He Had Me at Long Walks on the Beach
Diani, Kenya – Indian Ocean
I was bored — reading through the first book of the semester — Humble Leadership, wondering why our Advanced Subject Matter Expert would have us read this book. It seemed as if the book was just an addition to some of the other leadership books along a similar vein to Rare Leadership or Simon Walker’s trilogy. Then, Schein compared culture to the beach, and he gripped me.
I miss the beach.
I miss the sand between my toes.
I miss the smell of the salty ocean and the roar of the crashing waves.
Schein writes, “Culture [the beach] is both a friction impeding change and an accelerant shaping the gradual response to the leadership and change cycles.”[1] Throughout my life I have gone to the same beach repeatedly. It is never the same, it is always evolving. The sand responds to the outside forces that are upon it, the wind, waves, and the footprints of man. But the sand is not going anywhere, it just takes a new shape.
In similar ways, culture is all around us. It will always be there, yet it too, is constantly changing. Some aspects of culture are strong and foundational, such as American individualism. Other aspects of culture are light and transitory. For instance, can anyone recall the names of the couple disgraced on the Cold Play jumbotron? Probably not. Yet, culture was shifted in that moment of time.
When our cohort was in Oxford, we heard Rev. Prof. Will Foster speak into culture as well. He highlighted the work of Edgar Schein and spoke into some of the aspects of leading through cultural challenges. He said, “Culture is the game, not just one aspect of it.”[2] A leader must understand the culture of the time, whether that is the culture at large, or the corporate culture they lead. Regarding the evolution of cultures, Schein writes, “In a dynamic environment made up of many subcultures, it is therefore important for Humble Leadership to work from a realistic model of the dynamics of how culture evolves.”[3]
Understanding Culture and Leadership
- Edgar Schein focuses on the humbleness of the leader, with an understanding of the cultural flow.
- In Rare Leadership, Warner and Wilder focus on emotional intelligence and a leader who is deeply personable.[4]
- In Leading Our of Who You Are, Walker focuses on the undefended leader.[5]
- In A Failure of Nerve, Friedman focuses on the integrity of a leader.[6]
If I were to bring these concepts all together synoptically, I might say that the term “authentic leadership” would be most apt. What is an authentic leader? An authentic leader is who I try to be. This is a constant struggle for me in my work. I work for a mission agency. I work with a refugee resettlement agency. I work with Africans. I work with Muslims. I work with people who would dismiss me right away if they heard the term “missionary.” Yet, I work with churches who constantly refer to me by that term. How do I portray myself to three different broad audiences (Christian, Muslim, non-Christian but Western) while remaining authentic to who I am, who God created me to be and the work that I do?
I find myself tiptoeing this line often and I strive to be the same person to all three audiences. It is in my honest approach that I find myself navigating more two relationships. Without the trust that is built up, through living authentically, it would be harder to attain level two relationships which are more collaborative and built on trust.[7]
Navigating Immigrant Beach
Where does a walk along the beach factor into the authentic, trust-building relationships?
Over the last few months, I have been progressively more vocal about the political situation in our country, specifically regarding the treatment of refugees and immigrants. This is a field that I am deeply knowledgeable in and am a subject matter expert on the topic in my city. Essentially, I know the contours of this particular beach I walk as I write and speak out on the subject. I realize I am not an expert on the contours of every beach (say the Tariff beach.) But I do know Immigrant Beach. So, I have chosen to speak of my experiences at, and perspectives of, Immigrant Beach. Not shockingly, this has come with some backlash. There are many people who have never visited Immigrant Beach, they have only seen pictures, but they want to argue that the pictures are correct, while my first-hand perspective is false.
These online commentors might be at a -1 or a +1 relationship with me. Yet, as I choose to refrain from name calling, or giving into rabbit-hole arguments, I have been striving for authenticity and a building of relationships. I realize that the sand on their beach looks different. The waves at their beach, National Beach, are calm as a big wall was built around their beach keeping the waves at bay. National Beach has many warning signs and flags about all the dangers but since it is heavily guarded, National Beach is boring. I realize that the idea of Immigrant Beach with its huge crashing waves and significant winds can be scary, but it is beautiful. As I share about this beach, I want to continually highlight the beauty and gently encourage those who have never stepped foot into it to come and check it out because the smell of Immigrant Beach is full of flavor.
________________________________________________________
[1] Edgar H. Schein and Peter A. Schein, Humble Leadership, Second Edition: The Power of Relationships, Openness, and Trust, Second Edition (Oakland, CA: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2023), 98.
[2] Will Foster, “Organizational Leadership” (Presentation, Oxford Advance – Session, Oxford, UK, September 25, 2023).
[3] Schein and Schein, Humble Leadership, Second Edition, 96.
[4] Marcus Warner and E. James Wilder, Rare Leadership: 4 Uncommon Habits for Increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement in the People You Lead (Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2016).
