More Is (not) Better
According to authors Daniel Lieberman and Michael Long, dopamine’s motto is “more.”[1] Funny, I thought it was my motto.
The banquet was the final event at a 12-Step conference and my husband was the only person in the group not in recovery. We had been through the buffet line and were sitting down to eat at a large round table in a hotel ballroom. My husband looked around the large table and wondered out loud, “Why did everyone already pick up dessert? In fact, why did they get more than one?” I replied with one of my favorite phrases, “More is better!” It made perfect sense to me to get dessert at the same time as the meal. What if all the dessert was gone later? I also believed it made sense to get more than one. If one dessert was any good then two would certainly be better. Although in recovery from alcoholism, we were still captive to dopamine doing its job to make sure the maximum amount of resources would available to us in the future.[2]
Daniel Lieberman MD is a professor at George Washington University who has advised departments of the US government regarding psychiatric issues. He co-authored Molecule of More was with his friend Michael Long, also at George Washington University in the writing department. Their book is about the many ways that dopamine determines, even controls, our lives. Beyond the obvious association with addiction, they explore how dopamine impacts love, relationships, creativity, and surprisingly, politics and innovation. When I first dipped into this book, I felt anxious and fearful. All I could see was my own powerlessness against the force of brain chemistry. I knew there had to be hope, though, because I have passed nearly 17 years without drinking. Although dopamine can drive innovation because of its forward-looking nature, it can also lead to destruction, and not just via addiction, because on its own, dopamine never satisfies. [3] What keeps dopamine from completely running, and ruining, the show?
The necessary components, are what the authors refer to as “here and now” neurotransmitters e.g. vasopressin and oxycontin (H&N’s for short). Without them, no amount of cake, no relationship, and no achievement, will ever truly satisfy.[4] H&N’s allow human beings to enjoy and take pleasure in what is happening in the moment. Dopamine imagines the excitement of a new relationship and idealizes the future together. H&N’s allow people to settle into long-term ‘companiate’ love and find pleasure in day-to-day life together.[5] Dopamine spurs human beings to make their way into space. H&N’s, or the lack of them, will determine whether or not the astronauts enjoy their accomplishment.[6]
Reading about the interplay of dopamine and H&N neurotransmitters reminded me of a key personal theme from last semester, that of mindfulness. Mindfulness allows me to understand what is happening in real time, increases connections with others, and reduces emotional reactivity.[7] Dopamine has had a heavy foot on the gas all my life. No wonder mindfulness, the activation of ‘here and now’ neurotransmitters, has become a leading edge of growth in life and leadership. The work is worth it. In Your Brain at Work, Dr. David Rock writes, “Happiness is not just a good dose of dopamine, but a nice oxytocin buzz, too.”[8] Learning to experience and take pleasure in what is happening now IS leading to more happiness. I feel it and hear it reflected back to me in the words of others.
I wanted to write something really insightful about how knowing more about brain chemistry, mindsets and ‘grit’, work together in leadership. If I had more time, I think I could do that. For now, I’m satisfied that I can enjoy a meal with friends and defer or even decline dessert. The antidote to my addiction, in all its insidious forms, is never willpower, but being mindful present of His Presence. For me, it always comes back to Jesus and becoming more like Him. When Jesus turned his face resolutely towards Jerusalem, he was definitely looking towards the future. But on the way to the Cross, he took time to enjoy a meal with his friends. Just as he is my ideal model for leadership, he must also be my model of brain chemistry in balance!
[1] Daniel Z. Lieberman and Michael E. Long, The Molecule of More: How a Single Chemical in Your Brain Drives Love, Sex, and Creativity – and Will Determine the Fate of the Human Race, (Dallas, TX: BenBella Books, 2019), 16.
[2] Ibid, 9.
[3] Ibid, 238.
[4] Ibid, 213.
[5] Ibid, 18.
[6] Ibid, 79.
[7] David Rock, Your Brain at Work: Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long, (New York: HarperCollins, 2020), 90.
[8] Ibid, 163.
About the Author
Julie O'Hara
13 responses to “More Is (not) Better”
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Hi Julie, I believe that dessert can be eaten before and after a meal. Kidding, sort of. I have always appreciated your openness about your journey. In the book, the authors talked about triggers that could happen at any moment for those struggling with addiction. If this is too personal, there is no need to answer here. But I am curious what kind of triggers you may have experienced and what it looked like to “conquer” them. Also, have you found any new techniques that have helped you remain in the present this semester?
Hi Elysse, Thank you for your comments and questions. I used to love to cook. So much so that I was even keeping notes for a possible cookbook. I dropped cooking like a hot potato because being in the kitchen puttering around was a powerful trigger to drink. After all, food and wine go together.
