Loving Beyond Bias: How Self-Awareness Awakens the Jesus Creed in Us
I’ve been trying to understand it all.
How can people who profess to follow Jesus have such completely different perspectives on the answers to the questions, “Who is my neighbor?” and “Am I my brother’s keeper?”
And if those of us who follow Jesus say we want to become more like Him in all our interactions, how can we have such dramatically different opinions on how we care—or don’t care—for others?
Before we go any further, let me ‘fess up to the fact that I know I fall far short of being like Jesus in many, many ways. (“Oh sinful heart, let me count the ways in which you miss the mark…”)
I also acknowledge that there are many aspects of faith that fall into a kind of “gray zone”—those areas where denominations disagree or theologians debate. And in such cases, it’s wise not to “major in the minors,” as the saying goes. Let’s keep first things first.
So for that matter, what is first? What’s the center of the center?
We look to Jesus’s words that have come to be known as the greatest commandment—what Scot McKnight names “the Jesus Creed.” In The Jesus Creed, McKnight explains how Jesus took the Shema from Deuteronomy 6 and transformed it:
“It takes real pluck (or chutzpah) to add to the sacred shema, but this addition reveals the heart of the Jesus creed… Making the love of others part of his own version of the shema shows that he sees love of others as central to spiritual formation… When the shema becomes the Jesus creed, it becomes personal.” [1]
This idea becomes even more powerful when paired with the words of 1 John 4:19: “We love because God first loved us.”
This is where Jesus-centered love begins—not as an obligation, not as a religious task, but as a response. As Albert Nolan puts it in Jesus Today:
“For Jesus… God’s love comes first.” [2]
The idea that we must earn love—God’s or anyone else’s—is, in itself, an example of unconscious bias. It’s deeply embedded in how we approach our relationships, our theology, and even our leadership. It’s very difficult for most people to understand that we are loved simply because of who we are, simply because God created us and therefore God loves us.
And yet, even with that understanding in our heads (and hopefully in our hearts), we often don’t act like people overflowing with divine love. We believe—unconsciously—that we have to earn God’s love.
That often means that we don’t live like people who truly believe everyone is our neighbor.
We don’t move through our neighborhoods, workplaces, or churches like people who believe we are part of one big family—what Nolan calls “a happy, loving household… rising up from below, from the poor, the little ones, the sinners, the outcasts.” [3]
So what gives?
The Gap Between What We Believe and How We Love
Here’s where science can help.
In her book Sway: Unravelling Unconscious Bias, behavioral and data scientist Pragya Agarwal explores the subtle, hidden forces that shape our perception of the world and other people. She explains:
“We all discriminate. We judge, we exclude people, we stereotype. Sometimes that’s a little tough to comprehend.” [4]
This isn’t about “bad people.” It’s about human people. It’s about how our brains are wired to use heuristics—mental shortcuts—especially when we’re tired, rushed, or overwhelmed. Our minds build “mental schemas,” filtering out data that contradicts what we already believe and prioritizing what seems familiar or safe. [5] Such unconscious bias results in blind spots in our relationships.
Even when we believe the right things—that all are created in God’s image, that everyone is worthy of love—we still fall prey to “satisficing,” or settling for good-enough judgments based on incomplete impressions. [6] And these fast, automatic instincts tend to reinforce the very hierarchies that Jesus came to dismantle.
So, if we’re going to live out the Jesus Creed—not just recite it—we have to know ourselves. We have to slow down, pay attention, and let the Holy Spirit reveal our blind spots.
We cannot love our neighbors well if we are not aware of how we fail to see them clearly.
Transforming the Shema
Jesus didn’t command us to love our neighbor as an act of moral muscle. He invited us into something deeper—a relational response to a love that had already come near. As Albert Nolan writes in Jesus Today, “In Jesus’s understanding, loving God was a grateful and joyful response to God’s unconditional love. It was a spontaneous response to the experience of God as a loving, caring Father.” [7]
That kind of love—the kind that flows because we’ve been loved—is beautiful in theory. But it runs straight into our wiring.
That’s why Jesus didn’t just repeat the Shema, He transformed it. As Scot McKnight explains, “[Making] the love of others part of his own version of the Shema shows that he sees love of others as central to spiritual formation.” [8] He made neighbor-love the visible evidence of spiritual maturity.