[5] Simon Walker, Leading Out of Who You Are, The Undefended Leader Trilogy 1 (Carlisle, UK: Piquant Editions Ltd., 2007).
[6] Edwin H. Friedman, A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix, ed. Margaret M. Treadwell and Edward W. Beal, 10th anniversary revised edition (New York: Church Publishing, 2017).
[7] Schein and Schein, Humble Leadership, Second Edition, 15.
About the Author
Adam Cheney
I grew up in California, spent five years living along the beautiful coast of Kenya and now find myself working with refugees in the snow crusted tundra of Minnesota. My wife and I have seven children, four of whom have been adopted. I spend my time drinking lots of coffee, working in my garden, and baking sourdough bread.14 responses to “He Had Me at Long Walks on the Beach”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Hey Adam, welcome back. Great to read your first blog of the final year. How do you, as a leader, navigate the tension between remaining authentically yourself across different cultural audiences and adapting your leadership communication in ways that build trust without compromising integrity?
Glyn,
One thing that I have intentionally started doing in this last year is letting the other person in a “discussion” have the last word. This has been hard to do but I have found it to be helpful as I try to not always prove that I am right. Instead, I offer my perspective once, challenge something about theirs, but then I choose not to try to have the last word. I have found the tone of some of these people to shift over the last few months. We might not be at a level 2 relationship yet, but we are growing in respect.
Wow! Adam, letting the other person have the last word is a testament to a high level of humility and maturity. I am not sure I am there myself. In situations involving naysayers at the -1 or 1 level of relationship, what helps you determine how much effort to put into that conversation? When do you try to establish trust and move a step toward level 2 and when do you choose to walk away?
Kari,
There are some people who simply want to fight and argue. Those people I just walk away from. It is not worth it. Some people also do not recognize fact vs. fiction. It is really hard to speak into a discussion about anything, such as faith in Christ, or immigration debates if one does not recognize fact and fiction.
Hi Adam,
I enjoyed reading your post. I am from an island, and I miss the beach.
In your observation, how do you see leaders cultivate authentic relationships across diverse cultural “beaches” while maintaining integrity and trust, especially when their identity is perceived differently by each audience?
Shela,
This takes time. Lots of it. It also takes a willingness to release our expectations and learn to trust others. It also takes a willingness to assume the good intentions in others. Cross cultural relationships take effort and time. There is no going around that. The challenge with many Americans is that we are not willing to invest the time.
Hi Adam, Nice to “hear” from you again. I always appreciate the perspective you bring to our readings. The approach you take to live authentically without dipping into name calling seems refreshing and holy. Do you find the longer you are working on building relationships with other that it gets easier or are the current happenings around deportation making it more difficult for those relationships to thrive?
Diane,
Current happenings regarding immigration have made it very challenging to engage with people. Honestly, most people in my circle prefer to simply hide their eyes from what is happening and not engage with it. However, those that do engage with it I find are often shocked to hear of what is happening to real live people.
Hey Adam,
Your post really resonated with me on several levels. I think my favorite line had to be, “National Beach is boring”—that made me laugh out loud. I also appreciated the way you drew parallels between the idea of the beach and your work.
What stood out most, though, were your reflections on authentic leadership and the effort to show up as the same person in every setting. That’s something I strive for as well, though I agree it can feel like a fine line to walk. I’d love to hear—what has helped you find that balance of being your authentic self while still adapting to different audiences?
Elysse,
National beach IS boring and lacks the flavor of different cultures. Imagine if America got rid of all ethnic food! One thing that has helped is navigating my NPO and doing the workshops. I found myself with a broad audience and navigating the different tensions. Another thing that has helped is bringing people along with me –for whatever I may be doing– and then seeing the different interactions.
Adam, I love your posts. I also love how you authentically put yourself out there.
How do you manage to maintain “level 2” relationships with those who do not share your views and convictions, but with whom you need to collaborate?
Graham,
I work to ask questions about why they believe what they believe. For instance, this week I had a dialogue with someone who claimed that Israel should not be a country. Rather than being defensive, I simply asked why she would feel that way. This led to deeper discussion.
Adam – Love the interwoven beach analogy. It’s a perfect fit when you mention the friction that creates never-ending change. Also, I’m proud of you for stepping more into the vocal space of advocacy. I believe your message will reach many who are in the “in between” space to determine what they believe.
But how have you navigated any level 2 or 3 relationships that have been reduced to 1 or -1 as a result of your recent sharing of your thoughts? Has your family experienced any backlash?
Jennifer,
Thanks for the encouragement. I have certainly received backlash, both in the lack of relationships and a reduction in financial support. Most relationships with family have been maintained simply by not talking about religion or politics with them. This leaves the weather and wine to discuss. I am not afraid to engage in conversation with them about harder topics but it is often easier to stick with lighter stuff.