In my current living situation I have the opportunity to walk outside many times a day as I traverse from the trailer to the house and back. Every time I open the trailer door and see the cliffs, often with a family of deer view, I stop to smell the sage and usually stay out loud, “Thank you Jesus.” This little practice in awe of the creation promotes mindfulness.
Julie, thank you for your bravery and your commitment to being the best daughter of Jesus you were created to be. I may not have had “More!” as my motto, but mine has often been, “What’s next?” I hadn’t realized until just now that that is pretty much the same thing. Thank you for shedding light on that for me.
What sort of mindfulness have you been practicing and what sorts of results have you been noticing?
Hi Debbie,
I 100% relate with the “what’s next?” concept. I don’t yet have a great track record of enjoying my accomplishments.
Sometimes when I have a project or deadline I can become anxious about it and look for distraction. Typically that would mean going to find a snack or picking up my phone to scroll. I can keep snacks out of the house, but I can’t completely get rid of my phone. So, something I’m trying to practice is acknowledging the anxious feeling, and telling myself that I am growing a new neural pathway by choosing not to pick up the phone.
Hi Julie,
Thank you for your post.
With an active schedule, what practices do you incorporate into their daily routines to enhance the activation of H&N neurotransmitters?
Hi Shela, I don’t really like slowing down which makes it difficult for me to linger at a dinner table on any given weekday when I know there is work/school/chores to do. My mother-in-law loves to sit there and talk for a very long time. Currently, we are sharing many dinners with her and I make a choice to be present and engage with good cheer and a warm heart. This is definitely an effort in imitating Jesus and without the Spirit would be impossible.
Hi Julie,
Thanks for your transparency. We live in a culture of “more”, even within evangelicalism. It’s so hard to escape when we are influenced both internally and externally.
I actually loved that you didn’t write about what you were originally wanting to write about. This is perfect.
You wrote, “The antidote to my addiction, in all its insidious forms, is never willpower, but being mindful present of His Presence.” What mindfulness practices do you cultivate?
Julie, I, too, want to learn from your mindfulness practices, so I’ll tag on to Graham’s comment. Your blogs always challenge me in areas I need to improve. This one is no exception.
Thank you for sharing your journey. Congratulations on 17 years of sobriety! How do you celebrate and commemorate these difficult and highly commendable milestones?
Hi Kari,
Thank you for your kind comment. The last few years I have just gotten a chip at the Celebrate Recovery at my former church. I was taught early on it’s important to show up for the people who are watching and need hope. Mostly I am really low-key about it. I will confess to not being much of a celebrator in general. As I reflect on your question about celebrating miles stones, I sense some emotional upheaval and realize there is ‘stuff’ in there to deal with.
Hi Graham, Thank you for your kindness. In many ways I’ve answered this question above so let me mention a couple things related to our learning journey beginning with this quote from p. 216 of our reading “Paying attention to reality, to what you are actually doing in the moment, maximizes the flow of information into your brain. It maximizes dopamine’s ability to make new plans, because to build models that will accurately predict the future, dopamine needs data, and data flows from the senses. That’s dopamine and H&N working together.” Jason talks a lot about constructing mental maps. I find this extremely challenging. When we are on Zoom I must shut down everything around me and close all the tabs on my computer so I can just pay attention and take notes. I have also learned to sit in the front when possible, like in Washington DC. That helps me be fully engaged and present to the current reality.
Hey Julie! Thanks for the rewind in mindfulness, I was in the same frame as I thought of ways to counter the dopamine trap. My question is how can mindfulness practices be intentionally integrated into leadership development programs to balance dopamine-driven ambition?
Hi Daren,
Good question. Does it ever seem to you like in the church world we separate leadership development and spiritual formation? It’s like we treat them as two different things which are different silos. Not always, but often. During our times that are specifically oriented toward leadership development we can better incorporate spiritual formation/mindfulness practices with one another. We can do it in ways that are beyond just a quick prayer and that way we emphasize the value of the practices. A challenging example might be to spend a period of time in silence at the beginning of a staff meeting.
Hi Julie, Thank you for your post and sharing a part of your personal journey. While alcohol is not what gives me a dopamine burst, I can see twinges of it in craving not just one piece of chocolate but a whole bag if I am not mindful of it. Just because it is managed does not mean there isn’t a pull. I don’t have a specific question for you, but your blog poses a question for me which is how can I better submit my will to Jesus, being aware of His setting his eyes to Jerusalem and connect it to my own life. Thank you for the reminder.