But to live that kind of love, we have to get real about what keeps us from seeing our neighbors clearly in the first place.
That’s where self-awareness enters in—not as a buzzword, but as a spiritual discipline. In Sway, Pragya Agarwal explains how unconscious biases distort our perception: “We form a partial snapshot of the entire world depending on our context and goals,” she writes, which “leads to unconscious errors in memory recall… and biases that affect our gut instinct.” [9]
In other words, we extrapolate from past experiences to future situations that are similar, filtering people “in” or “out” based on how much like us they are. Although the words and actions of other people have helped shape us—and our unconscious biases—throughout our lives, we don’t even realize we’re using those filters.
Walking Past Jesus?
This is why self-awareness is more than a personality tool—it’s an act of discipleship. If we’re not actively examining the people, stories, and instincts that shape us, we will inevitably love unequally. We’ll “pass by on the other side” of people we don’t fully understand or feel threatened by, all while convincing ourselves we’re being faithful.
Jesus tells us otherwise.
In Matthew 25, He describes the final judgment—not based on belief, but on mercy. Not on correct doctrine, but on how we treated the hungry, the stranger, the sick, the imprisoned. As Nolan puts it, “Love of neighbor is seen to be in practice the same as love of God—whether the person being judged is aware of this or not.” [10]
Let that sink in. Loving the people we find inconvenient, annoying, or hard to understand is loving God. And if we aren’t aware of the ways our brains automatically shield us from certain types of people, we may never realize how often we walk right past Jesus.
From Awareness to Love in Action
So if we know that Jesus offers the invitation to love—not as a burden, but as a response—and we know that unconscious bias shapes who we notice, trust, or help, what do we do next?
We pay attention.
Self-awareness is not a self-help technique. It’s not a psychological luxury. For those who follow Jesus—especially those called to lead in His name—self-awareness is sacred. It’s the beginning of repentance. It’s how we notice the neighbor we’ve overlooked. It’s how we tell the truth about what’s happening inside us, so we can live more truthfully toward others.
Because when we dare to examine the stories and assumptions that run under the surface of our thinking—when we ask the Spirit to reveal our blind spots and biases—we become more like Jesus. And we begin to turn the world right side up.
Albert Nolan writes, “The community or society Jesus hoped for was more like a family… who care for one another, identify with one another, protect one another, and share with one another.” [11]
That’s the real world Jesus saw, and sees still—a world where love is not filtered through fear or favoritism. A world where neighbor means everyone, and “the least of these” is never least to God.
So understanding more about unconscious bias is at least one piece of the puzzle that begins to answer the question I posed above: How can followers of Jesus have such different perspectives on the Jesus Creed?
And self-awareness is a critical first step in the spiritual formation—the journey toward greater spiritual maturity—that McKnight suggests is the desired result of truly living into the Jesus Creed.
Are you ready to practice some “self-awareness” for your own spiritual growth? Try asking yourself these questions:
- Who have I filtered out of my vision of “neighbor”—and what might it look like to start seeing them with the eyes of Jesus?
- What if being “my brother’s keeper” doesn’t necessarily mean taking responsibility for someone else’s life—but simply taking responsibility for how I see them?
That kind of love—humble, aware, and unfiltered—is the beginning of the Jesus Creed lived out loud.
1 – Scot McKnight, The Jesus Creed; Loving God, Loving Others (Brewster, MA: Paraclete Press, 2004), 9.
2 – Albert Nolan, Jesus Today; A Spirituality of Radical Freedom (Maryknoll, New York: Orbis Books, 2006), 157.
3 – Nolan, 57.
4 – Pragya Agarwal, Sway; Unavelling Unconscious Bias (New York: Bloomsbury Sigma, 2020), 22.
5 – Agarwal, 30-31.
6 – Agarwal, 31.
7 – Nolan, 157.
8 – McKnight, 9.
9 – Agarwal, 34.
10 – Nolan, 160.
11 – Nolan, 57.
