Pulling on Beans
So far, this book by Edwin H. Friedman entitled A Failure of Nerve has been my favorite reading. Having been in many different forms of leadership for well over half a century, I deeply resonate with his thinking patterns and the lessons he is proposing. This book reminds me of an incident in my own life that I had the privilege of witnessing. I took my family to a still-divided Berlin when my daughters were very young. My youngest was 5 years old and entering an educational journey that would remain a part of her life for the next 20 years. This would be her first day of school in a German-speaking class. She had no German language skills as we had just arrived. I remember that as we entered her classroom, we were helped by a very nice Kindergarten teacher with only a cursory set of English language skills. She kindly looked at my daughter and told her; You can hang your jacket there, you can put your pencil box there, and you can sit over there. So began her quest by following her teacher’s instructions. The teacher pulled me aside to inquire about my daughter’s educational needs and temperament. As the teacher and I spoke, my daughter curiously looked around the room. Soon after, the other students began to arrive. As her teacher and I spoke, we were both struck by what sounded like impeccable English being spoken. To our surprise, what we witnessed next took us both by surprise. There was my young daughter standing at the door of the classroom, giving instructions to each student as they entered as to where they could hang their jackets, where to place their pencil boxes, and where they could sit. The teacher and I both just watched with amazement as each child followed her instructions to the T. The teacher later told me that day was her most leisurely opening day in her somewhat short career as a teacher. Just as I was about to leave, my daughter motioned me aside and, a bit confusingly, said to me, “I don’t think these children understand English.” I reminded her of several conversations leading up to that day that her classes and classmates would all be speaking German and not English. She looked at me and said, “What in the world am I doing here?” I reminded her that we were there as Ambassadors of the King and that He would lead and guide us as we represent Him to these people.
So why does Friedman’s book remind me of this story in my life? Friedman reminds all of us that while leaders may or may not be born, they are certainly grown naturally, and it is not a process that can be forced or even sped along. I loved his quote about fixing problems, which in my experience is an essential skill in collaboration with others. “This is generally a process that cannot be willed, any more than one can make a bean grow by pulling on it.” Leadership is a superbly organic process, and it matures by having the right seed, soil, sustenance, and shepherding.
Friedman touches on a very important aspect of leadership. Good leaders have a unique ability to grasp a vision, break it into its constituent parts, employ the right kinds of people to deal with those parts as a part of an orchestra, and to keep the vision on track and within the parameters of the original. When all is said and done, the leader is the keeper of the vision. He can delegate component parts, but he can never delegate his responsibility for it, any more than he can delegate his responsibilities for the welfare of the men and women under his sacred stewardship.
Bringing it back to the original story, my daughter caught the vision. Knowing where to hang jackets, place pencil boxes, and where to sit were not the vision; they were merely components of a loosely constructed human-designed organization designed to get the group to where it needed to be. The vision was to conduct ourselves as Ambassadors of the King and to grow in a manner that was worthy of His name. To finish the story, within 3 months, she was near-fluency in German, that is, for a 5-year-old. She, along with my equally as gifted other daughters, attended schools in 8 different countries, and she is a teacher, teaching Latin. Above all else, she holds tightly the vision of her ambassadorship, and she is passing that vision on to not only her daughters but to a whole new generation of Christian students.
About the Author
David Weston
8 responses to “Pulling on Beans”
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This is a beautiful story, David. I’m grateful you shared it. I did not see that coming, that your daughter would take those instructions and immediately give them out to her new classmates on her first day. Maybe leaders are not born, but she must have had some good influence from her caregivers in those first five years to have that level of confidence.
To your point about a leader being a “keeper of the vision”, I love this. That may be on of the go-to definitions I have for leadership now. In your fifty plus years of leadership experience can you recall a time when you had to “keep the vision” before others to see the journey to completion?
Thank you for your kind words Christian. I pray today is a turning point in my healing. After three weeks, I finally got more than two hours of continuous sleep. My pain is starting to subside.
You asked about “keeping the vision.” It has been an area of reliance from my leaders for a long time. Understanding the vision is not always an imperative. But staying faithful to the vision, believing it is from an unchanging God, and staying grounded in His Word is absolutely imperative. I have repeatedly witnessed how mission creep crept in to water down the vision whenever someone gets hit by the idea fairy.
For thirty-five years, I have devoted my time and energy to being a part of Jesus’s commandment in Matthew 28.19-20. I have sought passionately to participate with the Holy Spirit in proclaiming the Good News to those who have never heard. I have done so with a lot of push-back. To this day, I remain faithfully devoted to making disciples among all the nations in the world.
