Let everyone learn to sail
“I have found that almost every leader asks these two questions of God: Who have you created me to be? What have you created me to do to serve you and your kingdom?” [1]
Aren’t those the very questions that most Christians ask themselves sooner or later? I would even venture to say that non-Christians ask essentially the same questions, even if they are phrased differently. Seeking to know ourselves and our purpose in this world is simply part of being human.
For this reason, I see Tom Camacho’s work in Mining for Gold: Developing Kingdom Leaders Through Coaching as applicable on a much wider scale than he seems to intend. I would go so far as to say that his title, and by corollary the main premise of the work, pigeonholes the book too narrowly.
This is a book for leaders, I agree, because anyone applying Camacho’s method (let’s call this person the “coach” for clarity) must have earned some degree of respect to speak into another’s life (let’s call this person the “coachee”) in the way Camacho proposes. But it does not follow that the coachee must be someone who has their sights set on leadership. Camacho’s principles are not specific to raising up leaders in Christian ministry. These practices can and should be done in every discipleship, shepherding, and dare I say parenting relationship.
Camacho refers to the abundant life Jesus promises in John 10:10. He says, “Thriving is not just a good idea. It is your birthright.” [2] If thriving truly is our birthright then it is not limited to leaders. That promise is for all followers of Jesus.
One could argue that pastors and ministry leaders should always be raising up others to be lay leaders. We’re all familiar with the exhortation to “work yourself out of a job.” The best leaders are always training and delegating. We see this in Jethro’s advice to Moses (Exodus 18:13-26) and in Paul’s advice to Timothy (Timothy 2:2). While that is a sensible leadership principle, applying it here misses a whole segment of potential practitioners of coaching leadership. There are many coaches who serve coachees who will never be ministry leaders.
To be clear, I very much appreciate Camacho’s approach. It would be a missed opportunity to apply them only to those we deem as potential leaders. In other words, these principles should be applied irrespective of a coachee’s potential for current or future leadership.
There are many obvious and a few not-so-obvious applications of Camacho’s method. As I was reading, I couldn’t help but think of a newly arrived missionary who I’ve been meeting with. We’ve been calling it “mentoring” but honestly it looks a lot like what Camacho describes. We meet monthly with little or no set agenda. She shares what’s on her mind and I ask probing questions. I occasionally share from my own experiences of adjusting to the mission field 11 years ago, but mostly I listen and reflect back to her what I hear. Thanks to this reading, I have an expanded list of questions to ask the next time I see her. [3] From now on, I will prompt her to clearly identify some action steps at the end of each meeting. [4]
Of course, I can’t help but see the clear connection to my area of research which is parenting. Camacho could just retitle the book Mining for Gold: Parenting with a Coaching Mindset. His foundational acronym is a great approach to parenting:
G – Gold is everywhere. (Yes, even in the toughest kid.)
O – Open your eyes to see it. (How often are we blinded as we struggle to meet the demands of each day?)
L – Learn the skills to draw it out. (Great parenting is much more than instinct. Skills can be improved.)
D – Develop others continuously. (After all, the end goal of parenting is developing these little humans. And it is a continuous task. Nonstop.) [5]
Likewise, we could apply the examples of selfish leadership that Camacho reprises from Bob Mumford’s work. If we look at them through a parenting lens, we could call them “disasters waiting to happen.” Without reproducing them all here, they include wanting to look good, thinking you’re always right, having a hidden agenda and choosing to remain undisturbed. [6]
Finally, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention my favorite tip in the book, which is also an important parenting practice. “A great reminder to keep ourselves in the right frame of mind is the acrostic WAIT: W hy A m I T alking? When we find we are doing most of the talking, it’s time to pull back and reengage our listening skills.” [7] I laughed out loud when I read those lines, but the advice is quite serious and necessary. In parenting, as in much of life, effective listening is an essential tool.
In Chapter 7, Camacho includes a beautiful metaphor for the Christian life. “Sailing is a more biblical picture for our life with God. In sailing, there is an outside force, the wind of God’s Spirit, helping us do things we could never do on our own. The Spirit does the work. He can move a mighty ship through the water with ease and beauty, but that ship must cooperate with the Wind. He is able to accomplish things that are impossible for us to do in our own effort.“ [8] What an essential perspective for every Christian to live out. What a beautiful gift it is to give our children this reliance on the Holy Spirit. What a worthy goal for every one of our coachees. Leader or not, we can all learn to sail.
