Meaning of suffering, meaning of life.
Here I come, you ready for it, I’m going to stretch myself here and go off my topic…Okay, no I am not, I’m going to talk about the meaning of suffering. Why not? I work right in the middle of it and it’s the human condition. Jordan B. Peterson is a psychologist who wrote a book on meaning called Maps of Meaning: The Architecture of Belief. While reading this book in any inspectionary way is, in my opinion, IMPOSSIBLE I did find a few concepts that were fascinating, especially when it comes to finding meaning through suffering.
In summary, there are 9 key points Peterson addresses in this book: “Humans explore their environment out of a fear of the unknown, stories help us navigate the world a s a place of meaning, all myths follow the same basic structure, myths provide a model for how societies should work and how individuals should behave, growing up means learning how to identify with the group and the hero, anomalies threaten the stability of our psyche and society-and force us to adapt, our limitations are the precondition for a meaningful existence, evil means rejecting creative exploration, and we’re all capable of it, and in order to reach our full potential, we must chart our own path.”[1] I found this summary on a website in order to get the most simplified breakdown of this book. Some arguments made against the author is his arrogance in using large and complicated words that make his approachability very challenging. When looking at his writings, and views on the world, I am drawn to his trying to approach meaning making. I mention all of this as a way of gaining a basic understanding of the book before I microscopically write on a small portion of the book.
Peterson states in his early in his first chapter when determining the meaning of meaning “we need to know four things: What there is, what to do about what there is, that there is a difference between knowing what there is, and knowing what to do about what there is and what that difference is.”[2] Understand? When entering into his chapter, Maps of experience, or as the summary above distilled it down to-Humans explore their environment out of a fear of the unknown, Peterson broke it down even further into 3 subqueries around the significance of meaning. He wrote:
- What is? What is the nature (meaning, the significance) of the current state of experience?
- What should be? To what (desirable, valuable) end should that state be moving?
- How should we therefore act? What is the nature of the specific process by which the present state might be transformed into that which is desired?[3]
When I read this part of the chapter it brought to mind, instantly a Buddhist way of thinking around suffering. I have heard in different lectures (don’t know original author, but the teaching was at the Sacred Art of Living center) that the definition of suffering as: There is the way things are and the way we want them to be, and suffering occurs when we try to live between those two spheres. I have always connected to this thought especially when working with those who are suffering or have to acknowledge my own suffering. We all tend to live in between the reality of what is and the dream of what we wish it was! Tara Brach brings this reality to light in her book Radical Acceptance: Embracing your life with the heart of Buddha, she calls it the “Trance of Unworthiness”, “Every time we hide a defeat (or failure) we reinforce the fear that we are insufficient. When we strive to impress or outdo others, we strengthen the underlying belief that we are not good enough as we are.” [4]
Our fear of failure and our own sense of unworthiness is what robs us of meaning and traps us in between being honest with how things are, and pretending to be where we want them to be. I wonder if this is where moral failings begin for leaders? Leaders get caught up and stuck in the muck and mire of the hero’s dilemma? “The Road of Trials” as Joseph Campbell would state, “Once having traverse the threshold, the hero moves in a dream landscape of curiously fluid, ambiguous forms, where he (we?) must survive a succession of trials” (suffering?)[5]
As a Chaplain in Hospice, I am assessing the Spiritual Pain of each person I encounter, patients and families alike. Meaning making is how I define my job, (which is why I hoped I had gotten more out of this book, I think I am in burnout, but I digress). “In all the books of the dead, regardless of time, place, or culture, the experience of spiritual pain is related to one of four timeless qualities:
1)Meaning
2) Forgiveness
3) Relatedness
4) Hopelessness
In the Spiritual realm, these are the only four illnesses that require diagnosis. Understanding something about each of these four classical categories may be the key to a peaceful death”.[6] When we all encounter the last months or years of our life we will be faced with meaning? How do we define it and as Jordan Peterson states, how do we map it? “There is ultimately only one spiritual question: Who am I? The answer to this question is rarely known except in the dark night of the soul.”[7]
Maps of Meaning equips us with a historical understanding of where meaning making comes from and how we work out its meaning, but as Campbell noted, and as we encounter different stages of our lives, I wonder if the full understanding of that Spiritual question “Who am I” is only understood in the end, after going through trials and tribulations, in other words Suffering? A map in small pieces does not make sense of a journey, it’s when the whole journey is laid out and we can look from above that we understand the meaning of it all!
May we continue to have the courage to face our suffering, to have the “Blissful encounter with the Truth” [8]so that we suffer less! Or at the very least, find redemption in the Joy of life as we move forward with Radical Acceptance of what is!
[1] https://www.blinkist.com/en/books/maps-of-meaning-en
[2] Peterson, Jordan B. Maps of Meaning: The Architecture of Belief. (New York, Routledge, 1999) 1-2
[3] Peterson, 13
[4] Brach, Tara. Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of Buddha. (New York, Bantam Dell, 2003) 17.
[5] Campbell, Joseph. The Hero with A Thousand Faces. (California, New World Library, 2008) 81.
[6] Groves, Richard F., and Henriette Anne Klauser. The American Book of Living and Dying: Lessons in Healing Spiritual Pain. (Berkeley, Celestial Arts, 2009) 43.
[7] Groves and Klauser, 43.
[8] Ibid, 43
About the Author
Jana Dluehosh
Jana serves as a Spiritual Care Supervisor for Signature Hospice in Portland, OR. She chairs the corporate Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Belonging committee as well as presents and consults with chronically ill patients on addressing Quality of Life versus and alongside Medical treatment. She has trained as a World Religions and Enneagram Spiritual Director through an Anam Cara apprenticeship through the Sacred Art of Living center in Bend, OR. Jana utilizes a Celtic Spirituality approach toward life as a way to find common ground with diverse populations and faith traditions. She has mentored nursing students for several years at the University of Portland in a class called Theological Perspectives on Suffering and Death, and has taught in the Graduate Counseling program at Portland Seminary in the Trauma Certificate program on Grief.8 responses to “Meaning of suffering, meaning of life.”
