Technology, A Challege.
Introduction
One review stated that the rewiring of childhood has led to a decline in physical play and independent exploration which are crucial for healthy development in our children. And Haidt called for both parents and educators to recognize this issue and to adapt in order to support the mental health of the children.[1] This caught my attention since my kids (4yr old daughter and 13yr old son) are struggling with this issue; they want to stay home instead of going out just so they will be watching TV, or playing games on the phone, or digital devices. Most of the time, I was thinking to myself that it just comes with time.
During my childhood years, I was growing up in the Islands where we go to school not to learn, to go play with our friends. Toys, or sports equipment were hard to come by, so we improvised. We designated sticks for baseball bats, or soccer ball as football to play football. Most of the time we learn our lessons the hard way. One day, me and couple of my friends made parachute out of sleeping sheets and jumped off a 30ft coconut on a seawall, pretending we were soldiers, fortunately, the tide was coming in. I was growing up learning the hard way which makes me so protective of kids today. Haidt seemed to think that is the better alternative than spending too much time on electronics.
My Family and Technolgy
Our kids are now growing up in the digital world, according to the 2015 national survey by Common Sense Media, more than half of children have their own tablet, about 24% have their own smartphones and among teenagers, 67% have their own smartphones,[2] which is a good reason for parents to be concerned about. Some pointers to consider in establishing a healthy way for using technology are as follows: (1.) do not overreact – focus on the healthy way of using technology, (2.) educate them about the uses, the benefits, and what not to use it for, (3.) use judgment – when it comes establishing boundaries, or restrictions, (4.) promote sleep or rest time, (5.) pay attention to how they are using technology, (6.) teach them online behavior, and (7.) and maintain real-life interactions.[3] I find these to be just some examples or starting point that can be modified and customized to each individuals, or families.
Whether we like it or not, technology is here to stay and to affect various aspects of personal life, family life and daily life. While we parents struggle to find ways to adapt to these changes as it affects our children’s social, emotional, physical and future work lives, our children felt that this is nothing abnormal.[4] Since we can avoid the existence of technology, we must adapt as suggested: “(1.) manage screen time, (2.) promote physical activity, (3.) monitor mental wellness, (4.) practice stress-reduction, (5.) foster peer friendships, (6.) use online health resources, (7.) explore wellness apps., (8.) set rules for bedtime, (9.) talk about distraction and safety, and (10.) discuss the difference between productivity and technology.
Leadership Journey Challenge
As now aware of how technology can affect a family which could also affect one’s leadership journey. As I am trying to write a blog to post, my 4yr- old daughter is using my iPhone, my son is playing games on his computer, and my wife is watching a movie. This is difficult and challenging! This reminds me of Dr. David Rock. “One of the best ways to improve mental performance is to understand this limits.”[5]
To improve in the area of leadership, I must start by being a leader in my family by setting examples of how technology must be used, when and how in which it could be beneficial to everyone. I believe that being a leader on oneself and ones family is fundamental to being a great leader outside of the home.
[1] Kirkus review. https://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews/jonathan-haidt/the-anxious-generation/. Accessed February 21, 2025.
[2] American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/topics/social-media-internet/technology-use-children. Accessed February 21, 2025.
[3] Ibid.
[4] Price-Mitchell, Martin. Psychology Today: 12 Ways to Keep Your Children Healthy in the Digital Age. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-moment-youth/201805/12-ways-keep-your-children-healthy-in-the-digital-age?msockid=240e118ac93f69a41d3e0411cd3f6ba5. Accessed February 21, 2025.
[5] Rock, David. Your Brain at Work. Revised and Updated: Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Days Long (p. 2). Harper Collins. Kindle Edition.
About the Author
Noel Liemam
12 responses to “Technology, A Challege.”
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Hey Noel! I see you have a very active household. The digital dilemma is real, and many families face the challenge of managing digital distractions. Since you mentioned taking the lead in your own home, could you share what strategies you think help overcome the threat of distraction?
Thank you, Daren, for you comment. I need to admit and recognize that it is an issue and get my wife on board to recognize and admit it as well. Then we both can address this issue with our kids. And the most important part is praying about it. My older kid is easier to work with since he is thirteen years old. Thank you again, Daren.
Noel, thanks for a good blog and insight into your childhood play. After reading the book what strategies will you employ to help your kids deal with anxiety-inducing technology?
Thank you, Graham, for your comment. I used to think that it would be safer for my kids to play online since they won’t get hurt physically, like I had experienced growing up, But after hearing Haidt, I believe i need to work on having my kids play outdoor more. Thank you again.
Noel,
Thanks for sharing your struggles and your childhood activities. I cannot picture jumping out of a coconut tree into the ocean. I agree that sometimes our own overprotectiveness comes from wanting our kids to avoid the mistakes we ourselves made. I also agree that it is hard in this world as a parent and leader to balance the use of technology within your context(s).
I’m guessing the islands have changed over time. What exists today on the islands that allow for children to be able to play?
Thank you, Jeff, for your comment. Our islands have gone through little changes, but not much. It is remoteness from the center is one of the advantages that could create and encourage what we here (in America) called outdoor activities such like camping on the remote islands, gardening, fishing, snorkeling, sailing, etc. Currently, they are now starting to have access to the internet which is now changing the way it used to be. Thanks again, Jeff.
Hi Noel – You are in a fun season of parenting with younger children! My oldest turns 18 next week and just yesterday we were laughing about the ways I made his life difficult when he was younger. When he was 15, I encouraged him to get a job so that he could save for a car. He didn’t make much progress job hunting until I gave him an ultimatum – get a job this week or lose your phone until you do. The result? He had a job in 2 or 3 days. He was angry with me then, but said he’s grateful today. The same is true for some of the technology limitations we put on our kids.
So my encouragement to you is to remember that even your kids are upset with you for a parenting decision today, they will often come around and be grateful in the long run!
Thank you, Christy, for that idea. My 14-year-old son keep talking about how he wants to go work at this Fastfood place, Dairy Queen. And I am sure it is not for the thought of saving money, but for the food and time outside the home. It is a good idea, but sometimes my overprotectiveness comes into play. So, we talked about when he turns 15, then we’ll consider the idea.
And thank for that idea, we will consider. I like the idea of having him work and save up money for something and learn how to interact with people.
Again, thanks, Christy.
Hi Noel,
Thanks for your perspective of currently parenting younger children. In what ways do you find it challenging to limit your own screen time and how do you see it impacting the family?
Thank you, Julie, for your comment. That’s the challenge, me showing the example. My work is consistently involving computer at work and my home office as well. It looks hypocritical to tell my son to limit using his computer when I am constantly on the computer myself, whether work or school.
The only way I could do is limit using Facebook and the social media platforms and having time limits or schedule for playing games on the computer. And another one would be to increase playtime outdoors and live social activities.
Thanks, Julie!
Noel, Jonathan Haidt argues that the “Great Rewiring” of childhood has led to increased anxiety and social fragility due to the decline of physical play and independent exploration. As a parent who grew up in a vastly different environment—one where improvisation, outdoor play, and learning through real-world experiences were the norm—I now struggle with balancing my children’s technology use and their exposure to real-world challenges.
You talked about the need to model this balance for your children. What is a way you are intentional about modeling that now?
Thank you, Chad, I have learned a lot by reading your post. My older kid is almost 14yrs old and the younger one is four. One thing that I am thinking about is to increase spending time outside the home, whether it be going out to the parks and indoor play places just so they can have time away from the digital devices. For my son, I am planning on getting a gym membership to explore options. Thank you again, Chad.