Thank you for sharing such a rich story of a brilliant daughter. Your story illustrates how leadership is about embracing vision and embodying it in ways that inspire and empower others. Your daughter’s instinctive ability to step into a leadership role speaks to how leadership can transcend language and communication.
I love how you connected this personal experience to Friedman’s insights. His concept of leadership as an organic process aligns perfectly with the way your daughter naturally grew into her role, guided by the larger purpose of being an Ambassador of the King. The imagery of leadership being like a seed that requires the right conditions to grow resonates deeply—it’s a reminder that leadership isn’t something we impose, but something we cultivate with patience and care.
Your emphasis on leaders being the “keepers of the vision” is a powerful takeaway. True leadership is about more than just managing tasks or solving problems—it’s about holding onto the bigger picture and ensuring that every action aligns with the ultimate vision.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story! It’s inspiring to see how your daughter’s journey reflects the principles Friedman outlines and serves as a living example of how leadership is nurtured over time, always rooted in something greater than ourselves.
Thank you, Jess. Your comment reminded me of just how organic the process of developing leaders is. I would perhaps add that the more organic it is, the more likely it is to transform.
It almost feels humorous to me when I think of Jesus’s response to his disciples in Mark chapter 4, starting with verse 26. And he said, “The kingdom of God is as if a man should scatter seed on the ground. 27 He sleeps and rises night and day, and the seed sprouts and grows; he knows not how. 28 The earth produces by itself, first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear. 29 But when the grain is ripe, at once he puts in the sickle, because the harvest has come.” Watching the young maturing in grace and leadership is a seemingly invisible process that God causes to happen, even when we are not sure how.
David,
Initially, I thought this story about your daughter would describe a struggle, how to dig in, and how to display grit. However, your daughter displayed such grace and finesse at the moment, which is wonderful to witness. Amazing!
I have spoken about the orchestra theme with my second-level leaders at a handful of businesses where I worked. I used it to demonstrate how all the pieces can “fit” together and produce glorious sound. It is exciting to see and hear that the relationship between all sections spreads and synchronizes with one voice and harmonious sound.
What is an example you recently experienced about being the “keeper of the vision”? Or have you participated more as one of the section leaders in the orchestra?
Thank you, Michael. Grace and finesse! What beautiful words to describe our hearts before God and Men. I must confess that, at 39 years old, this same daughter continues to demonstrate these same qualities as a Wife, Mother, Teacher, and daughter. I feel the same as John in 3 John, verse 4, when he told Gaius, ” I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. She and her two sisters continue to model grace and finesse for her mother and me. People follow her because of the demonstration of love she pours out daily. It is a form of leadership we should all aspire to. There are so many visions that I have become the keeper of. The idea fairies are prolific, and remaining true to the vision can be daunting. There are so many good ideas out there. But often, they are inconsistent with the vision. Keeping the vision requires several things. The leader must first understand the vision and its component parts. The Leader must know how to communicate the vision so that each member can understand. The vision must be communicated continuously. Each person must know that you understand it, and they need to hear regularly how they fit in. Mission creep will take over if they cannot see themselves as a vital piece of the orchestra and the symphony they perform.
I absolutely adore this story! Your daughter got so many wonderful qualities from her father! Being able to speak multiple languages is such a fantastic gift. I fondly remember my journey from Moscow, Russia, to Portland, Oregon, with a transfer in Frankfurt, Germany. At that time, I spoke only Russian and didn’t know any English or German, which made me a bit nervous as a 16-year-old venturing outside of Eastern Europe for the first time. I was worried about missing my next flight! But then, out of the blue, one of the airport employees approached me, speaking perfect Russian. He kindly guided me right to the terminal I needed. Not only did he speak impeccable Russian, but also English and German. Thanks to his knowledge and experience, I felt so reassured and was able to fully trust him to lead the way. It really highlights how having knowledge is important, but knowing how to apply it can make all the difference!
Ivan, there are few things in life I enjoy more than hearing the stories of men and women who have sought a new life in a new country through immigration. This may sound odd, but moving to a new country, knowing little of the language, and learning the culture and language brings me such a great deal of pleasure. My wife and I have worked and lived in many countries, including Germany, Uzbekistan, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Turkey, Singapore, Iran, Iraq, and Cyprus. Each of those countries brought great pleasures and challenges.
With each move, God brought a Person of Peace into my life. All of them are now fervent followers of Christ and were vital to my and my family’s lives.