Present!
In Friedman’s book A Failure of Nerve, I just can’t get over the fact of being present.[1] In all the anxiety, confusion, problems we face as leaders and just being human, I cannot seem to get passed the idea of being present. Even growing up in school during roll call, the teacher would call out our name and we would respond with being present. Even in the Old Testament when God would call upon one of His leaders, they would come to Him and say “here I am.” Or in their own way, say “I am present.” If I could summarize this entire book an entire sentence, it would be to be present in all circumstances.
To correlate this book into a bible verse, it would be II Timothy 4:2, Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with all long-suffering and teaching (NKJV).[2] As the Apostle Paul is helping his spiritual son Timothy, Friedman is encouraging us to persevere, but to be present, especially with those we lead. It is an incredible gift that we can give others to be present with them.
In early summer, I was coming out of a grocery store. I was in a hurry to get to the church and start dinner for the bible teaching to follow. I was praying while leaving the store, I walked past a pair of dimes that had been on the parking lot for some time. I noticed them, but I hurried on my way to my vehicle. The lord spoke to me and said go back and pick up those two dimes. I argued with the Lord and said I don’t have time to go back and pick up a pair of dimes. The Lord spoke to me again, and said “that is the problem, you don’t have time for a pair of dimes.”
As I postured my heart before the Lord, I began to walk back to the pair of dimes and I began to cry. As I bent down and picked up these two dimes, driven over, stepped on, passed over by many. These two dimes have been abused greatly. The Lord spoke to me again “remember what I have called you to, don’t be so busy that you ignore what I have called you to do.” As the lord corrected me, I remembered a story of my own mentor, who, while in England, experienced a great paradigm shift. Walking the shores of a beach, he experienced Jesus in a new way, a new threshold if you will. But in that paradigm shift, he gave up what he thought was important, retired his role as supervisor in Foursquare. This paradigm shift was a pivotal point in his life, marriage, family, and church.
Often, we want answers to our questions. We search the scriptures, perhaps earn another degree, talk to an expert. In my masters program, I found that my professors were more intrigued by my questions rather than my knowledge or how much I could answer someones questions about the bible. We see that Jesus mainly taught from question and answers.
In conclusion, there are many great takeaways from Failure of Nerve. However page 41 in Friedman’s book was life giving to me while in Cape Town S. Africa. Like my mentors experience on the beach of England, I was now experiencing along the water of the Atlantic Ocean. I wondered if there was something magical and refreshing of this ocean that gave my mentor and now me, so much life. I realized in Cape Town, that I had become so focused on finding the answers, that I was missing what was most important, shifting from answers to questions.
Friedman said this, “Questions are always more important than answers, because the way one frames the question predetermines the range of answers one can conceive in response.”[3] Sometimes we need to ask the right question, instead of trying to find the right answer. As I walked mile after mile in Cape town, trying to find answers to my problems, I realized I was no longer asking the right questions to my Heavenly Father, I needed to complete the paradigm shift. Change can be hard, but the transformation is worth it.
About the Author
Greg McMullen
Pastor Greg resides in Lake Stevens WA and pastors a small rural church in the Machias area . The Well Church has a large food ministry in which many different cultures come each week to gather food and counsel. The Church has a small school that is bearing good fruit. Pastor Greg has a large family of 10 children and enjoys fishing and hiking.3 responses to “Present!”
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Dear Greg,
Thank you for sharing your simple obedience in going back to pick up the dimes. I appreciate your example of listening to the voice of the Lord. At times it can seem silly or a little odd as to what He asks of us.
I am curious what questions God has placed on your heart? What are some of the questions God was asking in Cape Town? I am asking in response to:
Friedman said this, “Questions are always more important than answers, because the way one frames the question predetermines the range of answers one can conceive in response.”[3] Sometimes we need to ask the right question, instead of trying to find the right answer.
Greg, I always appreciate your openness and your willingness to grow as you never fail to inspire me to do the same. I’m curious if you’ve experienced changes in how you ask questions as a result of making an effort to be more present.
Caleb,
You are a great man of God and will do great things in your life and ministry. You have greatness in you. What I admire most about you is your smile and laugh. You have great knowledge, but seasoned with humility.
Ministry is truly about people. Discipleship is about spiritual sons and daughters in the faith, rather than how many people come to your meeting or attend your church. Moving from associate pastor to church planting has been a great undertaking. Not only church planting but having a large family, with four people in my family currently attending college.
Being present, really means giving more of yourself to that person or persons. Often, over the years of ministry, I am simply repenting more than implementing. The Holy Spirit reminds me of sermon, a mentor, what a teacher once said. I come back to a place of humility and repent. I listen more, say less, engage more, eye contact.
I have found most youth or young adults from 20 years ago don’t remember one of my sermons. They just remember I listened and loved them.
With me personally, I am a very task oriented person and strive for efficiency, planning, and time management. I have found that I am very selfish and self focused. Often I am simply repenting, dying to self, so I can be more present in others.
I truly believe the best training for this is having kids. Especially for men, to have daughters. To have tea parties, dress up with your daughter, to be present for your children helps you listen to what they need. Most of all, daughters want to know their daddy’s approve of them and that their beautiful. Sons want to know their dad is proud of them.
Being present, especially in family changes everything. I don’t say much at home, but my girls call my “Greggy Bear” and always want a hug. I have found over the years of counseling in ministry, most people don’t even need an answer to their problems. They just need someone in their corner who cares.
You have greatness in you Caleb. God has given you a great gift to help the people you shepherd. Keep smiling, keep laughing, keep loving people. Don’t let tasks, paperwork, financial stress, get in the way of being present in those God has given you.
God will provide!