Leading Like Children
Now they were bringing even infants to him that he might touch them. And when the disciples saw it, they rebuked them. But Jesus called them to him, saying, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.”
Luke 18:15–17
While reading Poole’s Leadersmithing, a phrase caught my attention: “Being a delight to work with will tend to be your best bet for attracting excellent performance from others.” [1]
I liked it. There was an intuitive sense that others would enjoy working with me when I was my best self. It felt ‘Occam’s Razor-y’. [2] It was simple, but I think Poole acknowledges that by saying “tend to be your best bet”, rather than it being a guarantee of performance. As a generalized principle (i.e. if everyone acted this way), I think it is sound.
I experienced a similar feeling while reading Walker’s Leading out of Who You Are in his Undefended Leadership series. [3] The “Leading like a Child” chapter particularly caught my attention as an important factor in how we lead. Walker phrases something similarly to Poole when he describes children being taught to take responsibility: “The thing about taking responsibility as a leader is that it often breeds responsibility in those around you.” [4]
This chapter opens with an example of someone who acted to resolve a significant problem involving abuse and bullying. Instead of going through a long process to bring order to the dysfunction, this individual acted locally and directly by gathering support and momentum to confront the bully and explain the consequences should they continue their behavior. The story’s climax is the revelation that this problem-solver was an eight-year-old child, and the setting was their classroom. [5]
Simple Solutions
I am confident that there is much merit in the nuances and complexities of leadership theory. Walker’s descriptions of the four egos are helpful for thinking through states of mind (both in self and others) and how to respond well to each. The emotional front and back stages, uses of power, the strategies of control, and the dynamics of the currency of trust all gave valuable perspectives on the mechanics of leadership. However, all theory needs a few solid fundamental principles on which to sit, and, in my view, it is the formation of trust and acting on principles that I see as critical ingredients to the foundation.
“Some basic values and principles of action” [6] were enough to establish justice and peace in Walker’s example of the child leading in the classroom. It reminds us that if we operate from a platform of well-regulated belief, trust, and being (i.e., presence) [7], we can even trust that those who hurt us can change if given the opportunity. With trust, remarkable things are possible, and leadership can even come from places we do not expect.
Walker’s example shows the impact of a child not being held back by fears, bureaucracy, and others’ expectations. We see a person taking responsibility to explain the consequences of another’s actions directly, trusting that change is possible this way. The expensive and time-consuming solution is bypassed to get the real heart of the issue: the social and emotional changes needed to stop the dysfunction.
Becoming like Children
The gospel accounts of Matthew, Mark, and Luke describe an occasion when Jesus’ disciples come to him seeking clarification on who is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. As young Hebrew men, they are likely products of their time and culture, steeped in the stories of the great people of the past: Abraham, Moses, David, Elijah, and more. Perhaps they were now wondering where Jesus and they, Jesus’ chosen few, fit into this ranking of the greats. They were certainly thinking about their position relative to one another (see Luke 9:46 and Mark 9:33-34). In response, Jesus chooses to chill the atmosphere of pride by explaining that the qualities that represent God’s kingdom are manifest in a child.
“Calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, ‘Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'”
Matthew 18:2–4
Child-like Living
Becoming a father changed me. I began to see the world through a different lens, which helped me understand God’s heart in a way I did not before. In writing on the importance of maintaining a light and playful touch, Walker says that “He [a father] delights to share this activity with his child out of the joy of ‘working together with’ her–for the sake of their relationship, their love, their fun, her learning.” [8]
As our first child learned to walk he loved to follow me around and “help” on tasks. I love this photo of the two of us building a workshop together: I with my heavy-duty framing hammer and him with his Fisher-Price emotionally heavy-duty equivalent.
There was no assumption that he could not join in the building. He saw his father do it, and so he wanted to and believed he could do the same, and I welcomed him in (we did draw the line at power tools). There was simple trust, responsibility, playfulness, and joy.
