Leadership: A test of Character and grit.
I hired someone to manage our Unhoused Mobile Shower clinic in August of last year. However, in January, they resigned. Two weeks into the job, she requested a meeting to share concerns about my leadership. I will admit it was tough to hear. I had never had an employee challenge or question me like she did. Her main concerns were a lack of direction and my being too direct with employees. Though difficult, I tried to listen, reflect, and adjust to meet her needs.
When she resigned in January, she came into my office, frustrated about my micromanaging and lack of consistency as a leader. I listened to her concerns for over an hour and asked for specific examples to understand them better, but she could not provide them. After a lengthy discussion, I apologized for not meeting her expectations and promised to improve. Still, that was not enough for her. She told me she could not trust me as her leader, did not believe I could change, and disagreed with my direction for the ministry. She felt she could not continue working with me in good conscience. Her final words hit me like a cold bucket of water, and I am still trying to process them.
How do you maintain self-control when someone attacks your Character? How do you keep leading when you are told you are not good at it? How do you continue to lead when you feel inadequate, unqualified, and unsure if you are even meant for the role? These are some of the questions I have grappled with over the past month. Then, I read this week’s assignment and finally saw a glimmer of hope: A light at the end of the tunnel. In her book “Leadersmithing: Revealing the Trade Secrets of Leadership,” Eve Poole explores leadership development and focuses on the idea that leadership is a craft that can be refined over time, much like a skilled trade. Poole calls this Leadersmithing “because it is about apprenticeship, craft and hours of practice.”[1] She believes that leading requires “accelerated acquisition of skill.” [2]
Poole outlines key components of effective leadership, including skills such as decision-making, adaptability, and communication. She argues that leadership is not innate but learned through experience, reflection, and continuous practice. These first concepts were a breath of fresh air. The assumption and pressure that you must know everything and have it all figured out in order to lead can be overwhelming, often causing people to crack under the weight of that expectation.
If you hope to become a leader to gain power, do things your way, control when and how things are done, and expect loyalty without question, you better think again. Poole explains leadership is like running a marathon; you do not wake up one day, decide to run, and suddenly be prepared. You must train both your body and mind for the challenges ahead. Similarly, leadership requires training in those areas and demands courage, brains, and heart. Without these qualities, you will not finish the race, and you will let yourself down and those who have decided to run alongside you.
Poole gives several tips on how to become an effective leader throughout her book; some of those include self-regulation, reflective judgment, openness to learning, understanding when to wait and when to press on, delegating, knowing when to ask for help, self-awareness, and many others but one of the key things she explains a leader must have is Character. Seems like a no-brainer, right? A leader must possess Character, yet so many lack that key characteristic. She argues that personal integrity, ethics, and authenticity in leadership determine how effective you will be in your leadership.
The author gives the example of leaders who make decisions rooted in ethics and transparency, which fosters trust among their followers. Poole explains that leaders gain loyalty and respect from their employees when they act with integrity. This was the moment it all clicked for me. Over the past month, I have struggled with my sense of calling to lead my team, and I have been wrestling with why this employee’s words affected me so deeply. I have faced criticism before and usually pride myself on having thick skin. However, while reading this book, I realized that her comments bothered me because they attacked my Character; they questioned my integrity and made me doubt the loyalty of my team.
I lead a team of 23 individuals, many of whom have been with me for years, and some were part of the team even before I arrived. This employee was the first one to express these concerns to me. Do not get me wrong—I am not claiming to be a perfect leader with nothing left to learn. Quite the opposite, I know that each day presents growth and development opportunities. Every day, I come to work ready to fight for my team, show my appreciation for their hard work, and acknowledge that we would be unable to accomplish everything we do without their commitment to the ministry. I understand that my work is “delivered through others.” [3]
This book reminded me that while I may occasionally encounter someone who disagrees with me or questions my leadership if I “constantly have one eye on the audience, we do not have both eyes on the work.” [4] My Character drives me to keep going and keep my eyes on the work. My Character will push me to improve, compel me to ask the tough questions, and take others’ critiques seriously. To ignore those would be a failure of leadership. I do not have to accept or agree with every critique, but my ethics and integrity should guide me to self-reflect. Poole writes, “Character protects your future ability to lead because it is the very thing that will save you when everything else is stripped away. Courage, grit, determination—these character traits are the stuff of leadership when the chips are down. While confidence is faked, Character is real.” [5]
Leadership can sometimes leave you feeling vulnerable, and leading in the church can even make you question your calling. However, our focus must remain fixed solely on Jesus. If we follow His example and strive to embody His Character, our leadership will reflect Him. In moments of self-doubt, His Character will provide the courage, grit, and determination we need to keep running the marathon.
[1] Poole, Eve. “Leadersmithing: Revealing the Trade Secrets of Leadership.” Bloomsbury, UK, 2017. Pg. 3
[2] Poole. “Leadersmithing”. Pg. 3
[3] Poole. “Leadersmithing”. Pg. 21
[4] Poole. “Leadersmithing”. Pg. 48
[5] Poole. “Leadersmithing”. Pg. 47
About the Author
Linda Mendez
2 responses to “Leadership: A test of Character and grit.”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
I am sorry you had to experience a teammate like that. Poole talks about a leader’s ability to absorb negative feedback. For me, this encouraged me that leaders will inevitably have negative feedback, but that they can build the muscle to absorb it better and for it to become second nature. When I have experienced situations like you mention, I can often spiral down into insecurity and questioning, but as I mature I do see my ability to absorb it better and not make it so personal to my value. It is definitely not my first response and I have to work through a lot of feelings and thoughts, but I get there faster then before.
Linda, that sounds tough. I wonder if there is such a thing as a deeply caring leader living their life to help others who would find such feedback easy? When we don’t try or care deeply about something, we don’t mind so much if what we do is seen as less than good. But when we care passionately, and there is no specific complaint voiced, then it feels quite cruel because we can feel powerless to improve.
Negative feedback is only well received by anyone, including me, when there is trust in the relationship. I often say that I want people to trust my intentions, as I am usually trying my best. However, I always have more to learn and help to improve, which is always interesting and useful.