Príliš neskoro pre moje deti – Too Late for my children (Slovak)
Príliš neskoro pre moje deti – Too Late for my children
Part 1. Introduction
Part 2. What others are saying
Part 3. What I learned from Haidt
Part 4. Epilogue: What is the way forward
Part 1. Introduction
Príliš neskoro pre moje deti, príliš skoro pre moje vnúčatá.” Too Late for my children, Too Early for my Grandchildren.
My children’s ages are 23, 23, and 24 and they are part of the Anxious Generation described by Jonathan Haidt.[1]
However, growing up in Hungary till the 8th grade, they lived in a rural village where walking to school, to the market, and playing in the town square was standard. Missionary budgets don’t allow for children’s telephones, and it wasn’t until we returned to the United States that each received a phone. At the time it seemed like a necessary safety precaution for children who began to learn to drive on crazy Texas roads.
Little did we realize the perils of internet access.
Part 2. What I learned from Haidt
Haidt gives some guidance,[2]
- Until 18 months of age, limit screen use to video chatting along with an adult (for example, with a parent who is out of town.)
- Between 18 and 24 months, screen time should be limited to watching educational programming with a caregiver.
- For children 2-5, limit noneducational screen time to about one houre per weekday and 3 hours on the weekend days.
- For ages 6 and older, encourage healthy habits and limit activities that include screens.
- Turn off all screens during family meals and outings.
- Learn about and use parental controls.
- Avoid using screens as pacifies, babysitters, or to stop tantrums.
- Turn off screens and remove them from bedrooms 30-60 minutes before bedtime.
Haidt continues to provide guidance up to ages 13-18[3]
All of this is great, but it comes TOO late for my children and TOO early for my grandchildren.
Part 3. What others are saying
First of all, Youtube has several LONG videos where Dr. Jonathan Haidt speaks about his book.
- Jonathan Haidt: How Smartphones & Social Media Impact Mental Health & the Realistic Solutions, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csubiPlvFWk
- Jonathan Haidt | The Anxious Generation and the Epidemic of Childhood Mental Illness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-L58niidJM0
Some critiques:
- “While researchers largely agree that there is a mental health crisis among young people in the United States, the cause of the crisis — and whether it’s unique to Gen Z — is contested. “If anything, the mental health of older adults in the US is far worse,” Christopher Ferguson, a psychology professor at Stetson University, told Platformerin an email. “Middle aged white men are three to five times more likely to kill themselves than are teen girls. There’s just no evidence for the common but largely mythical idea that somehow young people are more vulnerable to media effects than are adults.” Zoë Schiffer Apr 11, 2024 —
https://www.platformer.news/anxious-generation-jonathan-haidt-debate-critique/
- But as the University of California, Irvine, psychology professor Candice Odgers asked in her critique of The Anxious Generation in Nature, “Is social media really behind an epidemic of teenage mental illness?” The answer, per Odgers, is no. Blisteringly, she accuses Haidt of “making up stories by simply looking at trend lines” and says his book’s core argument “is not supported by science”. Haidt makes the basic error of mistaking correlation with causation, she says. The Anxious Generation wants to save teens. But the bestseller’s anti-tech logic is skewed Blake Montgomery https://www.theguardian.com/books/2024/apr/27/anxious-generation-jonathan-haidt
Part 4. Epilogue: What is the way forward?
Each parent in my situation has probably put on the cloak of “shame and guilt.” We just didn’t know the perils of phones and their access to the internet. Now young adults, my children are in a place where they will encounter the political, social and spiritual commentaries of the world. Certainly, they will encounter the “sins” of the world. Same ones that I faced as a young adult, but more readily available in total privacy.
So what is a daddy to do?
- I do engage in dialogue with my children about ANYTHING they want me to. I will provide opposing views and give them a link so that they can do their own research.
- Shall I be bold enough to say that I am asking/training them to do some CRITICAL THINKING?
- Can I teach them that heuristic/rule of thumb reactions are shallow and require deeper thinking, aka Daniel Kahneman’s, Thinking Fast and Slow. [4]
- Ultimately, I return to something tried and true. I pray, then I pray HARDER.
[1] Jonathan Haidt, The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness (New York: Penguin Press, 2024).
[2] Ibid., 270
[3] Ibid., 281
[4] Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow, 1st pbk. ed (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2013).
About the Author
Russell Chun
interlinkt.org is now ready for your Refugee Resettlement needs. 15 tasks, languages ESL plans coming5 responses to “Príliš neskoro pre moje deti – Too Late for my children (Slovak)”
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Russell~
I hear you. And I understand why you feel it’s too late. But might you consider a couple of things?
First, the introduction of phones and social media is not a surprise to God. You are a fabulous parent to your adult children (I love how you say they can say anything to you). In God’s plan, you are your children’s father–perhaps our adult children need our knowledge about cell phones even more now that they’ve experienced its effects.
Second, like I mentioned in Scott’s post, don’t you think there’s something else going on alongside the social media use and cell phones in our culture? And if so, what do you observe? Is the mental health crisis happening in Ukraine with young people?
Thanks for your candor.
HI Pam,
Thanks for responding. This week I have a revolving door of folk visiting: ALL Americans but, one from Ukraine (age 29), one heading to Ukraine (age 23), and one who is a vagabond with dog (age 40) whose focus is Romania. Today I pick up someone from Kyiv (age 34, father of 6). I mention the ages, because in my world, I do work with young Americans who are seeking to explore, expand, and take risks for their faith.
I love what your wrote, God is not surprised by the internet.
My mind flashed back to Genesis 11:6 The LORD said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them.
Then I thought about a hard wood tree. One person harvests the fruit for 20 years feeding family and friends, when the tree dies the farmer makes a plow, One, a Soldier, takes the wood and makes a shaft for a spear. Somewhere in the tree’s life there were children climbing, children swinging, and teen agers smooching in the cool shade.
God created man and the tree. With free will he gave us, we are challenged, tempted, connected by social media. Pluses? I interact with Europe and Africa daily on social media. Minuses? Well Haidt spells that out.
Consider the gun, like social media useful or deadly.
That’s all I got.
Shalom
Russell,
Thank you for ending your post with hope for yourself and others that are on the other side of the parenting journey. It sounds like you are an amazing Dad.
Though there are very real concerns regarding all that Haidt mentioned, I look back to just a few generations ago. My parents had just as much “I should haves” when my brother started drugs at 11 years of age. They had no idea until he was 15 and took the neighbor’s car from New Jersey to California. Drugs were available everywhere and my parents were clueless. There was a cascade of change as schools began implementing the “Say no to drugs” campaign. I do think Haidt is on to something in urging the schools to not allow screens in school. My few thoughts…
Pray and pray harder.
That’s primary.
I also like that you engage your kids with critical thinking, providing them possible alternative answers without forcing them that direction. That’s the kind of dad I’m trying to be.
Hey Russell! Excellent, and I mean excellent post. I love how you included critics against Haidt. That is excellent critical thinking and keeps you from being bias. But you already know that.
Russell, I was a youth pastor for 20 years and have 4 children. With this in mind, I know how easy it is for us parents to focus on what we may have done wrong. So, there is something I would like for you to do. Focus on what you have done right…which is a whole lot. Rejoice in the gifts and skills God has given you that you passed on to your children. ❤️