Navigating Challenging (not impossible) Curriculum Conversations
Our Children’s Ministry is in the process of adopting a new curriculum. The curriculum resource we are currently using was adopted just after the pandemic. It was purchased because it fit our scope & sequence, Biblical foundation, and spiritual formation benchmarks for kids. It also had components that fit our needs during the pandemic. Currently, we are in the process of exploring other curriculum resources, and it has not been an easy task. There are curriculum resources that lean theologically one way or another, and everyone on the team has particular opinions about how the material should be taught to kids in large-group and small-group settings. As I lead the team, I have invited several stakeholders into the process of researching three curriculum resources along with some criteria for making a decision. As I mentioned, each stakeholder has an opinion about what is important and what is not. One stakeholder wants to avoid any curriculum that uses screens to convey a message. Another stakeholder wants more of a catechism type of format. The stakeholder I am having impossible conversations with feels strongly about avoiding using Old Testament stories to teach concepts of faith, questioning the relevancy of Old Testament lessons for people in the 21st century, except for pointing to God’s Bigger Story.
In a recent lesson (using our current curriculum), the kids learned about Joshua & The Walls of Jericho. The Bible verse that the kids were learning along with the story was “Be strong and very brave. Make sure you obey the whole law my servant Moses gave you. Do not turn away from it to the right or the left. Then you will have success everywhere you go.” Joshua 1:7, NIrV. The stakeholder with strong feelings about using Old Testament stories to teach faith concepts to kids was disturbed that the lesson point was “God’s instructions for us are good, so I can follow them right away.” In a past conversation, the person expressed disappointment with a lesson that taught kids to “Trust God and do not fear,” mentioning that it sets children up for not being okay with their emotions, particularly fear. This view is an outlier compared with those of others on the team. As I listen to this stakeholder’s opinion, something inside me is saying, “There is more to the story.” While I believe that “all scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness (2 Timothy 3:16-17), if I do not listen to this person’s perspective, I cannot understand where she may be coming from. Her perspective might not be grounded in evidence but rather in something much more personal, even if it seems irrational. In the meantime, I am coaching the team as we make a curriculum change and meeting individually with this stakeholder to learn more.
In our reading this week, the authors of the book How to Have Impossible Conversations, Peter Boghossian and James Lindsay, offer practical strategies for communicating effectively with people who hold radically different beliefs. [1] Impossible conversations are ” futile because they take place across a seemingly unbridgeable gulf of disagreement in ideas, beliefs, morals, politics, or worldviews.” [2] I appreciated that the authors mentioned that beliefs can change, noting good and bad ways to change them, with conversation being good and force being bad. [3] The collaborative nature of conversation allows people to ponder what they believe and potentially experience some shifts in their thinking. The book also emphasizes building rapport, listening without assumptions, and treating others as partners in dialogue. People can foster open communication that respects differences without compromising personal views by avoiding defensiveness and encouraging honest questioning.
When it comes to making a curriculum decision, like the scenario mentioned above, specific criteria and benchmarks for evaluation, scales for measuring those benchmarks, and, most importantly, revisiting our ministry goals and outcomes allow data to be used to make an informed decision in the end. The entire process is enveloped in prayer. Interestingly, while I am leading a curriculum shift in my ministry context, I am also leading an ELA curriculum change with a team of leaders in my school district. It is a testament to how God provides for all my needs, equipping me with professional tools to launch programs in both settings.
[1] Peter Boghossian and James Lindsay, How to Have Impossible Conversations: A Very Practical Guide, (New York: Hachette, 2019), 1.
[2] Ibid, 3.
[3] Ibid, 5.
About the Author
Cathy Glei
Cathy Glei serves as an instructional leader and pastor with over 27 years in education and ministry. She is dedicated to discipling others as they grow in their relationship with God, others and the world. Cathy has facilitated numerous professional development sessions, trainings, and workshops in both education and ministry. Passionate about supporting others in uncovering the Creator's design within them, Cathy lives in Michigan with her husband, Steve, and their eight-year-old Springer Spaniel, Otis. Cathy is a mother of three daughters and "Gooma" (grandma) to two adorable grandsons (emphasis on adorable 😊). She enjoys listening and exchanging laughter and stories with others, hanging out with friends, both old and new, as well as being outdoors, enjoying activities such as cycling, camping, hiking, and kayaking.3 responses to “Navigating Challenging (not impossible) Curriculum Conversations”
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Hi Cathy,
Thank you for your inspiring posts, especially on dialogue with people with different perspectives on understanding and believing in the Scriptures. Congratulations also on the launch of the new program. I was intrigued by your post, “People can foster open communication that respects differences without compromising personal views by avoiding defensiveness and encouraging honest questioning.” Based on your experience, what practical steps are important to build open communication so impossible conversations become possible and comfortable?
Blessings.
Hey Dinka,
Thank you for asking. Practical steps that I have found to be important for open communication is investment in relationships and active listening. When I do the work of getting to know a person and I am able to better understand their perspective. When I refer to actively listening, I am referring to listening, asking questions, being emotionally present, and being authentic in my responses. Hope you and your family are well. We are nearing the end of the semester.
Hey Cathy. Thanks for sharing this curriculum challenge. I really appreciate your detailed understanding of the issue. I have a simply question. How are you going to deal with this challenge? Or to say it in a different way, What is the next step for you? As always, thanks for your post.