Like Riding a Horse
Ted Lasso once said, “Taking on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse, isn’t it? If you’re comfortable while you’re doing it, you’re probably doing it wrong.”[1] The most effective leadership isn’t about avoiding problems or playing it safe—it’s about embracing challenges while prioritizing relationships, emotional maturity, and cultivating joy. In Rare Leadership[2], Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder argue that the best leaders don’t just solve problems; they build high-trust, joy-filled cultures by focusing on relational strength and emotional resilience. This article will briefly consider the four habits of R.A.R.E. leadership, and the joy factor in great leadership.
Common vs. High-Capacity
According to Warner and Wilder, Rare Leadership is founded on four essential habits that foster resilience, trust, and lasting effectiveness. Warner and Wilder contend that these habits set high-capacity leaders apart from ordinary leaders.[3] These habits are identified by the acronym R.A.R.E. and are described as:
Remain Relational – Prioritizing relationships over mere results fosters a culture of trust and collaboration, allowing teams to thrive even under pressure.
Act Like Yourself – Leading with integrity and emotional maturity ensures consistency, preventing stress or challenges from compromising one’s values.
Return to Joy – Emotionally mature leaders help their teams reset after setbacks, creating an environment where difficulties are met with resilience rather than fear.
Endure Hardship Well – Facing adversity with stability and wisdom strengthens both leaders and teams, turning challenges into opportunities for growth.[4]
These four habits, which they find to be uncommon, form the core thesis of their work and relate to what they refer to as the fast-track system of the brain used for leadership and guidance. This contrasts with the slow-track systems mainly used for management. Another thread of their work explores the importance and integration of joy. They emphasise the importance of joy in effective leadership and bring it to the forefront of the leadership conversation, claiming, “Leadership travels at the speed of Joy.”[5]
Fueling Great Leadership
Joy is a central theme in Rare Leadership, not just as a fleeting emotion but “that feeling of well-being in the deepest part of our soul.”[6] The authors emphasize that joy is a state of relational connection—where people feel seen, valued, and safe. Leaders who cultivate joy create environments where individuals thrive, even amid challenges.[7] If neurological research shows that joy is the fuel the human brain was designed to run on, and teams flourish in an environment of joy, then cultivating joy should be the priority of all those aspiring to be the most effective leader.
To foster joy, leaders must first recognize what builds it. The authors discuss practical ways leaders can shift from fear-based reactions to joy-driven leadership. Throughout the book, joy is repeatedly framed as something leaders can intentionally cultivate rather than just a fleeting emotion. They advocate for habits like expressing appreciation, building trust, and maintaining emotional maturity to create an environment of joy.
It is equally important to identify what drains joy. Chronic stress, fear-based leadership, and relational disconnection erode joy and lead to burnout. Effective leaders are mindful of these dynamics and actively work to restore joy by prioritizing relational health over pressure-driven performance. However, as the authors point out, we won’t always be able to maintain joy and must learn how to recover and return to joy.[8]
Choosing Joy vs. Chasing Happiness
In Rare Leadership, the authors emphasize the difference between true joy, which comes from meaningful relationships and purpose, and artificial substitutes that only provide short-term gratification. In this area of my leadership journey, I have experienced the most growth. Just as a pacifier soothes a baby without actually meeting their deeper needs—like hunger, warmth, or connection—adults often pacify themselves with things that provide temporary comfort or happiness but don’t produce real joy, by turning to distractions, entertainment, or unhealthy habits to create a sense of momentary relief. However, these substitutes don’t generate lasting joy; they merely mask discomfort or stress. What robs us of joy? One of our biggest pacifiers is the pursuit of happiness and comfort, which leads to the many aspects of avoidance, Warner and Wilder highlight.[9]
At first glance, joy and happiness may seem interchangeable; however, they are pretty different. Happiness tends to be tied to our circumstances, relying on external factors and the events that unfold in our lives. Additionally, it is dynamic, rising and falling with the ups and downs of daily experiences. As a result, happiness is often fleeting, as it is linked to unpredictable and uncontrollable aspects of life. In contrast, joy is the fruit (evidence) of the Holy Spirit in our lives and is more than a feeling. It is an attitude we adopt based on our hope in God’s love and promises. Whereas happiness is circumstantial, joy is rooted in a relationship – in what Christ has done for us, restoring our relationship with our Creator. Whereas happiness is dynamic, joy is steadfast as we trust in the unchanging character of God. It reflects an inner confidence in God’s faithfulness, no matter the situation. Finally, joy lasts, unlike the fleeting nature of happiness. It flows from knowing God and trusting in His unchanging character. Happiness may fade, but the joy of the Lord remains and strengthens us. As Nehemiah declared to the people of Israel, “The joy of the Lord is your strength”[10] This joy sustains, strengthens, and points us back to the One who is our ultimate source of joy—Jesus Christ. Consistent with the findings of Warner and Wilder, joy of the Lord is the ultimate fuel of great leaders.