About the Author
Debbie Owen
Deborah C. Owen is an experienced spiritual director, Neuro-based Enneagram executive and life coach, disciple maker, professional writer, senior librarian, and long-time church Music Director and lay leader. She has earned the award of National Board Certification for teaching excellence, and a podcasting award, and is pursuing a Doctor of Leadership degree through Portland Seminary at George Fox University. She lives in the backwoods of Maine with her husband and flat-coated retriever. She spends as much time as she can with their 3 grown children, daughter-in-law, and 2 small grandchildren. Find her online at InsideOutMinistries.info.12 responses to “Loving Beyond Bias: How Self-Awareness Awakens the Jesus Creed in Us”
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Hi Debbie,
Thank you for your post.
Considering the depth of perspectives Agarwal provides in her book, are there any specific topics or aspects of unconscious bias that you believe could have been explored more thoroughly or elaborated upon?
Hi Shela, I’ll respond to your question with one of my own. 🙂 Was there something in my post that resonated with you or that made you wonder about something in a new way?
Debbie,
Thanks for your post. I told you that this book would be just the right book at the right time. I appreciate how you highlight how biases might affect how we see or don’t see Jesus.
I am a bit confused though on the last question you write, “What if being “my brother’s keeper” doesn’t necessarily mean taking responsibility for someone else’s life—but simply taking responsibility for how I see them?” Can you explain a little bit more about how you got here? I am still trying to understand this.
“I am a bit confused though on the last question you write, “What if being “my brother’s keeper” doesn’t necessarily mean taking responsibility for someone else’s life—but simply taking responsibility for how I see them?” Can you explain a little bit more about how you got here? I am still trying to understand this.”
Thanks for your comment Adam. And yes, this is the right book at the right time.
I think – and there’s room for more thinking on this, for sure – the idea is to begin by paying attention to my own implicit biases before judging someone else and their situation. Ask myself, “How do I feel about this person?” “Why do I feel that way?” “Is there something in my background, my implicit memories, that causes me to view them this way?”
And then, of course, we respond to the love of God – ideally – by loving our neighbor, whoever it is, by recognizing that I bring my biases to the situation. But that God looks at every human being with the same eyes of love. What will it take for me to view that person the same way, as God looks at them? When I can do that – even a little bit, even just by acknowledging, through increased self-awareness, that I may not be bringing God’s eyes of love to a situation – then it becomes much easier (I think) to be willing to take care of others. In essence, I can become my brother’s/sister’s keeper because I learn to see them and love them as God loves them.
That’s a long answer; if I have to explain it that way, it probably didn’t land quite right. That’s OK. I’m just thinking of all the situations in our country (and the world, but let’s keep it close to home) in which people are not being self-aware enough to examine their implicit, unconscious biases. And that leads them (us) to wash our hands of their fate and decide that they are NOT a brother/sister of the human race, and we are NOT responsible for their care. This is a big part of what’s wrong with our country right now. In my opinion.
Debbie, thank you for this reflection. It left me both comforted and convicted.
As a pastor, I’ve been in situations where people weaponize Scripture or moral outrage in ways that seem to bypass the heart of Jesus’s message. I’ve had to respond in love and truth—sometimes in real time, in front of others. And what strikes me, reading your words, is how much our unconscious biases can shield us from actually seeing the person in front of us—sometimes even Jesus Himself in disguise.
Here are my questions:
How do we help people—especially those sincere in their faith but deeply entrenched in “us vs. them” thinking—begin to recognize when they’ve filtered someone out of their vision of ‘neighbor’? What’s a gentle, grace-filled way to invite people into that self-awareness without immediately triggering defensiveness?
“How do we help people—especially those sincere in their faith but deeply entrenched in “us vs. them” thinking—begin to recognize when they’ve filtered someone out of their vision of ‘neighbor’? What’s a gentle, grace-filled way to invite people into that self-awareness without immediately triggering defensiveness?”
Chad, what a thoughtful and deeply pastoral question—thank you for wrestling with this. To be honest, I’m not very good at it myself, so I’m glad you asked, so I can develop a coherent response for myself. Here goes:
One gentle way to invite people into greater self-awareness is to ask questions that stir curiosity rather than confrontation. For example: “What might this person’s story be?” or “How might Jesus be present here, even if we’re uncomfortable?” When we shift the frame from judgment to wonder, people are more likely to reflect than react.
