Living with Tension
“He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.”
Ecclesiastes 3:11
Living with tensions is part of the human experience. The reflections of the author of Ecclesiastes reveal a man who sees that God has placed some idea of eternity in our hearts. Yet, we are limited in our ability to comprehend entirely what God has done, is doing, and will do.
Sometimes, the tensions we experience are resolved. The ability to introduce and resolve tension in unexpected ways is a common theme in the arts, including in music [1]. A music teacher once taught me to sing the melody of the nursery rhyme “Pop Goes the Weasel” but skip the note for “pop.” Because it is such a familiar tune, the absence of its signature element makes the return of the melody more impactful. We introduced tension by omitting the note and resolved it by returning to the melody.
Sometimes, tensions are not resolved. Instead of resolution, some tensions need careful integration or balance. The author of Ecclesiastes says that “for everything there is a season” (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8): birth and death, planting and uprooting, weeping and laughing, keeping and casting away, among others. For the Christian, other tensions can include being gracious and being truthful (John 1:14), work and sabbath (Exodus 20:8-11), and partnering with the Holy Spirit in doing our part and having faith that God will do his (James 2:4).
In Why We’re Wrong About Nearly Everything [2], Duffy presents a number of ways in which our understanding of the world is revealed to be erroneous. Most of this work presents examples of how data reveals faults in our understanding of the world across several topics. With each example, Duffy presents the associated logical faults, biases, or inconsistencies that may be at play. Much of this work is consistent with the findings of Kahneman [3] and also overlaps with the work of Hans Rosling, as published in his presentations and magnum opus, Factfulness: Ten Reasons We’re Wrong About the World–and Why Things Are Better Than You Think. [4]
Duffy’s conclusions at the end of his book drew my attention most, especially the chapter on how we choose to “deal with our delusions” [5]. Duffy’s analysis identifies several tensions for us to consider for integration, blending, or balancing:
Progress and polarization: “Most social realities are getting better”, Duffy says [6]. This matches many of Rosling’s conclusions in Factfulness. However, this is framed by his prior acknowledgment that one thing may not be getting better: we are “fragmenting into ‘tribes’ with highly divergent views.” [7] How do we respond to the tension of progress when it results in increasing polarization?
Challenge the thought, accept the emotion: Our responses to issues are not purely based on facts, but our opinions are often formed largely by our emotional responses. Since “denying that we have an emotional reaction to, for example, immigration (whether positive or negative) is pointless and impossible” [8], Duffy recommends that we accept the reality of our emotional responses but remain rational enough to temper these emotions with deliberative and contemplative thought. [9]
Cultivating skepticism without cynicism: How do we remain open to new ideas without losing our sense of center and what we know to be true? Duffy recommends that “some skepticism is valuable” [10] to keep us in a position where we can give audience to new ideas without becoming either untethered from reason or cynical and prematurely dismissive.
What is true for all of us, and what is true for some of us: Duffy’s work is based on the premise that we all share a common trait of being prone to errors in judgement, yet one of those errors is that we think others are more like us than they are. “We are not as typical as we think,” [11] he writes, and yet the theme of the book is that we are all, to varying degrees, subject to thinking that does not match reality. The tension I observe here is between how much we are similar to one another, and how much we are dissimilar.
Protecting a sense of reality: What is the responsibility of those with authority to ensure information is correct and reliable, and what is their responsibility to uphold the value of free speech, even if it is untrue? Duffy wrestles through these issues [12], concluding that this is a difficult issue that may need innovative solutions to find the appropriate line between censorship and control against bad actors.
Facts matter, but storytelling and dialogue move us: It is fitting that a book that uses data to demonstrate delusions would elevate the value of facts. However, Duffy clarifies that while facts have merit, the evidence for facts being capable of correcting delusions is very mixed [13] and that storytelling [14] and creative methods for dialogue [15] are powerful channels for changing minds. He advocates for using both facts and stories wisely when we communicate issues.
What does this mean for the Christian leader?
In light of this, it appears that a key skill for all leaders is knowing how to discern the dynamics of two or more true things that have some element of tension with one another. To engage the cultures we are in, Christian leaders must integrate their thinking across several fields: epistemology, theology, anthropology, sociology, philosophy, just to name a few. This is a giant task which also requires humility, grace, and curiosity to acknowledge the situations and moments where one does not have answers but is living a life that seeks them.
For the Christian leader, perhaps then the greatest felt tension is that between God’s infinitude and our limitations. Called to be like Christ, yet knowing we are not yet. Sanctified and holy while very aware of our weaknesses. Always working to understand more yet every discovery further revealing our ignorance.
Like Kahneman, Rosling, and others in this domain, Duffy’s work clearly demonstrates examples of where our understanding can be faulty or our judgement erroneous. What I would note as the Christian distinction is that we are not able to correct all our faulty thinking purely by our own power; to pull ourselves up ‘by our own epistemological bootstraps’ so to speak. Duffy and others do acknowledge that we are limited in our ability to self-regulate: “I’ve been studying this stuff for about 45 years and I really haven’t improved one bit.” [16] We feel the gap between where we are and the divine and holy nature of the Creator, again quoting the writer of Ecclesiastes:
“He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.”
Ecclesiastes 3:11
Perhaps this is what we mean when we talk about ‘grace’: to acknowledge the tension between what has been or what is and what should be, what will be, or what our hearts long for, and to accept that God’s perfect character and nature is enough to cover the distance.
