I have decided to follow Jesus = I have chosen to enter pain.
Good Friday is one of my favorite church services of the year, with Ash Wednesday being a close second. This is not because I am a masochist but perhaps more the opposite. I am an optimist and I like to think of life as hope-filled. I also did not grow up with the tradition of either service so they provide a depth by the very fact that they remind us of the inevitability of death as humans and as followers of Jesus. They are the prelude to resurrection.
Just a few weeks ago, at the Good Friday gathering, I was reconnected once again to the beauty and the brutality with which Jesus died. His last set of seven words conveyed his loving-kindness for us along with the depth of connection with his Father. After participating in the Eucharist, the singers led us, literally, out the doors of the sanctuary singing, “I have decided to follow Jesus.” Knowing the song and singing its verses in the middle of Portland filled me with the reminder that I have chosen the way of pain, the way of death and it is the only way to life. I can’t skip Good Friday to get to Easter Sunday. Without the pain of Good Friday the hopefulness of the resurrection is lost.
Deciding to follow Jesus does not just mean remembering the journey of Jesus’ death annually. This pain is lived on the daily, dying to oneself as the journey to whole life with God. Yet, this is no easy task. As Samuel Chand writes in his book, Leadership Pain: The Classroom for Growth, pain is normative in our lives. This is particularly true for leaders. Most people do whatever they can to take the easy road. Just last week I heard a pastor say publicly, I want to take the easy way. In college I remember my roommate, who was a psychology major saying more than once, “people take the path of least resistance.”
The truth of the matter as Chand argues, is that leaders do not grow without pain. Beyond merely enduring pain when it comes, leaders must plan for pain within themselves and their organization. “Growth always involves pain. In organizational growth, leaders actually cause pain, but for a very good reason. It’s the only way to grow. At every growth barrier, pastors need to deepen their insights and sharpen their skills. When they stop growing, their church will stop growing. The areas that often (if not always) need attention are people, structures, leadership development, space, being outward focused, and personal growth.”[1]
Judging Samuel Chand before knowing him, you would suspect he’s a slick business guru that has his stuff together and may not have a deep well from which to speak on pain. Just Googling him brings up several images of a man in a suit, with perfect hair and teeth along with an eye catching website and bio. However, this is not the whole story when reading his latest text, Leadership Pain, where he speaks of the inevitability of the pain all leaders go through, including some of his own.
Chand does have an optimistic approach to his work, whether reading Leadership Pain or reviewing his website. He shares stories and life truths with the intent to motivate people to move through their pain chapter by chapter, with content to know, consider and do. One of his primary taglines, ending each chapter is, “And remember: you’ll grow only to the threshold of your pain.”[2]
As the text is only a few years old and a popular book, there are many Amazon raving reviews and very few academic reviews. The only one review I found was from the Journal of Applied Christian Leadership, which neatly summarized the text and asked for a more thorough conclusion to weave in the central themes of the book.[3] These reviews are only mildly helpful. Taken together with the Christian community as mentioned with regard to the need to consider more than resurrection only, they are understandable. People do not talk about pain and so the idea of having a book written on it with many quick steps for action to end each chapter is a nice way to begin the conversation. However, people are dealing with tremendous amounts of pain today, Christian or not, and live very isolated from one another. The reality is that leaders must actively be embracing their own pain in healthy ways so they can proactively engage the pain of the church and the community around them. This is the way of Jesus.
A few days ago one of our staff members at church had us watch a video of a Stephanie Grettzinger preaching about the reality that everyone is not okay. People say they are okay and but then have a depth of hiding and shame that are under the surface. She argues this has become normative in the church and people need to get real with God and one another about the pain that is actually happening to be able to live authentically.[4]
Leaders have a unique responsibility. They are called to lead. Leading in the way of engaging personal and corporate matters of pain is no exception. American culture avoids pain at all costs. Christ’s culture heads in the direction of pain. “I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back. No turning back.” If leaders are willing to be disciples of Jesus, there must be a willingness to authentically lead others into the inevitable pains of life.
[1] Chand, Samuel. Leadership Pain: The Classroom for Growth. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2015, 94.
[2] Chand, 22.
[3] Borrett, Mark. “Chand, Samuel. Leadership Pain: The Classroom for Growth.” The Journal of Applied Christian Leadership; Berrien Springs Vol 9, 2. Fall 2015, 102-103.
[4] Grettzinger, Stephanie. “The Unfiltered Life” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDeVaFIKLQM (April 11, 2018).
About the Author
Trisha Welstad
Trisha is passionate about investing in leaders to see them become all God has created them to be. As an ordained Free Methodist elder, Trisha has served with churches in LA and Oregon, leading as a pastor of youth and spiritual formation, a church planter, and as a co-pastor of a church restart. Trisha currently serves as leadership development pastor at Northside Community Church in Newberg, OR. Over the last five years Trisha has directed the Leadership Center, partnering with George Fox and the Free Methodist and Wesleyan Holiness churches. The Leadership Center is a network facilitating the development of new and current Wesleyan leaders, churches and disciples through internships, equipping, mentoring and scholarship. In collaboration with the Leadership Center, Trisha serves as the director of the Institute for Pastoral Thriving at Portland Seminary and with Theologia: George Fox Summer Theology Institute. She is also adjunct faculty at George Fox University. Trisha enjoys throwing parties, growing food, listening to the latest musical creations by Troy Welstad and laughing with her two children.15 responses to “I have decided to follow Jesus = I have chosen to enter pain.”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Hey Trish, I’m totally with you on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. And singing “I have decided to follow Jesus” on Good Friday seems especially poignant. What a deep experience.