It also helps to model this in ourselves—sharing a time we misjudged someone and how the Spirit helped us see them differently. That kind of vulnerability opens the door for others to do the same, without shame.
One tool I often share with my coaching clients comes from Chris Coursey and Jim Wilder. It’s the CAKE acronym—a helpful guide for keeping conversations grace-filled and connected:
C – Curiosity: Wonder aloud without accusation. “I’m curious—where do you think that belief came from?”
A – Appreciation: Name something you sincerely admire. “I appreciate how much thought you’ve put into this.”
K – Kindness: Speak with a tone and posture of kindness—even when truth-telling is needed.
E – Empathy or Eye Contact: Stay relational. Connection opens hearts far more than correction.
Ultimately, it’s about creating space where conviction feels safe—where grace goes first, and truth follows in love. We’re not trying to “win” an argument; we’re inviting people to see more clearly—with Jesus at the center. And that begins, always, with love.
Hey Debbie! Thank you for this standout post. I echo Chad in appreciation for your conviction through Christ. Often, I am forced to deal with people who are polar opposites in lifestyle, character, and cause. I have found it extremely helpful to navigate this by seeing God in them in spite of them.
As you mention self-awareness, how do you personally remain such so that you do not fall prey to becoming biased?
“As you mention self-awareness, how do you personally remain such so that you do not fall prey to becoming biased?”
Daren, thanks for your kind words. As I shared with Chad, I’m not great at preventing implicit my implicit bias, but “One gentle way to invite people into greater self-awareness is to ask questions that stir curiosity rather than confrontation. For example: “What might this person’s story be?” or “How might Jesus be present here, even if we’re uncomfortable?” When we shift the frame from judgment to wonder, people are more likely to reflect than react.”
Whether I’m inviting someone else into greater self-awareness or inviting myself, these are good questions of curiosity on which to focus my attention. So I would ask myself, “What is causing me to feel this way about this person? What’s happening in my body? Is there a reason I’m feeling triggered? What happened in my past to cause me to act or think this way?” Always asking “What triggered me?” is a critical first step to knowing oneself.
Hi Debbie – you rightly tie bias to heuristics, where we take mental shortcuts to deal with the overload of information. Knowing that system 1 thinking is a limited resource, how do you prioritize when to engage in system 1 thinking rather relying on heuristics to navigate through your day?
“you rightly tie bias to heuristics, where we take mental shortcuts to deal with the overload of information. Knowing that system 1 thinking is a limited resource, how do you prioritize when to engage in system 1 thinking rather relying on heuristics to navigate through your day?”
Hi Christy, I think you mean system 2, right? Since (I’m pretty sure) that’s the “slow thinking” pathway through the brain that requires a great deal of fuel.
Honestly, I’ve recently recommitted myself to Jesus’s command to “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness.” I’m working – by the grace of the Holy Spirit – to continually focus on that as the “thinking” invitation. My hope is that the more I do it, the easier it becomes and the more quickly it moves to the fast track of my brain. Time will tell.
Hi Debbie,
Thank you for this post, I thought it was really special and something you wrote jumped our page at me, “if we aren’t aware of the ways our brains automatically shield us from certain types of people, we may never realize how often we walk right past Jesus.” As you practice de-biasing, where have you recently discovered Jesus in a surprising place?
“something you wrote jumped our page at me, “if we aren’t aware of the ways our brains automatically shield us from certain types of people, we may never realize how often we walk right past Jesus.” As you practice de-biasing, where have you recently discovered Jesus in a surprising place?”
Julie, that’s a great question. I think I just need to focus more on how everyone I meet is a beloved child of God. I remember on Sat. as I was at a rally for our small community in Maine – with somewhere around 300 people, I think – there was one Trump supporter with his sign standing on the other side of the road. One of the women in our church walked across the street to take photos of all OUR signs, but before she returned, she stopped to chat with him and shake his hand and say hello (she also commented that she is glad he is able to have his free speech “over here” and we had ours “over there” and isn’t that what democracy is all about? She doesn’t think he got the point). If nothing else, I am sure Jesus was right there in that conversation.
I’m looking out for such situations in my context too.