Of What Manner or Spirit are You?
Since returning to the United States in 2014, I have been confused by the political and social climate. The reverse culture shock of returning home where everyone is clamoring to be heard, no one is listening, and sides must be taken has been difficult to navigate. After decades of embracing collectivistic cultures in which the needs of the individual are generally set aside for the benefit of the group and personal opinions on public matters are kept to oneself, I’m not sure what to think or how to respond. My identity as an American seems awkwardly out of step with mainstream culture. The extremes are challenging, especially during a season in which I believe my voice matters.
In Identity: The Demand for Dignity and the Politics of Resentment, author Francis Fukuyama states, “Demand for recognition of one’s identity is a master concept that unifies much of what is going on in world politics today” and argues that the demand for recognition cannot be satisfied by economic means.[1] If this is true, the importance of recognition, of being seen, heard, accepted, and understood is a more powerful force in the world than I imagined. Regardless of the cultural, socio-economic, or political atmosphere I encounter, the issues of identity and the demand for recognition will always be at play.
Fukuyama’s historical, religious, philosophical, and psychological timeline is insightful. Noting how the protestant reformation, the modernization of Europe, expanded trade, and technological advances contributed to changing ideas about identity he writes, “…broader social and economic changes meant individuals suddenly had more choice and opportunity in their lives…with new horizons opening up, the question, “Who am I?” suddenly became more relevant.[2] More relevant for some, but not for all. Psychologist Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs comes to mind. Is the concept of self-actualization skewed by expressive individualism to the point of rejecting the dignity of human beings with whom we disagree, do not understand, or fear?
Shockingly, we do not have universal agreement regarding the dignity of all people and lack in our response to social injustice. However, as Christians we have the biblical mandate and a role model in Jesus to love all and care for the needs of our fellow man. Even Abraham Maslow came to the conclusion that another layer to his hierarchy, which he called transcendence, was necessary. In The Farther Reaches of Human Existence he writes, “Transcendence refers to the very highest and most inclusive or holistic levels of consciousness, behaving, and relating, as ends rather than means, to oneself, to significant others, to human beings in general, to other species, to nature, and to the cosmos.”[3]
According to Fukuyama, the modern concept of identity unites three different phenomena: how the human personality craves recognition; the distinction between the inner self and outer self in relationship to one’s value in society; and the dignity of all persons.[4] Fukuyama asserts, “The modern concept of identity places a supreme value on authenticity, on validation of that inner being that is not allowed to express itself.”[5] This is a very modern and western idea. One point that confuses me is the idea that identity must be shaped to support democracy.[6] I think the issue and purpose of shaping our identity is bigger than the end result of democracy.
Issues of recognition and identity have roots that go deeper than social norms, cultural differences, politics, and economics. Human beings have been seeking recognition and validation since the Fall. When we don’t get external validation from our peers, we become resentful and angry. In many cases rightfully so! I see the need for recognition and validation within myself and in my counseling office daily as I listen to others who likewise struggle. Resentment and anger can be turned inward resulting in shame, low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety. It can be turned outward impacting relationships, behaviors, and mental health. Is it possible that what we once had with God and what God longs to restore within us we are actually seeking in all the wrong places?
Resentment and unresolved anger are heavy burdens. The truth is I have the responsibility to attend to the issues that arise from my own character, behavior, thoughts, and feelings when dealing with a lack of personal recognition and validation. I believe integrating the concepts of self-differentiation, non-anxious presence, and becoming undefended as a leader will address my human need for recognition. Validation which is internal and rooted in the eternal will demand less recognition from others.
So, how will I respond to hurting individuals longing for recognition, validation, and voice? How do I validate the dignity and experiences of another without invalidating someone else’s or my own? I keep coming back to Jesus and the self-emptying leadership style Simon Walker identified as foundational to all other styles.[7]
What did Jesus do when he faced a lack of recognition?
After talking through this week’s reading with my husband we settled into to our morning lectio divina practice. The reading that morning was Luke 9:51-56 when Jesus met with Samaritan opposition on his way to Jerusalem. This is what I noticed:
- Jesus remained non-anxious and differentiated
- Jesus stayed the course of his conviction and purpose
- Jesus accepted the lack of recognition for what it was and moved on
- James and John angered by the lack of recognition made murderous threats
- Jesus corrected James and John with the words, “You do not know what manner or spirit you are of. For the Son of Man did not come to destroy men’s lives but to save them.” (NKJV)
Reflections: How does my need for recognition play out in my interactions with others? In what spirit will I respond?
[1] Francis Fukuyama, Identity: The Demand for Dignity and the Politics of Resentment (New York: Picador, 2018), xv.
[2] Fukuyama, Identity, 36.
[3] A. H. Maslow, The Further Reaches of Human Nature (New York: Penguin, 1971), 269.
[4] Fukuyama, Identity, 37.
[5] Ibid., 36-37.
[6] Ibid., Back cover.
