Pass It Along
Coaching Little League baseball in the United States is both a challenging and fascinating sociological experience. On the one hand, you have the challenge of breaking down the complexities of baseball into “bite-sized,” understandable chunks. Seeking to find a clear and compelling way to explain to a 10-year-old that they cannot just keep running around the bases as much as they want, interrupted by the question, “Why?” To 
which you respond, “You’ll get out.” Followed by the natural question, “Why?” Exchanges like these are commonplace. With the challenges, you also have the opportunity to observe adults as they navigate while watching their children learn baseball. It is fascinating how some parents approach the game as a way to live vicariously through their children’s experiences. Trying to relive the glory days or perhaps succeeding where they once failed. In parenting, as well as any leadership endeavor, we have an opportunity to help people along. Give them advice and insight into what we wish we would have known. Many conversations with my kids involve statements like, “I wish I would have known…” or “I wish I would have learned ____ sooner.” In his book, “Clear Thinking,” Shane Parrish gives the reader many opportunities to exclaim, “I wish I would have known that sooner!” Full of helpful and pithy one-liners, Parrish offers the reader a perspective on thinking more clearly and making better decisions. In this post, I will consider one primary concept from the book and one helpful strategy for success.
Ego Death
Early in the book, Parrish identifies enemies of clear thinking. Among these enemies, he focuses on four as the most important. He calls them the emotional default, the ego default, the social default, and the inertia default. To mitigate these defaults, he identifies four key strengths that offer the power to overcome our defaults, allowing us to think more clearly and make good decisions. These four key strengths are self-accountability, self-knowledge, self-control, and self-confidence. While I would enjoy discussing, to a greater degree, all the defaults and strengths introduced, given the parameters of this post, I will focus on the ego default and a couple of techniques offered to subdue it.
Parrish Explains how the ego default essentially functions by stating, “We tend to react to anything that threatens our sense of self-worth or our position in a group hierarchy.” What Parrish refers to as the ego default, David Rock refers to as a biological survival instinct whereby the brain tries to maintain a high social status within a group. To overcome this natural response, we must understand some of its nuances. Our ego default is one in which our desire to feel right is at the expense of actually being right. We will spend time and energy trying to prove our idea is best, even if it is not. This reveals the absence of a critical ingredient in leadership: Humility. Much like the second phase described by Joseph Campbell in The Hero’s Journey, to overcome the ego default, we need to experience an ego death. The initial step in the right direction is knowing and admitting our weaknesses.
I Don’t Eat Sugar
However, admitting weakness is not enough if we want to be more effective thinkers. Parrish contends that if you do not take steps to manage weakness and blind spots, we will go with the defaults mentioned earlier. He suggests that establishing safeguards will help us manage our defaults. One suggested safeguard is establishing new behaviors to help us achieve our goals. 
Think of the new behaviors as Automatic Rules for Success. Using automatic rules can help us resist our default’s automatic responses. One way I have seen this play out in my own life is after learning of the effects of added sugar on my body through my cancer journey; I made a rule that I don’t eat anything with added sugar. Sobered by the nutritional threat, it was easy to make the rule. At first, people were shocked by the rule, and many responded in disbelief that I would never eat food with added sugar again. After 6 years, people don’t apply pressure, and many friends enjoy finding ways to help me enjoy a dessert free from added sugar. My goal was ongoing health. I had a history of unhealthy eating and making diet choices only to fail. True to Parrish’s point, rules can help us automate our behavior to achieve success in accomplishing goals.
Conclusion
Clear thinking requires knowing our defaults and deploying helpful strategies for managing and overcoming our weaknesses related to those defaults. Parrish does a good job of passing along several ideas I wish I had known earlier in life. Another one of those insights I would unpack if space allowed is wanting what matters—understanding the difference between knowing how to get what you want and knowing what is worth wanting.
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[1] Shane Parrish, Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results, (London, UK: Cornerstone Press, 2023).
