My NPO: Diminishing Joy in Lead Pastors
Today, as I write this blog, I recall Dr. Jason Clark mentioning a book that he is in the process of writing about pain and leadership. On the Zoom call, I said, somewhat in jest, yet also quite seriously, “Hustle up on writing that book Dr. Clark because I need it for my NPO.”
I meant it. It’s true.
Here is my NPO: Foursquare Lead Pastors are increasingly burning out and/or leaving the ministry, and it may be due to a combination of waning soul care, diminishing joy, undue expectations, and an under-developed theology of suffering.
I have been a senior pastor for just over 30 years now, and I can attest to the significance of these factors. I have personally struggled in each of these areas at various times in my ministry.
I have failed to actively care for my soul and it has bled out into my life, marriage, preaching, and friendships.
I have [more than occasionally] sensed a diminishing joy and vitality in serving the Lord and His Church, especially in the last few years.
I have felt the crushing weight of undue expectations placed upon me by congregational members, denominational leaders, as well as by MYSELF (I’m often my own worst enemy).
I have misunderstood and/or minimized a fully formed theological understanding of what Paul declared in Philippians 3:10, “I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death.”
These are all elements of my unfolding NPO, and I sincerely believe the forthcoming book by Dr. Jason Clark will be of utmost assistance in my research. But until then I have Rare Leadership and Rare Leadership in the Workplace by Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, both of which so clearly articulated concepts pertinent to my NPO (and my overall life!).
Warner and Wilder say “We all suffer. We all endure hardship. What separates maturity from immaturity is the ability to suffer well” (Workplace, 15). They go on to say “Joy makes it much easier to bounce back from the hard things that happen throughout the day.” They believe the human brain was designed for joy. It is a “joy-seeking machine [that] seeks joy above every other human experience” (Rare Leadership, 51).
Nehemiah 8:10 encourages us that “the joy of the Lord is our strength.” What if that “joy” is diminished and/or absent? How much strength do we as pastoral leaders have to draw from then? I know from experience that the answer is: little to none. How do we restore that joy? In the words of Warner and Wilder, how do we bounce back? What do pastors (specifically Lead Pastors) do when the “hits just keep on coming,” as evidenced over the last few years?
In April 2022, The Barna Group published an extensive body of research about clergy burnout. The data shows that pastors’ confidence and satisfaction in their vocation has decreased significantly, and two in five (41%) say they’ve considered quitting ministry in the last 12 months. The top reported reasons for clergy burnout were: stress, loneliness and political division.
Yep, that sounds ’bout right.
So much of this became evident in and around 2020. Lest you think those days are far behind us, believe me when I say, 2024 is shaping up to look a lot like 2020. Same song, second verse. I recall saying to a close friend, “If we go through all that sh*t again, I think I may just quit.” Even though I used an asterisk, I apologize for the dicey language. I started cussing during Covid.
Stress. Loneliness. Political division. Yep, that sounds ’bout right.
In November 2023, the World Heath Organization declared LONELINESS to be a global public health concern. Yep, that sounds ’bout right.
Former pastor and current leadership guru Carey Nieuwhof, have given us 11 Signs You’re in Burnout. The article is worth reading in its entirety, however here are the eleven signs in bullet form:
- You have no passion
- You no longer feel the highs or the lows
- Your emotional reactions are not appropriate
- Everybody drains you
- You’re becoming cynical
- Nothing satisfies you
- You can’t think straight (brain fog)
- Your productivity is dropping
- You’re self-medicating
- You don’t laugh anymore
- Sleep and time off no longer refuel you
Yep, that sounds ’bout right.
Now, lest this entire blog post be a gross regurgitation of all the sad problems we face, I want to turn a corner to “return to joy.” Warner and Wilder assert that “returning to joy may just be the most important habit you can develop as a leader” (Rare Leadership, 171). To do so we are invited to “act like ourselves” by validating the emotions we so often feel, and allowing ourselves to receive comfort from the Lord, others, as well as, ourselves. Lastly, Warner and Wilder implore us to “repattern” our habits that help us return to joy.
Recently I interviewed Dr. Chris Adams, the lead researcher for the Flourishing in Ministry project, and a consultant with the Duke Clergy Health Initiative. In my conversation he quoted Dr. Archibald Hart, a giant in the faith that went to be with the Lord in July 2021. Dr. Hart said this to Dr. Adams, “Pastors don’t get into difficulty because they forget they are pastors…they get into difficulty because they forget they are persons.”
Yep, that sounds ’bout right. Hurry up with that book, Dr. Clark.