However…when it comes to Chand, I could not get past the ” slick business guru” image, and I didn’t even google the guy. It’s just the iage I picked up from the book.
Nevertheless, I agree with his premise. And I am convinced that discipleship that is authentic must include a theology of suffering. I wonder how that will play into your research.
I will definitely talk about suffering but probably not head on like a theology of suffering. After the conference I was at this weekend I see a lot of real time suffering from barriers and missed discipleship but that’s a bit of a different angle. Remind me though if you see a good place for it as my research continues.
Yes! Can I add on my encouragement to Jenn’s comment above to include a theology of suffering in your research? The discipleship you portray – Good Friday suffering and deciding to follow Jesus out the doors – is one that includes pain. Thanks Trisha for this post today. Happy Sunday.
Thanks Mark, I mentioned to Jenn I am not sure quite how it will fit with the new bent to my research but keep me accountable as you see it fitting. I am totally open.
Trisha,
I particularly connected with your reference to Stephanie Grettzinger. It’s true that none of us are ok and the more we attempt to pretend that we are the less genuine the church becomes. Whether in a position of leadership or not there is some value in being transparent as it helps the entire body know that we are not alone in this struggle. Thanks for the reminder of the connection to the cross to leadership pain.
Dan, you should totally watch her video (referenced in the footnotes). She is half comedian half preacher of truth. We showed it to our college students the other night and they loved it! The transparency is so needed and yet so hard!
Trisha,
Congratulations on a strong finish for our first year in LGP. Great opening and putting some theological pain in the proper Biblical perspective. I am not Catholic but am very drawn to the liturgy and supernatural relationship between the Christian and Christ in the Eucharist. I see similar connections with Christ and the armor of God.
I love your Good Friday reflection. It reminded me about a recent study I did on both sides of the Apostles Creed that suggests that after Christ died he went into Hades or Hell before He was resurrected. If that is true, then there was surely a lot of pain, and a confusing inference of a second chance for the lost. I land on the side of Good Friday as the first example of “absent from the body, present with the Lord.”
Christ gave us the best picture of leadership possible, giving His life for those he served. I do not know if Chand’s no pain no gain approach would work for Christ, since He created everything out of nothing, and breathed life into humankind.
In my travels and experiences, I have seen people and leaders who “desire” pain, in unhealthy and destructive circumstances. So, I urge prayer for wisdom and discernment from the Holy Spirit before jumping on the Chand bus towards the normative expectation of pain.
Stand firm,
M. Webb
Mike, I agree the idea of normative pain is not the point. More often it’s about accepting the pain that’s before us and learning how to process and live in Christ with pain. I don’t think Jesus had pain as a normative reality either.
I like your connection with AOG and Eucharist. I am sure there could be some rich connections there as well. I know Jay mentioned his denomination has a difficult time with the Apostles Creed on the very point you mentioned about Jesus’ decent and absence from God. I have not had
Great post Trisha. You know, the irony with all of these posts is that I suffer with headaches almost every day of my life, and yet, as a gift of God (at least that’s what I believe), I never have a headache when I am preaching. It is near miraculous…but I feel no pain when I am in the pulpit. 10 minutes after I finish, BAM…headache returns. I tell the congregation that it is for this reason that I preach so long. LOL. Apparently ministry is pain, but preaching is not.
Shawn, I had the same thing happen to me once (I am so sorry that you struggle with headaches daily!) with preaching. I had a migraine and didn’t fully recognize it until after I preached. My headache was was totally gone while I was preaching. What a gift from God. Praying for your healing.
Trisha,
Thanks for this good review of the book and your analysis as well. I think the way you tied your own reading of it to the Good Friday experience (and the true faith that is involved in that) is important. It could be easy to be disconnected from the realities of the local body of Christ, when thinking “big thoughts” or reading some of the stories that Chand offers. But, you’ve located yourself as a reader and a practitioner within the local church body. That’s where so much pain dwells, as you point out and illuminate. Thanks.
I was laughing at your awareness of his slick vibe. I totally saw that and thought, he should go on the road with someone like Zig Ziglar. But he definitely was clear on his premise about pain being a teacher, and the book was accessible, if not deep. I wonder how you are connecting this with discipleship.
Seriously! I almost posted a comic strip of pics of Chand from a quick google image search because he was so done up. I didn’t have enough time as I was deboarding a plane while posting! Perhaps he could hang with Tony Robbins as well.
I am keeping my eyes open for how this might fit but no direct use quite yet, except that pain is not the exception when discipling people but more of a rule.
Enjoyable last post of the quarter Trisha! I appreciated your reminder of the essential nature of Good Friday in order to more appreciate Easter Sunday. If we don’t identify with the PAIN of Christ we can’t fully appreciate the POWER of His resurrection. I also enjoyed your statement: “However, people are dealing with tremendous amounts of pain today, Christian or not, and live very isolated from one another. The reality is that leaders must actively be embracing their own pain in healthy ways so they can proactively engage the pain of the church and the community around them. This is the way of Jesus.” I couldn’t agree more, if leaders don’t get in touch with their own pain and process it, they will not be healthy or effective leaders.
Thanks Jake. I bet you see this first hand all the time! You live with people and bring God’s life to people who have so much pain. Lord bless you and Jenn in your good work!