 35-50 miles per week of training runs.
There are days when I am thankful for muscle memory, but back in 2013, having my brain tell my body to get up and make the ten steps to the bathroom was as if I was carrying a ten-ton boulder on my back—each step planned and intentional. During times of systematic errors, I had to tell myself out loud, right foot, left foot, right foot, left foot, trusting my availability heuristic. On days when there were biases and my brain struggled with simple decisions, I would turn to Chris and say, “Please think for me,” which meant, telling me what I needed to do next as the cognitive ease between easy and strained leaned to the strained side. I had lived within the halo effect for many years—becoming an Art Director for a prestigious department store chain, athletic, running a marathon, and traveling, I was disillusioned when I was suddenly faced with the idea of not being able to do much of anything.
What I have found, over the years, is that the only time this is easy is when I am being creative, reading a book, learning, traveling, or out in nature walking—the spaces where I am happiest and know I am my beloved self. However much I would like to believe Kahneman’s statement that a person is at cognitive ease when they are “in a good mood, like what you see, believe what you hear, trust your intuitions, and feel that the current situation is comfortably familiar,”[3] most days my body remembered that current situations, especially the good ones, were temporary. Therefore, don’t get too comfortable. A lot of this was because, for many years, the woman who gave birth to me consumed too much energy and effort, and nothing was stable. This also led to a misguided anchoring effect when trusting people.
In conclusion, one of the helpful attributes in my continual journey of recovery is to adopt a heightened level of self-awareness to recognize cognitive biases that influence my health and daily living so I can make informed decisions.
If I had the opportunity to ask Daniel Kahneman a question, it would be this: You said, “System 2 is the only one that can follow rules, compare objects on several attributes, and make deliberate choices between options.”[4] Is it possible that artists were created to be System 1 thinkers most, if not all the time? Is this why we struggle to follow rules? Actually, there is no struggle, we just don’t do it, but how does that line up with your theory?
[1] Dan Ariely. Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions (New York: Harper Collins, 2009), 8. Kindle Edition.
[2] Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2011), 31. Kindle Edition.
[3] Ibid., 60.
[4] Ibid., 36.
About the Author
Nancy Blackman
10 responses to “Th3 C0nn3c7i0n B37w33n Adren4l Gl4nd In5uffic13ncy & Sy5t3m 1 7h!nk1ng”
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Hi Nancy Your journey and reflections are really inspiring, thank you for sharing. Your question for Daniel Kahneman about artists and their thinking styles is quite thought-provoking. If you could ask him another question related to your experiences and his theories, what would it be?
Glynn,
It wouldn’t be a question. It would be a statement of I’m not sure this adds up to me and the way I’m wired and my health issues.
Maybe the question could be: how does your theory of System 1 and System 2 thinking intersect with those who have health issues that cause foggy brain or those who are neurodivergent or those who have mental health issues?
Nancy,
Thanks for your transparency. What type of rules are you referring to when you ask your question? There are obviously some rules that you follow, but is following those really System 1 thinking too?
Hi Jeff,
Aren’t they ?
I had a difficult time reading this book as it was too dense so maybe I misunderstood his use of the word “rules.”
Perhaps what I’m trying to communicate is that I find artists to be more outside-the-box thinkers. We often don’t follow what society deems as logical. Yes, I understand that there are “rules” such as driving on a particular side of the road to stay out of danger or paying taxes to keep Uncle Sam content.
One of my favorite quotes is from Pablo Picasso — “Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.” 😬
Thanks for your post Nancy! I think you have identified an absence of the understanding of trauma and adaptation that Kahneman’s book is missing in what seems like a very clean cut, clinical analysis of thinking and bias.
If you could write a chapter about trauma or adaptation and the brain is it relates to what you shared in your post, what would be some outcomes or bullet points you would want people to know?
Ryan,
Ooh! Good question!
I have been doing more reading on neuroscience and the connection of trauma. One book that has helped me is “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel van der Kolk, which, I believe is an upcoming read for this course.
• Neurobiological Response to Trauma: Understanding how trauma impacts brain regions involved in emotion regulation, memory processing, and stress response could provide insights into how traumatic experiences shape behavior and decision-making.
• Long-Term Effects on Decision-Making: Traumatic experiences can have lasting effects on cognitive function and decision-making processes. These effects may manifest as hypervigilance, avoidance behavior, or difficulties with attention and concentration, which can influence both System 1 and System 2 thinking.
• Adaptation and Coping Strategies: Though Kahneman touches on heuristics and biases that influence decision making he doesn’t explore adaptive coping strategies in response to trauma. Understanding how individuals adapt to traumatic experiences, develop resilience, and employ coping mechanisms could provide valuable insights into human behavior under stress.
• Neuroplasticity and Recovery: The brain’s capacity for neuroplasticity and its role in recovery from trauma is incredible, which Kahneman doesn’t discuss. It would be great to learn more about how certain therapy modalities (such as EMDR) and/or cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can be helpful for neuroplastic changes in the brain, along with meditation, which helps the brain and body’s stress levels balance and heal.
• Social and Environmental Factors: Trauma often occurs within social and environmental contexts that can influence its impact on the brain. Social support, socioeconomic status, and access to resources can shape an individual’s ability to cope with trauma and adapt over time.
• Intersectionality and Diversity: Trauma experiences can vary widely depending on factors such as culture, identity, and lived experiences. Kahneman’s book focuses primarily on cognitive processes that are universal to human psychology, but exploring how trauma intersects with diverse identities and experiences could provide a more nuanced understanding of its effects on the brain.
Hi Nancy, Thank you for sharing a part of your life as you think through Kahneman’s book. Not to minimize the depth of what you were shoaring, but your art is obviously such an important part of you. Would you say that it is always a system 1 or 2 and how. I guess what I am looking to understand is if your art is the kind of thing that you can do without thinking and simply get lost into it where is can bring joy. Thanks again for sharing.
Hi Diane,
I believe art therapy was created for the mere fact that art can relax the body and release the need for System 2 thinking. That’s the short answer.
For me, writing is something I can get lost in. When I’m learning a new technique in watercolor, then I’m sure System 2 is engaging, but it’s not a painful or challenging experience, so I do tend to still get lost — a little music, some paints, paper, and I’m zoned out.
Hi Nancy – thank you for your vulnerable post. As I read through it, I could just sense the Father saying about you, “I am so proud of my daughter Nancy”.
I’m curious about rule following in system 2 thinking? I guess there is part of me that says rule following is easy (system 1), it’s breaking them that requires much more energy and thought (system 2). In other words, it’s easy to follow directions, it’s much harder to pave your own way.
What do you think about that?
Hi Christy!
Oh sure … thanks for making me cry 💜. Thank you for your words of Love.
After talking with other creatives (and that doesn’t mean we speak for all creatives), our brains can’t always understand the rules. Rather than embarass ourselves (especially for someone like me who comes from a shame-based culture), I will tend to “figure things out,” which often equals coloring outside the lines because it makes more sense.