I believe that this is what Jesus is communicating as his leadership model: the way of the parent with their child; the way of an apprentice with their master. Walker points out that a child is simple and idealist, and maybe that’s the point. [9] My son was not threatened by status or being “good enough” at this age. It was simply enough and satisfying to do as his father did. There was a simple joy and humility in the principle. He knew the joy of being with and being like his father, and I likewise had the joy of being with him and being like one another.
Poole’s comments reminded me that my favorite relationships are the most joyful ones, and Walker reminded me that I enjoy being around simple people who harbor no ulterior motives, just like children. Jesus reminds us that child-like humility is the path to greatness in his kingdom.
I propose we can apply a few simple principles to become more like the leaders Jesus calls us to be, and that Walker reminds us of:
- Childlike humility that leaves space in minds and hearts for the Holy Spirit to work.
- Childlike simplicity that acts on principle and without fear.
- Childlike joy that others may enjoy us and we enjoy being ourselves.
Notes
[1] Eve Poole, Leadersmithing: An Apprenticeship Approach to Making Great Leaders (New York: Bloomsbury Business, 2017), 74.
[2] Susan Borowski, “The Origin and Popular Use of Occam’s Razor | American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS),” accessed March 7, 2025, https://www.aaas.org/taxonomy/term/10/origin-and-popular-use-occams-razor.
[3] Simon Walker, Leading out of Who You Are, The Undefended Leader 1 (Carlisle, United Kingdom: Piquant Editions, 2007).
[4] Ibid., 136.
[5] Ibid., 127-129.
[6] Ibid., 130.
[7] Friedman, Edwin H. A Failure of Nerve, Revised Edition: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix, Revised Edition. La Vergne: Church Publishing Incorporated, 2017, 18.
[8] Walker, Leading out of Who You Are, 131-132.
[9] Ibid., 129.
About the Author
Joff Williams
I help communities and people discover their identity and purpose by discovering the identity and intent of their Creator. I am a follower of Jesus, husband, father, son, sibling, music nerd, recovering IT nerd, just an all-around nerd nerd, and mediocre but happy runner. My work involves leading and loving the communities of Mercy Ships, an international hospital ship mission deeply rooted in the love of Jesus.9 responses to “Leading Like Children”
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Joff, that’s awesome. I love the insight into your son and how he assumes he can be like his dad. The reciprocal point about our own faith and being like our heavenly father is wonderful. It seems to me that the way back to that childlike faith is through taking responsibility. Could you write a bit more about the connection between the taking responsibility you began with and the childlike faith you ended with?
Thanks for reading, Robert.
Walker and Poole’s comments that we are shaped by the influences around us could be looked at bilaterally. We are both an influence upon and also influenced by others when we join in common purpose, taking responsibility for the health of our relationships and environments we find ourselves in.
In a healthy environment, people would seem to have fewer inhibitions to step into solving problems and either including or joining others in doing so. Like the child in Walker’s example, or my son seeing something was being built, a child may observe a space where something needs doing or someone needs help, and choose to join in with fewer inhibitions than an adult would have. I’m writing from an idealistic perspective as, clearly, children can sometimes be selfish or cruel to one another as a result of our sinful nature.
It seems a natural step to me to extend this to the life of faith. Like the child who steps forward into a space to solve a problem and advance a situation, we can choose to step forward into the space where God calls us, one step at a time. I see it as a kind of “long obedience in the same direction” as Peterson puts it.
Joff,
I enjoyed that you pointed out the freedom your son enjoyed at a young age in the photo and that he was not “threatened by status or being ‘good enough’ at this age”. As I read that part of your blog, it made me wonder why we let that go as we grow older. Looking at the example of the prophets and the apostles throughout Scripture, they don’t seem concerned about status (after Jesus’ death) or sufficiency. What do you think tends to hold people back from embracing that kind of freedom in todays society?
