Leading Myself through Relationship
This book, ‘Humble Leadership,’ contains takeaways that can enrich one’s leadership journey as these lessons are harvested and applied diligently. Upon hearing the title without diving into this book, my thoughts dwelled on the idea that this book would address leadership attitude in terms of humility and pride. Well, it did, but more; and even in a manner that grabbed my attention to think of humility, relationship, and of course leadership. I will not speak directly about this subject; however, I will share what I have experienced leading up to my writing this blogpost.
Within the past months, I seemed to be doubting myself more and more. I was almost sure that I wouldn’t be able to come back to this program- moreover, able to complete! Timewise, financially, and even the energy to do it. On top of all that, I keep asking myself, why do I need to do this! When I started this program though it was always rough, I seemed to think that there was a purpose. I like to say that where HE leads, I follow.
Timewise, I started to feel that there is more stuff to do that allows me to. I feel guilty when I say that my 4yrs. old daughter (adopted) takes up more of my time because I love having her to be part of our lives. Familywise. I must juggle my time between a 4yr old daughter, a 14yr old teenager son and my wife. Second in the competition, is my work assignment and my community. I tried to limit my work activities to workplace only, however, there are those that claimed that have emergencies, or just don’t plan well that I must assist during my days off or after work hours. My community involvement has started to creep into my work time zone as well. Other times, I have clients that show up without an appointment to discuss our community commitments.
For the past couple months, I have tried to get myself prepared for the beginning of this semester financially speaking. I remembered how difficult funding the Fall Semester was. So, I started by leaving my balance in student account to be used for my Advance fee. Then counting on my Fall Semester Scholarship to pay for my tuition and airfare for the advance. One day after the deadline for scholarship application, I received an email from the Scholarship Coordinator stating that my scholarship application was incomplete. I completed the application package, but that was after the deadline. The only hope I got was prayer. After that my visa application to Cape Town requires me to have accompany a receipt of paid round-trip airfare for the advance. Without hesitation, I robbed Paul to pay Peter. I took my advance fee and paid for my round-trip ticket to complete my visa application. Graciously, I received notice of a scholarship award; however, the amount was smaller than expected, and the funding had been exhausted but will be disbursed when new funds become available in October.
Just as I was expecting to receive my visa, my application was returned with no visa. I was required to appear in their Consulate General of South Africa as a requirement for the visa application. As I am writing this blogpost, I am at LAX awaiting my flight home to Portland, OR. My trip experience has taught me to humble myself and to look at humble leadership through the lenses of relationship, openness, and trust. I was a little unwilling to make this trip for two other reasons than Los Angeles. Firstly, our family budget was tight and mainly I don’t ask for help from my relatives. I was supposed to take care of them not the other way around. This was only an excuse to disguise my pridefulness.
I am happy I made this trip for where I was weak, HE made me strong (through HIS, not mine) and for where I lack, HE provided. The most important takeaway is through learning to be a leader first of myself – which would be first to humble myself and be strengthened through personal relationship with our God first and then to others while maintain openness and trust. Just a coincidence that I am gambling that this would ok for my first post as I am awaiting my flight for my final destination here in Las Vegas.
About the Author
Noel Liemam
10 responses to “Leading Myself through Relationship”
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Noel,
Thank you for being vulnerable as you share your struggles. As I watched my wife struggle with going back to school to get a teaching certificate while our kids were young, I knew that I could not have started this program much earlier than I did. I have empathy for your situation. It is a joy to still have you in the program, and I look forward to getting to know you better this semester as we are in the same syntopical interview group.
Thanks also for TRUSTING God to take care of everything. His faithfulness is something I have to constantly remind myself of when I have fear and anxiety.
My question and hopefully it is not too personal, how have you seen your family rally behind you, cheer you on, as you pursue this degree?
Hi, Mr. Styer, thank you for your words of encouragement and sympathy, it is greatly appreciated. And yes, I enjoy being part of this learning journey. I am constantly learning valuable lessons as I listen and learn from you and everyone.
And yes! this is quite a journey for me. Most of the time I have no choice but to trust HIM as HE reveals the way step by step. Thank you for you comments.
Hey Noel,
It sounds like you’re walking through a really challenging season right now. I know it must be hard not being able to give as much time to the doctoral program as you’d like, but I also see the importance of how you’re pouring into your children and your community. On top of that, you’re such a powerful example to the Micronesian community. I’ll be praying for you as you continue carrying these responsibilities while still holding onto the desire to finish the program. And I truly hope we’ll get to see you in South Africa.
Your comment about asking for financial help really struck me: “I was supposed to take care of them, not the other way around. This was only an excuse to disguise my pridefulness.” That kind of honesty is so powerful. Have you had the chance to sit with that thought and consider if it might also touch other areas of your life? Maybe this could even be an opportunity to let people come alongside you and support you in this journey.
Thank you for your openness, Noel.
Hello, Ms. Burns, thank you for taking the time to read. Thank you for your prayer as well. I am praying I would make the trip this time. Though I am going step by step, I will trust where HE is leading me.
You are so right when you mentioned about listening and accepting advice or just having others alongside in this journey. It was harder before, now I am taking baby steps. Thank you, Elysse.
Hi Noel, Thank you for sharing your reality and what you are learning in it. My prayer is that you continue to grow and persevere through this program. Your voice is powerful because it shows your self-awareness and willingness to grow, both essential qualities of a leader. The author talked about a leader being vulnerable enough to listen to their team members and allowing the group to help form decisions. I am wondering if you find that your wife, friends, or other family members can walk alongside you in your doctoral journey to support and encourage you.
Hi, Diane, thank you for the comments. It is so true that there is much value in our team members and it would be unwise to ignore that. I for one failed in that area so many times especially when it comes to involving people that I have known for so long. But I have learn my lessons the hard way. I have realized the value at least listen and consider suggestions and advices as they are offered. Thank you, Diane.
Noel, thank you for this post. You mentioned how Schein argues that authentic leadership emerges through “Level 2 relationships” built on openness, vulnerability, and trust, rather than transactional exchanges. How might you see your story as an example of moving from Level 1 toward Level 2?
Hi, Daren, thank you for your post and your question. That is a very interesting question, however, I would like to know more about it. I would guess that authenticity can be a result of relationship that is founded on openness, trust and vulnerability. And that could be happening through transactional exchanges. I would like to learn more. Thank you, Mr. Jaime!
Hi Noel,
I am glad you will be with us in Cape Town. I appreciate hearing more about your story and life. Can you say a bit more about the community interactions that call upon your time? How do you see yourself as a humble leader in that role? Julie
Hi Noel – thanks for your humble posture and vulnerability. You have a lot on your plate, juggling family, work, school, and community responsibilities.
Have you had a chance to share how these burdens are affecting you with your wife and family? I am praying that God will make a way for you – I was just reading in Mark 5 today and was reminded to trust God for the impossible.