Notes
[1] Saindon, Ed. “Tension and Resolution | Berklee,” May 1, 2014. https://www.berklee.edu/berklee-today/summer-2014/tension-and-resolution.
[2] Duffy, Bobby. Why We’re Wrong About Nearly Everything: A Theory of Human Misunderstanding. First. New York, NY: Basic Books, 2019.
[3] Kahneman, Daniel. Thinking, Fast and Slow. First paperback edition. Psychology/Economics. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2013.
[4] Rosling, Hans, Ola Rosling, and Anna Rosling Rönnlund. Factfulness: Ten Reasons We’re Wrong About the World–and Why Things Are Better Than You Think. First edition. New York: Flatiron Books, 2018.
[5] Duffy, 221-241.
[6] Ibid., 231.
[7] Ibid., 229.
[8] Ibid., 231.
[9] Ibid.
[10] Ibid., 232.
[11] Ibid., 233.
[12] Ibid., 234-236.
[13] Ibid., 237.
[14] Ibid., 239.
[15] Ibid., 239-240.
[16] Ibid., 225.
About the Author
Joff Williams
I help communities and people discover their identity and purpose by discovering the identity and intent of their Creator. I am a follower of Jesus, husband, father, son, sibling, music nerd, recovering IT nerd, just an all-around nerd nerd, and mediocre but happy runner. My work involves leading and loving the communities of Mercy Ships, an international hospital ship mission deeply rooted in the love of Jesus.8 responses to “Living with Tension”
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Joff, I enjoyed your connections between our wrongness and God’s grace. I was just thinking that not only do I need to navigate that I am in the process of becoming more like Christ, but so is everyone around me.
Thanks, Robert. My own current journey involves an emphasis on grace. In my regular prayers, by myself and with others, I am often reminded to thank the Lord for the fundamentals I would otherwise take for granted. It is through grace and not my own will that I even woke up today and my body operated on autopilot and kept breathing overnight!
Joff,
Duffy’s quote, “I’ve been studying this stuff for about 45 years, and I really haven’t improved one bit,” is equally as frustrating each time I see it. The idea that there is little to nothing that we can do to change makes it seem disincentivizing to even try. However, I appreciate how you used it to illustrate our sanctification. Of ourselves, we can’t close that gap.
As you have time, can you comment on a side question? Free speech and Duffy’s wrestling. How do you see a way forward in this area?
It’s a humbling statement, isn’t it, Darren? I think that’s why I’m skeptical of the idea that we need to focus our efforts into “taming” System One thinking. Rather, I see it as a vital, often helpful, part of the mind that needs bringing under the redemptive power of the Holy Spirit, just like every other part of me.
I think to answer your question better, I’d need to apply it more specifically to a given circumstance. At a general level, I think free speech is a worthy goal, but, like all healthy freedoms, it needs pairing with functions of responsibility and accountability. If an individual in a system has sufficient accountability and a sense of responsibility to the community, then free speech seems to work. Without those things, it becomes dysfunctional.
Your application of Duffy’s book to the Christian leader has me asking, “What is reality?”. Physically, we exist in a world that we experience through our senses and we feel and think with our brains. But as the Christian knows, this is not the full reality. Are we delusional to think there is a kingdom somewhere in that spiritual realm, but right here, that is the ultimate reality? As your quote from Ecclesiastes 3:11 reveals, we have eternity in us and we don’t even know all of what God has done.
I like your definition of grace as God filling the spaces in between!
Alright, let’s get metaphysical 😀
I personally think the delusion would be to assume that I can fully grasp everything that God has done, is doing, and will do this side of my mortality. I cannot go so far as to deny that there is reality and it has definition – that would completely undermine the nature of understanding and learning in my view. I’m just saying that I don’t expect to get it 100% right in my current state. I do think the journey we are called into is to figure it out, however, which is why we have eternity in our hearts. It’s totally OK to live in God’s grace to cover the gap. And not just OK, but a delight! It takes a lot of the pressure off.
Joff –
Your pointed reminder, “To engage the cultures we are in, Christian leaders must integrate their thinking across several fields: epistemology, theology, anthropology, sociology, philosophy, just to name a few” is at once helpful and overwhelming!
How much of this do you think needs to be intentional or formal, and how much is being present to the people in the moment in an aware, humble, and discerning posture (not that those are mutually-exclusive options)?
Either way, I’m reminded of our dependency on Holy Spirit to enable and empower us as we are led into wisdom, truth, and knowledge.
Thanks for your thought-provoking post!
Hey Jeremiah,
I think my brain would trickle out of my ears if I tried to be an expert in all of these fields. There are some people who get to commit their lives and careers to studying across some of these disciplines, but I suspect they generally have double my IQ. For me, taking them intellectually and emotionally seriously, gaining a thorough understanding of the basics, and integrating them thoughtfully into my view is enough for what I do. I can specialize in a subject or two, but I don’t need to be the smartest person in the room on every subject, and I find it easier to lead when I have a solid grasp of the basics. It makes learning from others fun, too!
I’ve come to develop a great love for the charismatic church fellowship I’m a part of. Paired with classic contemplative Christian tradition, I find a great deal of meaning and hope in the idea that the Holy Spirit really is key to all growth and learning.