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[1] Camacho, Tom. Mining for Gold: Developing Kingdom Leaders through Coaching. First published. Nottingham: IVP, 2019. 28.
[2] Ibid. 106.
[3] Ibid. 45.
[4] Ibid. 47.
[5] Ibid. 11.
[6] Ibid. 56-57.
[7] Ibid. 43.
[8] Ibid. 67.
About the Author
Kim Sanford
7 responses to “Let everyone learn to sail”
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You truly inspire me to wrestle more with the author’s intent. I do agree that one could see the title as pigeon-holing the book to a narrower field of readers, however, would the author lose needed focus in trying to reach the masses at large if not clarifying the niche? Having said that, you are so right, a sequel would be advantageous!
I appreciate and agree with your critique of the premise of this book, Kim. As I was taking my notes, I also made a comment about the various scenarios in which this may be useful: as a coach to a leader, as a coach to a follower, and as a coachee. (I looked it up, and apparently, ‘coachee’ is an accepted word, as nuts as it sounds) But your comment captured where I think I was headed in my thoughts.
As you work on your area of study, do you think the GOLD model will be an area you refer to?
Hi Kim, I have nothing profound to say other that I really enjoyed reading your thoughts. Something you write jarred me into thinking about “learning the skills” to successful coaching and parenting. Having a special need child, I find myself at a loss for some of the needs and responses I get from her. I need to learn how to listen better. I also loved the sailing bit. As a kid from Hawaii, I have embraced the picture of the Holy Spirit filling my sails as we are his witnesses to Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria and to the ends of the earth. Shalom…Russ
Hi Kim,
You wrote (much more astutely than I did!) about a similar theme that I picked up on related to Camacho’s book: the narrow focus of ‘leaders’ as the target. Your application to kids was insightful and it fit so well. Your comment about the ‘mining for gold’ practices being done in every day discipleship relationships only broadens my perspective further and makes me desire a more comprehensive paradigm/definition around terms like mentorship, discipling, coaching, pastoring, spiritual direction, and counselling. Perhaps we will have a chance to explore that when he comes to teach us next week. Thanks for your thoughts.
Kim, I think you and Scott Dickie have locked on to a similar theme with your analysis of the book. The applications of Camacho’s work can extend beyond the (perhaps) overly used but vague use of the word “leader” and could perhaps be more broadly applied to _____ (insert word/role here, like “disciple” or children as you have suggested). There is another well-read author/book on coaching that came to mind within the Christian ministry world that seems to use the idea of coaching more broadly as disciple-making. I think the author runs the risk of inadvertently losing his readers and muddying his target. Perhaps this could be alleviated by the author asking, “Who is the intended target?” and then locating his depiction of “leader” in a more specified role. I think “leader” could perhaps be better defined and then that might provide some handles for the reader, but as you and Scott D. have suggested…this needs more clarity.
I appreciate how you have broaden the approach to coaching and recognized their potential outside of leadership when you wrote, “It would be a missed opportunity to apply them only to those we deem as potential leaders.” As I read the book I find a lot of similarities between counseling and spiritual direction. I always want to make sure I am staying in my lane professionally, but in everyday conversations I notice the benefits to listening and asking good questions that simply bring more depth to my connections with others.This seems to be similar with coaching. I meet with monthly with a few women individually that are not seeking counseling or spiritual direction. I’m not sure I can even call what we do mentoring, but it does offer space to be seen, heard, known, and loved which is life giving for both of us. What are you receiving from your time with you new missionary friend? Is there gold to be mined for yourself in that relationship?
I resonate with you on the importance of being aware of elements that can interfere with the training process to develop others, such as wanting to look good and always feels right. Camacho warns it seriously.
Then I also felt that the WAIT acrostic touched my heart. Camacho reprimanded me sharply and encouraged me to immediately do some introspection because I might be talking more in the context of my ministry than listening.
You’re right, Kim! Every Christian needs to humble themselves, be willing to be led by the Holy Spirit, and learn to sail with Him to fulfill divine will so our life will be fruitful and have competencies to thrive the others.