Maternal Sound
During the opening plenary in Oxford, Dr. Clark spoke to the DLPG students about the body being a metaphor for learning. He highlighted how the sense of hearing is the last sense a person is to lose in their life.[1] If the sense of hearing is the last thing a person experiences, one of the first experiences a person has is hearing their mother. There is no escaping it, the womb holds a growing child and the first voice that a baby hears is their mother. In the book, The Sound of Leadership, Jules Glanzer explores the metaphor of voices, music, and sound to apprehend leadership. This exploration is a guided journey for the reader who is asked many questions, such as: “When many voices are clamoring for your attention, how do you determine which voice to listen to? [2] He emphasizes the complexity of this by stating, “the majority voice, the loud voice, and the passionate voice ‘are’ not always the right voice.” [3] I believe many would benefit from listening to the first voice God has given every human being. How has a mother’s voice impacted their child? In my blog, I hope to champion women by recognizing the powerful voice they hold in their family’s lives. I will further develop the metaphor of a mother’s body (specifically her face and lap) and how her body communicates in powerful ways to her child.
Mother’s Words
Jules Glanzer recounts the day that he asked Jesus into his heart and running home to tell his grandmother, who responded by praying over him. Glanzer shares this experience, “I do not remember what she prayed, but to this day I am convinced her prayer set the tone for my life that is still being answered today. From my perspective, my destiny as a person and a leader was set at that moment in time.”[4] This is refreshing, hearing Glanzer praise his grandmother. Her voice meant a lot to him. Maria Tatar, author of The Heroine With a 1,001 Faces, would likely say this (woman’s voice) was an exception as she reflects about popular literature: “Women may appear in the triumphant stories of a hero’s deeds and accomplishments, but all too often they are strangely invisible, lacking agency, voices, and a presence in public life.”[5] Making women visible and having their voices heard is an important practice.
The words a woman chooses to let come out of her mouth is a matter of life and death to her home and to her family. Proverbs 14:1 imparts this message: The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down. E.B. White illustrates this well in the beloved story Charlotte’s Web. Charlotte is described as one who not only encouraged Wilbur but saved her dear friend’s life by weaving words in her web to describe Wilbur. “Charlotte is no ordinary spider: she is an arachnid who knows how to do things with words. And she is an expert in the art of memorialization.” She wields her authority in ways that transform Wilbur and ennoble him.” [7] Mother’s have this ennobling power with their children, and this comes in the words that they choose. “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” (Luke 6:45) A child is influenced by the way his or her mother pays attention, by the words that come from her mouth.
Mother’s Face
When a person looks at another person, the first thing they are searching for is eye contact. Having eye contact is important as it helps people connect. A mother spends hours gazing at her newborn, this bonding behavior is vital for a child. Eve Poole, in her book Leader-Smithing, states: “One of our deepest psychological needs is to feel significant, to feel seen. Eye contact saves words. Eye contact shows confidence and engagement, and lets the person know they are important to you.” [6] A mother sometimes needs only to be silent and let her eyes do the communicating.
Mother’s Lap
For a child, comfort is often experienced in being embraced, knowing the closeness of a mother’s body by being held or welcomed on a mother’s lap. This is a most desirable place to be. A child can hear the heartbeat of their mother and gain calm. I gained this by experience as my children sought this comfort from me. There are other noises Glanzer described which may or may not be wanted: “Four types of noise are continuous noise, intermittent noise, impulsive noise, and low frequency noise. Some noises are unwanted, unpleasant, and disruptive. Others are welcome, soothing, and desirable. Our perception is the determining factor.”[8] By welcoming a child onto a mother’s lap, they are experiencing this welcoming, soothing, desirable noise.
I have four children, they are 18 years and older, leaving me with an “empty nest.” In other words, my children are no longer in my lap or in need of my lap. My job is to release my children and I am embracing this definition of leadership: the act of influencing a group of people toward a preferred future. [9] I have always held this definition of leadership but I am appreciating the nuance that comes with preferring that my children pursue a future of independence versus dependence on me. This must be accomplished apart from my lap.
Note: Nov 1, 2023 I had the opportunity to share these discoveries with a group of mother’s. I titled my talk: Attuned Parenting: Getting in Sync with Ourselves and our Children. I enjoyed this opportunity and was overjoyed to connect with women who are seeking Jesus.
