Nicodemus welcomed Jesus backstage
How then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things?
Simon Walker, in his book Leading out of Who You Are, brilliantly “steals like an artist” [1] and adopts Erving Goffman’s theory on human behavior with “the metaphor of a theatre.” [2] He describes people having a front stage where they can present themselves well and gain favor from others. He also describes a person as also having a backstage where someone “struggles with unmet needs and unresolved problems. [3] This metaphor serves well in unpacking psychological and spiritual dynamics which take place in a person’s inner world. Let’s look at how this took place in Nicodemus’ conversation with Jesus. Nicodemus came to Jesus and began to have his “glossy image” as a Pharisaical leader dismantled. [4] We will see how this conversation allowed for Nicodemus’ backstage to not be a “place of fear;” but instead a place where pursuing conversation with Jesus produces “fruitful exploration.” [5]
In John 3, this conversation of eternal proportions ensues between Nicodemus and Jesus. Nicodemus has a need to process his backstage conflict, relating directly to Jesus. So it is to Jesus that he opens the backstage door. “The leader’s backstage may become the repository for all that cannot be made visible- the doubts, the confusions, the ambiguities, and the defeats.” [6] A private meeting was sought:
“Now there was a Pharisee, a man named Nicodemus who was a member of the Jewish ruling council. He came to Jesus at night and said, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the signs you are doing if God were not with him. John 3:2-3
It is curious that Nicodemus says that “we know that you are a teacher.” Is he speaking for himself or on behalf of the Pharisees with whom he is associated with? Jesus states in verse 11, “but still you people do not accept our testimony. I have not spoken to you of earthly things but still you people do not accept our testimony.” This possibly addresses Nicodemus’ reluctance to take a personal stand to believe who Jesus says he is, which is a manifestation of doubt backstage. This being stated, Jesus doesn’t miss a beat in engaging Nicodemus as this ‘ruling council member’ sought Jesus alone, at night, hoping to gain attention from the one whom he believed had power from God. is an undefended leader who welcomes dialogue around thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. Walker states, “Collaboration always involves creating space for other people genuinely to express themselves.” [7]
Jesus boldly asserts that “no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.” v.3 When Nicodemus doesn’t understand how someone might enter a mother’s womb to be reborn, his confusion would be understandable to anyone eavesdropping on this conversation. But Jesus asks him, “I have spoken to you of earthly things, and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things?” Jesus is introducing a paradigm shift from things of the world to His kingdom; it is this kingdom that Nicodemus should have some knowledge of. John 3:10 “You are Israel’s teacher,” said Jesus, “and you do not understand these things?” Jesus, as an undefended leader, knows himself, not for his own benefit but for the benefit of his followers. Walker states that it is important “to not only know ourselves but to be free from ourselves.” [8] Jesus, knowing Himself and being free of Himself, knows Nicodemus may choose to reject him, but Jesus remains implacable.
This metaphor remained difficult for Nicodemus to grasp. For greater understanding, Jesus recounts the Old Testament story of the snake in the wilderness which Moses lifted for the nation of Israel to be healed. Jesus stated that “Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, that everyone who believes may have eternal life in Him.” (John 3:14-15) This Old Testament reference would be familiar to Nicodemus. Jesus spoke to Nicodemus as one who was well versed in Scripture. Jesus approached Nicodemus believing he had a higher ability to make abstractions. In Levine and Heller’s book Attached, they state that “Bowlby speculated, attachment continues to play a major role throughout our entire lifespan. The difference is that adults are capable of a higher level of abstraction, so our need for the other person’s continuous physical presence can at times be temporarily replaced by the knowledge that the person is available to us psychologically and emotionally.” [9] Jesus knew that Nicodemus had the ability to understand spiritual truths and made His relationship (a spiritual one)- the focal point of the conversation.
Jesus had the final word in this conversation; I believe this reflects Jesus’ secure ego. It may be that trust was being established in the relationship with Nicodemus, as Jesus explained who he was. Attachment theory helps explain what Jesus was about. “John Bowlby’s work has been seminal in developing an appreciation of the role of trust in forming our ego. Trust is, to put it simply, the degree to which you can rely upon a relationship. It is like a rope between two people: how strong the trust determines the weight it can bear.” [10] Jesus, in essence, left no slack in the rope he was holding with Nicodemus. He was saying, “Do you trust me to be who I say that I am?” Nicodemus sought out Jesus to have a safe conversation where issues in his backstage might be explored. Jesus provided the trust that Nicodemus might need in the relationship Jesus offered him, as Jesus explained who he was. A demonstration of personal belief was not noted by Biblical authors until we find Nicodemus bringing Jesus’ burial spices to Jesus’ body in John 19:39. Nicodemus demonstrated personal belief in Jesus, based on a secure attachment due to a conversation when Jesus had been invited backstage.
[1] Austin Kleon, Steal Like an Artist, 2012
[2] Walker, Simon. Leading Out of Who You Are, Discovering the Secret of Undefended Leadership. 2007, p.24
[3] Ibid.27
[4] Ibid. 33
[5] Ibid. 33
[6] Ibid. 26
[7] Ibid. 45
[8] Ibid. 47
[9] Amir Levine, Rachel Heller. Attached. 2011, p.24
[10] Ibid. 54
About the Author
Kristy Newport
2 responses to “Nicodemus welcomed Jesus backstage”
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Fantastic post, Kristy! I enjoyed the story illustrated through a lens of secure and fragile egos, front and backstage leadership and psychological and emotional conflicts. Your research was spot-on and the Nicodemus story was a perfect example. I believe Nicodemus wrote his own “Hero’s Journey” with the little that we know about him and you unpacked it brilliantly with phenomenal references.
I was drawn to your comment, “This conversation of eternal proportions ensues between Nicodemus and Jesus.” This is very true. I wish we knew more about him. I remember he spoke up about Jesus’ trial and also took part in the anointing of the body. This definitely shows trust but did he have faith that he was the Messiah? I would like to believe so. He displayed some front-stage leadership but I don’t know if it was short-lived or not. This post created a desire to research even more on Nicodemus and his leadership after the crucifixion. Thank you, Kristy!
Thank you Michael,
I would love to know more about Nicodemus as well! If I would be answering these questions: What is a pharisee? and what were the requirements to be one? I would also like to investigate burial practices in Judaism. What did it mean for Nicodemus to bring spices to Jesus body? Would this ritual be witnessed by others or would Nicodemus have done this privately, without notice? I personally believe that Nicodemus had faith in Jesus due to John19:39.
Let’s be like Nicodemus and continue to invite Jesus to our backstage! I also want to be like the woman at the well who was a Samaritan. After she spoke with Jesus, she wanted to tell everyone about Him!
Thank you for commenting on my blog!