About the Author
John Fehlen
John Fehlen is currently the Lead Pastor of West Salem Foursquare Church. Prior to that he served at churches in Washington and California. A graduate of Life Pacific University in San Dimas, CA in Pastoral Ministry, and Vanguard University in Costa Mesa, CA with a Masters in Leadership and Spirituality. He and his wife Denise have four grown children and four grandchildren. John is the author of "Don't Give Up: Encouragement for Weary Souls in Challenging Times," a book for pastoral leaders, a children's book called "The Way I See You," and the forthcoming "Leave A Mark: The Jouney of Intentional Parenting." You can connect with John on Instagram (@johnfehlen) as well as at johnfehlen.substack.com.8 responses to “My NPO: Diminishing Joy in Lead Pastors”
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John,
I am still reading through and thinking/praying through both books on R.A.R.E. Leadership. First, good for you to be blatantly honest about the ebb and flow of joy as a senior pastor. Has the joylessness and loneliness always been this persistent or only since 2014? Or 2020?
Second, Might you dream a little dream and describe what your job/ministry feel like and look like on your terms? The Body of Christ needs shepherds. You are called to lead the flock. What if you could recreate your role?
Pam, your reply has stuck with me now for a couple of days, and the challenge to “recreate my role” has been one that I have endeavored a number of times over a number of years. When Tim Clark and I get away on our pastoral retreats, we will often dream that little dream, because in the words of Henry Cloud in “Boundaries for Leaders” says: “you are ridiculously in charge!”
If I were to have my recreated dream role it would be what I have already established as my core roles:
1. Train Leaders
2. Inspire Followers
3. Pastor a Community.
Unfortunately, I experience mission creep, and the pull of admin, staffing, people drama, etc etc. like so many pastors do. I don’t know quite how to get around all that.
But here’s to dreaming!
Yep, that sounds ’bout right.
I actually had to take a DEEP breath and wipe away a single tear after reading your post. As you know the last 5 years have been the hardest years of my ministry, and my life.
YET… something is stirring in me that I will learn in a fresh way how to grow more relational, act like the person God has matured me to be, return to joy, and endure suffering (that has come and will come) well. The crazy thing is this book simply put into words the things I was already sensing were so necessary in my life in this season.
Because I’m a Foursquare Pastor who has gotten increasingly close to burning out and/or leaving the ministry, and it IS due to a combination of waning soul care, diminishing joy, undue expectations, and an under-developed theology of suffering.”
Yep, that sounds ’bout right…
… so hurry up and finish that NPO!!!
For many years now, Tim, you and I have been teaching and training people with the very things we need to (further) develop in our own personal lives.
Such is the case with my NPO…I want to quit. I am in varying stages of burnout. Now, I know it’s due to school, church, etc. etc. etc. And I could easily say, “it’s a season, and it’ll pass, and I’ll be better,” but we both know that these seasons keep on a coming!
I think there is such a key to “return to joy.” I don’t think I keep including the phrase “diminishing joy” in my NPO for no reason. There’s something there. I need to put my finger on it. Soon.
Hi John,
Thank you for writing so vulnerably and for naming the suffering pastors and ministry leaders face while serving the body of Christ. Philippians 3:10 and James 1:2 were constant companions to me during an intense time of suffering while on the mission field. It was the isolation and loneliness that added to my pain. Enduring suffering well is a tough challenge. There is power and transformation available to us when we suffer. I started noting those who endured great hardships well and came out of their experience of suffering with a sweet presence of Jesus about them. A dear lady in her late 80s, who was a friend to me when I was a college, comes to mind. She was worthy of imitating. I don’t even come close to the grace that I experienced with her, but I was inspired and held onto hope by her story and faithful witness. Who are those people worthy of imitating in the way they endure suffering for you?
Jenny, your words are deeply comforting to me. They are laced with maturity, sensitivity and wisdom. Thank you.
You’ve asked a very important question of me, and I am, pensively trying to answer it with actual names of people that I am want to imitate. A few faces come to mind, but admittedly not many. The modern evangelical church has overly prioritized youth, speed, relevancy, and, well, the cool factor. And it’s hurting us overall – if not hurting us – it’s certainly not helping us.
John, I should have just cut and pasted your post into my notes for the presentation I gave last week to a group of pastors. Word for word.
I will be most curious about your findings around the “under-developed theology of suffering” part of your NPO. By the way, when we are in D.C., we need to compare our bibliographies, as my NPO is not too dissimilar from yours, though I am writing from the context of a presbytery.
Thank you for highlighting the “suffering well” quote from Warner and Wilder’s book. I do think that is a bigger part of the “wicked problem” that we are dealing with in our varied camps. I don’t know too many leaders in my tribe who are suffering well. In fact, I don’t know too many folks who, when they begin suffering, stay the course with joy. There are a few who come to mind, but not many.
Great post, John, as always.
Thank you for your kind words Travis.
Let’s do compare notes. Better yet, will you write my Research Essay? Pretty please?
Suffering well…yah, about that. It’s not easy, which is, I guess, the point. And I too don’t know many that have navigated it well.
It’s beyond the scope of my research but a massive elephant in the evangelical room is how “we” handle fallen leaders. Talk about suffering. These women and men are deeply suffering, often by their own poor decisions, and by and large, are NOT going through it well, both personally and denominationally. I’ve lost count on how many of my peers are out of the game. Out. Done. With no foreseeable plan or process of re-engagement. that’s a whole other route our NPO’s could have gone. Maybe for my next degree! Kidding.