Mission Possible
This book, ‘How to Have Impossible Conversations,’ by Boghossian and Lindsay provided a good addition to a leadership tool bag for conversations, or communications between the leader(s) and the team members is the life of the organization, or group. Some of the benefits of effective communication in a group are: (a.) transparency that build trust, (b.) minimizes conflicts and misunderstandings, (c.) increases teamwork or collaboration, (d.) increases team participation, (e.) helps productivity, (f.) encourages creativity and problem-solving, (g.) boost clients satisfaction, (h.) improves mental health and morale within the team, and (I.) foundational to career growth and success.[1] These are just a few, but there could be more since conversations is communication which is essential in bridging gap, or gulf that separates two destinations.
I like this book for its straightforward emphasis on how to have impossible conversations. First, it clarifies that when mentioning ‘impossible’ it does not refer to the conversation that the other party refuses to be engaged. It simply means the conversation that the parties are willing to engage in but have a hard time dealing with.[2] As the book narrow it down to what kind of conversation, it makes me think of how this would help me in my leadership role or leadership training adventures.
One important takeaway is that productive conversations are possible – even across a big divides, when it is dealt with in a careful systematic approach. Boghossian and Lindsay provides the following approaches as a system for how to deal with difficult conversations. They (the authors) elaborate on the importance of implementing this techniques in a difficult conversations: (a.) listening, not lecturing, (b.) asking thoughtful questions, (e.) build trust, (d.) establishing common ground, and (e.) be calm, be curios and keep conversation from escalating.[3] This is the tool, but how do one implement it in a practical situation? One important concept I would suggest as the essential element to this process is having a connection. Once both parties are connected, then conversations would flow and each party may be willing to listen.
I for one have encountered many of these ‘impossible conversation’ that I just made very impossible instead of a ‘mission possible.’ Therefore, when I tried to picture myself in this situation and imagine what could help me toward ‘mission possible,’ I reflected back on the last reading, ‘Humble Leadership: The Power of Relationships, Openness, and Trust.’ Humble leadership or leaders are the essential fundamental to several types of leadership including servant leadership, transformative, adaptive and many other leadership forms.[4] It is humble leadership that relationship (personal relationship), openness (being vulnerable), and trust (trusting each other) is flourished. Last but the most is following the example of Lord Himself by trying to imitate His humility.
“In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage. rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!” (Phil. 2:5-8, NIV) [5]
This supreme humility may be very difficult to achieve, but the attempt is what counts. I believe for my leadership or anyone’s leadership role or adventure, following this example is the essential foundation, for humble leadership and even for turning impossible conversations into possible mission.
[1] HR Cloud. Top Ten Benefits of Effective Communication. https://www.hrcloud.com/blog/benefits-of-effective-communication. Accessed September 4, 2025.
[2] Boghossian, Peter; Lindsay, James. How to Have Impossible Conversations: A Very Practical Guide (p. 3). Grand Central Publishing. Kindle Edition.
[3] Ibid.
[4] Schein, Edgar H.; Schein, Peter A.. Humble Leadership, Second Edition: The Power of Relationships, Openness, and Trust (p. 4). Berrett-Koehler Publishers. Kindle Edition.
[5] The Humility of Jesus Christ.
About the Author
Noel Liemam
3 responses to “Mission Possible”
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Thank you, Noel. What types of conversations do you find most challenging in your ministry context? Also, how do you remind yourself to apply some of the communication tips you have learned?
Noel, thanks for your reflections here. I am curious about impossible conversations in your cultural context? How might these principles be received? What might you need to adapt from this book to better fit your context?
Noel, I was wondering something similar to Graham. What does “building golden bridges” look like in your culture? Allowing people to graciously change their minds is not something seen often in my host culture.