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Hi Jana,
I enjoyed your post! I agree that the book was impossible to read in inspectionally, but I did so because it seemed more impossible to read the entire book this week.
You made a very profound statement and asked a good question of us as leaders, “Our fear of failure and our own sense of unworthiness is what robs us of meaning and traps us in between being honest with how things are, and pretending to be where we want them to be. I wonder if this is where moral failings begin for leaders? ” I have walked with a few folks through their moral failings and I would have to say anecdotally my answer would be, yes. But even when there is no moral failing our sense of unworthiness clouds our sense of meaning and purpose. For me, I have to check out how I am defining failure and success, because that will (at least in part) feed into my sense of unworthiness. I can’t seek validation of my worthiness externally, it must come from within and from a deep sense of being God’s beloved. I think leaders can get tripped up without that.
Being God’s beloved, yes, that seems to be where we need to continue to remind ourselves of our identity. We get so caught up in our own unworthiness. I wonder if this is a reaction to some traditions in the faith that focus so much more on our “sin” nature and not enough preaching on and living out of grace?
Jana, you’re reading my mail… “There is the way things are and the way we want them to be, and suffering occurs when we try to live between those two spheres.”
I’m a vision guy… I often can see really clearly the end result (“where we want them to be”) and am constantly working to get there from where we are now (“the way things are”)
Suffering is, I guess (in this way), my default position.
The problem is I burden others with that particular form of suffering.
I’m slightly encouraged however by your statement about how we can find ourselves in moral failure. I may have other triggers, but I’ve never struggled with pretending something is where we want them to be… if anything I drive my team crazy because I am never satisfied; I don’t celebrate small actual wins, and always am looking at what’s next (I had a team member confront me about this very thing this week).
I don’t really have a question, just personal observations (maybe a little free therapy as I write). I’m sorry you’re feeling burned out right now. Know that this book exists and that you can go back to it when desired or necessary. That may be the most important thing you take away from this week… and it’s ok.
Tim, I am that too! I’m great at vision, creativity, big thinker, idea person and I can woo other’s to my cause! What is painful is bringing those behind up to where we are, and that is suffering at times. I have had to work really hard on taking time to circle back around and listen to those who are slow to catch the vision. At my work I have worked for 9 years to create a culture of soulfulness to our work that we do business in, and ever since the pandemic hit, soul has left the building. We are “trying” to insert soul into the business, but I am convinced this will never be enough to change culture. I wonder if the church can be like this too? (I’ve been in my fair share of church business meetings:)). My we have rest and a sense of renewal in our burnout friend!
“Here I come, you ready for it.”
I thought I was, but I was no where near ready for it…BUT I needed it! Jana, I read your post 4 times and I’m still processing it because I love it so much!
First of all, may I use most of your post to hand out to certain clients because I know it will be a great encouragement to many and a serious challenge to others?
More importantly, it is really resonating with me. Even as I write my heart is burning with passion to live out your words and be at peace with myself and leadership.
“Every time we hide a defeat (or failure) we reinforce the fear that we are insufficient. When we strive to impress or outdo others, we strengthen the underlying belief that we are not good enough as we are.” This hurt deeply because I see where I actually do at times try to impress people. Sometimes because I’m a person of color and want to prove I can also do great things, but also because of that deep inner need for acceptance that I continue to ignore or think, “I’m over that” This blog messed me up! Thank you Jana…and I mean that from the bottom of my heart! (Ouch)!!!
Todd! Wow! I’m so moved it meant that much to you. You absolutely have my permission to use whatever you’d like!
When you wrote :This hurt deeply because I see where I actually do at times try to impress people. Sometimes because I’m a person of color and want to prove I can also do great things, but also because of that deep inner need for acceptance that I continue to ignore or think, “I’m over that”. Todd, yes. I wonder where impress and confidence intersect and where they are different? I do it too as a woman in the ministry…I think there is a shadow side like this for all of us as we earn this doctorate. We flow from imposter to “look at me” to pride to self-assurance and back to imposter.. and around and around it goes. I can imagine and( it’s just that as its not my lived experience) it must be to move with confidence in this world when the world can be threatened by a man of color with confidence and self-assuredness. Todd! What a conundrum! Thank you for your encouragement.
Hi Jana!
Thanks for your insightful post!
You write, “Our fear of failure and our own sense of unworthiness is what robs us of meaning and traps us in between being honest with how things are, and pretending to be where we want them to be. I wonder if this is where moral failings begin for leaders? Leaders get caught up and stuck in the muck and mire of the hero’s dilemma? “The Road of Trials” as Joseph Campbell would state, “Once having traversed the threshold, the hero moves in a dream landscape of curiously fluid, ambiguous forms, where he (we?) must survive a succession of trials” (suffering?) [5]
It would be interesting to take a deeper look at that part, Jana! Can the fear of failure and being meaningless not be overcome by the defense mechanism system that exists within humans themselves? As far as I remember, Freud once mentioned that there is such a mechanism in humans. Second, what about the influence of a person’s spirituality and faith in responding to and overcoming this fear?”
Jana,
I really enjoyed reading your post. I love how you tied it to your work and I am especially impressed with you were able to do it with this book. You wrote, “Our fear of failure and our own sense of unworthiness is what robs us of meaning and traps us in between being honest with how things are, and pretending to be where we want them to be.” This is a whole WORD! “traps us between being honest and pretending”… I am grateful that you were able to pull this from his writing. I needed this today. Bless you Sis!