Hi Darren,
I think that’s such an important question, because it’s a question of identity, which is a critically important topic in leadership. Where we source our identity dramatically influences our thinking and consequent behavior.
Social relationships are very powerful and, when healthy, are wonderful and life-giving. However, they can also be corrupted by sin, and sources of pride, envy, jealously, and so forth. There are fewer more powerful motivators than shame and fear, and I suspect that a significant part of what holds us back is a belief that our identity and value is determined by the social currency of what others think about us. In addition to this, we’re now externalizing our social status in the form of likes, comments and reposts (see Haidt and others), a significant departure from what has been an internalized measurement for most of human history.
Why does it change over time? Perhaps it’s because children have fewer psychosocial inhibitors. They see a thing they want to do, they go do it. I’d be curious to ask the perspectives of those who work with children on how they interpret this.
Either way, the way to full wholeness and healing is the way of Jesus: a sense of identity as defined by our Creator; a child of God, known, loved, valued beyond flaws, reconciled through the love of Christ, and empowered by his Holy Spirit to grow past our faults and live an abundant life.
I love the personal example of your son and the delightful interaction that a parent and child can have. Parenting is certainly one of the greatest areas of leadership in my life.
Your picture of the humble joy of a child who finds contentment in being like his father is, is a beautiful reminder of what it is to lead as Father God leads us. God delights for us to be together and does not have unrealistic expectations for us to do it the same way he does. To be like Christ is to follow what he is in the context of our abilities in the stage of growth we are in. It is so silly that I often think God requires more of me than what I can actually do. A father does not expect his small son to be able to lift a heavy hammer and hit a nail head correctly when the child does not have the strength or fine motor skills developed to do so. Why would I think God would be that way with us.
I came across a book by Erika Anderson, Leading So People will Follow, which talks about leading like a child. She echos Walker’s view on playfulness, but adds authenticity, openness to feedback and curiosity. While curiosity relates to Walker’s wonder, Anderson talks of it as an eagerness to learn and understand. Child-like curiosity is exploring new ideas and asking lots of questions. I believe curiosity is an essential trait for a good leader, It puts one in a position to always be learning and exploring new things.
Have you noticed any other child- like characteristics that benefit you in the way you or you work-team leads?
Andersen, Erika. Leading So People Will Follow. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2012
Hi Jess,
Great question. One specific example comes to mind: one of the first exercises I like to do with new teams is “I love and I hate …” We go around in the team, one at a time, and we describe what things in our work we really love and bring us joy and one thing that can irritate us really quickly.
I once had someone on the team describe that he doesn’t like it when he is interrupted and doesn’t get to finish what he is saying, and it also irritates him when he observes it. It totally transformed how the entire team communicates in meetings. Everyone gave space to allow each other to finish their thought as a result, and we listened well to each other.
It seems simplistic and childlike on its face, but I think that’s part of why it works. If we have an understanding of what each other like and don’t like it can transform how we work with one another. It just requires us to accept a more simple and childlike approach.
What a great reminder, Joff! The fact that Christ referenced childlike faith and humility as a kingdom-entry prerequisite is quite sobering. When you consider the modern workplace and society at large, do you think humility and excellence (in whatever vocation) can go hand-in-hand?
Absolutely, I do, Alex. In fact, I think we’re in deep need of leaders and people in general who can pair humility with excellence. A quick search on HBR had what appeared to be some good reads on the topic, including this one: https://hbr.org/2009/09/humility-as-a-leadership-trait.
That said, my own experience is probably what has formed my opinion the most: I really enjoy working with people who are both excellent at what they do and don’t need their ego highlighted to be and stay excellent.
Thanks for sharing the nice HBR article, Joff. I’ll be thinking about this statement from the article: “Few have said it better than legendary Alabama coach, Paul “Bear” Bryant. “If anything goes bad, I did it. If anything goes semi-good, we did it. If anything goes really good, then you did it. That’s all it takes to get people to win football games for you.”