Partnership at Home, Flourishing in Ministry
In her book, Growing Women in Ministry: Seven Aspects of Leadership Development, Anna R. Morgan explores various aspects of developing and thriving women in ministry. For the sake of this blog post, I’m going to focus on aspect 4 from chapter 6: Female Leaders Formed by Home Life [1].
While many aspects hinder female leadership in ministry, this one can prevent a female leader from even starting. For married women, it’s crucial to have support from their husbands. Morgan says it frankly, “Without her husband’s support, either her ministry leadership ends or her marriage ends.” [2] It’s a harsh statement, but for many women who are fully committed to their families and equally trying to pursue God’s calling on their lives, this is the reality they may face. This, however, doesn’t mean that a woman in ministry has to sit around helpless, subject to the effects of her husband’s support (or lack thereof). Instead, this is about how women thriving in ministry is a partnership with her spouse.
In my context, women are being given opportunities in ministry like never before. Many churches that were once strict complementarian are now welcoming increased leadership roles for women. Unfortunately, while churches’ theology supports women leaders, they may functionally fall short. “Empowering a wife requires more than a perspective change…[without shared practice] additional hurdles [are created] for women leaders.” [3] The issue is not only what churches teach, but what husbands do. The pressures of family and ministry can be two full-time jobs in themselves. If a woman works 9 am – 5 pm Monday through Friday, she is working 40 hours a week. If she devotes mornings (6-8 am) and evenings (6 – 8 pm) Monday through Friday, and all day on the weekends (8 am – 8 pm) to her family, she’s adding another 40+ hours to her schedule. It can feel like an impossible situation. How could she possibly give up either? But something needs to give. How can she choose?
With her husband’s support, she may not have to make a choice. “When a husband views his role as stewarding his wife’s calling, he carries a sense of responsibility for her leadership success.” [4] Notice the difference. Morgan isn’t saying that the husband only gives permission or tolerates her ministry. She’s saying the husband partners and champions his wife’s ministry. This, however, requires a man who is secure in his own calling and is not primarily focused on their own comforts. [5] Practical ways to express this are:
- Sharing household responsibilities without resentment
- Seeing childcare as a privilege, a responsibility, and a kingdom contribution, not a “favor” or “extra credit”
Morgan writes, “For women to achieve full access to leadership… men will have to step up and share more equally in family responsibilities.” [6]
In her book, Developing Female Leaders: Navigate the Minefields and Release the Potential of Women in Your Church, Kadi Cole argues that women often leave leadership opportunities on the table, not because of a lack of gifting, but because the barriers are too great. [7] She warns about the “glass cliff,” where women are given opportunities in leadership that are high-risk. In some ways, home life can be that glass cliff. Even the most high-functioning women have their limits when exhaustion fractures her capabilities. Morgan highlights that women shoulder 75% of household responsibilities and that only 9% of dual-earning couples share childcare evenly. These are not minor inconveniences; they are leadership-limiting forces. [8]
There is a temptation for women to become bitter about these inequities at home, carrying narratives of husbands not making space for their wives to lead. I have felt that weight, but staying in resentment does not build the Kingdom. Scripture consistently calls us to courage:
- “Be strong and courageous” (Joshua 1:9, NIV)
- “Let us not become weary in doing good” (Galatians 6:9, NIV)
- “God has not given us a spirit of fear” (2 Timothy 1:7, KJV)
Our call, then, is not to pretend that these barriers don’t exist, but to cultivate resilience. We cannot deny God’s calling on our lives, regardless of the shortcomings of others.
My encouragement to women leaders is to not have a heart of resentment, but gratitude to God for resiliency and sustaining us through times when the tensions felt unbearable. For me personally, now that my children are older, the acute pressure has eased, yet the need for equitable partnership remains for many women.
References
[1] Morgan, Anna R. Growing Women in Ministry: Seven Aspects of Leadership Development. Baker Academic, 2024.
[2] Ibid, 85
[3] Ibid, 85–86
[4] Ibid, 86
[5] Ibid, 87
[6] Ibid, 91
[7] Cole, Kadi. Developing Female Leaders: Navigate the Minefields and Release the Potential of Women in Your Church. Thomas Nelson, 2019.
[8] Morgan, 94.
About the Author
Christy
4 responses to “Partnership at Home, Flourishing in Ministry”
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Christy,
Since you focused on homelife I will ask you does your husband create an extra 7 hours of housework each week for you? You don’t have to answer that question. I asked Ryan this question but let me ask you as well. I love the example you gave of the extra 40 hours/week doing work around the house on top of working outside the home. Do you think that given this scenario, women feel like they can actually practice the habit of sabbath? If not, how would you envision the church helping out?
Hi Christy, I appreciate that you chose to focus on home life, as more than 75% of our time is spent away from work. Additionally, not everyone has the same experience, and without considering it, it could leave women who don’t have support think that they are the problem rather than looking for a solution. Of the three scriptures you mentioned, does any one resonate more with you than the others?
Dr. Christy,
Thank you for highlighting the importance of a woman’s home life and how it contributes to her flourishing in ministry leadership. I often struggle to fully grasp the pressures married women face, as I’m single and have more freedom to come and go as I please (apart from the responsibilities of my cat child). I really appreciated your reminder about guarding against a heart of resentment—it’s such a needed perspective. What has your journey looked like in healing from resentment and cultivating a healthy heart in ministry?
Christy, I appreciate you addressing the household discrepencies. I have only seen one couple where house life was shared with a healthy balance. Both spouses had nights to cook with weekend meals were shared. He did a little more with the kids, she did more of the logistics. She covered cleaning and he dealt with the cars. This balance showed great fruit in their ministries.
I would be interested in hearing how single women can come alongside moms who are being overwhelmed with ministry and house life. What would have been helpful for you when your kids were little?