[7] Simon P. Walker, Leading with Nothing to Lose: Training in the Excercise of Power (Carlisle, UK: Piquant Editions, 2007), 147-148.
About the Author
Jenny Dooley
Jenny served as a missionary in Southeast Asia for 28 years. She currently resides in Gig Harbor, Washington, where she works as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Spiritual Director in private practice with her husband, Eric. Jenny loves to listen and behold the image of God in others. She enjoys traveling, reading, and spending time with her family which include 5 amazing adult children, 3 awesome sons-in-law, a beautiful daughter-in-law, and 8 delightful grandchildren.8 responses to “Of What Manner or Spirit are You?”
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Your post resonated deeply with what I often feel with feeling out of step with society and yet knowing one’s voice is important. It does take questioning one’s own motives and living in step with the Holy Spirit to help to know what to say, when to say it and how to say it. Your question, “How does my need for recognition play out in my interactions with others?” and “In what spirit will I respond?” gives a good basis for deeper introspection so as to remain undefended and self-differentiated.
Hi Esther,
I am beginning to think a lot of people feel out of step with society. It feels like society in general demands us to present a false self. I am realizing more and more how we all long to be welcomed for who we are, treated with dignity, recognized, and validated as beloved. I know when I feel that welcomed I am at peace with myself. I had a client once share with me how they were working on being less self-conscience. Instead of walking into a room thinking “Here I am!” (followed by…”Now what do I do?”) my client began saying, “There you are!” shifting the focus from self to that of someone else in the room. I believe the idea came from a book that I have since forgotten. I like the mindset and intentionality of seeing and engaging with another person, all while knowing God is saying, “There you are” to me, to all of us.
Jenny, you said a couple of things that I wanted to highlight. First, you said, “Regardless of the cultural, socio-economic, or political atmosphere I encounter, the issues of identity and the demand for recognition will always be at play.” And later, you wrote, “I think the issue and purpose of shaping our identity is bigger than the end result of democracy.” I couldn’t agree more. I wonder if Fukuyama (and I wrestled with his conclusions, which were all ensconced in the realm of the political sphere or policy) felt he needed to stay in the lane of promoting good “policy” because that was the arc of his book? I think it’s hard to tackle the weight of personal responsibility, and dealing with our own identity as image bearers, when it comes to some of the subjects he brought up. These are subjects that can certainly have a both-and solution…like immigration, for example. There are ways to advocate for immigrants and refugees in my city that may take on a public policy route, but there is also a route to being a good neighbor that may involve personal sacrifice and helping to come alongside a new neighbor without outsourcing neighborliness to the public sphere alone (am I making sense?). I tried to deal with this a bit in my blog post at the end, quoting James D. Hunter. I think you nailed it stating, “However, as Christians we have the biblical mandate and a role model in Jesus to love all and care for the needs of our fellow man.” This could demand “solutions” that go beyond policy but could involve personal and corporate (i.e, my local church) acts of humility, mercy, and justice. Great post.
Hi Travis, Thanks for responding to my post. I love that you brought up the both-and of solutions…the personal/good neighbor response and the policy/corporate response. I have been thinking more about Fukuyama’s context and Simon Walker stating that all leadership is social-emotional. I appreciate so much that Fukuyama brought this language around dignity and identity into the realm of politics and policy. It helps me get a clearer handle on the anger, fear, and polarization we have been experiencing. The issue of identity, how we see ourselves in the world, and ultimately as image bearers of God have both personal and public ramifications.
Hi Jenny,
I connect with your thoughts on “reintegration in to U.S. culture” I lived 30 years overseas and I have to say my identity might just be an “odd duck.” Starting from boy from Hawaii, to U.S. Army Officer, to missionary in Hungary, I certainly have multiple identities. My family and I really didn’t fit in when we came back to Fort Worth. Two of my children were still learning English and we took a while to get our feet back under us. Sigh.
Somehow it seemed simpler when we lived and worked to expand the kingdom. Our identity of “missionary” simplified things.
You wrote: How does my need for recognition play out in my interactions with others?
To be frank, I don’t ever see you display a need for recognition. Instead I see you as a place of peace and refuge for those who need a safe harbor.
In what spirit will I respond?
My experience with you is that you respond guided by the Holy Spirit. Can’t do better than that.
Shalom, Shalom
Hi Russell,
Thank you for your kind words. I miss my “simpler “life in Asia. The unnecessary distractions were fewer, the pace of life slower, and my purpose clearer. The “multiple identities” you mentioned is challenging to navigate. It has been wonderful to be back “home” this week. I feel more like myself here in Asia than I do in the US. I wonder if that will ever change. My heart really feels torn between two worlds. How do you mange your multiple identities and the question…where is home?
Home is where Trudy (my wife) is. We have moved a lot of times and home has never been a place, but where my family is.
Praying for your workshop.
Shalom…
The most beautiful answer! Praying for your workshop as well!