[2] Shane Parrish, Clear Thinking, 10.
[3] Shane Parrish, Clear Thinking, 41.
[4] Shane Parrish, Clear Thinking, 10.
[5] David Rock, You Brain At Work, (New York: Harper Collins, 2009), 132.
[6] Joseph Campbell, The Hero with a Thousand Faces (Joseph Campbell Foundation, 2020).
[7] Shane Parrish, Clear Thinking, 96.
[8] Shane Parrish, Clear Thinking, 103.
[9] Shane Parrish, Clear Thinking, 221.
About the Author
Chad Warren
A husband, father, pastor, teacher, and student seeking to help others flourish.12 responses to “Pass It Along”
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Chad, I appreciate the clarity of your writing, not just in this blog but in the others that I have read. You do a great job and I have learned a lot from reading your stuff.
As we consider the defaults, how might you apply the gospel to these in addition to the strategies found in Clear Thinking?
Graham, thank you for the question. As I see it, what Parrish considers defaults, the Bible would identify as brokenness brought about by sin. It is clear we all will struggle to varying degrees with these defaults. The Gospel is the only true and lasting way to deal with these defaults. How? The Gospel (the good news that Jesus is King and has come, defeating death and sin) indicates that we have new life; we are new creations and are no longer bound to continue in these defaults. Empowered by the Holy Spirit, we can move beyond the defaults.
Thanks Chad! Since we’ve got room in the chat, how would you unpack the difference Parish discusses about what you mention as, “understanding the difference between knowing how to get what you want and knowing what is worth wanting”?
Ryan, what I have been processing about that concept goes back to one of the first books we were assigned in this program, “What’s Your Problem?” and how to reframe and understand the real problem we are trying to solve. Parrish’s point about knowing what you want is the real issue that informs how you get it. It forces one to frame the question correctly.
Chad,
Another great post. I cut sugar out of my coffee a while ago when I decided that I was finally an adult and no longer needed it. I like the idea Parrish applies with the rules. I have a friend who smokes about a pack a day. He has tried to quit numerous times and always fails. I told him that he is failing because he is telling himself that he is a smoker and he is trying to keep away from it. Instead, he should tell himself that he is not a smoker and not be in the smoking area. He needs to change the rules he is playing with. Other than sugar elimination, do you have other rules that you live by?
Adam, outside of several biblical rules I try to live by, I have some rules that prioritize my life-work balance, how and when I respond to emails and texts, how and when I deal with tasks, etc.
Hi Chad, I remember hearing your ‘no sugar’ rule when we were in England. It played out exactly like Parrish said – when you say it’s your ‘rule’ – people will accept that. Good for you for making the rule for yourself. How long did it take to become habit and normal for you?
Christy, that habit in particular was pretty immediate. Before the start of my chemo, I met with an oncology nutritionist, and he walked me through specific dietary protocols that would determine my health during my treatment plan. No sugar was one of those, and I started when I left his office. Given what was at stake, I didn’t really struggle to maintain the rule.
Hi Chad,
Thank you for your post. I enjoyed reading it. In your pastoral experience in what ways can the concept of ego death, as described in relation to the ego default by Parrish help individuals cultivate humility and improve decision-making processes?
Shela, thank you for your question. Another way of thinking about Ego Death is dying to self, which is what Paul describes in Philippians 2. Prioritizing the needs of others is a daily decision, and through the empowerment of the Holy Spirit, we can cultivate the same mind that was that of Christ.
Chad! Let me say, I really appreciate your posts. They are thoughtful, insightful, and well-written! As you look at the defaults Parrish mentions, which one poses the biggest threat to you in your ministry context?
Daren, of the defaults mentioned by Parrish, the ego default by far poses the most significant threat in my context. As a pastor, I am constantly fighting the temptation to find my value and identity in what others think or how well I think I am doing rather than in Christ.