Leadership and Volume
Erin Meyer’s Culture Map offers great insights into the struggle and gifts of getting things done in a globalized context. She reminds us that not everyone thinks, acts, responds, and leads the same way we do. How helpful to understand better the ‘water’ I swim in and to see it plotted on a continuum alongside other cultures. This is not a continuum of poor to excellent but a continuum of differences. This language of ‘different not better’ serves us well in global leadership. It sounds right and good but can be difficult to practice, which is why I think the following quote strikes me as humorous:
I was struck by the the continuum of communicating. The US is the furthest left and there are more countries that fall on the high context end than on the low context end. The US is obviously a bit of an outlier here[1].
I have heard the old adage before that was shared in Meyer’s introduction – that humans were given two eyes and two ears but only one mouth. We should take the cue from nature and make use of them accordingly. It sounds similar to James’ exhortation of ‘everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry’[2].
But I wonder why do I and in general, American leaders, find it difficult to be quick to listen?
Simply writing that generalization makes me cringe slightly. But the Culture Map is straightforward about the need for generalizations in order to establish a baseline, a foundational perspective from which to then establish and build more context and understanding[3].
The American assumption and my experience has taught me that the leader in the room is whoever is the strongest and loudest person. When you combine our explicit communication with a passion for clarity, you have an ideal leadership framework. A large portion of my last two roles was to provide as much clarity as possible – both up and down. It was a full-time job. Leaders talk and tell.
But I think a dangerous assumption can result. If speaking and directing is strong leadership, then by default, listening can be seen as weak. I have incorrectly equated leadership with volume.
No matter our personality or cultural context, we can learn from Jesus’ example. Yes, there are many words and teachings recorded but if one looks carefully, you can see a plethora of questions Jesus asks. In the Gospel recordings there are easily a hundred questions that He asks others[4]. Who do you say I am? What do you want? Why are you afraid? Do you believe I can do this? And on and on. He asked questions and listened for a response.
Early on in my role at Christ Fellowship I met with a mentor who asked how it was going. I responded ‘Ok I guess. All I really have been doing is listening to people.’ Here it was again – my secret tendency to see strength as talking and telling people what to do and to see everything else as well, less than that.
Listening is not nothing. I apologize for the double negative but it is helpful for me to hear it this way. Listening to others is ministry. Listening is a part of strong leadership more than ever. This quote hits at what is in my mind for Christian leaders, no matter the nationality –
‘Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.’[5]
Meyer’s writing and examples are a timely reminder to me as I look ahead at this semester’s dissertation work. The very real and necessary work in the months ahead is to listen. To listen truly and openly, without assuming I know what they will say or only for my chance to respond.
Yes, leadership will require words. Our dissertation will most definitely require words. May I see how necessary and powerful listening is – how requisite it is, even, for the words I do end up saying to have a chance of eternal impact.
[1]Meyer, Erin. The Culture Map: Decoding How People Think, Lead, and Get Things Done Across Cultures. New York, NY: Public Affairs, 2015, 34.
[2]James 1:19, NIV
[3]Meyer, Meyer, The Culture Map, 13.
[4]http://blog.adw.org/2012/02/100-questions-jesus-asked-and-you-ought-to-answer/
[5]Augsburger, David W. Caring Enough to Hear and Be Heard. Regal Books, 1983.
About the Author
Andrea Lathrop
I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ, a wife, mom and student. I live in West Palm Beach, Florida and I have been an executive pastor for the last 8+ years. I drink more coffee than I probably should every day.10 responses to “Leadership and Volume”
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No need to apologize for the double negative! Listening is not nothing belongs on a bumper sticker. Thank you Andrea.
I agree with the REV, I will make the sticker and only take half the profit :).
Seriously love this quote, “Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable”, and fits well into a Bible 101 course I’m teaching at Church. We are using Peterson, Eat This Book, and his main thesis is we should practice listening vs reading the word. Meaning that we need to approach the scriptures to hear the voice of God not read a book to create our own voice of God. This quote reminds me that in listening for the voice of God I’m letting God be heard and therefore loved.
Mario! I love your application of that quote to Scripture and our relationship with God. I hadn’t extended it there and it is beautiful. Thank you for this, friend!
You may find Susan Cain’s work in Quiet of help in understanding the American impulse to believe that talking is doing something and listening is not. The idea that the one who speaks first and/or the loudest is best is deeply ingrained in American culture. I hope that helps.
Sean, this is the second time I’ve heard Susan Cain’s name. The other was for a book for raising girls. I will look into this – thanks!
Thanks, Andrea. I have read our next book since I am out of the country this week and it addresses what you have written with substance and clarity. I found myself nodding and cringing through the entire book. Being “quick” and being “slow” are traits of a tale we told our children in The Tortoise and the Hare and if applied to communication and understanding will turn leadership and followership into something entirely different.
I am going into a quite unique context this week and will be employing my listening skills with greater sensitivity! Thank you.
Tammy – thank you for the head’s up on the next book. 🙂 You are so right that we use that story with kids but rarely apply it to our lives as adults, let alone communication. There is no doubt in my mind you will have a fruitful time wherever you are going.
Thank Andrea for this great information which we are facing now as a global community in doing business. Communication need more listening and understanding each other from different cultural communities across the world. If you can get a book we wrote out of experience on cross cultural collaboration with a professor from GFU school of Education. The book is called “Lessons from Cross-Cultural Collaboration. How Cultural Humility informed and shaped the work of an American and a Kenyan.”
John – that sounds awesome! Thank you for sharing. There really isn’t a way to shortcut good communication when it comes to other cultures. I love the term ‘cultural humility’!
Andrea, so many times in meetings at work I hear the Holy Spirit telling me, “you do not have to say that”. I need to practice listening much more as you say, regardless of culture. Thank you for the reminder!