[1] Dr. Jason Clark, Plenary, September 20,2023, DLGP Oxford Advance.
[2] Jules Glanzer, The Sound of Leadership: Kingdom Notes to Fine Tune Your Life and Influence, 2023, Plano: InvitePress, p.21
[3] Ibid. p.20
[4] Ibid. p.99
[5] Maria Tatar, The Heroine with 1,001 Faces, 2021 New York: Liveright Publishing Corp. p.xx
[6] Eve Poole, Leader-Smithing: Revealing the Trade Secrets of Leadership, 2017, Norfolk: Bloomsbury. P.161
[7] Maria Tatar, The Heroine with 1,001 Faces, 2021 New York: Liveright Publishing Corp., p.49
[8] Jules Glanzer, The Sound of Leadership: Kingdom Notes to Fine Tune Your Life and Influence, 2023, Plano: Invite Press., p.89
[9] Ibid. p.37
About the Author
Kristy Newport
7 responses to “Maternal Sound”
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Disclaimer: (from the author, Kristy N.)
What about the women who take drugs while they are pregnant? What about the mother’s who are verbally abusive to their children? What about the parents who choose to abort their child?….
I am aware of the sinful nature of a woman and this may be the experience a child is born into (or has died at the hands of their mother/father). Finding other maternal voices proves to be wise if these are the experiences a child has with their biological mother.
I know that I am making some assumptions when I state: “I believe many would benefit from listening to the first voice God has given every human being.”
I base my blog on the assumption that a pregnancy/ child is wanted from conception.
Dr. Newport
I really enjoyed your blog, you brought up some excellent points. I really appreciated your reference to Eve Poole, in her book Leader-Smithing, states: “One of our deepest psychological needs is to feel significant, to feel seen.
With your background in counseling, you really bring excellent perspectives. Well done!
Kristy, I love your mother’s heart and passion. What a beautifully written blogpost. A mother’s voice has a huge impact on her children. I fall in the category of the verbally abused by my mother, but seeking out other maternal voices in my life has been vital. I have had to learn what voices speak life to me and ignore the voices that are destructive – easier said than done! My question for you, how has your voice changed to your children now that they are all adults? How does this book influence what you might say to them now?
This quote you referrenced by Glanzer stood out to me: “the majority voice, the loud voice, and the passionate voice ‘are’ not always the right voice.” This is critical in our day and age where the loudest, most emotionally-charged voices are the ones that are heard (because our senses are trained to pay attention to whatever sounds the most threatening) – unlike the nonanxious, reason-based voices. Unfortunately, our media has a bias for the loud – that which gets the most attention for the sake of advertisers.
Great work Kristy.
Outstanding post, Kristy. Your children may be out of the house but the words you have spoken into them, and the prayers you have said over them, will forever be in their hearts, minds, and Spirit inside of them. Similar to Glanzer’s grandmother’s prayer over him, it is still being answered today.
I am inspired by your words and greatly appreciate your bringing in Luke 6:45 “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” This rings true and has been on my heart a lot lately. I have used this in a few conversations recently in reference to idols, fitness, social media, and other things that fill our “hearts.” I love how you incorporated it into your summary. Well done all around! Thank you for these wise words.
Kristy,
I love this post. It might be my favorite that you have written. I love it because it seemed so personal, heartfelt and inspired me to reflect on the women who are voices in my journey. I often tell of my mom who told me Bible stories long before I ever went to church. She also told me I should go to college when she only had a high school education. She influenced me to keep striving and not settle for limits, all out of her love for me. Thank you for sharing this post and talk!
Kristy, Thank you so much for this post! Wow, there is so much to think about here. I love how you pulled together a variety of voices to undergird this theme of the power of a mother’s voice in the lives of her children and family members. Here is one of my favorite lines from your blog, combining your words with Eve Poole’s words:
“‘Eye contact saves words. Eye contact shows confidence and engagement, and lets the person know they are important to you.’ [6] A mother sometimes needs only to be silent and let her eyes do the communicating.”
Your message is powerful. Thank you! It’s very exciting that your talk on Nov 1 was received well. Did your audience have a chance to ask you questions? If so, what was a question that struck you as especially intriguing? And what was your answer?