Making Sense of Life
This week in the life of a doctoral student, I was assigned the book, Maps of Meaning by Jordan Peterson. It is a book of over 500 pages of small print, including more notes and citation than I had time to count. The sub title of the book is “The Architecture of Belief”. The idea that we could uncover an understanding on how we come to acquire our understanding of meaning and our beliefs seems simple enough until you pick up this book.
Life Is Complex
As I was ordering book at the start of the semester this one peaked my interest as I love to explore the psychology and sociology of the complexities of life. I have spent the last several months trying to deepen my understanding around humanity, dignity and empathy. Then life through a curve ball my way…
Before I was able to pick up this book and explore the deep, complex reasoning and researched aimed at understanding our complexities as humans, I received a frantic phone call from a family member that a 19 year old family member had attempted suicide and was being rushed to the ER. To say my mind began spinning with questions, desperation, fear, sadness, and most of all in this situation the WHY. Seeking the meaning of all this has spun in my mind all week.
This news compounded on other family crisis: my car broke down and we need it to travel for Thanksgiving, my mother fell and broke her collarbone, my mother in law was admitted to the hospital in need of a bone marrow transplant, my husband had medical tests, my daughter got the lead in the school play, my son is struggling with making friends, and our exchange student is in culture shock and homesick… All in a matter of 14 days! Plus I have 2.5 months left to finish my doctoral research project.
In all this complexity, in all this weight to carry… what is the meaning of it all? Where do my beliefs stand in all of this? As a Christian I might claim this to be a moment of testing like Job. In my traumatized human heart, I might feel that the world is out to get me, or question “what am I doing wrong?”, “where is God in all of this?”, in all of this I am at the core seeking meaning.
In Peterson’s book I found myself frustrated by the wordy and intellectual approach to describing things when what I needed in this moment was simple understanding, meaning making of all these things that are crushing me.
Perspective in Chaos
Peterson writes, “The meaning we attribute to objects or situations is not stable.” He goes on to state, “The meaning of things depends to a profound and ultimately undeterminable degree upon the relationship of those things to the goal we currently have in mind. Meaning shifts when goals change.” (1)
So, as my life becomes engulfed in chaos, surrounded by grief and fear, it would be reasonable to say that my goals have changed that what has meaning changes. As the goals change to one of survival mode in the midst of chaos the meaning of things the definition of importance all change as well.
Peterson uses in his book an example of concentration camps. This example is heavy and one that brings forward our extreme failures as humans. I recently visited a concentration camp while spending time in Germany and found it to stir inside me a deep desire to make meaning, to understand how humans could get to this point. The bitterness of survival still radiated from the dirt. The graphic stories of the living conditions don’t even begin to tell the story of how desperate being there was. What was important and what made sense to those imprisoned was radically different than for others around the world. Their goals changed and so too did their understanding of what had meaning, what was important, and what they were willing to do to survive.
Goals Change
When we are faced with both challenge and success our goals are likely to shift and those the meaning we seek shifts as well. Mr research seeks to address what happens to leaders when they are faced with the trauma of leadership. These moments change a leaders goals. Often a visionary leader will become more risk adverse and shift to survival mode. When a leader is unable to take risk or invest in creativity they become stuck in this pattern of survival and may even loose sight of any or all the goals they had. The goals change, get lost, or loose value. In my research I have been exploring how using play can begin to help leaders heal from the trauma of leadership and expense a renewal within themselves that can again inspire their creativity and ability to dream, thus changing their goals once again.
In Conclusion
Life is messy and hard, evil in the word exists, and even wordy, intellectual, philosophy books about meaning can have meaningful insight into how we as humans engage in meaning making in the midst of the mess.
[1] Jordan B. Peterson, Maps of Meaning: The Architecture of Belief (New York, NY: Routledge, 1999), xiv. (p. 33)
About the Author
Sara Taylor Lattimore
Sara is adopted, a wife of 17 years, a mother to 2 amazing children who give her opportunities to be a cheerleader, dress up like a princess, play soccer in the mud, and go on amazing adventures. With a Bachelors in political science and sociology, Sara worked for Child Protective Services as a legal caseworker before following a call into full-time ministry in 2008. During her time in full-time ministry Sara has served in medium to large size local congregations, as well as camp ministry. Sara has a passion for serving others, writing, and speaking. In 2016 Sara worked on a joint publication as a Curriculum Writer. Sara wrote the Intergenerational/Family & Day Camp Resources in “Beyond Belief” for InsideOut Christian Resources for Outdoor Ministry- Published by Chalice Press- Release Date 2018. Sara is looking forward to writing her own book next. Sara completed her MDiv from Iliff School of Theology in 2019 and is currently working on her Doctorate in Leadership and Global Perspectives from Portland Seminary. Sara currently serves as Lead Pastor of a local church in Southwestern Montana. She has previously served in ministry positions leading congregations in engaging globally in healthy mission and outreach partnerships, living life missionally, building innovative programs, and building relationships as the Director of Missions and Outreach, College Ministry Coordinator, Family and Children’s Ministry Director, Director of Christian Education, and Camp Program Director. She is an innovator and visionary who looks to find empowering and dignity restoring ways of building communities of belonging, while listening and partnering with others to find ways to also address the needs of the communities she is planted in. Beyond her work, Sara dreams of growing her family through adoption, kayaking with Orcas, going on pilgrimage on the Camino De Santiago in Spain, traveling in an RV across North America, and traveling internationally.8 responses to “Making Sense of Life”
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Sara,
I’m sorry that life is challenging in this season for you and your family (and exchange student). But having read your post, your grit, determination, and faith leap from the page.
Particularly poignant is “The bitterness of survival still radiated from the dirt.” Your post brings to life the meaning of Peterson’s book.
How will you refresh and refill yourself during this time as a leader?
Audrey, thank you for your kind words! I have to admit my self care is often the first thing to slip away in these seasons. I know this to be something I need and your simple question is a kind reminder to not forget to care for myself. I don’t have an answer other than, I will look for ways.
“Meaning shifts when goals change.” This was a powerful quote to highlight, Sara, and I can see why it was so poignant to you in light of the challenges you’ve experienced over the past two weeks. As Peterson spoke about the importance of the narratives we live with, I can see how your faith is an overarching narrative helping you get through this troubling time. I pray you continue to hold on to that.
Thank you Laura for your support and prayers. The narratives we are shaped by and the making of meaning are all a part of the journey.
Oh Sara! Thank you for sharing so vulnerably. What a difficult, traumatic season. May the Lord bring peace to you and your family. You concluded:
“Life is messy and hard, evil in the word exists, and even wordy, intellectual, philosophy books about meaning can have meaningful insight into how we as humans engage in meaning making in the midst of the mess.”
This is so true and I am glad you were able to gain some insight from this book. I have found that I do not enjoy the difficult seasons, but I am so very grateful for them. I would not be who I am today nor doing the research I am doing without my journey through “the valley of the shadow of death,” as David puts it. It may be too soon to ponder, but how do you think this season will impact you as a leader going forward?
Becca,
Thank you for the prayers!
I agree with you about the difficult seasons. I have often said they have shaped me and for the I am grateful despite the discomfort and heartache they caused they were a part of my journey. I also have often realized that the testimony that comes from sharing our journey can be just what another needs to hear in their moments of trial. It is most certainly true that in all things God can use them for good, even when in the moments it seems to be impossible.
Sara,
I am praying for you and your family in this challenging time. Hang in there!
Tonette, Thank you for the prayers. This has surely been a trying season.