Understanding the difference between joy and happiness enables leaders to create environments where individuals can experience deep, sustainable joy instead of relying on temporary fixes. This leadership style encourages people to choose joy rather than chase after happiness. It fosters attitudes that embrace joy, even amid difficult times.
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[1] Ted Lasso, Season 1, Episode 1: Pilot. August 14, 2020.
[2] Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, Rare Leadership: 4 Uncommon Habits for Increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement in the People You Lead, (Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2016).
[3] Ibid., 25.
[4] Ibid., 25-26.
[5] Ibid., 24.
[6] Ibid., 24.
[7] Ibid., 212.
[8] Ibid., 171.
[9] Ibid., 172.
[10] Nehemiah 8:10
About the Author
Chad Warren
A husband, father, pastor, teacher, and student seeking to help others flourish.10 responses to “Like Riding a Horse”
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Hi Chad,
As a Pastor, how has your understanding of the Fast Track System influenced your approach to leadership and emotional regulation?
In my leadership journey, I have found that cultivating joy is crucial in the fast-track system and it requires intentionality, especially during challenging circumstances. Joy is not merely about maintaining a positive outlook—it is about fostering a deep sense of connection, trust, and resilience within my team. One way I have intentionally cultivated joy is by prioritizing relational engagement. Instead of solely focusing on tasks and outcomes, I strive to ensure that my team members feel valued and heard. Even in stressful situations, taking the time to acknowledge their efforts and celebrate small wins creates an environment where joy can thrive.
Hi, Chad, thank you for your post. You talked about joy and how it fuels leadership, and how it is contrasted against happiness. And that the author emphasized that it is the ‘state of relational connection,’ how would you compare joy and purpose in this context? Thanks again, Chad.
Great question! In this context, joy and purpose are deeply connected but distinct. Joy is the sustaining force that comes from relational connection, while purpose is the driving force that gives our actions meaning. Purpose sets our direction, and joy sustains us on the journey—especially through challenges. When leaders cultivate both, they create an environment where people feel both valued (joy) and motivated (purpose), leading to lasting impact.
Thanks Chad. How have you personally navigated the tension between choosing joy as a sustaining force in leadership and the natural pull toward comfort or temporary relief during challenging seasons?
I’ve found that choosing joy, even in tough times, requires intentionally focusing on long-term fulfillment rather than short-term comfort. While it’s tempting to seek immediate relief, I remind myself that joy comes from meaningful connections and purpose, which ultimately provide deeper, lasting peace. It’s a daily choice to embrace resilience and trust in the process. In other words, focusing on my “Why.”
Chad,
You write, “If neurological research shows that joy is the fuel the human brain was designed to run on, and teams flourish in an environment of joy, then cultivating joy should be the priority of all those aspiring to be the most effective leader.”
If joy is the fuel, do you think this is tied to a dopamine response? I am thinking of the Molecule of More and how that dopamine is tied to joy, or vice versa.
Great insight! Yes, I do think joy is closely tied to dopamine. Dopamine is often associated with reward and motivation, and it plays a key role in experiencing joy. When we cultivate joy in leadership, we’re essentially creating an environment that triggers positive dopamine responses, reinforcing motivation, engagement, and connection. Just like we read in the The Molecule of More, when our brain gets that reward through relational connection and positive experiences, it fuels our drive and enhances our leadership.
Thanks Chad. What are the greatest obstacles to maintaining joy in your personal life and in your work with the church?
I think the most significant obstacle for me in maintaining joy is losing sight of my true identity and purpose. When I wonder from my focus on Christ, I lose joy.